a Safe Place By James
Disclaimer
This story deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between teenaged males. Should you be offended, or not be of the legal age to read such material, then please find something else to read. Also remember to donate to Nifty, so that these stories can remain free to the public.
Chapter 5
Continuing in 2015
Caleb
I sat on my bed and waited for Nathan. He said that he'd meet me at my house that Friday evening after he had his doctor's appointment. It was an appointment to check his CP and also to try a couple of adjustments on his meds. I hoped that it would go well and wished with all my heart that I could have been there, but homework didn't care about that.
It was now nearing the end of September and Nathan and I were happy as best friends and we were also dating. We were going to be waiting as best we could to have any sexual stuff happen, but for now we exchanged kisses, hugs and would sit on mine or his bed holding hands. Sometimes we even lay in one another's arms and would make out, then stop and just hold each other while talking. I remembered that first weekend we spent together and how we would kiss off and on that Saturday night, and most of Sunday and Sunday evening when we were in his room.
0000
The next day after being back at my own house, Nathan was allowed to come with me for the afternoon and we sat on my bed talking about the deeper part of our friendship. He was cuddled in my arms and I was stroking his hair gently and rocking him slowly.
"So where would you like this to go Caleb?" he asked softly.
"Well, I was wondering," I said, then stopped for a moment and kissed him on the cheek lovingly. "If you want to be together with me for a long time, I mean, if you want to be boyfriends for as long as we can be, then I'd really like that."
"So would I!" he said excitedly.
"I'm not sure I'm ready to do anything sexual yet," I continued on. "Maybe here soon I'd be ready for some oral and stroking one another, but I know I'm definitely not ready for anal. I want it definitely, but not any time soon. I think of that as being as special as how some straight couples think about their type of sexual intercourse."
"I feel the same way about all of that," he said and softly kissed my lips. "I don't want to make you feel like you have to do anything you're not comfortable with. I also don't want to do anything to you that you're not ready for either. I truly care deeply for you and I know that I could come to love you. I want to go at whatever pace you're comfortable with."
"Me too," I replied. "I want you to feel safe with me and I don't want you to feel pressured, like you feel like you have to do things to me that you're not ready for. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable with me at all."
"Thanks Caleb," he said and hugged me tightly for a moment.
"You're welcome," I said.
0000
I heard the knock at the front door and went to answer it. Nathan was parked in the doorway and I moved aside so he could wheel himself in to the house.
"I'm so glad you made it," I said helping him stand once the door was closed and locked.
"Me too my sweet one," Nathan responded. Once he was standing with his arms around my neck for support, he kissed me tenderly on the lips.
"You're a really good kisser," I said and kissed back.
"I'm glad to hear that," he answered happily. "So are you."
"I'm glad you feel that way," I said and then helped him sit back down in his chair.
We went in my room and I closed the door and helped him sit on the edge of the bed. I joined him and put an arm around him.
Kevin
I left the house to go and get an afternoon snack. On Fridays, I'd usually get something from Cathy's, which was a small coffee shop ran by Cathy Harrison and her husband Greg. They were an older African-American couple and they've always liked talking to me and they enjoyed all of their customers. They had the shop since 1990 and I began coming to it when I was 15 and the first time I met them, they liked me from that moment on. They both even moved in between someone who was up in my face one time at the shop giving me shit and calling me queer. That guy was ran quickly out of the shop after showing that he wouldn't stop his shit. When I came out to them the next time I visited them, they talked about setting me up with a nice guy. I laughed, but let it go. Even back then I still wasn't ready for anyone in that way.
Once at the shop, I saw that there were three cars in the parking lot. I went in and saw that there were two couples there, and a blond woman and a person standing next to her holding her hand. The person turned to her and from the side of their face, I could see that it was a guy. A spark of memory began to awaken within me. I felt like I had seen him before.
Once the line advanced, I saw that it was just the woman, the boy and I in line now. I was right behind them and the boy spoke up. He turned to his mom and pointed to the display case in front of him.
"That looks really good mom!" he said in a voice that held nothing but happiness and joy.
"That's a cream-cheese brownie," she said to him. "I might have to have the same thing."
I walked closer and spoke to the boy.
"That's actually my favorite," I explained. He turned to me and I knew exactly where I had seen him before. He was the blond boy who was watching me at my locker that Friday back at the beginning of September just right before Christian came up behind me.
"Oh," the boy said. "Hello."
"Hi," I said and held out my hand. He took it and I was instantly in love. His hand was plump and silky to the touch. We shook hands and held on longer than two people usually would.
I heard someone clear their throat in front of me and I looked up to see Cathy herself.
"Hi Kevin," she called out smiling. "You'll have to let go of his hand if you want him to order anything."
I blushed hard and our hands separated. The boy gave me the sweetest smile, then turned around to order.
After he and his mom ordered, I walked on legs that felt like rubber to the counter.
"Um, I, Uh," I was trying to stammer out my order. "Uh, I'''I'''I'''I'll have the, uh; I'll have what they're having."
Cathy was smirking as I stuttered and made myself look like the love-struck idiot that I obviously was being at that point. The boy and his mom were gone, but I could see them out of the corner of my eye and Cathy tapped the counter top to redirect my attention.
"Yeah," she said softly leaning towards me. "I know you're struck by the love bug, now give me my money."
She said this last part with mock severity. I laughed and handed over the money. Once I made my way to get a drink, I saw movement out of the corner of my left eye. It was the boy. He was walking quickly towards me.
"Slow down Cody," his mom called out smiling.
So Cody was his name. I remember thinking how cute of a name that was.
"Hi again," he said walking up to me and smiling that loving and innocent child-like smile. I turned towards him and he stepped closer.
"Hi," I said smiling and blushing harder this time. "By the way, I'm Kevin."
"I'm Cody," he replied. "I'm glad to meet you Kevin."
"I'm glad to meet you as well Cody," I said.
"My mom and I were wondering if you want to sit with us at our table," he said with a hopeful look in his eyes.
"I'd love that!" I replied happily.
Cody took my hand and we walked over to the table. His mom was looking at us and I knew she wanted to say something about my hand in Cody's, but since the other customers and Cathy were busy with other things and couldn't see it, she let it go and she actually smiled as we neared the table. Cody let go of my hand and he asked me which chair I wanted. I figured he'd like to look out the window since that's where our table was sitting and since it was a nice and sunny day that Friday. He thanked me and sat down by the window. I took the seat he had been sitting in a moment ago and I was sitting on his left.
"I'm Melissa," Cody's mom said holding out her hand. "I'm glad to meet you Kevin."
"It's nice to meet you too Melissa," I said shaking hands with her. "Have you guys ever eaten here before?"
"No," she said. "This is my first time and Cody's as well."
"I like this," Cody said. "I mean for this being my first time here!"
"I've been coming here since I was 15 and I've been enjoying it ever since," I explained.
We talked a little more. Cody asked me if I had any brothers or sisters and I told him about Alicia and Caleb.
"Caleb is 14," I said. "And Alicia is 16, like me. She was born a couple of months after me, so we're able to have the same age."
"Are you close with them?" Cody asked. "I sometimes hear of people who are close with their brothers and sisters and others who don't get along with theirs very much."
"I'm very close with Caleb and Alicia," I replied.
We had finished our food and I cleaned up my part of the table. I then saw Cody stand to walk with me to the trashcan. We disposed of our garbage, then Melissa went to do the same while Cody and I sat back down beside one another at the table. His mom came back and said that she'd be back and that she was going to the restroom for a moment. Cody and I were now left alone and I turned to him.
"I'm glad you and I got to introduce ourselves after all these days went by," I said.
"Me too," Cody said smiling. "Do you remember me watching you when you were at your locker that one Friday?"
"Yeah," I replied. "Were you afraid to say hi to me when I spoke to you?"
"Oh, yeah, sorry about that," he said looking somewhat embarrassed at that. "I just froze up. I can be shy and I don't get treated well by people at school, especially some of the boys. I wasn't sure if you'd be mean to me or not, so I just ran off and hoped I'd see you again."
"I can understand what you're saying," I said taking his hand. "I've felt that way myself sometimes and I just hope you can give me a chance to be your friend."
"I'd love that!" he said excitedly. "You really want to be friends with me?"
"Yeah," I replied. "More than anything."
"Cool!" he said happily and turned to throw his arms around me. I hugged him and watched to make sure no one was watching. No one was, they were all busy distracted by their snacks and coffee. We ended the hug after what seemed like forever and once I was turned facing Melissa's empty chair, I saw her walk out of the restroom and back to take her seat again.
"I should probably use the restroom too," Cody said and got up.
"Be careful in there," Melissa said as he began walking from the table.
"I will," he called back smiling.
It was just Melissa and I now and I saw her watching me closely. I sat back and hoped that I looked relaxed.
"I appreciate you guys inviting me to sit here with you," I said smiling.
"Thank you Kevin," she said smiling at me. "I'm glad you accepted our offer."
"Cody's really nice," I said.
"Yeah," she said. "He's the sweetest. I heard a bit of your conversation earlier and if you're really serious about being a friend to him, then I'm all for it."
"I definitely am Melissa," I said looking directly at her and hoping that my voice communicated the feelings of happiness I was feeling.
"It's just been really hard for him to make friends," she said looking down at the table for a moment, then back up at me. "Other boys have been horrible to him because he doesn't see the world as most of us do. He wants to just love everyone and have them love him. Honestly, he's 16, but as you've probably started to find out, he's got the emotions and mind of someone who's probably 11 or 12 years old."
"I know he's child-like," I said. "I don't have a problem with that at all though and you have my word Melissa. You have my word that I'll never do anything to hurt him or to make fun of him. I know what you're getting at and I know what you're trying to tell me. Cody is safe with me."
"I'm glad to hear you say that Kevin," she replied. "Oh, I hope you won't take this wrong."
"What?" I asked. She stopped and seemed to be choosing her words carefully. Then she leaned closer to me and lowered her voice.
"Kevin," she began. "I want to say up front that I don't have a problem with two boys or two men holding hands and you guys are safe in here, at least in so far as Cathy or her husband is around and the customers didn't see, but I hope you'll be more careful and look around when you and Cody are in other areas of town before you hold hands like that again. I don't want to seem like I'm talking to you like you don't know anything about life, but I want to make sure you guys are safe."
"I understand," I said. "I'll let Cody know when it is and when it isn't safe to do that in public."
"Thanks Kevin," she said grabbing my hand and holding it for a moment. "I appreciate that very much."
"I'm glad," I replied. "It's no trouble at all."
Cody returned and we all three got up to leave. I said goodbye to Cathy and she said goodbye to me, as well as Cody and Melissa. We walked towards the door and exited the shop. We walked until we were at Melissa's car.
"Well, it was nice meeting you Kevin," Melissa said again. She looked like she wanted to hug me and I reached out. She hugged me for a moment and I hugged back.
"I'm so happy we all were able to meet also," I answered. "So you guys are going home now?"
"Yeah," she said. "I have to get the house cleaned, then dinner for Cody and I. I know Cody will want to have some time in his room to relax when we get home."
"Yeah," Cody said stepping closer to me. "I have a nice room. It's really big and has windows that are from the floor to the ceiling! It lets in lots of sunlight when I have the drapes opened in the daytime; would you like to see it?"
"I'd love to," I began. "But I actually have some cleaning up of my room to do once I get back to the house. My parents didn't need me to do it right when I got home from school today, but they want it done soon."
"Oh," Cody said and a look of sadness came over his face for a moment. He looked up and the look was replaced with a hopeful smile. "Hey, maybe you can come over tomorrow, if it's okay with my mom and your parents. You can see my room then!"
I smiled at his enthusiasm.
"I'll definitely check," I said smiling. I took out a note pad and a pencil and wrote my cell number down. I handed it to him and he turned to his mom.
"I can't read that well," Cody said lowering his head.
"I understand," I said. "It's no problem."
I handed the note to Melissa and she took it. She then took out a notebook of her own and wrote what I was hoping would be their number on a piece of paper for me. She finished writing and handed the page to me. Sure enough, it was their phone number, Cody's cell number and their home address.
"Thanks!" I said smiling widely.
"You're welcome," she said.
"Thanks for writing our numbers down for him mom," Cody said and hugged Melissa.
"You're welcome sweetie," she said. They ended the hug and Cody looked back at his mom and held out his arms to me. The look on his face was basically him asking his mom for permission to hug me.
"It's okay with me," I said. "There's no one around."
"Okay," Melissa said smiling.
Cody and I embraced for what seemed like forever, then we separated.
"Bye for now my best friend," Cody said looking deeply in to my eyes.
"Bye Cody," I said looking just as deeply in to his eyes. "I'll call you later this evening and let you know what's going on for tomorrow."
"That sounds really good!" he said smiling.
"Definitely," I agreed.
They got in the car and after driving away and waving at me and me waving back at them, I watched them go. Once out of my field of vision, I put my hand down and was immediately missing Cody. I wished for him to be by my side again, his hand in mine and his arms around me. Just then, I heard the door open and close behind me.
I somehow knew that it would be Cathy. She knew me very well and there were several times when it would just be her and I in the restaurant where I'd talk to her about things that I normally didn't discuss with anyone else, my family knew about those same private things, but no friends knew. As a result, Cathy came to know by me telling it a few months ago what had happened to me when I was 13 and how I had problems with coping with it when I wasn't telling anyone what was going on. Cathy was basically a second mother to me and she was wonderful.
I heard Cathy step up beside me and put an arm around my shoulders.
"Just take it slow with him," she said softly to me. "No, I don't think he's another Richie who would hurt you like that again by any means. It's just that if you start having problems with coping with the memories of what had happened, how would Cody be able to deal with that if you guys become more than friends?"
"I know," I said looking at her. "I'll just have to take it one moment at a time. I want him as my friend first and for-most though."
"I know, I completely understand," she said and we hugged. "I have a good feeling that when it's all said and done, you'll do right by Cody."
"I'll do all that I can," I replied.
We said goodbye and I left and once walking for a couple of blocks, I sat down on a bench in the park for a few minutes. I remembered when Cathy brought up Richie's name. Richie was the one who hurt me back a few years ago. Even that name still gives me an uneasy feeling, deep down in my soul.
0000
Richie was 15 at the time and I was 13. Richie was tall, had muscles that would make most sports players blush and he stood about 6-4 and was around 190 LBs. He had fiery-red hair and dark-green eyes and he definitely had the charm of any natural-born psychopath, but I didn't know that when we first met.
We met at school one day in December of 2011, a month before I turned 13, When school was letting out. He had a locker beside mine and he introduced himself to me. It was on a Monday afternoon. We became friends, or so I thought. I was friends with a few guys and girls who were extremely close friends with Richie and he seemed like he was always holding them in a spell. They agreed with mostly anything and everything he said and they were little more than followers. I guess I was taken in by his dangerous charm as well.
It was a couple of days after I turned 13 in January of 2012 when he and I were alone in his bedroom and his parents were gone for the afternoon at work. He began to put his hand on my upper thigh.
I was still getting used to the fact that I was attracted to guys. I knew from an early age from things that my grandparents on both my mom and dad's side of the family said, that they didn't agree with people who are gay. There was one time when I was nine and we were all at a family get-together and both sets of grandparents were there and they all four began talking about how evil GLBT people are. My parents said nothing the whole time and quickly took Alecia, Caleb and I and left to go back home. In my young mind at the time, I was worried that with my parents not saying anything, that it was because they either secretly agreed with my grandparents or they just didn't want to deal with the whole topic.
That all being said, I remembered that gathering all the rest of my preteen years. I also knew that since that day, we never had nor do we go back to visit either side of my mom and dad's family. When I was beginning to understand my homosexuality, I was afraid that if my parents found out about me, that they'd get angry with me and decide that I was the reason that they had to stay away from both sets of grandparents. So when it became clear to me around 13 that I liked guys, I was set on staying in the closet and if I had any sexual encounters with other boys, then I wouldn't tell anyone.
So on this particular afternoon in Richie's room, he was rubbing my inner thigh and it was sending feelings through me that felt good, but that were scaring me at the same time. I didn't like how he seemed to be acting as if I was his play toy or something.
That's how it would continue for the next couple of months, Richie would get me alone at his house and he started out our visits with masturbating me until I would come and he'd order me to do the same. First he'd use a mean look to make me afraid, then he began threatening to out me at school and to my family.
It would be worse when he would kiss me. His breath wasn't bad, but his kisses were rough and seemed more controlling than loving. He eventually pushed me in to giving him blow jobs and he'd do the same, but he'd hardly ever keep his teeth out of the way.
As all of this was going on, I was beginning to withdraw from my parents and from Alicia and Caleb. They both noticed the change and would try to ask me about it, but I'd tell them to leave me alone.
My attitude became increasingly cold and I would yell at my mom and dad, something I would never do before. I would even raise my voice at Caleb and Alicia which at first made them angry, but then scared them.
After I'd act out to either my parents or siblings, I'd run to my room and slam the door. I was out of control at that point and didn't really know it. I at times wanted to tell my family what Richie was doing to me, but his threats were constant and becoming more dark as the days and weeks progressed. Then in the Summer of 2012, Richie started taking me to an abandoned building and ordering me to suck him off. When I said before that he'd make me give him blow jobs, it was little more than him slamming his erection in and out of my mouth to the point that my jaw would hurt. A couple of times, the first of these was the first time he took me to the abandoned building, he slammed his erection in to the back of my throat so violently that I gagged and began to vomit.
"Fucking sissy queer boy," Richie said laughing. He pulled his erection out of my mouth and pulled me up by my shoulders.
"Richie!" I yelled. "You're hurting me!"
That was the other thing, he'd slap me around when he wouldn't get from me what he wanted. Of course he'd hit me on parts of my body that no one would see, like my back and sides.
Richie beat me a couple of times and then grabbed me by the hair.
"You're going to finish me off you fucking slut!" he yelled in my face.
He shoved his erection back in my mouth and the smell of him mixed with my expelled stomach contents was enough to make me want to vomit again, but I kept it down somehow.
That night I returned home and this is one of the memories that will always haunt me. Caleb walked up to me once I got home. There was no fear of him smelling anything, since I chewed a hand-full of mints before walking home from the building.
Once I walked through the door, Caleb, then 11 walked to where I was and was telling me that I needed to get the living room straightened up since I hadn't done it yet that day.
"I'll get it later!" I said annoyed at what Caleb was telling me. "Can't you do it?"
"Aww, man! Kevin!" Caleb said almost in a wine that quickly enraged me. "I did it a couple of days ago, and you know what mom and dad say about how each of us should take turns doing house work from time to time, like every few days."
I suddenly saw red, and rage like nothing I've ever known over-took me and I reached out and grabbed Caleb. I slapped him a couple of times across the face and pulled him to me. I shoved him up against the wall and held him pressed against it as my rage raced through me like a deadly fever.
"Kevin!" he screamed in fear. "Pleas, let me go! Please, don't hurt me!"
"You shut the fuck up right now you little blind freak!" I roared in his face.
"Kevin!" I heard a voice behind me yell. I knew instantly that it was my father. "You let him go now!"
The rage was gone and I let Caleb go. He was sobbing, but somehow I knew that it was hardly tears and sobs of pain, but that it had far more to do with what I had said to him. I truly didn't think I had it in me to do what I did to him, much less say what I had said to him.
The memory of Richie's threats came back to me and I hardened myself again, but tried to stay calm.
"I can't believe you said that to your brother!" my dad said. He was trying not to yell, but quickly losing the battle. "Apologize to him right now Kevin!"
"He needs to learn not to piss me off!" I yelled at my dad.
"Kevin!" he said and put a hand on my shoulder. "That's enough! Stop, right now!"
Seeing red again, I struck out at my dad. Deep animalistic fear seized me and when I looked at my dad's face, or tried to look at it through the blood-red fog, I saw Richie's psychotic look. I struck out and the fog cleared and my dad was bent over on the floor with his hands to his nose.
"My god Kevin!" he yelled still trying to get the bleeding to stop. "What's happening to you!"
"You all just fucking leave me alone!" I screamed to the top of my voice. I ran to my room and slammed the door.
Author's Notes
I'm sure this side of Kevin isn't pleasant to read. It's not the most fun parts to write, but that's just how it goes. I hope everyone is enjoying the story and I'll see everyone in Chapter Six.