a Safe Place By James
Disclaimer
This story deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between teenaged males. Should you not be of the legal age to read such material or if you're offended by such stories, then please find something else to read.
For anyone wanting to give thoughts on the story or anything, I can be reached at vector18@msn.com Flames will be absolutely ignored.
Finally, please remember to donate to Nifty, as it keeps these stories and other materials on the site free to the public.
Introduction
Within the last chapter, you saw where Caleb was concerned, the reality of how the blind are dealt with in our society. The professionals who work with the blind are utopians for the most part who believe that abuse is permissible maybe even acceptable in order that the blind and visually impaired maybe educated to be independent.
In an "Ayn Rand" like fashion, we're taught that unless we rely on ourselves, then we'll be crippled by the help of society and they say this as if it's inherent within our nature to become dependent on others to our detriment just because one person tells us in what corner of the room a trashcan sits. Seriously, that's how hardcore these people are and the blind people who have positions of authority to teach fellow blind people are as bad if not worse. What drives this is ultimately something I've discussed many times in these stories, utopian ideals. That is, the belief that if we can make perfectly independent the blindness community, that the need for help will disappear and with it, the problems facing the blindness community.
This idea ignores the need for compassion, the interconnectedness of everyone in the country and in the world. It ignores the reality that our lives operate in cycles in which we have times of plenty then times in which we need help. Most of all though, this ideal when put in to practice, makes it necessary and maybe even enjoyable to be cruel to our fellow human beings. This is just one more manifestation of utopianism we must fight.
James: January: 2016
Chapter 25
Caleb
I lay with Nathan holding me as I rested my head on his chest. I called and after his mom put him on the phone that cold and dark Sunday night, I told him that we needed to talk. At first, he was emotionless, but after I told him that I wanted and needed to apologize to him, he agreed to see me. My parents then got on with Amy and said that I wouldn't be going to school the next day due to my approaching eye appointment. After she asked them to hold on for a moment, she spoke quietly with Nathan and after she had them put her and Nathan on speaker phone, they asked my parents and I if I could spend that night with him so we could start working things out. Nathan had an appointment of his own the next day for his legs, so it wasn't being considered a school night, especially for the fact that our appointments were in the same hospital, but at 03:00 in the afternoon so we had some time to sleep in. Once we all agreed, I said goodbye to my brother and sister as my parents walked with me to the car.
0000
Once at Nathan's house, I greeted Amy and I felt nervous at first. I wasn't sure if she'd slap me and tell me what a "Son of a Bitch" I had been to her son and couldn't I see that all he ever wanted to do was to love me as a friend, then as more than that and how could I be so hateful. That's not what happened though. What did happen, was my parents said goodbye to her and Nathan then to me and once they left, I began losing control of my emotions. Amy held me and Nathan wheeled close to us and had an arm around my shoulders as best as he could.
"I'''I'''I'''I'm s'''s'''s''s'''," I was crying too hard to say anything.
"You don't have to say anything right now," Amy said softly and I didn't hear any anger or hate in her voice.
I only heard love, and sadness, love for the person I was trying to be and usually was, and sadness for who I was becoming.
"We'll figure all this out," Nathan said and kissed the side of my head.
Once I stopped crying, I looked up at Amy. I then looked to the side in Nathan's direction.
"I really am sorry for how I've acted to you Nathan," I began. "I'm also sorry for how I treated you Amy. I mean, how I treated you just by you watching what Nathan was going through because of my behavior towards him. I know that you just wanted to be a friend to me and love me as a friend, then as more once we began getting to know one another."
I said all of this last part once I turned to Nathan. He hugged me and kissed my cheek before replying.
"When you spoke sharply to me those times you did," he began. "That definitely hurt, but it hurt me even more when you screamed at me a few days ago. Most of all though, it was what I felt was behind your words and how you were acting towards me. I felt like you didn't want me anymore and that you thought that I was meaningless to you."
He was crying now and I began crying again myself. He tightened his hold on me and I held him close and we let out our mutual feelings. Though I was preoccupied with mine and Nathan's feelings and getting them out, I managed to hear Amy walk out of the room and down the hall. >From where her footsteps were leading, I knew that she was going to her room. She understood that at this moment, this was time for just Nathan and I to either end things or fix things with the promise that I'd do right by him even better than before.
After Nathan stopped crying, and after my own tears were under control, we dried our eyes and he had me hold on to the back of his chair and we went to his room and we got on the bed and lay down wrapping our arms around one another which was how we still were now.
0000
After a few minutes of silence, I said how I really had been feeling and it was for some reason much harder than I thought it would be.
"I know it seems like my behavior I directed at you was about you," I began. "But it really wasn't though. I truly felt like I wasn't deserving of your love or compassion unless I could be perfect in every way."
"Caleb, that's crap," he interjected.
"I know it is," I replied and began rubbing his back softly. "Deep down I knew it was, but I couldn't get those thoughts out of my head. Sometimes when I was a little younger, I'd have fears of what if I couldn't be independent in the outside world once I became an adult and what if I wouldn't ever find anyone who would or who could even try to look past my visual problems and see who I really am. I was afraid sometimes, that I wouldn't be good enough for anyone, especially for someone who might become my boyfriend. Those fears began to get less and less, but I think that after going through what I went through with that Bitch a few days ago and for the past couple of weeks, those fears got brought up to the surface again. Mostly though, I was afraid off and on deep down while you and I have been together that someday, you'd leave me because you might get tired of having a friend and a boyfriend who can't see anything."
I was crying again and he was holding me as best as he could and he was stroking the side of my head while I rested it on his chest.
"None of that is true," he said with his voice thick with emotion. "You're not less than a person just because you can't see. You've shown me and others compassion and love as well as kindness when you could have went off and lived life in the underground and you could have stayed pissed at the world and allowed yourself to hate everyone in life. You didn't do that though. You really have taught me more about life in the few months that we've known one another and I'll never forget that. I wouldn't ever leave you because of your visual impairment."
He said this again and held me tighter for a moment.
"I guess I'm just really scared more than I thought I was right now," I said. "Just from that teacher and the fears that were brought back up, then I have my Glaucoma acting up and I'm really worried about what the doctor might say tomorrow."
"If it's bad news," Nathan responded. "I'll be here for you. I promise. Also, I accept your apology and I'm proud of you for how you've owned up to everything."
"Thanks," I said as I dried my eyes.
"So unless you tell me and look me in the eye while doing it, that you don't want to be my boyfriend anymore," he said. "Then as far as I'm concerned, you're not getting rid of me that easily."
"I still love you," I said looking deeply in to his eyes. "I can't even say in words just how much I love you and how my love for you has gotten deeper just in the past couple of hours we talked."
"My love has gotten deeper for you as well my sweetheart," he said.
We kissed softly, then deeply for a few minutes, then I broke the kiss and just rested my head on his chest listening to his breathing and the beat of his heart which was slow now. Soon though, I moved from out of his arms and sat up then looked down at him.
"I need to go talk to your mom now," I said then leaned down and kissed him lightly on his lips. "I wouldn't feel right if I left that part unresolved for one more second."
"Okay," he said and kissed my cheek. "I'll be here."
"Sounds good," I replied, then got up and walked out of his room closing the door before going to Amy's room.
I knocked on Amy's bedroom door and she said for me to come in once I said who it was. I opened the door and walked in and over to one of the chairs which was one that was sitting beside the one she was sitting in. She closed a book she had been reading and I turned to face her.
"I want to apologize to you as well," I began.
After telling her what I had told to Nathan, she hugged me and just held me for a moment, then stroked my hair.
"I want to say first," she began. "That you don't have to always be the one in control, nor do you have to be a super hero. I've seen how some of these visually impaired people can be, the ones who are self-sustaining, or who call themselves that. They can be really mean and definitely nasty, and all in the name of independence. They use this as a reason to treat others bad. Sure, they don't truly mean to do bad things to others, but when you think you're right beyond any risks of making any mistakes, then it's a question of how far you'll go for what you believe to be right or to be the truth."
And I was starting to act just like them," I said softly.
"You were showing some of those behaviors," she agreed and put an arm around me. "But I don't think you were wanting to do anything bad, you just wanted to do what was being asked of you by a woman who clearly had no morals, or at least they were morals that I want no part of. She's also a woman who clearly had no problem exploiting your vulnerabilities."
"I can see that now," I answered.
"All of that being said," she continued. "I accept your apology and I know that going forward, you'll do everything you can to be as good of a friend and boyfriend to my son that he could ask for."
"I will," I said looking in to her eyes. "I promise, I really do."
"I know you do," she said and we hugged for a long time, then separated.
We then said goodnight to one another, then I called my parents and spoke with them, then with Alicia and Kevin and I let them all know that everything was worked out, then I got in bed with Nathan after taking a shower.
Once in bed, Nathan moved and he leaned over me and began massaging my shoulders once he had me turn over on my stomach. He continued this for a long time, then moved his massaging from my shoulders down my back and he kept this up until he was at my lower back, then he stopped.
He moved down and at my upper thighs, he began massaging them until he got to the end and he started on my legs, then he did the same for my feet which felt really good. Soon I was falling asleep and he was lying back down and he put his arms around me.
"I love you with all of my heart Caleb," he said, then kissed my cheek lovingly. "I really do. More than you'll ever know."
"I love you too, more than anything," I replied as I finally drifted off to sleep.
The next day was cold and snow was falling hard and fast. I felt like the weather was an omen and even though I didn't believe in that kind of thing, my mind was more emotional that day than it had been in a while.
We got to the clinic and after a small wait, I was back in the doctor's office. He came in and checked my eyes and the pressure in my eyes. Once finished, he set down his devices and waited for a moment.
"Well, as I said when I gave the pressure readings, in both eyes, your pressure is 50," he began. "I've seen it higher in people who have this condition, and at times even as high as 80."
"So what happens now?" I asked.
"We have you on the strongest drops we have and there is a pill we can try," he said. "Unfortunately, the pill has as one of its side-effects, the ability to cause numbness in your fingers. Given that you're primarily a braille reader in school, I don't think this would be realistic for one thing. Secondly, it could go in to your blood stream and begin causing problems there."
"There's no small dosage of the pill you can give me?" I asked and felt my heart beating harder now.
I knew where this was going and didn't want to hear it.
"No," he said. "There's also no other drops we could try that aren't experimental and I just don't feel comfortable taking that kind of risk."
"So what now?" I asked.
"Well, as you know from us talking over the years, surgery is one option," he said. "I know this isn't what you want to go with, but unfortunately we don't have much choice in this case. Your pressure is at 50 and probably getting higher as we speak."
"What kind of surgery do you want to try?" I asked.
"Given that lazar surgery might not give optimal results," he began. "And given that the surgery where we cut a flap in the eyeball and let it heal, might fail since the cut might just heal itself which would mean us going back in, I think the only option is to implant the artificial drainage tube that I've mentioned before. I would be inserting one in each eye since the pressure is high in both. Also, this is more of an invasive procedure given all that it entails and also the fact that we would be introducing in to your system, a foreign body. After the surgery, you won't be allowed to move except for walking to the bathroom for at least two, maybe even three weeks until the tubes have a chance to settle and stay immobile."
I looked up and ran to my mom and dad. I threw my arms around them and began sobbing.
"No!" I yelled losing it. "Mom, Dad, I can't do this! I can't!"
"It's okay," my mom said. "We're here for you."
"We'll be here by your side," my dad added. "So will Nathan, Alicia and Kevin as well as Cody. You won't have to go through this alone. We promise you that."
Later that night, I lay with Nathan in bed. He had met up with me once I called after leaving the doctor's examining room. I told him that my parents and I would be in the cafeteria and would wait for him and his mom there. He met up with us and we went back to my house where I told him the story of what had happened.
"When does he want to do the surgery?" Nathan asked once we sat down on my bed.
"A week from today," I said as Nathan held me and I cried for a second time.
"Well, I want you to know that I'll be here for you and that goes for your parents, Alicia, Kevin and Cody," he answered and then moved us so that we were lying full-length on the bed with his arms wrapped around me as I finished crying and then dried my tears.
After a few hours of lying there and talking while holding one another, Nathan's mom came to get him to go home. Somehow I got to sleep that night and for the rest of that week, I did my usual tasks and schoolwork, and for that weekend, I stayed at Nathan's and we talked and made love several times which we made a point to enjoy, since we wouldn't be able to do it for the next few weeks. Most of all though, I was trying not to think about Monday and what would happen.
0000
Kevin
Friday of that weekend leading up to Caleb's surgery was cold and snowy. I looked out the window in Cody's room and smiled at the snow. It was beautiful and I truly loved that time of year. I was distracted suddenly when I felt Cody wrap his arms around me from behind and rest his cheek against mine for a moment, then he kissed the back of my neck. I turned and wrapped my arms around him and pressed my lips to his tenderly, then just looked deeply in to his eyes while I held him against me.
"The snow looks really pretty doesn't it?" he said.
"Definitely," I replied. "You look really beautiful as well."
I kissed him deeply, then moved my tongue against his lips. He instantly opened his mouth and I plunged my tongue in to his mouth and tasted the warm sweetness I loved so much and couldn't get enough of.
After a few minutes of making out, Cody broke the kiss and moved out of my embrace, then held out his hand to me. I took it and he guided me over to the bed and helped me lay down. He lay down beside me and I turned to face him and he began kissing me once again. I knew what he wanted and I was more than ready to make love to him, or have him do the same to me. We were clothed in just t-shirts and boxers since we had gotten our showers a couple of hours before, so there wasn't much to remove and we had helped each other off with our clothes quickly and I was admiring Cody's silky-smooth body and he was doing the same with me.
After a few minutes of deep steamy kissing, I broke it and looked deeply in to Cody's eyes. He looked back and I stroked his hair for a moment as he did the same to me.
"I love you more than anything in this whole world," I said softly. "You're truly the love of my life and you truly do complete me in every way Cody."
"You do the same for me too Kevvy," he replied. "You make me more happy than I can say in words and every time I think of you, it brings a smile to my face and it brightens up my day a lot."
"That's how it is for me as well," I said and we kissed again, before he moved me so that I was on my back.
"I'm going to show you how much I love you now," he said, then kissed me deep and long.
After a few minutes of licking and sucking on my nipples, he licked down my chest and stomach until he got to my cock. He massaged it with his lips and licked all over the head, then moved off and began lightly sucking on my balls, then he got more hungry for them and began sucking on them a little harder, then he bathed them with his tongue before licking from them back up to my shaft where he licked up and down from the head to the base of it on every side before going down on it and sucking up and down with long movements of his sweet warm mouth.
"Yeah Cody!" I yelled. "That feels so good! You're so amazing!"
He got faster and harder and my feelings were growing stronger and stronger as he continued to love my cock. I was lightly thrusting my hips up and down and he seemed to like that. Soon though, I felt my impending orgasm coming upon me. I began moaning louder and louder, then as he began deepthroating me, I felt my balls begin to tingle, and my cock get harder and harder.
"Oh fuck Cody!" I screamed. "I'm gonna fucking come! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg!"
I exploded in his mouth blasting hot and thick ropes of hot creamy cum in to his sucking sweet mouth. He swallowed all of them as I came and I remembered coming harder that night than before. I must have needed it.
After he cleaned my cock up, I made love to him slowly and just enjoyed the heat, musky smell and taste of his cock and balls. I moved up and down on him with my mouth before moving off and sucking and bathing his balls, then taking my tongue and licking up and down the entire length of his shaft before going down on his cock until I was deepthroating him once again. I kept sucking until I felt him grab a couple of hand-fulls of my hair and hold on tight.
"Kevvy!" he yelled. "It's coming! I'm going to squirt really hard!"
He let out a loud moan, then a loud scream and let loose with several powerful jets of thick and creamy cum which I swallowed and I enjoyed every drop. After he came, I cleaned him off and milked him for a moment getting every last wonderful drop of his cream like he had done to me a few minutes before.
After we kissed several times when I moved back up beside him, I moved so I could get the covers which I pulled over both of us and I took him in my arms again and he draped himself across me like he did when we slept.
"You're amazing," I said after we finished a deep and long kiss. "I love you Cody."
"I love you too Kevvy," he said softly. "I think you're amazing also. I really do."
He rested his head on my chest and I held him as he drifted off to sleep. I lay there awake for several minutes just thinking about him and the fact that I never could express in words just how much I loved him and just how much he meant to me, but I think deep down, he knew it. With that thought, I felt my eyelids grow heavy, then I drifted slowly but steadily towards sleep, then I was asleep and deeply.
0000
Caleb
Monday came upon us cold, snowy and windy with a biting chill to the air. I woke up in Nathan's arms and I wished that it was the day before. I was afraid and I tried to keep the fear away as I got up and gently woke my lover.
He was going to be there at the hospital with me that day and after we talked to Eric a few days before, it was agreed that he would bring Nathan's school assignments and homework to him at my house that night. Nathan and I along with Amy and my parents talked that Friday and we agreed that Nathan could take Monday and Tuesday of that week off to be with me provided he promised to go back to school starting Wednesday. He agreed, but I sensed the reluctance in his voice. I knew he wanted to stay with me every day until I was completely recovered and I felt the same way, but I wouldn't feel right if he did that and kept himself from doing the other things in life he needed to do.
After Nathan and I showered, I got the preoperative antibiotic eyedrops in both eyes along with the normal treatment drops then we were ready to go.
I lay in the hospital bed which was less than comfortable and was dressed in the usual hospital rag that tied up in the back, but fortunately they gave me a thin robe but luckily, it was designed to be put on the regular way so at least at that point for now, I was covered and had a little dignity.
They had given me a couple of pills after I got in bed to relax me, and while I was more tired now, I still was afraid and the only thing that kept me from having a melt-down, was my family and also having Nathan holding my hand. I don't know how I could have gotten through all that without all of them there.
A little while after the pills began working, my parents left to get something to drink and while they were gone, Kevin and Alicia got up to take a restroom break which left just Nathan and I.
"I really can't wait to get this over," I said turning to him.
"I know you're ready to have this over," he replied and kissed the side of my hand.
"I really love you," I said. "Thanks for being here with me today. I don't think I could have done this without you here with me, as well as my parents and siblings being here."
"I'm glad I'm able to be here with you too," he responded.
A few minutes after my parents, brother and sister returned to the room, they came for me. I said goodbye to Nathan and we told one another that we loved one another, and after doing the same with my brother, sister and parents minus the types of kiss Nathan and I would give to one another, I was on my way to get everything done.
Author's Notes
I'll continue this storyline through Chapter 26, then it'll be on to more lighter and enjoyable things. I'm basically using this as a way to not only test Caleb and Nathan's love, but to strengthen it even more.
So everyone have a good evening, and I'll see you all in Chapter 26.