A Safe Place

a Safe Place By James

Disclaimer

This story deals with sexual as well as romantic situations between teenaged males. Should you not be of the legal age to read this type of story and if you're offended by such material, then please find something else to read. Also remember to donate to Nifty so that these stories can remain free to the public.

Caleb

The next morning, we all got up and I called Greyson and Daniel's school to let them know that the boys wouldn't be there that day. Once finished with the call, Nathan and Daniel went out to the car and got it warmed up. I put on my coat and after exiting the house and locking it up, I got in the car and we drove off.

Once at the hospital, we waited and eventually Dr. Michaels came out. He took us back to Greyson's hospital room and we sat with him for a bit and waited for everything to begin. He hugged the three of us and lay back in the bed.

"Did you get much sleep last night?" I asked.

"Not much," he said. "The bed isn't too comfortable and it didn't help with the nurses coming in and out all night."

"I'm sure it wasn't comfortable either," I agreed.

"I missed you guys last night," he said.

"So did we," I replied.

"It wasn't the same with you here and me alone in the room last night," Daniel said and hugged his brother.

"Yeah, it was definitely different," Nathan added.

"I'll just be glad when this is all done," Greyson said turning to me.

Daniel and Nathan went out for a few minutes to get something to drink and it was just Greyson and I in the room. A long silence settled over us for a few minutes, then I broke it.

"Are you looking forward to coming home soon after this is finished?" I asked taking his hand again.

"Yeah," he replied.

"We'll get you back home and once you feel up to it, or whenever the doctor says it's alright, we'll start going out to finish Christmas shopping."

"I'd like that," he said as his voice began quavering. "What if I have something more serious though?"

He began crying and I held him close. He was sobbing hard and I felt helplessness drop upon me like nothing I had ever known before and I did the best I could to get through it and focus on Greyson.

"If something should happen," I began. "If you don't make it, Daniel will be alright, maybe not at first, but he's going to have Nathan and I by his side watching over him. We'll help him through grieving for you. We'll help him grow up and we'll help him do the best he can to have a happy life and to help him always remember you. For now though, we're going to focus on what's going on right now. If we can't do it a day at a time, then we'll do it one hour at a time. If we can't do it for an hour, then one minute at a time. If that doesn't work, then we'll just get through each second as it comes."

"I've never been this scared," he said. "I know I haven't been a good person most of my life and I wasn't nice to you and Nathan in the beginning, but I just wanted a chance to change and be better. Now I might not have that chance and there's so much I want to be able to do with my life."

"I know you do," I said. "Even though you did things that we all agree that kids and adults shouldn't do like taking food and stuff like that, that was hardly your fault. It wasn't your fault that people who could have checked on you and Daniel and who could have probably prevented most if not all of what you guys were put through stood by and did nothing. As for how you were when you and Daniel first came to live with us, you didn't know really any other way and what you might have known as another way to be, probably felt scary to think about. You stayed with what you knew at the time and that's just how things like that go when people don't step in and help kids who are in situations like what you and Daniel had to endure. You're the greatest son aside from Daniel that Nathan and I could have ever asked for and I don't regret one second of the time Nathan or I have had with you and Daniel. I love you Greyson and I want you to always remember that."

"I love you too dad," he said hugging me tightly. "I love you so much."

It was a little after 7:00 in the morning now and they came for Greyson a few minutes after Nathan and Daniel came back to the room. They took him back and it was just my husband and Daniel by my side now. Now the waiting and the fear coupled with hope had begun.

Kevin and Cody arrived a little while later. It took them a little while to get there since Kevin had to make a mad dash for someone to cover for him and Cody had to make a couple of calls of his own. They just missed Greyson leaving and they got there about 10 minutes after he was wheeled back to the O.R.. I hugged both Kevin and Cody and they sat on my right while Nathan was parked on my left next to me.

"Thanks for coming," I said.

"You're welcome," Kevin said. "There's no need to thank us though. We're glad to be here."

"Yeah, we're happy we can be here to help and just be there for you guys while this is going on," Cody added.

"I'm glad," I said.

"It's definitely good to see you both," Nathan said. "Hopefully you guys will get to visit with Greyson once he's awake depending on how he feels after the surgery."

"I'd like that," Cody said. "I just hope he's not in much pain after the surgery though."

"So do I," Kevin added.

"Yeah, let's hope so," I responded.

The surgery ended after a couple of hours and it was now 10:00 in the morning. Dr. Michaels came out a couple minutes later and I introduced him to Kevin and Cody. He shook hands with both of them and we all went to the meeting room we used the night before. Once seated, he began talking.

"I got it all out and I was able to get the small cluster of blood vessels that were supplying the mass," he said. "Now, we just need to wait for Pathology to get back to us as to whether or not it's cancer. It wasn't too big and it seems to be a primary tumor. In other words, it doesn't look like it's a tumor that spread to his brain from someplace else. Also, I wanted to get it all out, rather than take out one small piece for the simple fact that I didn't want to take a chance on it doing any further damage or damaging any of the structures close to it while waiting for Pathology to do their thing."

"I'm confused," Cody said.

"In other words," I began. "Some tumors begin in the lungs as stuff like lung cancer and if they don't find it in the lungs first or don't think to look there and if they find the tumor in the brain first, and other tests show that the tumor in the brain is one of many, then once they find the lung cancer then they know that it has spread to the brain. Dr. Michaels is saying that he doesn't think it's a tumor in the brain which spread from any other place in the body. It's just one tumor in the brain and if it's not cancer, then he got rid of all of it."

"I hope so," Cody said.

"So do we," I said.

"I put a rush on his tests, so we'll either know later today or as soon as tomorrow," Dr. Michaels said. "For now though, I'm sure he'd like to see you guys."

Once in Greyson's room, Nathan and I visited with him for a few minutes, then we let Daniel stay with him for a couple of minutes. Cody and Kevin went in and asked him if he was in any pain and they sat and each held one of his hands for a while, then he was asleep again.

Throughout the day, we waited and while Daniel slept on the cot in Greyson's hospital room, I sat with Kevin while Nathan and Cody were having something to eat in the cafeteria. Kevin sat on my right and his arm was around me which was what I needed at that point.

"Since it's just you and I," Kevin began. "How are you doing, really?"

"I'm so fucking scared," I said breaking down once again. I couldn't talk even though I was trying to, but Kevin took me in his arms.

"You don't have to say anything right now," he said. "I'm scared for you guys as well as for Greyson. Whatever happens, I'll be here for you no matter what."

Eventually, I got my crying under control and dried my eyes. I hugged Kevin, then we ended the hug.

"He's so young and he deserves to have a chance at having the rest of his life be happy and joyful," I said. "Before they took him to surgery, he told me that he was sorry for how he was towards Nathan and I when we first took him and Daniel in to our home. He also said that he was sorry for how he acted before coming to live with us."

"You mean about steeling food?" Kevin asked.

"That and probably more," I said. "I think he might have been trying to apologize for what he was put through sexually by that shitbag he and Daniel were staying with for a while."

"You think he blames himself for having been raped?" he asked.

"It seems that way," I replied. "I just felt like there was more he wanted to say."

"Once he starts feeling better," Kevin began. "You might want to consider having him see Michael."

Yeah," I responded. "That's a good idea. We had him in counseling for a bit, but we should probably get him back in it again."

Nathan and Cody returned and we hugged both of them. We talked for a bit, then I excused myself to go down to the hospital chapel.

The room was quiet and I could smell scented candles burning. I sat there not moving for several minutes, then I spoke.

"Most people question why you let this kind of thing happen to us. Most wonder if you let something like this happen to teach a lesson to the people going through it. Others think you actually make this happen out of revenge. I don't know why things like this happen. Yeah, I know what a tumor is and I know that something went wrong in Greyson's body to cause it to happen, but I don't blame you. I obviously don't believe in you in the way most people do, but I have that flash of insight from you right now. That flash of insight that's telling me that for whatever reason, Greyson was put in my life and was meant to be put in my life so that I as well as Nathan could take care of both him and Daniel.

In the beginning, I was scared. I didn't know if I would be a good father to him and his brother. I was afraid that I'd yell at him and badly for any of the mistakes he might make while living with us. I was afraid that he wouldn't ever accept Nathan or I as his parents. I think most of all though, I was just afraid that I'd fail him somehow, and in some way. I was afraid that my abilities as a man and as a father in the end, wouldn't be enough. I'm finding out now that my fears were groundless. Greyson and I have connected over time, but I especially felt it when he talked with me last Thursday evening when he got out of bed for a few minutes. I felt in that moment in time, the deepest sense of love and caring for him and I felt that same sense from him towards me as well. It was you wasn't it? You helped us both get through the last of our fears, his fears that held him back and my fears which could have easily held me back from being the man and father I needed, that I need to be.

Thank you God. Thank you for helping us. I just want to ask that you give us further wisdom and insight to be there for one another should the worst happen. I ask that if it comes back as cancer, that you please give the doctors the deep flashes of insight and wisdom so that they can help Greyson through this and whatever time he has left can be happy in some way. In Jesus's name I pray deeply and with all of my heart and soul. Amen."

I continued to sit there for several minutes and my tears flowed freely once again. Once I got it out of my system and dried my eyes, I sat there and then I felt a vibration on my hip. It was my phone. I listened to the text which was from Nathan. It was just a quick message telling me that Dr. Michaels returned and for me to meet them in the conference room. He didn't say what the news was.

I arrived at the conference room and knocked on the door. Dr. Michaels called for me to come in and so I did. I sat beside Nathan and Dr. Michaels was sitting across from us. Kevin and Cody sat flanking him and Nathan sat on my left. I sat there waiting to hear what Dr. Michaels had to say.

"I have news," he said as he moved papers around.

"What is it?" I asked as my heart pounded harder and faster than ever before. "What did you find?"

"Pathology gave me the reports on the mass," he said. "They checked and rechecked and after running other tests, they've found that there is no cancer, nor are there any precancerous cells nor is there any possibility of cancer. The tumor is benign and I got it all as I said this morning."

Nathan and I hugged and our tears flowed again. Cody and Kevin came around the table to hug us and we all hugged Dr. Michaels and he took it well. I think he was just glad that our nightmare was coming to an end.

"Thank you so much," I said hugging Dr. Michaels again. "I can't tell you in words how relieved I am!"

"I'm just glad I was able to help," he said smiling. "It's moments like this that keep me doing this job."

Nathan, Cody and Kevin thanked him and then we sat down to continue the discussion.

"So now I'll need to talk to you about what happens this afternoon and over the next couple of days," he began. "I'll want to keep him here over the next couple of days. I would like to keep him here until Friday. If he doesn't have any problems, then I'll let him go. Given the seriousness of what I had to do and everything involved, I hope you understand why I'm making the recommendations I'm making."

"I do understand," I said.

Once back in Greyson's hospital room, we woke Daniel, then Greyson. Once we gave them something to drink, we told them the good news. Of course Greyson didn't like when we told him he had to stay until Friday depending on how everything went, but he was just glad of the over-all good news.

We stayed with him for another hour and watched while he ate some food, then he fell asleep. After we sat with him a little while longer, Nathan and I said goodbye to Kevin and Cody since they needed to get back home. We then took Daniel and returned back to the house.

Once at the house, I got dinner for the three of us which was pizza and once we all three ate, Daniel went to his and Greyson's room and I checked on him a few minutes later. He was lying fast asleep on the bed still in his clothes. I got his shoes and socks off and woke him so he could get undressed down to his boxers and under the covers. I kissed him on the forehead and sat with him for a few more minutes. Once he was asleep, I went out of his room and returned to the couch and cuddled up to Nathan.

"Daniel's asleep," I said. "Actually, I had to get him the rest of the way undressed and under the covers. He must have fell asleep right when he lay down."

"I don't blame him," Nathan said as we shared a soft kiss. "That's a lot for our boys to go through. Of course Greyson went through it, but I can only imagine what it was like for Daniel having to watch it all."

"Yeah," I said. "I've been thinking the same thing."

"I'm just glad that it turned out the way it did," he said. "I'm also glad you and I were by each other's sides to face this rather than one of us having to deal with it. I couldn't imagine it that way."

"Neither can I," I said.

Later that night, Nathan and I showered, checked on Daniel, called the hospital to find out that Greyson had dinner and was now sleeping comfortably and then we turned in for the night. As I lay there, my thoughts turned back to the past and to the hard times that would be coming for us as kids, but none of us knew that yet.

Chapter 22

The question isn't if God exists or not. The question is do we have respect or are utterly indifferent to the transcendent? Chris Hedges When Atheism Becomes Religion

Bret rode along in the back seat of Bill and Maria's car. He had been released from the hospital that morning and Bill had been there to help him sign the discharge forms. Maria came a few minutes later and they left and after stopping to bring home breakfast for everyone, they drove back to the house.

"I wanted to thank you guys again for taking me in," Bret said. "I know you guys didn't have to do it, especially since I'm 18."

"We don't believe in that "every man for himself" crap," Bill said. "18 might be the age at which a man or woman becomes an adult, but if they haven't been given much in the way of supportive people in their lives, then the age of 18 doesn't mean much. You deserve to be with a family who loves and cares about you, not stuck in some apartment with hardly any way to get by."

"Bill's right," Maria added. "You're an adult, but that doesn't mean that you should be left to struggle on your own. You're an adult, but you're still young enough that you still need guidance from time to time. We'll help you with that and with getting back on your feet financially again."

"Thank you both," Bret said as they pulled in to the driveway.

"You're welcome," Maria said.

"We're happy to do it," Bill responded.

Caleb

Nathan and I got out of the shower and dried one another. We had made love when we awoke that morning, then cuddled for a bit. My parents called eventually and let us know that they were bringing Bret home.

Once we were dressed, we went out in to the kitchen where Alicia, Cody and Kevin were seated after they got the kitchen cleaned up. They cleaned up the sink, swept the floor and Kevin helped Cody with taking the dishes out of the drainer and in to the cabinets and once finished, we sat to wait. Eventually, the key raddled in the door and it opened. I got up and everyone followed me.

"You're home!" I said happily.

"We're glad to see you," my mom said hugging me.

My dad came in and was talking. A voice responded back to him and I figured that it was Bret.

"Hey dad," I said and went to hug him.

"Hi Caleb," he said hugging me back, then we ended the hug. "I want to introduce you to Bret."

"Hi," Bret said softly.

"Hi Bret," I said. "I'm Caleb."

"I have my hand out," he said. "They said that you are blind. I'll try to keep from saying anything that sounds stupid about that."

"You don't have to worry about that," I said. We shook hands and after we sat down at the table and my parents woke Justin who said the night before that he wanted to sleep in for a while, we all sat down and had breakfast. Bret talked to us and asked questions, and answered some of our questions.

We asked him stuff about what kind of music he liked and what other things he liked to do. We all intuitively knew that further discussions about what brought him to us could and would wait until a later time and only when he was ready to talk about it. For now though, we talked and enjoyed one another's company and the food.

Later that day, we sat in my room and talked. Bret sat in between Nathan and I and Cody and Kevin lay on our bed in one another's arms listening to us talk. Alicia was on the phone talking to one of her girlfriends, and she had said that she'd give Eric a call to see how he was doing as well. She said that she'd be back in a few minutes. Justin had gone to his room to watch TV for a while and just enjoy himself.

"I can put on some music while we talk," I suggested after she left. "Do any of you have a preference?"

"You already know my preference," Nathan said in a lewd and sneaky voice.

"That's an orientation, not a preference," I said reaching across Bret to playfully hit Nathan on his shoulder. "Now get it right."

"Oooo," he said. "Guess you told me. I'm so scared of you. You always know how to make me quake in terror."

"Yeah, whatever," I said as I went over to my music player which was hooked up to my speakers again. "Seriously though, do you guys care what I put on?"

"No," they all four said together.

"Filthy and ice-cold Black Metal it is," I said and pulled up the album In The Nightside Eclipse by Emperor.

"Good choice!" Bret said.

"When you were telling us that you like some Metal and all types of music at the table a little while ago," I began. "I for some reason didn't think you'd be in to Black Metal."

"Yeah," he said. "I love it."

"That one's the fucking shit right there," Nathan said. Just then, a knock sounded at the door.

"Come in," I yelled. "You probably will wish you hadn't though."

"I was sure I heard some R.-rated language when I got up to the door," my mom said as she walked in.

"Hmm," Nathan said. "I wouldn't know anything about that. No, not a thing."

I heard the smart-ass smile in his voice and I began laughing before I even thought of trying not to do it.

"Ahuh," she said and smiled. "I'm sure it was an honest mistake."

"Yeah, definitely," Nathan said laughing. "It happens when I get enthused about Metal albums I like. Kind of like this one."

He pointed to the speakers and she turned towards them as the blast beats pounded and the vocals screamed and blistered through and the guitars did their thing.

"Must be a teenaged thing," she said laughing.

"It's the most beautiful art I've ever heard," Kevin said.

"Yeah," my mom said. "I guess that's one way to look at it. Who's that again."

"It's Emperor," I said. "Why, you want me to burn this on to a C.D. for you to listen to when you go to work in the morning?"

"No thanks," she said laughing.

"Aww," I said. "I'll just have to sneak a copy in to your car's C.D. player as an early Christmas gift."

"Do that, and you'll be grounded for life," she said laughing again.

"Now that's not the grateful attitude of someone in to the Christmas spirit," I joked back.

`Seriously though," she went on. "How do you guys really listen to that stuff?"

"With our ears," Kevin said smirking.

All of us, even our mom laughed at that one.

"Did you need something?" I asked.

"I just wanted to let you guys know that your dad is taking care of lunch and that I have to go and check in on a couple of patients at the hospital," she said. "I should be back in about an hour depending on what happens."

"Okay," I said and hugged her.

She said goodbye to the rest of us in the room, then yelled bye to Alicia and then she left.

We began talking again, then knocking at the door cut in as I told whoever it was to come in. Alicia came in and sat back down.

"How's Eric?" I asked.

She didn't say anything for a moment and I heard her grabbing tissues out of the box I kept on the nightstand. I knew she was crying and I went over to her. I put an arm around her and held her as she got it out of her system.

"Something happened last night," she said. "Eric was telling me that Max, his brother is in the Psychiatric wing of the hospital. He had a nervous breakdown last night and Eric watched the whole thing."

She told us the whole story and it seemed from what she was saying, that Eric had given her every last detail. The part about Max screaming while tightened up on the floor scared me and the image I was conjuring up would stick with me for a long time.

"I'm really sorry to hear that," I said.

"So am I," Nathan added.

"I hope something can be done for him," Cody interjected.

"Me too," Kevin responded.

"So do I," Alicia said.

"Eric told Nathan and I that Max was being bullied by kids at school," I began. "He said that it was bad, but it sounds like there's more to it than what Eric could have known."

"It definitely seems that way," Alicia agreed.

"Maybe you can go and see Eric if he's at home," Kevin suggested.

"I'll ask dad if he can come over," she replied.

Once she talked to dad and he talked to Eric's parents, they agreed. They all agreed that it would probably be good for him to get around friends and ones his own age.

Once Eric stopped by, we brought in a second chair for him to sit in. We put it by Alicia and he sat there after we all hugged him. He was shaking slightly and I knew that he was still scared for his brother.

"We're all here for you Eric," I said.

"Everyone else gave their agreement and he thanked us all.

"It was horrible watching him go through that," he said. "I just can't get the screams and the look in his eyes out of my mind. When I close my eyes, I see his face and the look in his eyes. When I try not to think, I still hear his screams."

"I'm sure that was terrifying for you," Kevin said.

"It's hard to describe it," Eric responded. "I just hope he'll be alright in the end."

We all agreed and we guided Eric on to other topics and he began to relax a little more, then he was calm. We continued talking and I had long-since put back on the music we had been listening to before our mom came in to say she was leaving.

0000

Max lay restrained and he kept seeing the images in his mind. He saw the images of being bullied in the past and recently as well. He didn't know where he was, but he tried desperately to get back to reality. It seemed that dreams kept intruding on his consciousness, bad dreams and he was screaming out in his head. Finally, blackness over-took him and he fell in to dreamless sleep.

While he slept, Paul and Susan, his and Eric's parents sat on either side of him watching him sleep.

They had gotten home quickly once Eric called them and this was right after he called 911. They got there just as the ambulance arrived and they followed it to the hospital and after a couple of hours waiting and receiving information including the final report that he was suffering from a nervous breakdown, they all three left to go back home. While Eric fell in to an exhausted sleep, Paul and Susan searched top to bottom in Max's room. They found his journal and given the situation, they read it and it was little more than a record of his having been bullied along with the first few pages of him coming out to the book. They also found pictures of naked guys in his dresser as well as several sharp pieces of metal. They had traces of blood around the edges of them which suggested to Paul and Susan that they had been used.

That morning was when they sat down with Eric and he told them that Max had come out to him and told him not to tell anyone, not even their parents. Eric explained to them that Max assured him that he'd eventually tell them himself. After they talked with Eric, they checked the pockets of Max's bookbag and they found a device they didn't recognize, but they looked and saw that it was a voice recorder. They asked Eric if he knew where Max could have gotten it, and Eric said he didn't know. They played it once in their own room and it had several recordings of sexual encounters between two people, one of whom they knew was Max and the other they knew as Max's sports coach. They listened to the whole thing, then took it to the police. They were assigned to a detective who was the same one who took down Richie a few years ago when everything with Kevin broke loose. The detective listened and began the paperwork and he hoped that he'd be able to have the coach in custody by the end of the day.

Paul sat there and looked down at his son and tried to keep from losing control. He took Max's hand and held it.

"I wished we could have seen this before it got to this point," he said softly.

"So do I," Susan said. "We did the best we could. I know it doesn't feel like it was enough, but we couldn't have known. I just hope we can do something for him now."

"So do I," Paul replied.

0000

Caleb

Eric left a little before 4:00 that afternoon and by that time, my mom returned home and drove him back to the hospital where his parents would pick him up since they were still there. I waved goodbye to them and I sat down on my bed with Nathan and just held him close.

"It sounds really bad," he said and kissed me softly. I kissed back and held him tighter. I needed his closeness at that moment.

"I know," I said softly. "It doesn't look good, at least not right now anyway. I just hope they can do something for him though."

"Me too," Nathan replied.

Author's Notes

Things will get better with Max, but he'll have a long road to travel. Michael and his center will play a larger part in these next couple of chapters, as Max will be staying there, so everyone who followed Deep Love who might be following this story will get to see him again.

So I hope everyone has a good evening. E-mails can be sent to vector18@msn.com. I'll see everyone in Chapter 23.