The two boys stopped for a foot long submarine sandwich on the way to campus. TJ insisted on paying.
Neil resisted but only briefly. When they sat down to eat, he said, "I know your family is very well off financially, but that doesn't mean you have to buy me supper!"
"I just wanted to do something nice for you, my friend! After all, you've invited me to the concert and the Smithsonian. It's just a way of returning the favor."
The elder teen smiled and chose to let the matter drop, but TJ had more to say. "Yes, my family has plenty of money. Sometimes I wish they didn't!"
"Why? Don't you feel lucky to have a nice home, a generous allowance, and all kinds of creature comforts?"
"Oh, I'm grateful. It's just that..."
"It's what?"
TJ debated with himself about whether to explain his feelings but concluded that if there was to be a meaningful relationship, he must be honest.
"Well, Isabel has told me about her family: Most of them are poor. I don't know how much money she earns but whatever it is she shares with her relatives. Sometimes, they can't afford a decent meal! Medicine and doctor visits are beyond their reach! That makes me feel guilty! Look at where I live: a big house for three people, two new SUVs, designer clothes, and expensive parties for friends. My parents don't necessarily need all of those material things. They want to impress others! It's just obscene consumerism!"
By the time TJ finished talking, he was visibly agitated.
Neil knew of his friend's sincere feelings on social issues but was surprised at the depth of his emotions. He sat quietly for a moment before saying, "I didn't realize you had such strong beliefs concerning this subject. And, I admire your compassion. I've met several students at school from rich families. Almost all of them take it for granted. Some even feel that their privileged status is somehow a right. A few are downright snobs. But none of them show any concern for the impoverished or disadvantaged. It's refreshing to meet someone like you who really cares about other people."
"I'm not looking for compliments or praise, Neil. It's just that I'm disgusted with the 'haves' ignoring those without ... and the powerful exploiting the powerless. My father and I used to argue over this topic all the time, but neither of us could change the other's mind."
"Is that why the two of you are not close?"
"That's a large part of it. He's so loyal to his political party and to his church that he refuses to listen to opposing viewpoints on controversial issues such as homosexuality. In his mind, pre-marital sex is sinful, but an unfortunate consequence of there being two genders and the need to reproduce. On the other hand, two men sleeping together is more repugnant than just being immoral. It's a violation of natural laws. I think if it was up to my father, he would have all gays castrated and then, executed!"
"Do you really believe he would want that?"
"Perhaps I'm exaggerating. But he hates fags!"
"Then it's even more remarkable that you feel the way you do. I really admire you for refusing to follow in his foot steps!"
"Thank Isabel for that. She's the one who taught me to think about the less fortunate and to try to understand their problems. She never lectures me or attempts to impose her beliefs. She shows me by example: such as helping her less fortunate relatives, accepting the sexual orientation of her nephew and pointing out the good in people."
"That's one more thing we have in common! While I may never have felt as strongly as you I empathize with the downtrodden. Even if they can afford to eat and acquire decent housing, the destitute have no chance to obtain an education that would provide them with opportunities to find better paying jobs."
"Exactly! And, one day, I'm going to do something about it!"
"Like, what?"
"I'm not sure, yet. Perhaps, as a social worker or an advocate for the poor. I'm definitely coming out and when I do, I will fight for the rights of gays! We're certainly one of the persecuted classes of society."
"Your father will not be pleased, TJ."
"Fuck him!"
Immediately regretting his expletive, because it might have been overheard, the younger teen more calmly but earnestly continued. "That man's part of the problem. He and all the other bigots in this world!"
"Hey! Please calm down! Think about what you just said: You want to understand and accept people so that you can help them. At the same time, you criticize your father for his beliefs. Do you see the contradiction?"
TJ thought about what Neil had just said for a few minutes, before remarking, "You're right! I was wrong to be angry with my father. Negative emotions only make matters worse!"
"There's nothing wrong with having zeal, but it must be properly controlled. Your anger over societal injustice is commendable. That you want to improve upon it is laudable. However, don't let your indignation cloud your judgment of people. That makes you sound just like a bigot."
The younger boy was impressed and moved by Neil's analysis. Moreover, he appreciated his friend's candor because it showed the two were connecting on a level other than just physical attraction. Furthermore, Neil accepted what he said. Most importantly, in a caring, friendly way, he had challenged his thinking.
"Geez! I never thought of it that way. Thanks for the insight! But I'm not wrong in believing that his attitude and behavior are making things worse for others. It perpetuates intolerance. It's hypocritical, Neil! He's proud of his public service in the government; yet, my father simultaneously enforces policies favoring the rich and powerful! The man claims to be a devout Christian but ignores the obligation to "love thy neighbor as thyself". If he were a true believer he would contribute more of his wealth to charities rather than squandering it on extravagant, self-indulgent ostentation!"
Remaining quiet for a moment while he considered what to say, Neil, finally, replied, "I don't like pretense, either. However, sometimes, we cannot see it within ourselves!"
"What are you trying to tell me?"
"The last thing I want to do is to offend you. Your friendship means everything! What I am about to suggest is a more constructive way for you to handle your emotions. Okay?"
"All right!"
The younger boy remained curious about where Neil was leading their conversation.
"You were most fortunate to be born into a family that could afford to give you everything you needed. You've grown up safe and secure without any real worries." Leaning over, the elder boy whispered, "Except for your attraction to other guys."
"Yes! But..."
"Hear me out! You've benefited from all of that. Your parents have provided you with everything you could want and more. How do you repay them? Not with gratitude but anger! You seem to be mad at them for holding values that are contrary to your own. At the same time, you profess to respect others with differing opinions. Isn't that hypocritical? Shouldn't you thank your mother and father, loving them for what they've done?"
The younger teen had much to ponder. He sat quietly for several minutes putting it all together. Finally, he said, "I adore my mother almost as much as Isabel. I'm grateful to all three for everything they've done. Do I also care deeply about my father? Until now, I wasn't sure. He's aloof, formal and unaffectionate. My mother says he loves me and that I should be patient with him. However, it would be nice if he told me himself. Do I love him? Yes!...now that you've made me think about it! I just wish we could get along better!"
"Let me plant a thought in your mind. Please don't react immediately. Just ponder it for a while. Take the first step! Say to your father: `I love you!' Repeating that sentiment often may break the ice. It could help him express his own feelings. In addition, but it might temper his disappointment when you tell him you're gay! Now, let's go to the concert!"
Walking to the elder boy's car, TJ said, "Neil?"
"What?"
"Thanks! I appreciate what you told me. And now I'm going to use a word that may anger you. I love you! I adore you even more for listening, for comprehending, and for helping me better understand my father."
Grinning, Neil remarked, "Get in the car quickly before I kiss you right here in public!"