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As autumn begins the boys are stepping in to summer in the country. Thanks for the lovely messages Hit me on twitter/tumblr/wordpress/email with feedback
Sam xoxo
Gervais and Will
Gervais is kind of terrified about his first day at work. He has a million coping strategies from Blue and his therapists but thy all fly out his head as he makes the early morning drive into the city.
He goes to an orientation presentation with a couple of other summer interns and some new starters and doesn't really take anything in. He signs policy upon policy and is eventually shown to his desk and introduced to a bunch of people who blur into one.
As soon as he's alone Brian comes bounding over with a big smile on his face and Gervais finally remembers to breathe.
"I made sure you were on my team. Come on over and I'll show you what we're working on." Brian says and within the hour Gervais feels at home. By the end of the day he's comfortable and motivated.
"Hey Will. How was your day?" Gervais asks as they meet at a coffee place near Gervais work.
"Pretty great. Not. First day of gym camp, trying to get my rehab exercises down without being mown down by kids was not easy." Will grins.
"Was Ocean okay?" Gervais asks.
"Yeah, he loves being able to show off to other kids his age, both his moves and his friendships with the older guys, me and Spence. He's not too obnoxious with it, he's already super patient with others when they're learning and gives lots of great tips. He's settled in and has friends and that is all that matters. How was the new job?" Will asks.
"It'll be good. Brian said he'll be your roommate." Gervais says.
"Yes. I'll get the apartment next week. You can use it when I'm not there if you like. Or if you need to be in work early or whatever." Will says.
"Thanks. Shall we go and get some food? I was way too nervous to eat any lunch today." Gervais says.
"Sure. Is it okay if we go to an Italian place? I know one that does a great chicken dish for me." Will says.
"Sure I lover pasta." Gervais says with a smile. He likes Will, likes him a lot. He knows just how good he is for Blue, is jealous of that but mostly happy for Blue. He knows he has to be friendlier with Will to be able to stay in Blue's life.
"I meant it the other day about paying you back for the house." Will says.
"No way. I owed Blue, still owe Blue for all he has done for me. I just hate how I seem to be being whitewashed from his future." Gervais says.
"And you think if we become friends it will help?" Will asks.
"I hope so. Blue is my best friend, Robin and I are close now and so are Andy and Blue but Blue and I have such a connection that however fucked up things have been we always find our way back to friendship. We're getting better at it being less fucked up. I was getting a lot better at not hurting him before last weekend. I know, you don't need to tell me how much I messed up, I know. I'll make it up to him, and to you." Gervais says.
"You better." Will says.
"I'll petition work to use Blue's ice-cream at launch events." Gervais grins.
"That would be a start. Not fucking up would be better. He needs support and not just money. He really needs support over Chris and Bea, you can do that better than me, you know how Chris ticks." Will says.
"I am scared shitless what those two will do next. If Blue is a big success. If they decide they want in. If hell I don't know they come here to be with Clara. It would be hell for Blue, Andy and me. I wouldn't feel safe, Blue even worse." Gervais says and Will visibly relaxes.
"So you really get it? Yup get how stressed he is about it, even though he's pushing it away and pretending he isn't. I'm really glad you're on side." Will says.
"I'm so glad he has you. You've totally had his back and it shows." Gervais says.
"I love him and would do anything for him." Will says.
"I am jealous as hell and I believe you." Gervais sighs.
"l know how important you are to Blue and I know that despite his attempts to put himself first, or us first he could never be happy if you were truly unhappy and he won't be happy if you are not his life. You more so than Andy or Robin. You're not being whitewashed out. I guess we need to find a way to make us both happy, that makes Blue happy." Will says.
"I guess I don't understand why Andy living in the barn is less of an issue for you than me living there. Given Andy has actively pursued Blue in a way that I haven't." Gervais says.
"Oh come on, you know Andy has no chance. They might have a sss connection and a working connection but Blue will never go there. A matured you living next door, well I would always feel I was competing, however secure I am with Blue." Will admits.
"As long as you treat him well he won't come to me. You mess up, then he'll be mine, that isn't a threat it's just reality." Gervais says.
"I know." Will says softly.
"Look I'll either be living with you in the house or in the barn conversion or a house very nearby." Gervais says.
"Why are you moving here at all? I get you have this internship this summer but surely you'll be applying for jobs all over." Will asks.
"Blue, Clara, Cheryl and Ocean are my family. I've lived my whole life without anyone who cared if I lived or dies. I am not going to lose the people who have chosen me for family. I could live up at the lake but it is so remote and Cheryl is here. I don't want to miss out on Ocean growing up and I want to be on hand to help him with his schooling. I couldn't start over somewhere new, alone." Gervais says.
"I guess I don't know your background, only your relationship with Blue. I trust Blue enough to know there must be good reasons he keeps you in his life despite everything. We're both going to have to do some work on trusting each other. The better friends we become the less likely you are to try and steal Blue." Will grins.
"I'm not going to tell you this for sympathy and I don't want you to see me differently. Hang on to that nugget of hate you have for me, for hurting Blue." Gervais begins.
"I don't hate you." Will says.
"You hate some of the things I've done. I can't justify them but I can let you in and let you know why Blue is so protective of me." Gervais says and gives Will a potted history of his life with his dad, abuse at boarding school and what happened to his mom.
Both men are crying as Gervais brings the story up to date with meeting his mother's friends and finding out about her background and that they suspect his dad spent his life in the system.
"Thanks for trusting me. Whilst you are not off the hook for hurting Blue I can see why he let you back in so easily. He would not be happy if you were too far away, not without Robin and the others looking out for you." Will says.
"You make it sound like we're still co-dependent but we're not, not in the way we were." Gervais says.
"I hope that's true, Blue has grown so much in the last few months. You should have seen how he handled his mom springing his siblings on him. He gave major smack down. Last year he couldn't even tell Spence to fuck off over me." Will says.
"It has been hard to get used to but I actually love how he puts his foot down. I love how strong he is now. It is what makes it so much harder to lose him to you, now he is in a place where he could handle me and not let me get away with what I might try to." Gervais sighs.
"Well good job he has me because I would never try." Will says and Gervais nods.
"You're right, Blue is ready for me but I am still not healed enough for him." Gervais says.
"Heal for yourself." Will says and Gervais gives him a big smile.
Spence and Andy.
Spence drives Ocean and Will to the gym early. They are all in a pretty positive mood. It's hard for Spence to dwell on his relationship issues when Ocean is happily singing his routines to them, to show how he remembers them all.
Ocean insists on giving Spence a full tour of the gym before warmup starts. Spence is actually grateful as Ocean has a talent for names and jolts Spence's memory on some of the coaches and support staff.
Spence has a great day. He enjoys working a couple of sessions with the summer beginners and helping Will out for a couple of hours.
"Your shoulder must be close to ready. You've got almost all your range back." Spence says.
"Yeah I hope to get the all clear soon. I won't be doing any dismounts for a while but it would be good to feel I'm getting started." Will says.
"Good luck with Gervais tonight. He's a really good guy. He and Blue have a crazy history and no doubt it will have more crazy moments to come but they share a really special bond. Really special and it is totally understandable that Gervais is struggling to deal right now." Spence says.
"I think we both want the best for Blue and I have to reluctantly accept that includes Gervais. We're having dinner together now. Hope things go well with Andy tonight. He is so into you, you just need to be patient." Will says.
"I totally messed up being on a plate." Spence rues.
"Have fun. Remind him how fun you are." Will says.
"Thanks. Come on Ocean, we need to get you home." Spence says and Ocean beams, now everyone knows he and Spence are friends.
Ocean takes Spence by the hand and they head to the car.
"I had a lot of fun today." Ocean says as they drive back.
"Me too. Lots of work ahead." Spence says.
"Yes I am glad you are here to get me back in shape." Ocean says.
"It really shows that you've been working with Blue again." Spence says.
"I love yoga. I love stretching and I love flying." Ocean grins and Spence smiles back.
"To the house or parlor?" Spence asks.
"House please. Me and Katelyn are going to have fun." Ocean says.
"Put your kit in the laundry first." Spence says.
"Booooooooooooooooooring." Ocean complains but does as he's told. Spence pats himself on the back for remembering to remind him.
Spence checks Roe is in and it's okay to leave Ocean. Grabs a shower and heads over to collect Andy from Mike's farm.
"Ready for some steak?" Spence asks.
"Yes please." Andy grins.
"How was your date last night?" Spence asks.
"Really good. Ollie isn't interested which made me try a bit hard, but we had a lovely time. He showed me round all over town and a few nearby places. He chatted a lot about the business and didn't put out, not even a kiss." Andy grins.
"Larry broke up with me, before I had a chance to dump him. I think that fire we had for each other burned out and we both started looking elsewhere. We had two amazing weekends and it was enough, it was fun but not a patch on what we used to get up to. I mean it was more extreme but with us we had total trust of each other and we could press each other's buttons like no one." Spence says.
"And anatomically speaking we were a perfect fit." Andy says with a big smile.
"Absolutely perfect. With Larry I tried to force the trust by taking it slow but we were fooling ourselves, we just wanted to do a few scenes to satisfy an itch and that was it. I've no idea why we thought it was some big love." Spence admits to himself as much as to Andy.
"Larry dumping you leaves us both in the clear with Mike and Tad which is awesome. Although the cheese isn't going to happen. The ice-cream is projected to take more milk than Arnold can supply." Andy says.
"So what does that mean for you?" Spence asks.
"I work for Mike on a Monday when Blue is at the bakery. And I'll work on the business the rest of the time. Unless Cheryl or Blue need me to fill in anywhere. Claud has asked if I'll work a couple of midweek markets and things with him which I will do as long as I can sell some of my things as well." Andy says.
"So you are happy?" Spence asks.
"I am. I never thought I would love anywhere as much as I love the lake, but I am just as at home here. Being happy and feeling settled makes it easy to feel at home." Andy says.
"And Blue and Cheryl's cooking helps." Spence grins.
"Oh yeah. I am looking so much better, have no idea how Chris did such a number on me, No one has broken me like that before. I thought it was mad how George and Blue ended up, how could Blue of all people get sucked in to an abusive relationship. i didn't even notice when things changed with Chris but they did." Andy says.
"You are so strong. Everything you've been through since you came out, you've come through stronger." Spence says.
"You, Katelyn and Blue have got me through it all. I owe you all so much. Your parents too. They gave me a home and paid for me for so long. I get that I was doing them a favor too, looking out for you. They accepted us right from the start, we just didn't know how much as they never stopped in long enough to show us." Andy says.
"When I have kids I'll probably smother them." Spence grins.
"Same. Robin is the only one of us with normal hands on parents. Without them we'd have no clue how to get it right." Andy says.
"So you do see us having kids." Spence says.
"I guess I do." Andy says hesitantly, not wanting to lead Spence on but not wanting to lie either. When he shuts his eyes and imagines his future family he imagines Spence as his husband. He's not sure when that image formed but it's stuck in his head now. He tries picturing himself with Blue and he just keeps morphing into Spence.
"But you are not ready for us yet." Spence says.
"No." Andy says that feels truthful.
"I'm not going to ask you back again until graduation. You've a year to run around and do whoever and I will do the same. It will take the pressure off, if I'm not looking for someone. Then we'll decide what we want, for good." Spence says.
"And if I know before then?" Andy asks.
"That's up to you." Spence says,
"You've said you'll back off before." Andy says.
"I mean it this time. I really do." Spence says.
"And we'll stay friends? Close friends?" Andy asks.
"Always. You will always be my best friend whatever happens. We've been through too much together. You can always talk to me." Spence says.
"And physically?" Andy asks.
"If it happens it happens." Spence grins.
"You cannot resist me." Andy beams.
"Oh I think that goes both ways." Spence beams back.
"I love you Spence. I always wanted you to be happy and I really thought you and Larry had a shot. I guess we both mistook your fire for more. We never cooled. Real life would get in the way and I didn't always like you but I am always attracted to you." Andy says.
"Same, always the same, j know there are people who stupidly think out of your league because of my athletic body and rich parents but no one has ever held my attention like you have, right from the start." Spence says.
"I loved you before you got that killer bod." Andy says.
"I know, and that makes you all the sexier." Spence grins.
"A year to run around and then we get married." Andy says.
"Who said anything about marriage?" Spence grins knowing that everything is going to be okay. Not okay, perfect.
"We should talk to Blue and Will about that barn some more." Andy says.
"I spoke to Gervais, we have to include him. Gift or not he bought it and it would be really mean to live in it and leave him with nowhere." Spence says.
"He's Blue's family as much as I am and needs to be nearby. He and Will will have to work it out. You're right it would be super unfair for Gervais to have bought us a plot. Maybe we should look elsewhere for something." Andy says. "Gervais and I were actually thinking of making it quite a flexible building, so it could be easily be changed from one to two dwellings. We looked at a few examples online last night. I still like the idea of us living above your farm to table restaurant." Spence says.
"And the barn would be good in between then Gervais could convert It to one dwelling. I see. We'll have to see what Blue and Will think. Katelyn will be disappointed." Andy says.
"If I pay your third then if we work out well it doesn't matter. If we don't you can borrow the money from Katelyn and pay me back." Spence says.
"Or just a down payment and get a mortgage." Andy says.
"I think we'll work out." Spence grins.
"Me too. I hope Robin won't feel left out." Andy says worriedly.