A Master of the Tenth Order

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A Master of the Tenth Order, Chapter 6 By ThePhallocrat - thephallocrat@gmail.com

Claudio slept for many hours, with only brief interludes of semi-consciousness. During one such half-awakening, he noticed he was not in his own room, in his own bed, but somewhere else. It was a comfortable place, though, the blankets warm and soft, and thus he soon drifted away again into slumber. On another occasion, he came to awareness to hear voices in the room with him.

"You did not know," said a deep voice, a rich baritone. Master Paelomon? "None of us did."

"I know." That one was Benedict, for certain. He somehow understood then that he was in Benedict's quarters, the one place in the Commune besides his own room that felt most like home. He was snuggled comfortably into his teacher's bed.

"Then why do you torment yourself with guilt?"

"I can't help it," Benedict said. There was real grief in his voice. "We almost lost him. He's my responsibility."

"You love him."

The next words came out almost like a sob. "Very much."

"You are a good teacher, Benedict. I don't tell you that enough."

A rueful laugh from Instructor Benedict. "Don't seek to placate me with compliments now, Pael."

"I mean it. You care deeply about all your pupils. But perhaps Claudio a bit more than the others?"

A brief pause. "I can't deny it. His heart is so pure... He came to me so young, so afraid, and he trusted me completely. He chose me. Yes, it's true, he's been my favorite ever since."

Claudio's eyes were closed, but a dreamy smile blossomed on his face. His teacher's favorite? He must be dreaming. He let himself fall back into oblivion.

"He is precious, I've always known that," came Benedict's voice from a distance as Claudio drifted off, "But even I never realized how much so."

More deep slumber. His body was profoundly exhausted, heavy, and for a long time it seemed a full awakening would never come. That is not to say that the sleep was entirely peaceful. He was at times troubled with haunting, anxious dreams. They were nonsensical, as most dreams, mere vessels for fear of overwhelming power, of loss of control, of confused sense of self, of unfulfilled yearning, and above all of recent and very serious danger. He didn't know it, but he tossed and turned and murmured to himself in those moments. Sitting by his pupil's side more often than not, Benedict saw this disquiet and whispered comforting words and summoned magick of healing, calm, and peace to share with him. In the darkest hours of the night, Claudio became aware that he was not alone in the bed. A warm and comforting body pressed against his, arms wrapped tightly around him, quickly causing him to fall back asleep feeling safe and assured. It would only be much later that he would realize with shocked delight and gratitude that it had been Benedict who had held him through the night as his mind and body recovered.

Finally, late into the afternoon of the day following the incident, Claudio's eyes fluttered open and he came fully awake. His eyes explored the room and found his teacher sitting close by in a chair, sipping a cup of tea and reading a book. His gaze was noticed quickly, though, and when Benedict saw his student was awake at last he set the book down quickly and moved to sit next to him on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on his forehead, then on his cheek, then neck, as if testing him for something.

"How are you feeling?" the instructor said softly.

"Fine," Claudio said automatically, but his body told him otherwise. He decided to be honest. "Actually, awful. Sore."

"No doubt. What do you remember?"

"Everything, I think," Claudio said, wincing at the memories, "But I'm not sure I understand what I remember. Is Johan alright?"

"He is. Nobody was harmed."

"I burned the room."

"Books, desks, and tables we can replace. You and Johan we cannot. We're all very relieved you're both alright." To emphasize how much he meant it, Benedict cupped Claudio's cheek with one hand. It was an assertive gesture, one that suggested possession or control as well as comfort. Benedict was acting more like a father or lover (or some complicated combination of both) than a teacher. "You gave me quite a scare, my boy. All of us really."

"I'm sorry," Claudio said with wet eyes. His teacher's hand on his face was stirring all kinds of emotions, on top of everything else. "Am I in trouble?"

Benedict gave a kindly laugh, a release of tension and grief, and then impulsively bent down to kiss the boy on the forehead. "Sweet boy. No. Not at all. It is I who must beg your forgiveness." Claudio's confusion was plain on his face. Benedict stood and paced the room, assumed his teaching voice and manner.

"Since the day you first came to me to discuss your fear of the higher order magicks, I have sensed your vast potential. And I have told you as much. It was not flattery. I knew early on in our work together that you had the capacity to be one of the most powerful Magickers in the Commune. Realizing that, I should not have attempted to instruct you myself. No doubt you think of me as impossibly old and a very experienced teacher. I remember that at your age I thought all adults were equally far, far above me. But the truth is I'm quite young myself, really. Not so many years have passed since I was of the Fifth Order, like you, and I've still only obtained the Ninth. I have only trained a few others before you in sex magick. Compared to many of the Masters of the Commune, who have practiced their art and taught acolytes for decades, I'm still a novice. Knowing your great potential, I should have guided you into the hands of somebody far more experienced, more prepared. For the sake of your safety as well -- though Master Paelomon assures me otherwise, I cannot help but wonder if another, wiser teacher might have spotted the danger in time and prevented all this."

Claudio protested, struggling up into a sitting position. "But I don't want another teacher."

Benedict smiled, even blushed. "Dear boy, I know. And I didn't want to give you up, either. So I convinced myself that I was up to the challenge. But what happened last night..." He shook his head.

"What did I do wrong?" Claudio asked, "How did it happen?"

"We questioned Johan thoroughly, so I think I have a rough idea. Though the Masters will no doubt want to hear it all from your lips too. But in short: you and Johan attempted your first sex magick test together. This is not generally advisable, but it happens. Usually the presence of another student is too distracting, but on some occasions it has been beneficial for both acolytes. We don't usually discourage it, because no harm is done in trying. We have not introduced acolytes at that level to the magickal rituals that involve connection and pleasuring each other, and the greater part of the energy and thus the potential danger comes from there. Even if two acolytes were to attempt it, without instruction they can generally go nowhere with it. So the risk is small. That is one reason I never warned you about working sex magick with Johan."

Claudio's head swam, still groggy from sleep, as he tried to take it all in. "One reason?"

"The other is I thought you still too timid to agree to anything like that," Benedict laughed at his own folly, a short, rueful snort. "I underestimated you. In many ways. Your confidence has grown far quicker than I anticipated -- and you are far more powerful than any of us knew."

His natural modesty wanted him to protest, but Claudio's memory of the vast magick pouring through him and the raging inferno held tightly inside that almost killed him was too recent. He had tasted greater power than he thought possible.

"You should not have been able to link with Johan so strongly without instruction. You certainly should not have been able to so thoroughly control his pleasure and bring him to the brink merely with your thoughts alone. And to hold him there on the very edge in the point of greatest power -- did you really do that? Did Johan speak true?"

Claudio remembered it vividly and nodded, too embarrassed to speak.

"How did you know how to do that?"

The young man shrugged. "I don't know. It felt right. It was... instinct I guess. I couldn't stop myself. I... didn't want it to be over."

Benedict's face looked wary, or scared. No, that wasn't quite right. It was awe. He was in awe of his young student, and realizing that made Claudio's stomach flip over a few times. "This is powerful magick," Benedict said, "Rites of the very highest Order. To make love, to experience consummation with another person, to make a moment last an age, and with thought and magick alone. Even I have not obtained that mastery. It is not surprising that you were unprepared for the power that was unleashed. It is only surprising that you are still here and unharmed."

"The Tenth Order?" Claudio could scarcely believe it. To have brushed against such heights left him giddy with a kind of vertigo.

"Make no mistake, you still have yet to obtain the Sixth Order, let alone the Tenth. But your instincts have made a certain amount of instruction unnecessary, it would seem. You are, let's say, a natural. A savant, even. However, you will still need training and years of study to master the higher orders, like any acolyte. But your potential is vast. Including your potential to harm yourself or others in the meantime. That is why--"

"Master," Claudio blurted out suddenly, then softened his voice into a plea, "Benedict." He had never used the man's name so familiarly like that. It felt strange on the tongue, but he wanted what he said next to really be understood. "Please do not pass me to another teacher. I don't care what you say, I feel safer with you than anybody else."

The older man's face softened as the mantle of teacher slipped away from him. He smiled and returned to the bedside, touching his student's shoulder soothingly. "Last night, in my anguish, I desperately wanted to pass you to another. For your own good. Because I love you too much to risk you." His voice choked a little with emotion, then. Claudio felt himself moved too in response, more tears bubbling up. "Master Paelomon has persuaded me otherwise. He agrees with you."

"He does?"

"He argued that separating us would do more harm to you than good. And I now think he is right -- and I'm glad he is so wise, because I never really wanted to stop teaching you anyway. You form deep bonds, Claudio. You love fiercely, with great attachment. And you make it easy to love you in return. That is indeed the source of much of your power... and it is also your vulnerability. I do not think last night's incident would have occurred if it had been another acolyte, and not Johan, in your room. Do you understand?"

Claudio blushed crimson. He did understand. The magick had made it impossible to deceive himself further. "Because I love him."

His teacher nodded, looking pleased by his student's self-awareness. "You love him and you fear to lose him, since he cannot by his nature feel for you exactly the way you feel for him. This is quite common for those of us who are of the Sun -- I remember very well the boy I loved dearly who could not love me back like I wanted. There's a great many lessons to be learned by both magickers in that situation. And a great potential for pain. And in pain, magick that is wild and dangerous. As we have learned, that goes extra for you. We must tread carefully with such things in future, take... added precautions. Thus, we won't put you through losing me as a teacher, to the relief of us both. But Master Paelomon will take a greater, more involved role in overseeing my instruction, for added safety. And there are... other precautionary measures we should discuss."

Claudio sensed his teacher was preparing to deliver news that he would not want to hear, and he guessed what it was. He lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, an empty sadness descending on him. "Johan and I can't be roommates anymore."

"No," Benedict said, firmly but as gently as possible, "It is for the best, I promise you."

"I doubt he'd want to still live with me anyway," the boy said, with some obvious bitterness. "I'll count myself lucky if he'll allow me to be in the same room as him after what happened."

Benedict frowned. "You dishonor him," he admonished, "He may not be able to match your feelings exactly, but he loves you profoundly in his own way. He has been sick with worry over you."

"Yes? Then where is he?" Claudio heard himself saying, knew he was being petty even as he heard it. He understood, then, the way pain could make you act in strange ways. Even when you knew better. It made you lash out no matter how unfair you knew it to be.

His teacher leaned over him suddenly, blocking his view of the ceiling. It was a very intimate position, and feeling Benedict looming over him authoritatively, trapping him against the bed, Claudio gave a little yelp despite himself. "Don't be an ass, boy," Benedict said, shaking his head, "He's in the hall, right outside. He's been there since last night and protested any effort to remove him. And if you repent your ill-thoughts of him, I shall fetch him in to see you forthwith."

He couldn't help himself then, Claudio burst fully into tears. He wept in shame of his own foolishness, that he could doubt his friend, relief that Johan still cared despite everything, relief to still have Benedict as a mentor, and perhaps most of all some much belated relief to simply still be alive. Accepting these tears as proof of his regret for his hard words, Benedict opened the door to admit Johan and then stepped out of the room to give them a few moments.

It was a reunion with few words. The tears in the eyes of both boys said enough -- especially from Johan, who was not prone to weeping. They mostly sat in silence, occasionally touching each other on the arm in reassurance. It was not that there was nothing to say; there was too much, really, and neither knew where to begin. Johan apologized after a particularly long silence, awkward mumbling he didn't have the right words.

"Don't," Claudio hushed him, "You're here. Nothing you could say would mean more than that."

Johan nodded gratefully, and Claudio saw how tired he was.

"You look terrible," he said with a smile.

"Well, not all of us got to sleep all day," Johan joked back, "I haven't really slept since...."

Claudio was touched and also mortified. "Go. Sleep. I'm alright."

Johan nodded and stood to leave.

"Where..." Claudio asked, then faltered. "Where will you be living now?"

"They gave me a single, for now," Johan answered, not quite able to look at his friend as he said it.

"Wow. Lucky."

"It will be lonely, I think," Johan said quickly, then hurried from the room as if fleeing the emotion behind the words. Left behind, Claudio sat and stewed in complicated emotions, laying back on his teacher's bed and wondering what to do next.

Just when he was sure he would go mad from the silence and his own thoughts, the door opened and Benedict returned, but not alone. Now Master Paelomon was with him, the big hairy man flashing Claudio a kindly smile as he pulled a chair close to the bed and sat. Benedict took a seat at the foot at the bed and laid a comforting hand on Claudio's leg.

"I was glad to hear you are back with us," the older teacher said, "But no doubt you needed the rest." His voice was low and deep like distant thunder, his beard bushy and much longer than Benedicts, but just as well maintained. His smile was warm and inviting and seemed genuine, but Paelomon could be an intimidating man due to his frame and innate sense of authority. It was no accident that he often served as the strict disciplinarian for the acolytes and often tasked with dealing with those who broke the rules. Despite Benedict's assurances that Claudio was not in trouble, he could not help but squirm in his seat as if about to receive judgment.

"I must commend you for your skill at keeping a low profile," the big man continued, with some humor in his voice. He exchanged a wry smile with Benedict. "I know you weren't doing it on purpose, but to keep the scale of your potential unnoticed until this late in your training is remarkable. You've quite thoroughly rattled our confidence in monitoring and evaluating our students."

"I'm sorry."

Paelomon raised a meaty hand, palm out, stopping him. "No need. It's a wakeup call we clearly needed, we should by no means ever grow complacent. We failed to prepare you and you almost paid the ultimate price for it, but we shall learn from the error. That is all one can do, once the error is made. But I want to know how it happened. May I ask you some probing personal questions?"

Exchanging looks with Benedict, who gave him a reassuring nod, Claudio said, "Of course, Master."

Paelomon rubbed part of his beard thoughtfully. "If I had to guess, I'd say you've never engaged in sexual acts with another acolyte. Not once. Is that true?"

Claudio shyly nodded.

"Furthermore, last night was the first time you've ever so much as masturbated in the presence of another boy, am I right?"

Claudio nodded again.

Benedict shook his head, amused. "A virgin in the Magicker's Commune. A rarity."

"Not so rare as you imagine," Paelomon told him, "Johan is just as inexperienced. Which probably only added to the situation last evening."

Benedict looked shocked. "Johan? You must be joking."

"He has reasons of his own," Master Paelomon explained.

Claudio sighed, remembering. "He thinks he's ugly," he lamented, kicking himself for not saying something about it when Johan had visited, but unsure what he would even say.

Paelomon raised an inquisitive eyebrow at the young man. "Now, however deep your friendship has become, I know he did not tell you that. He barely acknowledges it to himself. Plumbed his depths thoroughly during the link, did you?" Claudio yelped and blushed, covering his mouth, but the big man pressed on, his voice gaining a slight edge. "He did not consent to you rooting around in his thoughts and darkest secrets, young acolyte. What would we be if we used our powers to violate the human mind at whim? It's a kind of rape. Worse than rape, in some ways. Our minds are our own province, to be shared in intimacy only with the most sacred of permission."

Guilt flooding him, Claudio nodded, words spilling out of him. "I didn't mean to. It wasn't right to do it. I wish I could take it back."

"You didn't know or understand what you were doing," the master magicker replied, voice softening considerably. "Now you do, though, and there will be no excuse the next time. Understood?"

Benedict reached out and touched his fellow instructor on the shoulder. "Come now, Pael, don't terrify the boy. Didn't he endure enough last night?"

Paelomon sighed and relaxed. "You understand why we must take these things quite seriously, don't you, Claudio? I know you do. Benedict is right to remind me that you have already done so, not just last night but all your life. Despite all the opportunities around you here in the Commune, I believe some inner instinct kept you from experimenting in matters that you knew deep down you were not ready to handle, tapping into forces you would not be able to control. It's a good sign that by and large your burgeoning desire for pleasure has not outweighed your inner impulse for preservation. You will need to learn to relinquish some of that control, in time, but until now it has served you well."

He stopped speaking, and now both he and Benedict were just looking at Claudio, so the boy felt like he should say something. "I won't mess up again. I learned a lot last night, I swear."

Paelomon exchanged a knowing glance with Benedict, then said, "Yes, I believe you did. We can both sense it perfectly well." He rose, then lumbered across the room to Benedict's desk, where he picked up a candle, then returned to set it on the chair where he had been sitting. "Show us."

Claudio stared at the candle in shock then looked back and forth between both men. "I don't know that I'm ready to... I mean after last night I..."

Benedict leaned forward and touched his student's cheek again, the same calming gesture from earlier that had struck the boy to the quick. "I know. I understand why you would fear to swim in these waters again, but that fear will only grow the longer you put it off. It is best to jump right back in and face it. We are both here, making sure you stay safe. Besides," he nodded to the candle, "after what you touched last night, this is nothing at all, is it not?"

The young magicker looked at the candle. It was indeed a trivial, almost silly thing now. Behind the fear of power was the memory of the taste of it, of how clear it had made everything seem, and almost without realizing he was doing it Claudio began to touch himself beneath the blankets.

The two teachers saw the intensity of focus in his face. "Well, that was easier than I expected," Benedict grinned. "Right back into it, barely any hesitation."

"He is a true magicker," Paelomon said, and the pride in his voice was obvious. "He's tasted the universe, there will be no stopping him from here on out. Which is why we must teach him well."

Benedict stood. "I'll go behind the curtain," he whispered, not wanting to distract Claudio further. He needn't have bothered -- Claudio was so focused now on returning to the wellsprings of magickal power that he didn't even notice his teacher as sporting a very noticeable erection under his robes. Claudio barely registered it as Benedict retreated behind the curtain, but he did notice, at length, that Paelomon did not. Then he remembered Johan saying the big man had never gone behind a curtain during their private lessons. Mulling this thought over started to distract him, and at last he cast a raised eyebrow at the master magicker in confusion.

Paelomon seemed to understand his unspoken question. "I am a Master of the Tenth Order, young Claudio," he said. There was no pride or bragging in the statement, merely explanation. "A curtain would make no difference for me."

"I don't understand," Claudio said before he could stop himself, then felt a fool. How could he possibly understand?

"Given what Johan told us of last evening," Paelomon said, "you understand far more than you think. But that's for another day. Proceed."

And proceed Claudio did, fighting past fear and confusion to return to that place of calm stillness he'd found the previous evening. He fondled himself to full arousal and then tossed the blankets aside to begin self-pleasuring in earnest. Throughout, he found to his surprise that it was easier than ever not to be distracted by sexual thoughts and fantasies, since he was intensely curious about the sensations he was experiencing here, now, and the way his mind seemed to expand as the pleasure grew. It felt like... like he was pressing against some invisible veil that separated himself from the rest of the universe, some membrane that had surrounded him unnoticed his whole life, defining where he ended and "everything else" began. As he built towards orgasm, he felt that barrier grow thin, blurry, caught flickers of light slipping through -- light? Or energy? No. Magick. Of course!

As he crossed the point of no return, the moment when his body knew ejaculation was inevitable and could not be stopped, time seemed to slow. The veil was so thin it could be said, in a way, to no longer exist. There was no perceivable difference between him and the universe, no dividing line, no barrier. Power from beyond flowed into him; not in a torrent as on the previous evening when he'd been linked with Johan, but in a confident, roaring, head-spinning rush all the same.

He opened his eyes (when had he closed them?) and with a small release of breath casually flicked one shred of that power cascading through him towards the candle.

It flickered to life, a steady flame.

Claudio's orgasm began, then, and he shot several streams of semen onto his stomach and chest, a few drops onto Benedict's sheets. He grunted in the pleasure of it even as he felt the magick recede, slipping away, as that invisible veil once again reasserted itself. By the time he was done spilling seed, he was just Claudio once again, one small piece of Creation that believed itself to be a separate and distinct thing. He knew, now, that this identity, this idea of separateness, was merely illusion. He knew as well that it was an illusion that could not -- outside a few moments of magickal climax - be easily seen through or dispensed with.

"Well done," Benedict said, emerging from the curtain. He was fairly bursting with pride.

"Indeed," Paelomon echoed, stepping forward to lay a comforting meaty hand on Claudio's shoulder, "You learn quickly. We are lucky in that." He grinned at Benedict. "He's a natural. But the risks remain. We must expedite his training somewhat, I'm afraid."

Benedict had brought a washcloth to his student and then, as he had once before the first time Claudio had attempted this test in his presence, started cleaning the young man up himself rather than handing him the rag. The student was struck once again at how naturally this was understood to be an act of service, a kindness, a gentle moment of care -- Benedict was proud of his accomplishment, and probably still guilty for his own perceived failures as a teacher. "I agree," he replied to the other teacher. "Claudio is up for it, aren't you, my boy?"

"I am," he said, and he realized as he said it how much he meant it. He wanted more, to go further into this new world of discovery.

"For now, focus on getting him to the Seventh," Palomino said, businesslike now, "He must master all the fundamentals. Pull him out of regular classes and into one on one lessons, he'll move faster that way since we know he learns fast. This is the rare instance where speed in instruction may prove less dangerous than slow and steady. We'll reduce your class load so you have more time, but I or any of the other masters can assist with the private lessons. The sooner he ascends to the Seventh the better."

Claudio was dizzy hearing all this, how his life was about to change, but Benedict merely nodded. "It will be done," he said, then added, "And further sex magick training?"

"Let him continue to practice self-pleasure for now, while he focuses on his other studies. But you are right, we should prepare now for the next stages. He'll need the right partner."

Claudio blushed a little despite himself. Wasn't he past all this blushing yet? He pushed through it and asked the question burning in his mind though. "A partner for what?"

Paelomon looked at him with a very serious expression. "For fishing, what else?"

The hairy man looked so humorless, and Claudio was used to only seeing his disciplinarian side, that he did not understand that this was a joke until Benedict laughed loudly. Only then, understanding, did Claudio laugh too. Master Paelomon made jokes? It made the big man seem far less scary somehow.

"The next phase of sex magick training involves learning to surrender to a partner, to allow them to give and control your pleasure. Rather like what Johan did for you last night, only more consciously and consensually," Benedict said, careful to avoid any trace of reproval in his voice, "Only by learning to receive pleasure safely in a magickal rite will you then be ready to learn to give it."

Claudio's mind raced with all kinds of possibilities about what that kind of practice would entail. His penis, deflated post-orgasm, began to grow again. Benedict saw this and smiled with understanding, making a point not to draw any attention to it and embarrass the boy.

If he noticed this reaction, Master Paelomon didn't show it. He was stroking his beard again, deep in thought. "We'll need to choose his practice partners carefully. Strong older acolytes or even young master magickers of the Eight Order. Of the right temperament, experienced, perceptive. Empathetic. Somebody who can quickly read when things have gone too far. Not necessarily even of the Sun, depending, but probably not of the Moon; a male magicker purely attracted to women may elicit less of a connection, but even then they might not be able to handle our Claudio's intensity. And also -- very key -- they must be magickers that he does not know well. That should help minimize the chance of the poor boy being overwhelmed again."

"A few names already come to mind," Benedict said.

"To me as well," Paelomon replied, "We'll compare notes later. For now, Claudio," and he addressed himself to the young man again, "Relax today. Recover. Your body endured far more than it was trained to and needs time to rest. Tomorrow your new coursework will begin and you will need your strength for it."

"Where will I quarter?" Claudio asked in a small voice, then was surprised to see his teachers' reactions. They had been so busy thinking of the bigger picture they hadn't thought of this mundane detail.

"We'll get you a single, on this wing near Benedict, I should think," Paelomon assured him.

"All the quarters in this wing are claimed," Benedict pointed out with some amusement.

"Somebody will move, then," the big man said forcefully and dismissively, and with such confidence and authority that Claudio believed him. You didn't say no when Paelomon gave direction.

"For tonight, you may stay here with me," Benedict assured his student, "We'll get it sorted out tomorrow." And Claudio was immensely relieved to hear he would not have to be alone just yet.

Later, long after Paelomon had left to resume his duties, after they'd eaten a fine meal and enjoyed a pot of tea, after they'd talked and laughed and played some silly games to distract the mind, Benedict and Claudio settled into bed together, the teacher holding his student protectively, tightly. As if promising himself, or so Claudio interpreted the gesture, that he would never let his student come close to harm again.

Claudio made a promise to himself too, his heart full of gratitude for the care Benedict had shown him. A promise that he would not, if he could help it, give his teacher further cause to fear, and that if he one day ascended to his fullest potential and became a Master of the Tenth Order, one of the strongest practitioners of the Commune, he would use that power to protect Benedict in return.

It was a promise he would have many reasons to remember, later.