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A Master of the Tenth Order, Chapter 5 By ThePhallocrat - questions or comments to: thephallocrat@gmail.com
Like a dog that has been too long kenneled, chafing at its confinement, and then running wild when finally freed, Claudio found his libido difficult to control now that it had found its way to his conscious attention. Did everyone in the Commune suddenly grow more attractive overnight? Had there really been so much passionate lovemaking between men happening all around him that he had just kept his eyes averted from?
Two days after his attempt at the sex magick test with Benedict, Claudio found himself on the Commune green transfixed at the sight of two young magickers, older than Claudio but still not yet full masters, their robes hefted up and each with their mouth on the other's erection, nursing each other simultaneously towards bliss. Of course, one could stop and stare at such a thing for only so long before that attention was noticed. The two men spotted shy but comely young Claudio watching them and broke off from their efforts to exchange glances and then smile at him.
"Come join us!" one said, waving his manhood invitingly at Claudio.
Just a few days earlier, Claudio would have run away at the very thought of such a thing. Now, he strongly considered it. He even took a step in their direction, and most likely would have found himself nicely enmeshed between the two handsome older men within moments had Johan not at that moment ran up to him, face flushed, oblivious to the entire situation.
"There you are!" his friend heaved, "I've been looking all over for you since I finished the latrines." Johan had been scrubbing the privies for days now, one part of his punishment for attacking the visiting preacher. "I need to talk to you, will you walk with me?"
Claudio tried not to look at the two semi-naked men who were still waiting for him, but felt his eyes dart in that direction unwillingly. "Of course, let's go," Claudio heard himself saying, with some disappointment.
Johan squinted. "Oh, was I... interrupting something?" He only now seemed to notice the two men, who had resumed their oral efforts. Johan watched with something like academic interest for a few moments. "We can talk later, if you like."
"No, no!" Claudio assured him. He may have grown in confidence, and he may have begun to embrace his sexual energy, but Claudio was still Claudio, and his concern for his friend always came first. "I was just, you know. Curious. Learning a thing or too," and he laughed nervously.
"That looks fun," Johan said casually, sending a thrill through Claudio's spine, even though it felt like his friend was just being polite. They began walking together, back towards their dorm.
"Before the cleaning today, I had a lesson with Master Paelamon," he said, "And I had a breakthrough!"
"You lit the candle?" Claudio exclaimed, excited and a little jealous.
"Oh, no," his friend chuckled ruefully, "Not THAT big of a breakthrough. But I felt on the cusp of something. I felt the magick flow into me... I just couldn't do anything with it before... before it was all over. You understand." Claudio nodded. "It was the first time I'd felt anything. The first time it felt... well, like magick. And not just like touching myself the same as always."
"Yes, a few days ago at my lesson, I think I felt something similar. It was... overwhelming."
"That's exactly the word!" Johan said, clapping his friend on the shoulder, happy to be understood. "All these years of nothing, nothing, and then suddenly... too much, too much!" He laughed. The relief of making some progress had put him in such a cheery mood that even scrubbing through the privies hadn't dampened his spirits. "I wanted to ask you... I have an incantation lesson now, but later tonight, may I have the room to myself? I need to try this again, strike while the iron is hot."
"Oh," Claudio blinked several times. "Of course."
"Unless you..." Johan caught himself, chewed his lower lip. "No, never mind."
Heart in his throat, Claudio jumped in. "Unless I joined you?"
"Yes. Only if you want. We seem to be stuck at around the same spot, maybe we could help each other? I've thought about it for a while, but I didn't want to suggest it."
"Why not?"
"You seemed terribly uninterested last time I asked," Johan shrugged, "I don't want to force you to do anything you don't want to, just wanted help in my studies."
"Uninterested!" Claudio couldn't help himself. Perhaps Johan's jovial mood was catching, since he found himself howling with laughter. His friend looked perplexed, brow wrinkled. "Trust me, I was interested."
"Oh!"
"So interested that it terrified me. To be honest."
He saw the understanding dawn on Johan's face, everything clicking into place. "Ah. Of course. Well, now I feel like a fool. I am truly sorry. For the terror."
Claudio just smiled and hugged his friend. "Benedict helped with that part. I'm ready now, I think you're right, I think we could help each other. We're both close to passing the test, I know it."
Johan looked relieved. "Study partners then?"
Claudio liked the sound of that a lot. "We'll be master magickers in no time, working together."
"Alright then! I'll see you after my lesson." Johan grinned widely and gave his friend a playful punch on the arm. "Go back and watch those two sucking each other, we need you good and worked up for our attempt later."
Claudio blushed but smiled back. "I don't think you need to worry about that!"
It was only after his friend had disappeared from view that it struck Claudio with full force just what he'd agreed to. Anxiety, excitement, dread, and joy surged through his body so quickly he couldn't separate one from the other. He went directly to bathe, scrubbing himself thoroughly and hoping the hot water would help him relax. It did not. He went back to their room and cleaned up a bit, expending some of his extra energy into chores. He paced restless to and fro, trying to calm himself with deep breathing.
Time ticked by slowly. Surely Johan's lesson should be over by now? Claudio set up two candles in preparation for their efforts. Then he stopped, frowned. Should he have set up for the attempt? Would that appear too eager? Feeling foolish, he put the candles and the small table he'd put them on back into their original places. He took up a book he was studying and laid casually on the bed, pretending to read, then sighed after a moment, having absorbed not a single word. Would lying here like this when Johan returned appear too UNinterested? Why was this so impossible? Why couldn't he just be normal?
Groaning in anguish, he tossed the book aside and sat up on the bed. He rose to pace once again and at that moment Johan returned, hair wet and fresh faced. He'd made a trip to the baths as well, it seemed. Claudio found he could not quite look at him without blushing, but Johan made no sign he noticed, just grinned at his friend and began settling in. .
"Sorry, quite a line at the baths this evening. Shall we?" Johan asked, sounding excited but not as excited as Claudio hoped he'd be. Not excited the way Claudio was. He had not expected him to be, of course, but it still was a slight disappointment. "I mean... Do you still want to try tonight?"
"Sure!" Claudio said, hoping he sounded eager but not too eager.
"We can do another night if you'd rather--"
"Johan!" Claudio laughed, "Are you getting second thoughts about it?"
"Just nervous I guess. And I don't want to... upset you in any way. I feel like I've forced you into this."
Claudio couldn't bear how sweet this was, the way the other boy worried about his feelings. It made him want to hug him tightly and not let go. Instead he grinned widely and said, "You haven't forced me into anything. I want to. I really do."
"Good, then, let's ... um, let's just get to it I guess?" And with that Johan began shucking off his robes and underclothes.
Claudio began to do the same, but he found his hands were shaking as he took off his clothes. "I've been naked in front of you a hundred times," he said aloud in exasperation, "I don't know why I'm suddenly nervous." He laughed, hoping humor at his own expense would break the tension.
And it did. Johan laughed too, then shocked his friend by grabbing his hand and holding it steady. "Of course you're nervous," he said, "Me too, like I said. But we'll conquer this, I know it. There's nobody I'd rather try with." The words were reassuring, but it was clear Johan thought only of the test and whether they could overcome it. Nothing else was at stake here for him. But that did at least imply a certainty on his part that their friendship was unshakeable, not to mention an intimacy that Johan shared with nobody else, and Claudio took comfort in that.
Johan was fully naked now, and Claudio eagerly took in the sight of the young man's beauty. It was true what he'd said early, it was by no means the first time they'd seen each other disrobed, but these days the sight never got old or any less surprising. Johan had been an unremarkable boy, awkward if anything. Puberty had worked its own kind of magick ritual on him, transforming him profoundly into a handsome man, so that overnight (it had seemed) Claudio had found himself best friend to one of the most attractive boys in the whole Commune -- which was certainly not something he could ever have predicted when he and Johan had first formed their bonds of kinship as young children.
Now Claudio found his body perfect in every respect, a true divine being in his own way, and that was on top of the feelings of love and friendship and admiration he'd always had for him. How could he ever express all that to him? He couldn't, it wouldn't be right to even try. The feelings were big, too big for words, nevermind the awkwardness it would no doubt summon up between them. Instead, he would swallow those feelings, those urges, keep all those unsaid things safely inside, clamp them down. He would honor his friendship and whatever intimacy was offered, cherish it and not ask for anything more.. And he would help his friend overcome this first test, he would do that much if he could. He would do anything to see him succeed, thrive, and be happy. All this passed through his mind in a moment, and he set his resolve accordingly. He meant it, he truly did. His intentions were pure. He would remember that and take comfort from it, later.
Now naked as well, Claudio found he was struggling to get aroused, too overcome by nerves. It had been like this at first in his lessons with Benedict.. But then Johan moved to set up the two candles, placing them, he noted with some irony, exactly where Claudio had set them earlier, before resetting his efforts. While arranging them, his friend bent over presenting Claudio with a face-on view of his beautiful backside and, as the cheeks parted, a glimpse of a pink and soft intimate spot betwixt them, one of the few places on Johan's body he had never seen clearly. Claudio found he had no trouble getting aroused after that. Johan turned, preparation complete, to find his roommate fully erect and throbbing.
"Ah, I see you're eager to get started!" he joked. If he understood that he was the cause of his friend's arousal, he didn't show it. "Okay, so, Master Paelamon encouraged me not to get too focused on the candle during this, and not to lose myself in fantasy about other people."
"Benedict is always telling me the same," Claudio nodded.
"So I'm going to be focusing on myself and on my own pleasure, with my eyes closed, that kind of thing," Johan continued, "But that doesn't mean I am ignoring you or that it doesn't matter that you are here. Having you here makes it feel more... important. Does that make sense?"
"Alright," Claudio said weakly, unsure what else to add. "Would you prefer me to not... look at you?"
"You should probably focus on yourself too," Johan said, flopping onto his bed, "But... I mean I guess I don't mind if you watch. Makes it feel more like when I'm practicing with Master Paelamon."
"It won't distract you?"
"Why should it?"
Claudio didn't want to explain that his desire for his friend could influence the ritual, it seemed that had not been a principle that had come up in his lessons. Master Paelamon must not have used the curtain, as Benedict had, to separate teacher from pupil. Perhaps Master Paelamon, being older than Benedict, was more practiced at restraining his desire. Or perhaps he simply did not find Johan very desirable -- though that seemed an insane thought. Who could not?
As they began their efforts, Johan did exactly as promised, sitting back on his bed, facing the candle, but closing his eyes and teasing himself into full arousal. Claudio tried to do the same, but found he could not stop looking over to watch his friend with curiosity. It was fascinating to watch his erection grow to its full length, to analyze the way his friend preferred to stroke it (so different from his own method! Much more attention to the tip), to study the looks of pleasure on his face. Johan liked to bite his lower lip, it seemed, whenever the pleasure rose within him, a mannerism Claudio found endearing and attractive. He imitated it, mirroring his friend's expression.
Then Claudio realized that he knew Johan liked to bite his lip specifically when the pleasure rose because he could feel that pleasure himself. As Johan's sexual energy built up, Claudio felt the echo of it -- as he had with Benedict many times before. He could even see a small stream of magickal energy winding its way across the room between the two of them, connecting them at their cores. Johan didn't seem to notice and didn't see the thread since his eyes were closed. Claudio wondered if he should say something, but didn't want to interrupt the beauty of the moment, which felt like nothing less than a dream come true. As much as he longed to do more, to be closer, the intimacy of their connection in that moment was perfect bliss. He wondered briefly if he was dreaming.
Abruptly, Claudio could sense the direction and tenor of Johan's thoughts. The magickal connection between them was deepening. His friend was attempting to focus on the here and now, on his own pleasure, on self-love, but flashes of distraction kept rocking his focus. They never stayed for long, as Johan fought relentlessly to return to the present moment, but with a voyeuristic thrill Claudio saw glimpses of his friend's sexual fantasies. Most involved women, including some girls Claudio recognized from the Commune, though some had other men present in group arrangements, albeit not engaged with Johan directly. The group scenes appeared to hold a special erotic thrill for his friend, and for the first time Claudio realized that, while he had spent their adolescent years largely ignoring the many sexual couplings taking place all around the Commune, Johan had been a frequent observer and rapt audience. He loved to watch and had often, Claudio now suddenly knew, wandered the grounds in search of sex taking place so he could watch from a distance and masturbate. Claudio felt somewhat guilty to have stolen this secret from his friend's thoughts without permission, but rejoiced to know him better. And so far Johan had shown no sign of noticing his attention -- perhaps he need never know what Claudio had seen in his mind. There was no need to embarrass him.
It occurred to him then that if he lost himself in his own fantasies, Johan might see those as well. Even fantasies that involved Johan himself. A nightmare! Claudio would have to move to a far-off continent and change his name if that happened, so he kept himself focused resolutely on his friend's thoughts rather than pursuing any of his own. Then, as if triggered by that very fear, a new fantasy of Johan's arose, and Claudio was shocked to see himself present: he and Johan were sharing a female partner together, first taking turns, then (even more of a shock!) sliding into the woman together in unison, their manhoods pushed tight against each other. The thought immediately escalated Johan's arousal, as well as Claudio's, and the echoes of those mutual arousals caused an immediate feedback loop that made the air of the room thick with magick. Claudio rapidly felt pulled into growing energy, his observations no longer distant and passive, and entirely unable to stop it.
Still Johan's eyes remained closed. He was sweating now, all his efforts engaged in wrestling his thoughts back to the ritual and away from fantasies it would be all too easy to lose himself in. He was trying to find himself and own arousal beautiful in and of itself, as they had been taught, but he was struggling. The struggle seemed even worse than Claudio's own mental obstacles, and for long moments of study, Claudio could not understand why that should be. Why should Johan, so confident, struggle more to love himself than nervous, anxious, self-doubting Claudio? It baffled the mind, and there seemed no logical explanation until suddenly there was, and Claudio gasped. The answer to the puzzle was clear and it explained everything: why Johan was still a virgin, why he had preferred to watch and not participate, why he never seemed to notice Claudio staring at him, why he had assumed his friend was not interested in masturbating together.
Johan did not think he was attractive! If anything, the young man felt he was rather plain, even ugly. Understanding this fact, absurd as it was, almost made Claudio run over to his friend's side and shake him angrily. Not attractive! How could he think such a thing? But he felt it through the bond now and it was undeniable that Johan truly felt that way. He had not taken any lovers because he assumed nobody was interested, assumed it so confidently that he hadn't ever questioned it. He had no idea how wrong he was, how much the other students of the Commune and even many of the Masters of both genders stared at him, how many would happily take him to their bed. He had no idea that his best friend and roommate thought him one of the most beautiful people in all the world. Well, it was no wonder then that he could not stay focused on his own pleasure. And it was no wonder that he had never, in all these years, passed his first sex magick test. Claudio understood the problem and how it was holding his friend back instinctively, immediately, without words, and suddenly he understood a great deal more about the test and about sex magick than he had before.
Gently, lovingly, Claudio began to send along new thoughts through the magickal link. As Benedict had once done for him, Claudio began to show his friend how others saw him. He allowed him to feel the arousal he himself felt when he looked at Johan naked, the dizziness he felt when he saw his friend smile, the joy he felt when his friend shared a secret he had told nobody else. With satisfaction, he noted how the distracting thoughts of others faded from Johan's mind as he began to enjoy himself in a small fraction of the way Claudio enjoyed him.
You are beautiful, Claudio's thoughts radiated towards the other side of the room. You are beautiful. To let his friend go on believing otherwise was not an option. He had to act. You are beautiful. And I love you.
By now, Claudio had ceased touching himself. While he was still stiff with arousal, his attention was fully on his friend, his eyes lovingly passing over every part of him. His stares took on a new level of intensity -- to look was to touch, in a way, as Benedict had often explained. As Claudio's eyes passed over one of Johan's nipples, for example, the other boy gasped and Claudio could feel how his gaze had sent a wave of sensitive delight through that nipple and into Johan's brain. Johan's pleasure was a living, tangible thing, something Claudio could caress, encourage, and manipulate at a thought. To do so was as easy as breathing.
Yes, he loved Johan. He knew that word was appropriate now. And to give pleasure to one you love was proving to be the most magickal act of all. He had no thought for his own pleasure, didn't even care if he achieved orgasm himself, had forgotten all about the candle and the test, was lost fully in the joy of sending pleasure and seeing Johan enjoy it. His thoughts escalated, carried away by the excitement of the moment, and he wanted to give more and more, he wanted Johan to scream with bliss. His mind caressed Johan's entire body: ears, lips, neck, hips -- but especially the sensitive areas: manhood, testicles, anus, every intimate spot Claudio had longed to touch for many years.
They were just thoughts. Weren't they? What harm could thoughts do?
Johan gasped aloud suddenly, overwhelmed. His eyes shot open, face vulnerable as it was wracked with waves of newfound pleasure. He was especially unused to the sensation of his back entrance being pleasured, Claudio could tell. The look of surprise on his face told that much even without the magickal connection, but though unfamiliar and unsettling he was undoubtedly enjoying it. For long moments, the boy could not even form words.
"Claaaudio," he breathed at last, quietly, "What are you doing?"
Now suddenly Claudio felt guilt. Of course Johan had recognized his efforts, knew their source. Had he truly believed his thoughts, his gifts, his efforts could remain anonymous? He had too much experience practicing with Benedict to have believed that. "I'm sorry," he said, and it came out like a whimper. He cringed and tried to turn away.
"Don't stop," Johan said suddenly, gasping, "Ohhhh don't stop."
Claudio's heart was pounding, magick beating through him wildly. "I..." he swallowed suddenly, both afraid and uncontrollably horny, "I don't think I can anyway."
The air in the room was as thick as molasses now. Claudio had never felt so much concentrated magickal energy outside of the most elaborate yearly rituals, and then wielded confidently by the Masters only. The magick flowing through him and into Johan was like a flood, a torrent -- more power than he had ever dreamed he could summon -- and he was not exaggerating when he said he did not think he could stop it. He would have no idea how to even try. He was swept along with it, and Johan with him. The other boy's orgasm was swiftly approaching and they both knew without having to say anything that it would be the most intense climax of his young life.
But Claudio found he did not want it to be over. Afterwards would come doubt, recrimination, more guilt, awkwardness. Now there was only blissful unity and pure pleasure without thought. Now there was the flow of power beyond any prior comprehension. How could he just let that go? Johan was moaning his name with eagerness, an intoxicating sound, a sound previously only imagined in his most intimate sexual fantasies. Oh, let it last a little longer, Claudio said to himself. And he found it was the easiest thing in the world to reach out with the magick and prevent Johan from going over the edge of bliss, to hold him there on the precipice. It was as easy as pinning a piece of paper to the wall with one finger. Johan cried out, desperate for the consummation of release, but at the same time thrilled by the ever escalating heights of pleasure. A detached and curious part of Claudio's mind wondered how intense the other boy's pleasure could become. What was the upper limit? He pushed him further upwards, determined to find out, heedless of any consequence. Johan had stopped touching himself, the magickal energy flowing out of Claudio providing all the stimulation he needed.
Eventually, Johan did scream, as Claudio had wanted, screamed loud and long and locked his eyes on Claudio's, wide with pleasure and terror. Magickal energy suffused them both and time seemed to stop -- exactly as Claudio had remembered from Benedict's demonstrations when he had shown him how to light the candle. Oh, that's right! The candle! He'd completely forgotten. He looked over at the two candles. They seemed such a small, inconsequential thing now. He almost laughed at how much trouble the little things had given them.
"Claudio," Johan squeaked out. He was pleading. He was begging. He was scared. He was exhausted. He couldn't take any more. He didn't want it to end either, but even that feeling scared him. He was losing himself. Claudio knew he'd gone too far and that it was time to let go and he tried. He really did try.
He both wanted to let go of the moment and didn't, and in that hesitation he messed it up badly. Claudio sighed, partially released -- and instantly Johan ejaculated, grunting as loud as a rutting animal as shots of semen fired over his head and hit the wall. Both candles exploded, disintegrating immediately, a ball of fire cascading upwards and causing the small table and that entire side of the room to immediately catch on fire. And a beam of pure magickal energy shot up and out across the Commune as loud and bright as if Claudio had summoned a volcano. Later, Claudio would learn to his chagrin that many of the other Magickers in the Commune, particularly those close to the blast, had immediately had orgasms of their own.
Now, though, his attention was far more occupied by the fire consuming the room. It blocked the exit and was growing rapidly. Johan was still orgasming, still kicking seed out in steady pumps, while trying to point at the flames in terror unable to form words. Claudio stood from the bed calmly. Slowly, with no hurry, and certainly with no thought to what he was doing, he stretched his hands towards the roaring flames and welcomed it into him. He'd done it before, when putting out candles or other small fires, but would never have dreamed of attempting it on such a blaze. But the inferno flowed into him as easily as if it had been a tiny spark, the flames diminishing as it went, leaving the room burned but no longer aflame, the fire transferred to a roaring sea of energy inside of him.
Johan stared open mouthed. "How?" he managed. He didn't need to say more. That had been powerful magick. Far beyond the capacity of a Magicker of the Fifth Order.
"I don't know," Claudio said honestly. Now with the fire boiling within him, his calm disappeared and there was fear. A lot of fear. "It's... in me now. The fire. I don't know... How do I get rid of it?"
Johan shook his head. He had no idea. This was magick far above either of them. Claudio had fearful visions of his body exploding with the constrained energy forcing its way back out, killing them both. It could happen. He had been warned of the dangers. And he could feel that explosion barely being held back inside, and knew those warnings were true. He found he was more fearful for Johan's life than his own at that moment, and eyed the windows. Johan saw where he was looking.
"Don't!" his friend shouted, moving to block the windows. He'd guessed Claudio was considering throwing himself out of one before causing his friend any further harm. He was touched by the gesture, but was prepared to push Johan out of the way if necessary.
But it proved unnecessary. At that moment the door burst open and a small group of Masters charged in, looks of concern and terror on their faces in various measures. At their head was Master Paelamon himself, the big bear of a man, hands raised ready to cast incantations, face as tense as though he were going to war. And at the rear, just peeking into the room, Claudio could see Benedict. Before he could say anything, Paelamon had taken in the full situation -- Johan exhausted and covered in semen, Claudio a quivering mass of constrained magick about to go off at any moment -- and ran up to Claudio, seizing him by the shoulders.
"Look at me," the Master Magicker roared, and their eyes locked, "You must let it go. I am here now. Let it go."
Claudio was using all his willpower to keep a tight grip on the fire inside, all that magick fighting its way out, unwilling to be held in check. He felt in his bones that if he let go he would literally explode. He shook his head. "I... I can't."
"I am here, I will take it, I will help you," Paelamon assured him.
Benedict called from the doorway. "Trust him, Claudio. You must let it out."
"Start with just a trickle if you must," Paelamon said, now stroking the back of Claudio's head comfortingly. He was putting on a kindly voice, but Claudio heard the tension. The man was scared too. "Let out a trickle into me, and then you will see it will be alright."
Rather like opening clasped hands just a crack, Claudio relaxed just enough that some magick could escape his body. He winced in preparation for an explosion but as promised he was suddenly surrounded by the warm, masculine, comforting scent of Paelamon's magick, seizing the released power of the fire and confidently guiding it into himself. Claudio was shocked at the skill and power to manipulate that much energy so easily. The art and craft of a true Magicker, one who could save him. He began to understand, then, that he was not going to die. He relaxed a bit more, and another wave flowed out of him and into Paelamon. Suddenly Benedict was at the other Master's side, adding his own buttress of magickal support and taking on some of the escaping energy as well.
"Relax now, Claudio," Benedict said, "We have you."
And hearing his favorite teacher say it was the final piece of the struggle. Claudio relaxed fully, felt it all rush out of him rather like the explosion he feared, but controlled, safe, caught in the hands of the two Masters. It was, he thought suddenly in his last few lucid moments, rather like the surrender to orgasm, the expenditure of seed. And perhaps he did ejaculate in those final few seconds, but so confusing was the sensation he would never know for sure. Drained of it all now, the boy wobbled unsteadily on his feet, then collapsed into unconsciousness, caught by the hands of his two teachers. In the sudden eerie silence of the room, Paelamon helped guide the student's head onto Benedict's shoulder, who held his pupil tenderly and exchanged a look of relief with the other Master. The large man was sweating profusely now.
"Holy hells," Master Paelamon breathed beneath his breath, just loudly enough for Benedict to hear. Then he turned away to reassure the others and to tend to Johan. Benedict was left cradling poor naked sleeping Claudio, murmuring words of reassurance the boy couldn't even hear, stroking his cheek. Waiting for his own heart to stop its furious breathing.