A Love Like This

By Stacia Marie

Published on Apr 18, 2000

Gay

Here's Chapter 6. Visit my website if you want to (url is on the announcement page). I hope you like it, any e-mails are definitely appreciated. Thanks for all the support!

Justin woke up grumbling. He had never been a morning person. "Josh?" he called when he realized JC was gone.

No answer. "Josh, where are you?" he repeated, sitting up. The bathroom door was open and the lights were off.

Justin couldn't quite shake the sadness that washed over him. One of the worst feelings was waking up alone but knowing there should have been someone next to you. It was like coming home to an unexpectedly empty house. It wasn't abandonment, but it sort of felt like it.

There wasn't even a hastily scribbled note on the pillow or any kind of explanation. Justin bit his lip, feeling stupid for feeling empty inside but unable to help it. This morning of all mornings. He was already nervous enough about the next couple of days. He was beginning to wish he had talked to Lance about it, but he knew he couldn't dump everything on him. That wasn't fair.

The door opened and JC suddenly appeared. "Good morning, sweetie. You're finally up."

"Where'd you go?" Justin asked.

"I went downstairs to have breakfast with Chris and Joey before we all went our separate ways. SOMEONE made me feel all guilty about neglecting our friends last night."

"Why didn't you wake me up so I could come with you?"

"I'm sorry, honey, I just didn't want to disturb you," JC explained. "You were sleeping so soundly."

"It's okay," Justin said, "but next time, you can go ahead and wake me up to tell me you're leaving. Especially since we're all going home for a couple of days and I won't see the other guys for a while."

"Sure thing," JC agreed, ruffling Justin's wild mop of curls.

"Are you all packed and ready to go?"

JC nodded. "Yup, all ready to see the family."

"Are you ready to tell them about - about us?" Justin asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, I am. I guess we'll see if I have the guts to follow through with it, but yeah, I think I'm going to tell my parents."

Justin bit his lip. "Honestly, JC, how do you think they're going to react?"

JC paused before answering. "Honestly, I think they're going to be shocked. No one ever thinks these things about their children, you know. But then they'll get over it and it'll be just like before."

"What if they hate me afterwards? Like I did this - like I made you this way?" Justin asked worriedly.

"How could anyone hate this face?" JC asked, putting his hand on Justin's cheek.

"No, seriously, Josh. What are we going to do if our parents won't accept us?"

JC sighed. "We'll come to that bridge if we have to cross it. Which I don't think we will. They're not going to reject us, Justin, I really don't think they will."

Justin was going to Washington D.C. to stay with JC and his family for their two-day, post-promotional, pre-tour preparation break. Justin would have gone home to his own family, but his mother was away as manager of the girlgroup Innosense, and his father was extremely busy with work that week. His little brother Jonathan also had pneumonia and no one wanted to run the risk of Justin catching it, too.

It was probably just as well. When he told his parents, JC wanted them to be able to see him and Justin together. He wanted them to see how happy they were. Justin had decided to tell his parents later. JC knew Justin wasn't ready.

"I don't - I don't know what my parents are going to say when I finally tell them," Justin said nervously. The prospect of telling his parents was enough to keep him up at night.

"Justin," JC said, "I know you're scared, it's okay. But your parents love you to death. They'll be okay with it."

"I know that they'll want to try to be okay with it. I don't know ... I'm scared. It's not that I don't have faith in them, but this is such a big part of me that they don't know, that they never knew. What if they think that I'm like a stranger to them now?"

JC cupped his chin in his hands. "Justin, you're not a stranger to them. Your mother carried you for nine months, she raised you. I've never seen a mother and son closer than you two. Your parents, all four of them - they don't only love subparts of you, like your sense of humor or your intelligence, let alone your taste in who you date. They just love all of you. You're not just my ray of sunshine, you know. You're theirs too."

Justin nodded and tried to let JC's words convince him. He sounded so sure.

"Are you ready to get out of bed now?" JC prompted.

Justin kicked off the blankets. "I guess."

Justin and JC said their good-byes to Chris, Joey, and Lance shortly after. Joey was going back to Orlando, Chris was going to Los Angeles to see Danielle, and Lance was going back to Mississippi. JC's and Justin's flight was departing first.

A taxi was waiting to take them to the airport. Justin hugged Chris extra hard. "Give some of that to Danielle for me, okay?" he told Chris.

"Sure thing," Chris replied. "I'll make her bake those cookies you like so much, and I'll bring some back for you, okay?"

Justin grinned. "Makes me hungry just thinking about it."

"Bye, Joey," JC said. "Tell your parents I said what's up."

Justin and Chris started to do their impressions of the Budweiser "wazzup?" guys. "No, no," Justin corrected, "you have to stick your tongue out more, Chris. Do it, Lance." Lance did his own imitation, triggering an eruption of laughter from the other four.

Chris turned to hug Joey. "Bye, Joey. I'll miss you. Have a good flight."

"But I'm not leaving for another four hours."

"Oh, right," Chris said, in his usual deadpan manner of humor.

After another round of hugs, Justin and JC piled into the taxi and waved a final good-bye. It was always kind of difficult to say good-bye to each other, even if it was for a short while. They spent practically every day together, and even if they got on each other's nerves on occasion, they still had that special love. It was more than just best friends, different than brothers - they just didn't feel complete when they weren't all together. They were a part of each other.

It was hard when they were apart and something happened that Justin wanted to turn around and tell Lance about, or when Chris thought of a great joke but he didn't have Joey there to crack it to. It actually kind of hurt. It was like waking up alone when you expected someone to be there.

The taxi pulled away from the front of the hotel and Chris, Lance, and Joey quickly became little dots left in the proverbial dust. Justin's uneasiness returned and he felt his stomach churn. "Here goes nothing," he mumbled to himself.

JC's mother, Karen, picked them up from the airport later that day. They managed to slip out of the airport unnoticed. Their vague and tired disguise of baseball caps and sunglasses had little to do with it. The airport was relatively empty of people who would recognize them, since it was filled mostly with business travellers.

JC picked Karen up off the ground and gave her a big hug. "Mom, I missed you!"

"I missed you, too, honey."

Justin stepped forward and gave Karen a hug as well. "I'm so glad you came, too, dear. More fun for us."

Justin smiled, but he wondered if Karen would be so glad he had come once JC dropped his bombshell.

Once they arrived at JC's house, Justin and JC went upstairs to put their stuff down in JC's bedroom and the guest bedroom.

"Justin, I'm going to tell my mother right now," JC told him.

"Right now?" Justin asked, with a deer-in-headlights expression on his face.

"Yeah," JC whispered back, almost conspiratorially. "I don't want to be here for a while, and then tell them after spending so much time keeping quiet. That just doesn't seem right. Plus, I'd rather tell my mom before my dad gets home, more of a one-on-one sort of thing."

"One-on-one? You don't want me there?"

JC couldn't tell if Justin was relieved or hurt or upset. "It would just be easier if I talked to her by myself. You know, get all of those how've you been sort of questions answered and then tell her how I've REALLY been and what's REALLY going on."

Justin nodded. "I understand. You're right, it would be better that way. I'm just going to fix myself a snack and you can have some time alone with your mom."

They went downstairs and parted ways as Justin turned into the kitchen and JC stepped into the living room where his mother was sitting.

"Hi, Mom," he greeted her.

"Josh, come sit down and fill me in on the past couple of months. How are you feeling? Are you holding up with all this new album excitement okay? Anything wonderful in your life you haven't told me about?"

JC smiled at his mother's enthusiasm. "Yeah, I'm doing pretty good, Mom. Lots of stuff going on, really hectic, that's what it is. Hardly get a chance to stop and look around every once in a while, but that's okay."

"You just seem so happy," his mother observed. "You have this extra spark now. What happened?"

Of course his mother picked up on that. JC didn't have to be grinning ear to ear or bouncing off the walls. She just knew. "Mom, I'm in love," JC told her with a slightly dreamy look on his face.

Karen smiled upon seeing her son's happiness. She didn't think that there was anyone deserved it more than he did. "Honey, that's so great! Tell me about her, what's her name?"

JC's happy expression faltered a bit at this question. He had to tell her. "Mom - it's not - it's not a her."

Karen looked confused. "What do you mean?" she asked. She processed JC's words in her head. "Josh, are you telling me -"

JC nodded without breaking his gaze away. "Mom, I'm gay."

Karen blinked for a nanosecond, and she halfway expected JC to look different when she opened her eyes again. But he didn't. She saw the same blue eyes that had stared back at her for so many years - the same blue eyes pleading for love, acceptance, and approval.

"Mom?" JC said, trying to get her attention.

Karen blinked again, and this time, she saw fear in his eyes, too. "Josh, you know I love you no matter what. You'll always be my little baby. I don't care that you're gay."

JC breathed a silent sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"So tell me about - him? What's he like? Where did you meet him?"

JC smiled faintly. "Mom, you already know him."

"I do?" JC was full of all sorts of surprises that day. "Who is he? Do I like him?"

"You more than like him, Mom. It's - it's Justin."

"Justin? Our Justin?" Karen couldn't hide her shock.

JC laughed. "Yes. Well, he's kind of more mine than yours."

They were interrupted by a yell. "Josh!"

JC's ears immediately perked up when he heard the tinge of panic in Justin's voice. "Justin?" he called, running into the kitchen.

Justin was standing at the sink with his hand under the running faucet. "Justin, what happened?" JC said, rushing to his side.

"I don't know," Justin answered. "I was cutting an apple into slices, and my hand just slipped and I cut myself."

"Is it deep? Let me see." JC held Justin's hand carefully to inspect it.

Karen had run into the bathroom to get some bandages and rubbing alcohol. "Here, honey," she said, setting them on the counter next to JC.

"Thanks, Mom," he said, still focusing on Justin. "Does it hurt a lot?" he asked.

Justin shook his head. "It looks worse than it is, really. I'm okay."

Karen stood back and watched them. She smiled to herself at the concern in JC's voice and the adoring way that Justin looked at him. Watching them standing by the sink, seeing how they loved each other ... That was what she had always wanted for her children - to find things, and more importantly, people, that made them happy. If anyone was going to have her son's heart, she couldn't think of a person better than Justin.

The bleeding started to slow down and JC turned the water off. "You have to be more careful, Justin," he said. "I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I know, I'm sorry," Justin said.

"It's not your fault," JC said gently. "I just get worried about you, that's all." He finished securing the band-aid on Justin's finger.

"All better now," Justin said.

JC took Justin's hand and brought it up to his mouth, lightly kissing his injured finger. "Josh," Justin said abruptly, his eyes shifting in the direction of JC's mother.

"It's okay, sweetie," JC told him. "I already told her. She knows."

Justin didn't know how to react. Karen stepped forward and enveloped Justin in a big hug. "Now it's like I have three sons," she said.

Justin closed his eyes, mostly because he knew if he opened them, tears would fall. His fears that their parents would turn their backs on them were slowly disappearing.

"So it's okay with you?" he asked quietly.

"Oh, honey," Karen replied, "you two are perfect together."

JC was leaning against the counter, his arms folded across his chest, watching their exchange with a sparkle in his eye.

Karen let go of Justin and turned to JC. "You lovebirds run along and have some fun. I'm going to make dinner."

Justin threw the apple slices in the trash and walked out of the kitchen, followed closely by JC. Karen touched his arm as he passed her. "We'll talk some more later?" she suggested.

JC nodded. "Sure." He dropped his voice to a quiet whisper. "Mom, what do you think Dad's going to say?"

Karen smiled a bit - a sad smile at the apprehension that laced JC's whisper. "I think your dad will be as happy as I am."

JC kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Thanks, Mom."

Karen knew that he was thanking her for more than those reassuring words. He was thanking her for loving him no matter what. But he was her son. Of course she loved him.

Chapter 7 will be coming soon. Thanks everyone!

Next: Chapter 8


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