Jim and I were college roomates, best friends and as close as two guys could be. We used to joke that we were so close that the only way we could ever get closer would be to start "sleeping" together, but that was never going to happen. When we would sit and drink, just the two of us, listening to our rock albums and solving the problems of the world, the talk would sometimes turn to sex, we were young men, and we would agree that the day would come when if we didn't stop spending time with only each other, we would end up having sex. This was the eighties, anything goes type stuff. We were so close, closer than brothers, I imagine. Then we would tumble into Jim's bed and sleep it off, sometimes waking up with our arms around each other, his head on my shoulder, my arm across his waist, but nothing more. Jim always said that when it was time, when he was ready, he would say so, I think he knew that there would be no argument from me. Jim was always the more macho of the two of us, more athletic, better looking, taller, stronger, straighter. I was artsy, open minded and small of stature, I guess we both knew that I was more likely to "come over to the dark side". Whenever we discussed homosexuality, he was vehemently opposed and I was understanding. Over the years I managed to open his mind somewhat to the point where he even told me once about a wet dream he had involving us together, man, that was the turn on that caused me some crises, caused me to see him as more than a friend, to get turned on by him, to dream of him, for the first time.
Caused me to see him as a potential homosexual partner, a new thought that took some getting used to.
But he did turn me on, and no man had before, and never has since. Just this one fucking guy who seemed to be unaware of the effect he had on me. If he knew, I'm sure he wouldn't have kept teasing me.
But nothing happened, ever, just talk. And then we drifted apart for 20 years, until last spring when we found each other on e-mail.
I had been married for 18 of those years, with three kids, Jim had been married, divorced, no kids, and was living with a girl back in our home town. Not long ago I had occasion to be in town on business, so after I visited my parents, I looked Jim up in the phone book, called him and said I was coming right over.
We greeted each other with a big hug, Jim was always the best hugger, he would squeeze me so tight, and my face always ended up in his chest. His girlfriend was out of town on business, so I wasn't going to get to meet her this time.
After catching up, and getting used to the way each other looked now, receding hair lines, a few grey hairs, a few laugh lines, a couple of pounds heavier, we put on some classic rock CDs and had a few drinks and set about solving the problems of the world. Not long into the evening, I knew that if I had too many more drinks I would not be able to drive. A few drinks after that, I didn't care. Sometime later, Jim realized it too and told me I was going to have to stay the night. No argument from me, it would be just like old times. I called my wife and told her my plans just in case she tried to call me at the hotel and I wasn't there. We kept on drinking and talking and enjoying each other's company.
In the wee hours of the morning, I told him I was bushed and I had to get some sleep because of my meeting in the morning and the long drive ahead of me after that. I asked him if I could take a shower, he said I could go first and then after his shower he would go over the sleeping arrangements.
I got under the warm spray and started to chuckle at being once again drunk in Jim's shower. Leaning against the wall, I looked down and saw that my dick was starting to rise at the exitement of seeing him again, I started to stroke it then I stopped myself. So many times after sitting up drinking and talking with Jim I found myself so horny that I had to jerk off in the shower just to make sure I didn't do anything to him in my sleep that would cost me my friendship. Jim had to have known, I was in there so long and he always got a cold shower because I used up the hot water. There was no way I was doing it again tonight at 45 years of age, with him waiting outside the door for me to finish. Besides, I hadn't locked the bathroom door, he had one of those see through shower stalls, and there was no way I was going to get caught yanking it if he decided to walk in. We never locked the door when we lived together, either of us would just walk in even if the other guy was in the shower, sometimes just to talk, or say goodbye when we left for school. There was never any inhibitions about being naked in front of each other, nothing sexual about it all, just natural. I turned on the cold water, which made my hardon go away, but only made me more awake and more horny. I stepped out of the shower and looked at myself in the full length mirror on the back of the bathroom door. "Not bad", I thought, and wrapped a towel around me, sucking in my waist just to be sure I looked good in front of Jim. I had kept myself in good shape, working out, jogging.
I looked good and in some way Jim and I were still competing in spite of our friendship.
I opened the door and Jim was just coming out of his bedroom in his robe, with a towel around his neck. He told me to wait for him in his room, he'd only be a minute.
I went into his room, and the memories flooded back, this was unmistakably Jim's room. He had none of the old furniture he had when we shared an apartment, but the style was all him, so different from me. One thing we had always agreed on was how much we liked and respected each other, and over time that had grown into love, which we freely expressed to each other when the situation called for it. And always we agreed that it wouldn't surprise either of us if one day we would have sex together. Some day. Some day. Jim once said that when we were all grown up and married, our wives would have to understand when we went up north to a fishing cabin together once a year, without them. I guess the idea was that we would keep our affair over the years, but we still weren't doing anything except talking about it, and I was getting more turned on and confused every day. Did he want me to make a move or not? Why didn't he ever make a move?
I was lost in my memories when Jim came into the room, shocking me back to reality. He was wearing only his towel, carrying his robe which he threw over a chair. He looked great! I thought I had kept myself in shape, this guy looked ready for the cover of one of those men's magazines. He always did look good, but man, this was incredible. Nice biceps, good pecs, smooth stomach, great thighs and calves, and rock hard glutes. In the dim light of the bedside lamp, it was almost too much to take in, and Christ if I wasn't getting turned on again. He walked over to the other side of his bed, and told me I had a choice. He was too tired to make up the pull-out couch in the computer room, but I could do it if I wanted to; or I could just crash with him. I said I would just crash with him, I'd done that enough times before, and asked to borrow a pair of gym shorts to sleep in. What happened next was just the first of many surprises for both of us.
Jim dropped his towel and got into bed, naked. He propped himself up on one elbow, the sheet down to his waist, a smile on his face, he looked like a god. "It's time for you to fish or cut bait, Jay", he said.
"You never could make a move when it came to me. Are you getting into bed or not?" I hadn't seen his dick, I had no idea whether he was hard, or just slept in the nude. Was this going to be sex, or was I once again being teased? Sometimes I can be so naive. But I was still plagued with fear even after all these years, what if I made the wrong move and got outed? Jim was the only guy who had ever turned me on, the only guy I ever dreamed about or really wanted to have sex with.
I wanted to protest, but it was true, I never had made a move, and he knew I had jerked myself off 3 times a day when we lived together, because of him. He knew. My dick started to fill up, and I felt queasy with excitement. After 20 years, was this really happening? I dropped my towel and jumped under the covers before I got a full hardon, I didn't want to look like an idiot standing there with my dick sticking out. And I lay there not knowing what, if anything, would happen next.
Jim reached over and turned off the lamp. More memories! Jim just had to have everything pitch black when he slept, he had the blinds down here and there was absolutely no light in the room. I couldn't see a thing. I swear my heart was pounding so hard he must have heard it. He got back up on his elbow, I could feel his breath on my face as he looked down on me.
"The truth is, Jay, I was ready a lot sooner than you think, you just needed to make your move. I knew that would take you some time, I was prepared to wait, but I had no idea it would take this long. And I'm still waiting..."
Suddenly I reached up in the dark, and grabbed him by the back of the head and pulled him down to me. I kissed him forcefully on the lips, another first. I just wanted to shock him, make him stop talking, show him I could make a decision. I figured either this would surprise him enough to shut up and let me get some sleep, or he would realize he had pushed me too far, teased me too much, and I was getting serious, and we might end up in a bit of mutual masturbation and that would be the end of it. At this point I didn't really care anymore which it would be, but I hoped that he wouldn't discover my raging hardon if he had no intention of doing anything about it. I let go of him and broke the kiss.
He leaned back, and I waited. He surprised the hell out of me when he came back a second later with a passion, and started kissing me like we were a couple of teenagers in the back seat of his car. He shifted so that he was laying on his stomach, across the bed on an angle to me, he moved his arm under my neck, and layed across my chest. In this position I could only put my free arm around his back, and I discovered I could only reach down as far as his ass. Any time I started to explore, he made no move to accomodate. It was like he didn't want me to touch him. Jim, on the other hand, had me flat on my back, pinned down with free access to my body, which he was proceeding to take advantage of.
His hand moved down my chest, my side, my hips, across my stomach, the inside of my thighs, all the while he never stopped kissing me deeply. I felt like such a woman, completely at his mercy, not a little scared. Finally he brushed my straining erection with the underside of his forearm, he let out a little chuckle, then wrapped his whole hand over top of my cock and balls. I let out a moan, so did he, and he started to feel by bag, my pubic hair, he started to stroke me. It was all too much, and I couldn't breathe from the excitement, neither could he and we finally broke the kiss. He panted into my neck, then started to kiss my chest, down my stomach. He freed his arm from under my neck, and I just laid back on the pillow, massaging his back, head back, gasping for air, totally in disbelief. My best friend, the guy I had wanted forever, was about to go down on ME, not the other way around. In all my fantasies and dreams, I had never once considered that I would be on the receiving side, it was always supposed to be me doing him. It was more than I could take. He hadn't even moved into the classic 69 position, he was just going to let me lie there while he did me. And then his tongue found my penis, my sac, and after some nuzzling and teasing, he took my cock into his mouth.
It was more than I could take, and after a few minutes of fellatio I just had to have him too. 20 years and we're finally getting it on and I still hadn't touched his cock, hadn't seen him erect, I had to have it. I pulled him off me and I said, "let me." I rolled him over on his back, got up on my hands and knees, and started sucking and kissing and licking my way down him like he had done to me. He had a good grip on my cock and balls, and was massaging me the whole time. After a long route around his inner thighs I decided to take the plunge, and I grabbed his erect cock with my hand. It seemed huge, but I couldn't see a thing, and I supposed everything seems bigger in the dark. It's not like I had a lot of experience with other guy's erect penises, I was only used to mine in my hand. I had never seen Jim with an erection, flaccid he was about my size, maybe a little bigger or smaller, I had never given it any thought. I decided that I didn't care if it made me officially gay, I was going to give him a blow job. I took a deep breath, then went down on his cock.
He never let go of my genitals, squeezing them, pulling them, massaging me, masturbating me, but Jim never made an attempt to guide me into the 69 position. Instead he just let me bob up and down on his dick, at first with my hands on the bed beside his waist, but as I grew bolder, holding on to his cock and jerking him while I sucked. Occasionally he'd interrupt, "teeth" or "easy", until I got the hang of keeping my mouth open that wide, that long. The secret was to relax.
After a while it all started to get a little mechanical, and my neck was getting sore. I took a break and laid down beside him, he never let go of my cock, and stroked me slowly. "Tired?", he asked. I told him I needed to try something different. So I set up the pillows against the head board, laid on my back, and guided him on to me. His knees were on either side of my chest, his thighs in my armpits, and I gently took his erect cock into my mouth again. Now I could control him a bit, hanging on to his ass or his hips, and he had to pump me instead of me going up and down on him. Besides, this way my tongue was on the underside of his cock, which to me always feels better, and I wanted to give the best blow job possible. He pumped in and out of me, and we took a few breaks when my mouth got sore, he would sit back on my lap and rock against my cock while I kept him up, jerking and feeling him. I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, it felt so great.
When we resumed after my break, he told me he was close, and he wanted to finish up with no more breaks.
He said he'd let me know when he was going to come so I could stop sucking him if I wanted to. I honestly didn't know what I would do, it was a little scary. Jim started pumping my mouth, and this time it felt different, like he was on a mission or something. I could feel his breath on the top of my head as he bent over, I could hear him moaning quietly, and then he started to say "Oh man" and "Jesus" and "Oh fuck" and then "soon, soon,oh man, I'm gonna come!" I decided to ride it out, even thought at this point he was ramming it into my throat, I could feel his balls against my chin, my nose was pressed into his abdomen, in his pubic hair. I squeezed his ass hard, and reached up his stomach and grabbed his pecs. He held on to my head, let out a noise, and then I felt the first spurt of hot come shoot into my mouth. I hesitated and then the second shot came, and I knew I had to start swallowing fast. By then it didn't make much difference because he was shooting straight down my throat, and I was determined to not gag or back off at all, I was going to take it like a man. He just kept repeating "Oh fuck" until finally he slowed down.
I did my best not to move at all, I didn't want to touch his sensitive head with my tongue or my teeth, I knew how that felt. His cock started to go limp in my mouth, and he pulled it out and then fell over on the bed beside me.
I just lay there gasping for air. "You need to go to the bathroom, Jay?" he asked, "you can spit and rinse in there." I think I surprised him when I said that I was OK, he thought I had a mouth full of come, but like a true fag, I had swallowed it.
"That was the best, man, thank you!" Jim said in the darkness. I just grunted, exhausted and shell shocked. I felt his hand on my semi hardon. That surprised me, I thought we were done. It never occurred to me that he would want more. "Your turn, man, but I don't think I can do for you what you just did for me. Not this time."
"Your turn, relax and enjoy, let me..." He put his arm under my neck, and slowly masturbated me with his free hand. You know, all the things I've done in bed and I still enjoy a good handjob once in a while. This was one of the best, not to tight a grip, and a steady consistent motion. Soon I found myself burying my head into his neck and arching my hips as I shot buckets into the towel he had put over my stomach. He kept stroking until he was sure I was done, then gently cleaned me up.
I fell asleep in his arms. The next morning I got up and hit the showers. When I came out, he was in his robe in the kitchen, making coffee. I got dressed and met him as I said goodbye, wondering if we were supposed to not mention last night. He handed me a travel mug of hot coffee, and gave me a hug. "That was a long time coming, let's not wait another 20 years."
I don't plan to.