Hi all, Goodness, it's been a long time, hasn't it? sorry for not updating, but life's been hectic and occasionally shitty. That'd life, i guess.
When i first came to the archive i had absoultely no idea where to start, and i've been lucky enough to find some really great stories. Can i really recommend these to absolutely everyone? I've tried to give little summaries without giving away any of the plot (they're in no particular order. I've probably forgotten one or three, but anyway)
Some of these people i have emailed to say "I love your stuff", but some i haven't, i'm afraid - i think i'll just have to put it down to laziness. Sorry. So if I haven't emailed you (and, of course, if i have), i just want to say: "I LOVE YOUR STUFF!!!"
2 out of 5 - An NSync story - can i just say that i think the kinky bits are
a bit of a laugh. Especially as the boys seem so innocent in the
press [i'm talking about one in particualar, you'll have to read
it to find out who i'm talking about :) ] N Sync saga - Fantsy fiction; i am a bit of a fantasy devotee anyway, but
really this is a great story Justins Secrets - would you believe it, this is a Justin story! Well, among
others... Can i say that i love the Joshua twist? Nick and Justin - This was (I think) the first story i read, and it is still
one of the best in my estimation. Mike, you are a star! :) still breathing - By the same author as N&J, good story. One to watch :) My surprise Romance - GABRIELLA, I LOVE YOU!!!!! (Private joke). READ THIS
STORY NOW! IT IS VERY GOOD! AND GABRELLA IS AN ABSOLUTE SWEETHEART! Because I love you - but before you read that, read this one: it's got nicky
in it and it is a truly BRILLIANT story. I can't recommentd it enough Nick and Brian - Yay, Nicky again! Good story, covering a few more bands than the
name might suggest; i'm not telling you anymore. Interestingly written;
i can't remember reading another story in the present tense. Decieving secrets - A BSB story (they're definitely not as common as N'sync
ones, are they?) Go read it. And i would just like to say to the author,
THANK YOU! You've made me very happy - gossip's a wonderful thing, isn't
it? :) Going with the flow - I love this main character! i'll admit to having worked out
who he was from quite early on, but i'm not telling - read it yourself! Justins dark angel - This is one of the best-written stories around. I'm looking
forward to clearing a few hours to actually read the latest part! Gene - I ownt say who the main character is, but i think it's rather obvious,
really. I really like this one. come on brent, type faster (yes, i know,
coming from me that is really hypocritical, but do i care?). xtreme Nsync - I stubled onto this one a few weeks ago and read the whole lot in
an evening. Another fantasy one, though (so far) based in this world NSYNC: Lance n JC - i hae to say that this is probably THE Lance&JC story. I
really love the Gloria bit!!! Open Arms - Very well written story. You need to read this one Forever in my heart - This story deals (dealt?) with some unpleasant issues, but
i have to say i admire the author for it. We seem to have moved on from
them now though, and i am really looking forward to see how the story
progresses; looks good so far! 'N Sync Saviour - another one that deals woth issues, and a very good story for it!
Matt, i'm so glad you've decided to keep on writing! Bring your own BSB - Don't really know what to say, except this is a great story,
read it! Now or Never - I like this one. Haven't read it in a ahile but it is another good 'n Fixing the backstreet boys - Great ending; I'm so glad that you did put that last
chapter in! boy meets BSB - any story that can keep ME up until 4 in the morning reading it has
got to be good. If you have't read it you haven't lived. READ IT Search and rescue - This has got to be one of my favourites. Sweet, tender, touching
and very funny Model Romance - i dont know what i can say without ruining it, but this is a good
story (hence the recommendation, duhhh!) Read this one and for a different
twist, read Zack's other one: The Darker Path - Going into fantasy land here! The One - Interesting plot twist alert! i was expecting something peculiar, but i
wasn't expecting this :) Go read this one.
This is my one to watch section. These are all pretty new stories - and very good. mile high meeting - NICKY!! Nice little story this one Hot and humid - Currently it appears to be a Justin story. what it may develop into,
who knows? Go read it (PS - great title)
I would just like to echo Lucas (of because i love you) here - NICKY FANS UNITE!! In case you hadn't noticed, i'm a bit of a nicky fan (well, who couldn't be?) I LOVE NICKY I LOVE NICKY I LOVE NICKY I LOVE NICKY I LOVE NICKY I LOVE NICKY sorry, just needed to get that off my chest.
Big thank you to Gabriella, for being a darling. Big thank you to Mike, for being a great writer and helping getting me started. Big thank you to Lurch for being a great help/proof-reader/editor/person-who-shouts-at-me; i have just ine thing to say to you - INSOLENS REGINA. And i MEAN Regina :) Thank you to those who have emailed me about my baby, here. However, i am in desperate need of some adoration, so could a few more people e-mail me please. I have to admit, adoration is preferred, but any comments, critiques or stuff telling me how to rite better is gladly appreciated :) [that typo was deliberate, by the way. honest.] All comments to: I-really-am@2cute4u.co.uk Please, talk to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After that major bout of verbal diarrhoea (i think that's how you spell it), on with the story!
All the best,
John
Disclaimer: i wish i did know them, but i don't
i wish it was true, but it isn't
if you're too young, you should go away now (yeah, right)
if you dont want to be here, then why are you?
At Last: A LITTLE BIT OF LOVE - PART 3
Nick was obviously trying to get away from him, trying to lose him in the dense undergrowth of the woods. Justin was finding it difficult to keep up and so decided to change tactics. As they entered the woods Justin slowed down, attempting to be very quiet whilst paying very close attention to where Nick was going. He saw Nick slow down as he approached a large tree and then disappear behind it. He quickened his pace, hoping to get there before Nick regained his breath, if that was the reason he had stopped.
As Justin came closer to the tree he heard the quiet sobs. They touched his heart in a way he didn't understand; he would have been more comfortable if Nick'd been bawling his head off, shouting and screaming, but Nick's gentle cries and whimpers possessed more fearful, heartbroken emotion that anything more vocal could.
Nick heard him coming and pulled himself to his feet in anger. "Leave me alo-" he began to shout.
Justin felt his heart thump. Nick didn't want him there? "Do ... do you want me to go?" he managed to force out in tones like that of a scared child, with a wrenching feeling in his chest.
There was a pause. Justin felt sick, although not understanding why. Nor did he understand why he felt so relieved when Nick whispered "No", just as he was about to turn and leave, with tears beginning to well up in his eyes.
He felt like cheering, but just replied solemnly "I'm glad."
"Are you?"
How could Nick doubt him? He felt hurt, more than he could entirely comprehend. Why did Nick's disbelief affect him so? More, why WAS he glad? Puzzled, he simply answered "Yes."
"Why?"
Ah, that was the 64 million dollar question, wasn't it? He wasn't quite sure; however, Nick wanted him to stay, didn't he? Maybe it was for the same reason. He could but hope. "Why don't YOU want me to go?" he returned. For some reason his voice was unsteady.
"Because ... because ... I just ... I want you to stay with me."
Yes! That was the answer he'd been searching for! He just wanted Nick to stay with him! "And... And I want you to stay with me," he returned, for some reason needing to take a deep breath. But he felt that something more was needed, and obviously so did Nick.
He seemed to be struggling with himself, trying to force it out. Justin waited at his side, listening intently.
"Forever?"
He barely heard it. Yet in a strange way he felt that there was no way he could NOT have heard it. The question stunned him into realisation. He felt his eyes begin to tear, and saw that Nick's were also brimming. However, what surprised him more was that he didn't even have to think about his answer:
"Yes Nicky. Forever."
The two boys stared at each other for what seemed a blissful eternity together, neither knowing what to say, nor wanting to do anything to spoil THEIR moment. Tears continued to trickle from their eyes, tears of unbelieving joy. Slowly Nick raised his right hand to Justin's face, but stopped it before it touched, as if unsure whether he could, and fearing that if he touched him it would all turn out to be a dream. Justin leaned forwards slightly, and contact was made. Nick took a deep, shuddering breath. Justin felt so... REAL. Nick couldn't believe it. Justin was really here! Justin wanted to be with HIM!
In response, Justin raised his own hand, slipping it behind Nick's neck. He gently applied pressure, and their heads moved towards each other. As their lips finally met they closed their eyes, savouring the sensation; their arms gently wrapping around each other's torsos, their embrace tightening. Justin gasped inside at the feeling of having Nick in his arms, of kissing him and having the kiss returned. The feel of Nick's lips on his was like nothing he had ever experienced. It was... it was... he lacked the words to describe it. The feelings it evoked in him amazed him, and, had he been capable of rational thought, would have scared him. In that moment Justin understood.
Physically, it ended; mentally, it lingered on. Justin opened his eyes to see that Nick still had his closed. He hadn't moved. The eyelashes fluttered, revealing the sapphires hidden beneath. They simply stared at each other, not a word spoken.
When Nick remembered how his vocal chords functioned, the most appropriate thing to say seemed to be "Um..."
The right side of Justin's mouth turned upwards, and Nick laughed nervously, briefly; "Well, what do we do now?"
Justin's smile grew a little awkward. "I was hoping you might have some ideas there, Nicky."
"Oh.... Well, I suppose getting to know each other might not be a bad idea."
They both laughed at the inanity of the remark. They slid down to sit at the bottom of the tree. After an initial hesitation, they held hands. "OK, then. Who goes first - you or me?" Justin asked.
"You decide."
"Well, I know all about me, so why don't you?"
Nick laughed. "So, um, where should I start?"
"The beginning is customary, I believe." Justin deadpanned
"Smartass. My full name is Nickolas Gene Carter, I have a younger brother, Aaron, and four sisters, BJ,..."
"OK, OK, how about you tell me something I haven't read in a magazine?" Nick grinned in reply. Somehow the fact that Justin had been interested enough to read about him made him feel good inside. Needless to say he could probably quote articles about Justin himself. "Err..." He was suddenly at a loss. Where could he begin? Justin watched in silence. "I'm really starting to look forward to the tour, now."
"Starting?"
"Yeah. It was getting difficult enough hiding from the other guys. I mean, I was finding it difficult to do something simple like watch the T.V. with them. I mean I was so afraid that they'd see something, I'd do... something to make them think I was..."
"Gay?" The question was softly spoken, and Nick simply answered with a nod.
"Yeah. I... I was so afraid they'd find out, and then what would I have? Nothing. No band, no guys - they're like family to me, more than family. I'd have no-one." His hand tightened around Justin's.
"You have me now." The grip relaxed, and Nick flashed him a dazzling smile.
"Anyway, I was really worried about coming on tour with you guys. I was having trouble enough keeping myself under control before; what was it going to be like with the five of you in exceedingly close proximity? You especially..." He smiled again. "It seems those fears were quite realistic." After a little reflective pause he continued "What about you?"
"Bit of a different story, I'm afraid. When I was twelve or thirteen, I started... started to ... well, I started noticing guys. Before that, really - I mean, I've always found guys attractive, but I started noticing." Nick nodded. "I thought that it was wrong, that I mustn't be like that. Like this. And so I made myself go out with girls and stuff. I forced it down because I felt I had to. I was scared not to. I had thought I had done it. I thought I had seen the last of tha... of this." He looked at the leaf-strewn floor of the wood. He felt Nick's palm grow cold and looked into those crystal blue eyes. However hard Nick was trying to surpress it, Justin could still see the fear there in his eyes. He felt his own eyes grow heavy with moisture, blinked repeatedly, and smiled gently. "Can't understand why now."
Nick let out the breath he hadn't known he was holding, and Justin squeezed his hand. He drew a deep breath. "What are we going to do, Nicky? About the others, I mean."
"You know, I've never let anyone call me 'Nicky'."
"I'm sorry. If you'd rather I didn't-"
"No, I rather like it coming from you." They smiled at each other. "I don't know what to do. If I did, I would have done it long ago. The guys are my best friends, but, I mean, Brian... he's been my best friend for years but he's really religious. REALLY religious. He'll probably tell me to burn in hell or something."
"I don't think we have much choice," Justin said soothingly, "We're just going to have to tell them the truth and pray for a good reaction. I think we just let the cat is out of the bag , and we're just going to have to deal with it. But if worst comes to worst, I'll be here. Always and Forever."
Nick sniffed. "What about you? What do you think the guys of 'N Sync will do?"
"I don't know. Just like you, all I can do is hope. I think JC will be all right, as we've been friends for absolutely ages, but the others I'm not so sure of. Lance is very religious too."
"Yeah. I heard about that."
"Well, we can't sit here forever. We'd best be getting going."
The two of them stood, neither letting go of the other's hand. "Just? You happen to remember which way to Lance's house?"
"Yeah, I've been here before."
As they approached the boundary of the wood, Nick stopped. "Much as I'd love to never let go of you, we can't be seen in public like this." The deep sense of regret in his voice was apparent. Justin nodded slowly; he didn't like it either. But they both knew this was something they were going to have to get used to.
"Any ideas what that was about?" Howie asked. Since Justin and Nick's departure the room had sat in a stunned silence.
There was a chorus of negative replies, but Brian remained silent. "Brian? Brian, what was that about? Has Nick told you anything?"
"I don't know. No he hasn't told me anything."
"Then what's your guess, Sherlock?"
"Look, I don't know, AJ. And even if I did, it would be for Nick to tell you."
"Brian."
"No, Kevin, I don't know for sure and I'm not going to make a fool of myself just to satisfy your curiosity. They'll be back soon, I'm sure, and then you can pump Nick about it to your hearts content. Ask HIM!"
"He's right, Kevin. And Brian, take a chill-pill."
AJ suddenly found himself on the receiving ends of two Looks, though one was tempered slightly with gratitude. He just grinned.
At this particularly opportune moment, the phone rang. Lance ran to pick it up.
"Oh, hi Ross... really?... alright, I'll pass it on. Bye."
"Good news, gentlemen. Ross has managed to wangle a bit of free time in his schedule to see us this afternoon, so he'll be able to fill you in on all the tour details."
"That's good news - but what are we going to tell him if Nick and Justin aren't here? For that matter, what are we going to tell him if they are here?"
"I don't know, Kev. We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it."
Walking side-by-side, Nick and Justin slowly progressed down the street. Neither spoke, but each could sense the others nervousness as they approached Lance's house. As they turned the corner, they saw a figure seated up against one of the gateposts. His legs were spread out across the pavement, his head and back resting upon the post and his eyes closed. Nick stood stock-still. "Brian." He whispered.
The seated figure turned his head to the two boys and smiled. "Good of you two to show up."
His mouth dry, Nick replied "What are you doing out here, Brian?"
"Kevin's being all 'responsible'."
"Oh."
"Exactly, he's having a minor tantrum in there. Nobody's worked out why the two of you ran off, and he seems to think I might know something. In the end it was either hit him so hard my knuckles would hurt for a week or come out here and keep an eye out for you."
"Nobody's-"
"No. I've got an idea, but I haven't told anyone. Is there something you'd like to tell me, Frack?"
"Lets just go inside, Brian. I don't think I can do this twice."
"Alright. But please remember - I will always be your friend, no matter what. ALWAYS." He got up from his seat, and grinned at the relief on Nick's face. "But I am a little jealous that Justin has taken away my play-mate."
Brian laughed at the comical look on Nick's face. "Yes! I love being right!"
"But... but... the church..."
Brian's face turned solemn. "Nick, I don't know about the church, but... in the end I think it's between you and God, and none of my business." He shuddered. "I mean, it's not for me or anything, it's like, YUCK! But you're not me and we shouldn't judge people by our own rules and standards."
Nick hesitated and then enfolded Brian in a hug. "Are you trying for sainthood or something?"
"Well, it gives me something to aim for." Brian replied as he returned the embrace.
Nick buried his face in Brian's shoulder, whispering "Thank you, I was so scared, thank you so much..." as he wept.
Brian just rocked Nick gently, not letting him go. "You don't have to worry anymore, I'm here." After a while, Nick lifted his head and looked Brian in the face. "More importantly, I'm having trouble breathing, and I've got a soggy shoulder. Go dampen Justin's clothing, you're not my problem anymore."
Nick laughed. Justin had been standing off to one side as they had been talking, looking a bit out of place. He smiled as Nick turned to him. Brian watched as they too hugged. And hugged. "OK you two, give it a rest. Time to go and see the others."
Brian almost laughed at their expressions. They looked like two schoolboys pulled up before the headmaster, as they pulled apart and stared at the floor. "I should have said this earlier, Justin, but I'm here for both of you, you know."
"Thanks, Bri."
"No problem,"
They walked up the drive to the house together. "Lance has got a nice place here, hasn't he?"
"Oh yeah. It's his pride and joy."
As they approached the door it was flung open. "Thank God for that! Brian, is your cousin always like this?" JC asked in horror.
"No, he's just grumpy. He didn't get much sleep on the flight here."
"Good. If he was I can predict him not finishing this tour in the same way he started it. With particular respect to breathing."
They walked into the living room, Justin and Nick with a noticeable hesitancy.
"NICK! Whe-"
"KEVIN!" Brian barked, "Sit!" A faint smile played about his mouth. "Stay!"
Kevin blinked, and sank back into his chair. "I know you've had a hard day, but so has Nick. Now cut him some slack, shut up and listen!"
Nick felt his habitual shyness take over as he found himself the focus of the whole room "I... I... er..." he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"We have something to tell you all."
"And?" AJ prompted.
Nick closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm gay."
The room went completely silent.
"And so am I."
The room somehow became more silent.
"I get the feeling there's more?" AJ asked, surprisingly unruffled.
"Yes-"
"You mean, the two of you..." Chris turned to look at Joey, and he did the same. They started sniggering.
Suddenly Chris yelled "Traitor!"
"JC, JC!" Joey joined in, sounding like a child after his mother's attention.
Then together giggled out "Curly's sleeping with the enemy!"
"I am NOT!" Justin replied, his and Nick's faces turning an interesting shade of pink. "Well, not yet, anyway." Nick's pink face progressed to a gentle crimson. After a moment, Justin's joined it.
Joey's eyebrow shot up. "Really? Then where have you been all this time?"
By this time the colour had progressed to more of a magenta.
AJ decided that he should stick his oar in too. "I just want the two of you to know that you can rent your own rooms on the tour, 'cos I am NOT sleeping in the room next to you two. I know how vocal Nick gets when he's happy."
Brian looked at the two blondes critically. "Is it actually possible for people to die of embarrassment, do you think?"
"I don't know," Howie replied sagely, "but for the good of mankind it might be worth finding out though, mightn't it?"
AJ grinned evilly, and opened his mouth, "-"
"Don't, AJ, or I'll have to use our secret weapon."
The raucous comment which followed this really does NOT bear repeating. There might be ladies reading.
"You asked for it," Nick said as he pulled Justin round and kissed him deeply.
'We're definitely getting better with practice. And practice is definitely fun!' Nick thought, smiling to himself.
"Aaaarrrggghh!"
"Get a room!"
"Uuuurrrgggghhhh!"
"Yuck!"
Howie satisfied himself by simply making retching noises.
The two broke the kiss and turned to the three who had not yet spoken. "Um, Kevin, are you OK with this?"
Kevin chose his words carefully. "I don't think that that is the question Nick. Are you OK with this?"
"Yes, Kev. It's who I am."
"Alright then. I wish you both the very best, but I've got to warn you - you're going to have to be very careful, not just for your careers, but everyone's. And-"
"We know, Kev!" Nick knew the signs, and moved to head off a 'Kevin', as the BSBs called his lectures, before he got too involved to stop.
"OK." He stood up and enfolded Nick in a hug. "Little Nicky's growing up, isn't he Bri? Oooff"
Nick removed his fist from Kevin's gut. "Don't you start."
"I hope you're prepared for him, Justin. He's terribly violent, you know." Kevin wheezed out.
"I'm sure I'll manage." He said with a smile. Then he turned to his remaining band-mates "Um, Lance? JC?"
The two of them hadn't moved. They were both sitting there with near identical expressions, looking for all the world as if someone had just smacked them between the eyes with a hammer.
"Justin, you've been my friend since the MMC; I'll always be here for you, buddy."
"Me too." Lance looked down at his hands. 'Should I tell them...' lance pondered to himself. 'Can I do it?'
There was the sound of a car pulling into the drive. Lance changed what he was going to say. "That's probably Ross." Hurriedly he stood and headed towards the door, to regain his composure before anyone noticed. He felt ashamed of himself. Justin and Nick had found the courage to tell the others; why couldn't he?
The others heard him from the hallway. "Hi Ross. Glad you could make it."
"Me too."
Lance entered the room first. "I suppose I should make the introductions. Ross, this is Kevin, AJ, Howie, Nick and Brian. Guys, this is Ross."
The two bands chorused a "Hello."
Ross' gaze swept the room, coming to settle on Brian. Brian himself had gone rather stiff, and was staring at Ross. A golden-eyed gaze locked with a blue, and Ross smiled.
As if from a great distance, Brian heard AJ say something in amusement.
"Oh, not again..."
Suddenly, Brian felt a lot less sure of himself.
Oooh, minor cliff-hanger! Once again, please, please, please (please?) tell me what you think. Where do you think i am going? where do you think i should be going? Tell me, tell me, TELL ME! As if you could forget, the address is: I-really-am@2cute4u.co.uk