Hello all!
Just a little piece for your pleasure. Don't read if you're not supposed to and all that. And if you enjoy, please tell me about it.
Thanks,
Adelhardt
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A Little Bit About Me, Alex
It's not that I was ugly. I wasn't. I was a little girly, maybe, but not ugly. But still it was always all about my sister. Nothing I could do.
Actually it wasn't all bad. I was OK about not being in the spotlight all the time. I liked my privacy. But sometimes I just wanted to scream. I mean, I did in fact exist, but no one seemed to know it.
When I was a few years younger I'd gone through a phase of crying, shouting and throwing things around just to get attention. It went on for a few months. Then I stopped. I guess I realized it wasn't worth it.
I didn't hate my sister. I just didn't love her. We never spoke or did anything together. She was beautiful with her long, blonde hair and blue eyes, and she got straight A's on her way to what would undoubtedly be a first class diploma from medical school. She was also on her school's swim team and basketball, and she was good at both.
Me, I wasn't good at any kind of sports and I did my best to stay away from them. I was shorter than her. My hair was a mousy brown, straight where hers was curly. I didn't have her talent for numbers and letters and got mediocre grades in school, except in drama and other more 'artistic' disciplines which I enjoyed. They didn't count for much in our house, though.
I had nothing, she had everything, but she could keep it for all I cared. There was only one thing of hers I craved. Her boys.
She dated many boys, sexy, beautiful and great. She rarely kept one for very long, and she never had any problem replacing the old when wanted a new one. I'm pretty sure she had sex with most of them. I don't blame her. I would have.
I never had a boyfriend, though I wanted one. I never had any offers, and anyway I wouldn't want one just to have him. I wanted someone special I could love.
Don't roll your eyes at me. I was young...
I never had a girlfriend either. Never had to. That's where being invisible came in handy - I didn't have to hide anything, because no one was looking anyway. I feel sorry for boys who have girlfriends just so they can pretend to be something they're not. I feel sorry for the girls too. At the time I was so lonely a girlfriend sounded pretty good, though.
Even when my sister went to college things didn't change, because we lived so close to her school that she just kept living in her old room. I was 16 and still in high school.
When I got depressed I reminded myself that things could be a lot worse. I did have one good friend. Well, one friend, period. But she was good. Sylvia was her name. I called her Syllie.
I sometimes wondered if what attracted us to each other was the fact that we were both outsiders. I guess it was. I didn't like to think so, though. I liked to think we were a match made in heaven, that we would have ended up friends no matter what the circumstances. I was a romantic.
Sylvia was a medium height redhead, somewhat overweight, who wore heavy black makeup and strange old clothes which made her look, in her own proud words, like a "forest witch of old". She was a romantic too. She was also a lesbian, something neither of us talked about even though we both knew that we knew. Like with me. We never talked about that either. In stead we'd sit in my room and smoke pot or drink and talk about the world and our dreams, and other people, reveling in our own wisdom. One of the things that made our friendship work was the fact that we both knew we would never, could never fall in love with each other.
Sylvia was a weird girl. Still is. She had self esteem problems - we were a perfect match in so many ways - but she loved to sing, and she was good at it. It was important to her that I loved her singing. We would sing together. I could carry a tune but she was so much better than me, but it was great for both of us. We would sit together and play our guitars and sing for hours without being interrupted. My room was so far away from my parents and my sister that they never heard, or if they did they never said.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays Syllie worked in a pizza joint, all afternoon and again at night. I was alone then. I missed her, but she had to work or she'd have no money. Her parents weren't that wealthy and only barely managed to put their two girls through the school I was in. They thought it would give the girls better chances in life. My parents sent me there because my sister had gone and because it was done in their circles. They could well afford it. They gave me plenty of money, too, I guess so that they wouldn't hear from me, so I didn't have to work. That suited me fine. I preferred to just stay at home away from other people.
Mike was the latest in a long line of wooers, just another handsome face and sexy body. I admit, the first time I saw him I thought he was probably the most attractive guy I'd ever seen, but that was it. I knew he'd be gone in a few days, weeks tops if he was really good in bed. There was no feeling there on my part. That would only come later.
I was sitting on the stairs outside tying my shoe. The shoes were nice, my favorites, but I had to retie them all the time.
When I was done I looked up and saw my sister and this guy. That was normal, but he was not. Tall, slim, nicely muscled - but they all were. It was his eyes and his smile that set him aside from the rest. His eyes were warm and brown and his smile was friendly and open. He had dark brown hair that shone on the early autumn sun. He was stunning. I felt a rush of instant powerful attraction.
"Hi kid," he smiled.
"Hi," I mumbled, fighting to be unimpressed. I looked down which was a mistake, because the sight of his tan legs didn't help any.
"Mike, are you coming?" my sister asked. She'd ignored me.
"Sure, wait up." He ascended the stairs to the door. "Nice meeting you, kid," he said. His voice was a little raspy, quite deep. I felt myself get hard.
"Yeah," I nodded.
"I guess I'll be seeing you around," he smiled before disappearing through the open door.
"Don't count on it," I whispered. I knew my sister. Some new stud would catch her eye next week. I would definitely not be seeing him around for very long.
Turns out I was wrong.
I saw him a few times the next week or so. He was over for dinner one day to meet the parents. I guess he thought that was a big deal, but it wasn't. They all came over to meet the parents.
During the meal he was charming and polite. His brown eyes sparkled and he was smiling most of the time. He even tried to engage me in the conversation a few times, but no one helped him, including me. I was hard as a rock all the time. My mind was flooded with images of kissing him, licking his lips, his ears, smelling his hair.
"So Alex," he said. Alex is me, in case I forgot to say. "I guess school started again?"
"Yeah," I replied unenthusiastically.
"Too bad, huh? Especially with this weather we're having. Can you believe it?"
I stared at my plate. Would he please stop drawing attention to me?
"How are your teachers this year?" he persisted, ignoring my sister's efforts to get him to talk about her classes.
"OK I guess," I mumbled, still not looking at him. His voice was driving me crazy, but I wanted to run away.
"I had one once in algebra, Mrs. Steinweber. We all hated her. She was a sadist! I used to throw little balled up pieces of paper at her when she had her back turned. Course I got caught." He grinned.
"Yeah?" I asked, looking up. My eyes met his, and I felt funny and warm. I couldn't help but smile back at him. He was beautiful.
"She called my dad," he continued. His eyes opened slightly wider, never letting go of mine. I was mesmerized. "She started complaining, but my dad just said 'If MY son threw paper at you I guess you had it coming' and hung up."
I felt myself grinning. I guess his dad was proud of him or something. I couldn't imagine what that was like.
"I must say," my mother gasped theatrically. "Did he really?"
"Oh yes, ma'am." Mike nodded. "He knew her because she taught him when he was in school, you see. He had wanted to do the same."
"Well," my dad mumbled. "Algebra is so important, though."
"Yes sir," Mike said. "They put me in another class."
"And you finished it? What grade did you get?"
Here we go, I thought. I'd long since gone back to staring at my plate. Now my dad would start interrogating him about his grade average etc. Even though we all knew that Mike would be gone next week. Well, all of us except Mike.
It had been an exhilarating few moments when Mike talked to me. I felt great. But the low afterwards was as low as the high had been high. I wanted to get out of there. This was a ritual I didn't want to witness.
I excused myself - no one protested - and went to my room. I jacked off because Mike had had me hard for a long time, and then I called Sylvia. We spoke a few hours before I hung up.
I also saw him coming home with my sister one day and leaving some time later, maybe a few hours. No one had to tell me what they'd been doing. When he left his hair was messed up and he smelled of sweat. I liked it. It was sexy.
He looked very satisfied when he passed me on his way out. "Hey, Alex," he smiled. "How's it going?"
"OK," I mumbled. I had a wild flash in my mind of him taking me in his arms and kissing me. Wow. Then again, did I really want to taste my sister in his mouth?
Talk about an unwelcome thought.
"What're you reading?"
I held up my book. It was from school. He rolled his eyes in sympathy.
"Can you let me out the back door?" he asked. "I have my bike out there, but I can't operate the lock." He looked slightly embarrassed.
"It is a little tricky," I acknowledged, wondering when he'd tried unlocking it. Seemed he'd been in the house more often than I knew.
I threw down the book and went with him. His smell of sweat wasn't offensive, quite the contrary. It smelled nice, to me at least. But I thought she could at least have let him shower before throwing him out. Nice images... water running over his body.
"Thanks, kid," he smiled when I unlocked the door.
"Don't call me kid! I'm 16!" I whined. "I may look like I'm 10, but..." I looked down, blushing from embarrassment.
"Hey, I'm sorry," he said, suddenly serious. He grabbed my shoulders. The smell of him was overpowering, but I wouldn't look at him. "I'll remember, OK? I didn't mean it like that."
"K," I mumbled, cursing myself for sounding like a kid when I was trying to tell him I wasn't one.
"Besides, you don't look 10," he grinned, the humor back in his voice. "You look at least... 13. 14?"
I grinned, looking up. If anyone else had said it, even Sylvia, I'd have been hurt, but when he said it I could laugh. I knew he was right. I was even shorter than my sister, for heaven's sake.
His eyes sparkled. They were beautiful. I don't know how long I smiled at him and said nothing, but he eventually made a move to leave, and my trance was broken.
"Well, I'll see you around, kid-OOPS, Alex!" He grinned at his own joke and poked me on the arm.
"Jerk," I grinned. "Where's your bike?"
"Over here." He pointed to the grass. "I have to really step on it. I'm late." He went over and picked up the bike, unlocking it. With a wave he got on it and pedaled away.
After that encounter I allowed myself to think of it as a crush. Not that he wasn't an asshole like the rest of them. I was sure he was. But there was something...
The real shock was when he was still there three weeks later. That was unusual. I'd been sure that since I actually liked him he would be kicked out in two days. I was wrong. And it didn't take a genius to figure out why.
I'd walked by her door many times on my way to the garden, and I'd often heard sounds from when she had sex with her partners. But it was usually muffled. This time when Mike was there it wasn't. She was huffing and wailing, so I guess he was good. He had to be to last two weeks.
It was great seeing him, but it hurt me to know he was fucking my sister. I wanted him to fuck me. I'd realized when I dreamt about it and woke up all sticky. I hadn't had a wet dream in years before that.
That day when I heard her I did something I'd never done before. I kneeled down and looked through the keyhole. Sounds perverted, looking through my sister's keyhole, but I wasn't looking at her. I wanted to see him. I hope that's less perverted. Anyway, I didn't see anything. The bed was at a wrong angle. All I could see was the curtains by her window to the driveway.
I didn't go into the garden like I'd planned. I turned around and went upstairs to call Sylvia. She'd suggested we drink that night, but I'd declined because we only had rum which I hate and she loves. Now I'd changed my mind. I wanted that rum.
"I'm thinking of changing my hair to blue or green," Syllie said. "What do you think?"
She was wearing a green corduroy skirt and a red blouse with many bracelets and necklaces. Her hair was her natural red at that time.
"I don't know. How about black?"
"Hm. Would be nice. But I don't want to look like a goth." She poured us new drinks. "I really shouldn't, I'm so fat already."
"Shouldn't what?"
"Drink."
She was overweight and it was a touchy subject. There were many touchy subjects with the two of us. But we could talk about them if we had to with each other, we both knew that.
"If I can drink rum, so can you," I said, downing my glassful. It tasted horrible but I was getting the buzz I wanted.
"You're so lucky," she started. "You're so skinny and cute and all." She looked like she'd swallowed a lemon when she said it.
I looked at her. I'd never thought of myself as cute. I didn't want to be cute, I wanted to be big and strong. A man, not a boy. "Please tell me you're not going to jump me," I said, trying to turn it into a joke.
"That's never going to happen!" she giggled. "Sooo never."
I grinned back. "I hope not."
"Let's sing," she suggested, picking up her guitar. "I want to sing all night."
"We have school tommor--"
"Fuck school tomorrow. Sing." She poked me with her feet. "Sing. Sing."
"Alright," I sighed. It would take my mind off Mike. And his eyes. And smile. God.
He must have heard us or something because he knocked on my door an hour later. Syllie and I looked at each other. No one ever come to my room.
"Come in," I yelled.
Mike stuck his head into the room. "Wow, you guys are great!" he grinned. "Can I come in?"
"Sure," I said before Syllie could say anything. I think she was flattered by what he'd said about the singing, or she would have told him no in a second. She didn't like guys very much.
"I don't want to interrupt or anything," he said. "I didn't know you had company, Alex. Your sister fell asleep and I thought I'd see if you wanted to hang out or something."
"Well he's busy," Syllie said, strumming her guitar. "We're practicing our duets," she continued in case he didn't get the message.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Mike said, getting up from the floor where he'd plopped down. "I'll leave you alone."
I wanted to hang out with him. But I loved Syllie and I really didn't want him in there with us any more than she did. It was for us. It was private. There wasn't room for him.
He smelled nice, fresh from the shower. His hair was black from the water and not shiny copper like usual. I wanted to kiss him, and I wanted him to leave so Syllie and I could sing.
"See you," he smiled. "Tell your sister I went home if she asks, OK?"
"Sure," I smiled. She would never ask me something like that, of course.
He closed the door.
"Is that your sister's new toy?" Syllie asked.
I nodded.
"Oh Alex," she whispered, stroking my cheek gently. I realized that she knew what was going on, that she'd seen it in me in just those few minutes, because she knew me so well. It was a relief that she knew.
I pressed my eyes closed to keep in a tear that threatened. Then we went back to the song and said no more about it.
Even after three weeks Mike was still there. That was miraculous. The longest she'd kept a guy that I could remember was five weeks, and that was long ago. Most of them didn't come back after the first visit. I didn't go back to her door to hear if she was still as vocal, but I assumed she was since he was around.
He would hang around me more. Once when I was watching TV in the TV room he came and sat down next to me. Normally I'd watch TV in my room but my parents weren't home, and the screen was bigger out there.
"Hey, KID," he grinned.
"Hey Mike." I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling.
"So, KID, what're you watching?"
"If you quit that I'll tell you."
"K." He leaned back and spread his arms. Unfortunately he wasn't sweaty, but he smelled nice anyway. I looked at his profile. Handsome. Wow. He'd cut his hair a little shorter. I liked it.
"Do you want a drink or something?" I asked.
"Sure, Alex. I'll have a coke if you have."
"Coming up." I ran to the kitchen and got him a can. I was halfway back when I turned around and got him a glass and put come ice in it too. I thought about a lemon slice but decided that would be too much.
"Thanks," he smiled when I came back.
We watched a little TV and talked a little. I was beginning to think he was a nice guy and not just a good-looking one. I felt funny, dizzy almost. I decided it was sexual desire.
"Your sister is reading," he informed me. I came crashing down. Why did he have to bring her up?
"Oh," I said.
"I guess I should go back in there." He put down the empty glass. "Thanks for the soda and the company." He patted my shoulder, which should have been a thrill, but it was all ruined by then.
I didn't respond, so he just left. I didn't want to be around when they were having sex even if I couldn't hear it, so I ran out and walked to Syllie's house. She was at work as I knew but I just sat in her room and looked at her stuff. Her mother didn't think it was weird. She knew how we were. Well, at least it wasn't any more weird than she'd expect from either of us.
That same Friday when he came over my sister still hadn't come home, so he went with me into the garden. The sun was warm and it was nice, but the air smelled faintly of autumn and a few of the leaves had fallen.
"This is nice," he sighed, reclined in a white wooden chair next to me.
I nodded. It was. He was.
"You guys have the best garden. It's so big!"
"Yeah," I mumbled. Actually the garden was what I liked best in our house. I spent a lot of time in it in the summer.
"It's like you could get lost in it," he continued.
Yeah, that's exactly what it's like, I thought.
"What's in the back? Is there more you can't see from the house?"
"Yeah. The trees shield it. Want to see?" I got up, eager to show him something good in that house.
"Sure."
I took him on a tour. There were plenty of small corners where no one could find you, and I knew them all. He seemed to enjoy it, and I wondered if perhaps he'd grown up without a garden.
"Maybe we should go back," he finally said.
"You tired, old man?" I teased.
"Hey! I'm no more old than you are a kid," he grinned.
"Well how old are you?" I asked boldly.
"25." He smiled. "Is that ancient?"
"No." I shook my head.
"Hey, is that a tree to climb in?" he asked excitedly, pointing.
"Used to be," I replied. "When I was a kid."
"Which you aren't anymore." He laughed. "Come on, I want to see."
He was fascinated by it, but we didn't climb up. He was probably too heavy for the branches. Instead he caressed it with his hands, and then leaned back against it grinning at me.
"I love trees like this," he said.
I stood maybe two feet from him. He looked into my eyes. His were full of joy. It was startling, like a blow to the stomach. I could smell him. Oh God.
I tried to fight it and there was nothing I could do and I tried not to and I couldn't help it, but I kissed him.
I leaned in and touched my lips to his.
He was too beautiful, too wild and wonderful for me to not do it. I had to.
He stiffened. His eyes opened wide.
I pulled back, maybe more startled than he was. I almost didn't even feel it, didn't register the feeling of his moist lips on mine.
It should have been wonderful, but he looked so... surprised and baffled.
I gasped.
"Uh... maybe we should just look at the trees, and..." He trailed off. "Look, I..." He sighed.
I didn't need more. I turned around and ran as hard as I could, out of the garden.
"Alex, come back! It's OK!" I heard him shout after me, but I kept running, panicking. I was sure my life was over.
Syllie took one look at me and brought out her whisky bottle. Probably not the best solution, but I was grateful.
I gulped some down.
"Here," she said, handing me some chocolate. She'd eaten some of it. I looked at her.
"So I ate a little," she mumbled defensively. "You're not the only one with problems."
I took a bite. It doesn't mix well with whisky but I kept up the intake of both.
"Anyway, you could do with a few pounds on that bony little body of yours," she went on. "Whereas I..."
I handed her the rest of the chocolate and sat down in her unmade bed.
"What happened, Alex?" she asked, plopping down next to me and putting an arm around me.
I sniffled. "I kissed him, Syllie."
"Oh." She didn't need to ask who. "Did he freak?"
I shook my head. "But I ran. He didn't... want me." I could feel tears coming on.
"Oh, Alex. His loss." She didn't say more but just held me. I was grateful. No words could make things better, but her being there made it almost bearable.
I wasn't worried that he'd tell everybody. I didn't think he would. But I didn't know how I could face him again. I was just such a dumb... kid. That's what I was.
I spent the night with Syllie in her bed. I was half awake most of the night, images of Mike dancing in my mind. He was beautiful, even frozen with surprise.
Four weeks and counting.
I was convinced he was the greatest lover on earth. He had to be. She was near her own record.
Seeing him again was awkward. I shied away from him when I saw or heard him coming, but I couldn't avoid him forever.
Fate, and Mike, caught up with me after I'd parted with Syllie on my way home from school and was walking up the long driveway. He was on his bike and stopped when he reached me.
"Hey Alex."
"Oh! Hi." I looked away, blushing a bright red.
"So." He hopped off his bike.
I wished myself far away.
"You OK?" he asked.
"Uhmm... look," I began. "I'm sorry, I don't know what-"
"It's OK," he interrupted. "Forget about it."
Forget about it? That was the only thing I could never do.
"I don't blame you," he grinned. "I am pretty damn irresistible."
Make a joke of it, why don't you, I thought.
"Alex? It's OK. Really. It's cool."
I looked out of the sides of my eyes at him. He looked serious but not mad. He wasn't looking at me but straight ahead.
I went back to studying the gravel.
My sister came out the door when we came near the house.
"Mike, come on!" she yelled, waving him closer. He grinned and winked at me, then went to her.
I felt like crying.
The following days he would poke me sometimes or wink at me, like we had a secret or knew a joke the others weren't let in on. I knew he was just teasing me, but it felt horrible. Finally I thought he'd forgotten when he hadn't said anything all Thursday, but Friday he came knocking at my door.
I let him in. Not that I really wanted to, because I was afraid of what I'd do and what he'd say.
He came closer to me, and I backed away until I was almost against the window sill. He was smiling.
"You know, I aim to please," he grinned. "And I think you got substandard service."
What's he talking about? I thought.
"I think I owe you one," he said. He moved even closer until there wasn't a foot between us. I was scared, but he didn't look angry.
Then he leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. I gasped and jerked away, but his hands caught my head and he held me still. I felt his tongue push lightly against my lips, and my hormones kicked in and I opened my mouth to let him in.
His tongue felt big in my mouth, and he tasted better than I'd ever imagined. He tasted so good. I started to get really into it, closing my eyes. Shivers ran through my body and my arms found their way around his neck. I drank his saliva.
I was so hard me must have felt it against his leg. He was too close to miss it. The way he moved his tongue against mine almost made me cum, like I had no control at all, which I guess I hadn't.
Someone moaned.
I realized it was me.
He had a slight stubble which scratched my chin. Oh God.
I felt my knees buckle.
Then he broke the kiss. I fell down on the sill, out of breath and perplexed.
He grinned and wiped his mouth. "Was that better? That's what you wanted the other day, right?"
I nodded, dazed.
"You're a natural." He looked at me like something puzzled him, then smiled again. "Well, I left your sister in the shower, so I'd better get back. K?"
I felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on me. For the first time in my life I wished I had tits. Big tits, like my sister.
He must have seen it on my face. He hesitated. His smile had faded. Then he turned around and left. I wanted to stop him, to have him kiss me again. I ached for it. But I saw him disappear and I knew his beautiful body would soon be on top of hers. I wanted to vomit.
Why couldn't he be on top of me?
Mike didn't kiss me again, and he didn't mention it either. But he hung out with me more than before. He'd drop by and sit down with me in my room or in front of the TV an hour or a half before my sister came home. I liked it, even though it was painful. I dreaded the sound of her coming through the door, because then he would leave and the things I didn't want to think about would happen in her room.
That Wednesday when they neared five weeks I was in front of the TV with some homework. Mike hadn't come, and I was heartbroken. Now there was no time before my sister came home.
When I heard her voice outside the door I perked up. At least I'd get to see him.
But when she came in she had a blond guy with her. He was fit, obviously muscular. They both ignored me as they walked to her room.
I was crushed. She'd finally dumped Mike and I'd never see him again. Syllie was away with her family visiting an aunt they hoped to inherit so I couldn't go to her. I ran to my room and locked the door, more for the psychological effect than because it was necessary. Locked or not, no one would try to open my door.
I buried myself under the blanket on my bed and stayed there all day and all night.
The next day, Thursday, I ditched school. When I finally crawled out of bed and out of my room to get something to eat, Mike was sprawled on the couch in front of the TV.
"Mike!" I gasped. "What are you doing here?"
"Gee, could it be that I came to see my girlfriend?" he asked, grinning.
"But I thought..." I began. Then I realized that she hadn't dumped him, she'd just cheated on him. Maybe I would see him in the future too.
I felt bad for him that his girlfriend did that to him, but I was happy to see him. I felt myself grin.
"Nice boxers," he laughed.
I looked down, seeing my favorites with the red bears on them. I blushed. Kid's underwear.
"Sit down," he encouraged, sitting up and patting the couch next to him. "What do you want to watch?"
I wanted to watch him, but I could hardly say that. "Don't know," I just mumbled.
He changed the channel. "How about the kids' show on- HEY!" He laughed when I punched him on the arm.
"I'm NOT..."
"...a kid, I know." He smiled at me, his brown eyes warm and liquid. "I guess you really aren't."
I smiled up at him. He was so nice. I felt like... I was in love. At least I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to have sex with him. Badly.
"Mike?" my sister yelled from the kitchen. "Susie says they have a sale at Hallek's. I want to go. Are you coming?"
"Uhm, I don't know." Mike seemed disappointed. I guess he was. It didn't look like they'd had sex yet.
"Well make up your mind. I'm going now."
Mike smiled at her. "I think I'll pass. I'll just go home and study, K?"
"Suit yourself," my sister huffed. She left a minute later, almost slamming the door.
"You have to study?" I asked.
"Yeah, I really do. I'm behind." He sighed.
"Oh. OK." I tried not to look hurt.
"But it's early in the semester and I really don't want to go. Can I hang out with you a while?" he asked, knowing the answer already.
I grinned. My stomach flipped. Then I remembered that my parents would be home soon. My smile faded.
He must have read my mind, because he suggested we go watch TV in my room instead, and I agreed happily.
"It's a little messy," I warned him before we entered.
"Show me a 16 year old boy's room that isn't," he snickered and followed me inside. "What," he moaned, "you call this messy? My own room was never this clean."
I grinned, not believing him. I would become wiser. He didn't have the tidy up gene at all.
"You can sit on my bed if you want. It's a better angle for the TV than the chairs," I offered. He fell down on the bed, and I joined him. Being so close to him made me tingle, and I could feel myself half hard all the time. I wanted him to kiss me.
He watched the TV and made jokes about it. If he noticed that I only watched him he didn't say. His hair looked so soft, his lips so full, his ears so nice... I couldn't tear my eyes away.
"What're you looking at?" he grinned. He'd caught me.
"You," I smiled. He knew the answer anyway, no sense in denying it.
"You like me, don't you?" he asked.
I blushed. "Yeah."
"K." He smiled. It was a warm, nice smile.
"Mike?"
"Yeah?"
"Would you... kiss me again?"
"Aw Alex, I don't know..." He frowned.
"Please? It felt so good."
"You liked, huh?"
I nodded eagerly.
"Well... OK, one kiss. OK?"
I nodded and scooted closer. "A good one then," I whispered hoarsely. He grinned soundlessly and nodded. He reached out to cup my face in his hand and leaned in, and my stomach started buzzing in anticipation. I kept my eyes open and saw him lean in until his lips touched mine.
I parted my lips immediately, making him chuckle a little, but he dutifully pushed his tongue inside. It was as if he got a little more into it when I threw my arms around his neck and moaned into the kiss. I opened my mouth wide, holding him to me with my arms. I was hard in my boxers, obviously so, but his concentration was elsewhere so he didn't see. It felt so good. I wanted him to have me.
After a few minutes he pulled away. He had to pry my arms off his neck which made him laugh. I whined in protest.
"Alex... come on."
I licked my lips. I was high.
"Miiike... you said a GOOD one."
He laughed loudly. "Alex... kid... I'm sorry, but that's the best I have!"
"One more then?"
"We agreed, one." He smiled.
My hands were still on his shoulders. I didn't want to let go. "But as payment, then," I smiled.
"Payment? What for?" He looked confused.
"For calling me kid just now."
He grinned. "Alright... one more. ONE. OK?"
I nodded eagerly. "But lying down this time."
He smiled and shook his head in amazement, but he agreed and I lay down on my back. He slumped down next to me, but I stopped him.
"On top of me... please?"
He frowned, but then shrugged. "I have to take off my shoes, wait," he said.
When he had he lowered himself on me. He covered me because he was so much bigger than me. It felt unbelievably good. I shuddered. Above my eyes were his looking down at me, mirth glinting in them. His elbows held his weight.
"Whoa, sailor, glad to see me?" he snickered when he felt my hard dick pressed against his stomach. I gasped, pleasure flooding my body in waves. My arms went around his neck again, pulling him down on me fully.
Then he kissed me again, and I felt that this was what I was made for. It felt so right. Nothing ever felt so good.
I was too hot to be embarrassed by my long moan anymore. I just let the feelings take me, and they took me, and it was wonderful.
After a minute or two I suddenly felt something against my leg.
He was hard.
The discovery set off fireworks in my brain. I almost came. He was hard!
I realized that he'd come expecting to fuck my sister. He was probably horny. Still, I felt joy that he was hard with me. And hope, that he might want to have sex with me. Subtly, I hoped, I tried to stimulate the hard lump in his pants.
I felt him gasping into the kiss, gasping like I was gasping. I stretched my legs and locked them behind his back, pressing myself against him. I felt love for him.
"Whoa, buddy, timeout," he gasped, breaking the kiss. I protested, leaning up and kissing his lips and chin.
"Alex. Man. We said one kiss."
I struggled to speak. When I did I was shocked to hear what I said.
"Fuck me."
"WHAT?"
"Please, Mike, fuck me. I want it so bad!" I tightened my legs and kissed his now open mouth.
"Alex, mgnh, listen kid, this is nice and all... mmm... but I can't..."
The reality of his words finally sunk into my pleasure addled brain. "Please?" I begged, letting my head fall back against the pillow and looking into his kind, brown eyes. "Please?"
"Alex, I can't..."
"Please?" I whispered.
"Oh Alex..." he sighed, obviously torn.
"Mike," I whispered, "I can feel you're hard. I want you so bad. I feel so good."
He smiled a little. "I guess you're definitely gay, huh?"
I nodded, waiting with baited breath for his decision.
"I don't know," he said, "I've never-"
"Me neither!"
He chuckled. "I figured that."
I released his neck with my right arm and brought it down to squeeze his dick through his pants. He moaned in pleasure. Going by instinct I also began to suckle his earlobe and then moved on to his neck until he was panting and squirming from the multiple stimulation.
I began tugging at his t-shirt, and when he didn't protest I knew I'd get fucked. I shuddered. He lifted himself up and helped get it off. He was beautiful, sexier than I thought.
"Wow," I gasped. He smiled. The look on his face was one I didn't recognize. I realized it was lust. That turned me on fiercely.
He tried to get my t-shirt off too. I had to help. I guess the absence of breasts threw him off for a second, but his fervor in licking and nibbling my nipples wasn't lacking. I gasped. "Wow..." I moaned, "wow."
He grinned and leaned down fully on me. I had no chest hair at all. He had some, and I felt it against my skin. It was incredibly erotic. Hectically I began fumbling with his belt to get the pants off him and his dick in me, though I had no idea how that was to happen.
"Relax," he whispered huskily. "Take your time."
"I can't," I almost cried. "Now. Now."
He grinned and kissed me, making me forget everything else until I'd calmed down a little.
Then he sat up long enough to pull off his socks and loosen his belt so we could push his jeans down together. I was shaking.
His legs were nice too. I'd seen them before. Now I felt them, the thighs in my hands, my legs against the front of his. I moaned.
"Try to relax, baby," he whispered. "I know it's hard."
I laughed, and when he realized what he'd said he laughed too. It was wonderful. His eyes would half close when he was laughing. So beautiful.
My hands found his ass. It was hard and sexy, like all of him. Desire surged though me. I slipped my hands under the fabric of his boxers. Oh God.
He was licking the inside of my mouth now while we kissed. He was learning how to turn me on so I whimpered, and he would remember.
With my cooperation he slid my boxers down and off my legs, and his right hand caught my dick.
"Nnngh!" I gasped.
"Relax, baby." He squeezed my dick a little, but gently, and I was able to calm down a little again.
"Amazing," he mumbled, looking at my dick like he'd never seen anything like it. I was a little embarrassed because it wasn't very big.
He pushed his own boxers down and I saw his dick for the first time. It was thick, and long. Straight as a ruler. It looked enormous to me at the time. Actually it is pretty big.
He pressed it down against mine as if to compare. I didn't care, I felt like I'd explode with pleasure.
"Weird," he mumbled, but his voice sounded like it was a good weird.
"Fuck me," I gasped.
He grinned. "Patience, baby."
"I'll DIE if you don't do it NOW!"
He grabbed his discarded pants and pulled out a condom, which he put on. I felt like screaming. It was torture waiting for him.
When the condom was rolled on he lay down on me, and I raised my legs instinctively. I was past embarrassment. I didn't care that I was begging for it. I just wanted it.
But he realized that he couldn't just push in. He had to prepare. He was big, I was a virgin - it couldn't happen without a bit of work. That's where his inexperience showed, that he realized so late, but he did, and he set about making it happen.
Carefully he put a finger in me. I clamped down on it, but it felt great. It took him some work but he soon had the finger all the way in me, and he added another finger. In the end he had three in me and I was thrashing around.
"I'll scream if you don't do it," I gasped.
There was no wise crack, no grin. He was so horny himself now all he could do was grab his dick, point it to my hole and start pushing inside.
It hurt a good deal even though he went slow and used spit to make it easier. It hurt, but I loved it. His face was wet with sweat, his whole body in fact, and some dripped on me. It made me feel great. I pulled him down in a kiss, a sloppy one.
When he was half way in he paused, allowing me to get used to it. We kissed but stayed still otherwise. Both of us might have lost control if we hadn't.
Then he moved again. I lifted my legs as high on his back as I could. I knew without a doubt that I was born to be fucked like this.
Eventually he was all the way in. I was proud. I'd taken it and he liked it.
"Aww God, Alex..." he moaned. "I never thought..."
I silenced him with a kiss.
That's how I was fucked for the first time, with Mike resting his full weight on me and giving me all he had. Beautiful.
None of us lasted as long as we would have liked, but God! What an orgasm when I came. We were kissing when I did, and it hit our chests and faces. Mike didn't bat an eyelid but just kept fucking me and kissing, even though it had to be weird for him.
Even better was when he came. He shuddered all over and moaned, and I knew he felt good because of me. I had my tongue all the way in his mouth by then, and I felt all the vibrations from his moan. I was happy.
"Wow," he mumbled a few minutes later. I was in his arms. He held me tight and I was licking his breast lazily, enjoying his smell and his warmth. I knew I loved him. I hoped he still liked me.
"Wow," he repeated. "That was unbelievable."
I looked up at him. "Good?"
"Yeah, man. Great." He kissed the top of my head.
"I lov- I mean liked it too."
He grinned.
"Better than my sister?" I asked, suddenly feeling a pang of bitterness.
"You may not have breasts, kid, but you're a lot cuter, that's for sure."
I glowed. "I'm not a virgin anymore," I sighed happily, stretching in his arms.
"That's for sure."
"Thank you."
"No, Alex," he protested. "Thank YOU. I've never done this before but it was beautiful. Thanks."
I kissed him.
"Let's go shower," he suggested. "Don't want to be like this if anyone comes."
I didn't want to tell him no one ever came to my room. Instead I smiled. "I'm too tired."
"I'll carry you."
I smiled wider.
When we were done in the shower - I did feel him all over but we didn't have sex again - he had to go home to study.
"Look, Alex, it was great and I don't regret it," he said, "but I'm not sure we should do it again. You're too young, and, well, I'm not gay."
I was devastated. I guess I should have known that would be the deal, but I was in love, and it was hard to hear him say that. I nodded, not trusting my voice. But of course my face spoke volumes.
"But I think of you as a friend. You know? We can hang out and stuff. I like you. We can even hang out when I'm no longer with your sister."
"She's cheating on you," I blurted.
He frowned. "I know."
"But... why are you still with her then?" I asked, puzzled.
He smiled. "Because I like you. I wanted to hang out with you 'cause I think you're great. I would have dumped her long ago if not for you."
I glowed. That had made feel good about myself again.
"Besides," he grinned, "technically I just cheated on her too. I made love to someone else."
Made love. The words echoed in my head. My heart swelled.
"I never made love to her, just sex," he added, more to himself than me.
When he left I got to kiss him. He even held me a little. But we agreed that we couldn't do all that any more when he'd left. I agreed because I wanted to see him again, and I'd do anything to make him happy.
Mike didn't come to our house after that. My sister brought a string of other men home, and I realized that she and Mike were no longer seeing each other. I thought about him every day - much to Syllie's regret. She didn't approve of what I'd done, but she was sympathetic when I missed him, which was all the time.
I didn't have his address or phone number. I only knew he lived on campus somewhere. So two weeks after Mike made love to me I snuck into my sister's room and found her little black book. She kept all the phone numbers of guys she'd dated, and it didn't take me long to find the book under her mattress. There he was. Mike Adela. I wrote the whole thing down, because I knew I had to talk to him again. I also noted her rating. She rated all her men it seemed. Mike good top rating. I had thought so.
Chuck, her latest, wouldn't be coming back, judging by his rating.
Two days later, Saturday, I hopped on my rarely used bike and went to see him.
It was easy enough to find, a dorm room on the first floor. Number 237. My heart started beating faster when I raised my hand to knock, but I knew I had to. Especially now that I'd come all this way.
I knocked.
The door was opened, not by Mike but by a tall black man. I panicked for a moment before I realized it was probably his roommate.
"Um... I'm looking for Mike...?" I stammered.
"He's not here," the man said. "Who are you, kid?"
"I'm uh, a friend of his. He used to date my sister."
"Oh, you must be Alex! He said she had a cool brother but she was a bitch. Oh, shit, I'm sorry!" His eyes bulged. "It just flew out..."
"Don't worry, it's true." I smiled.
The black man grinned and stuck out his hand. "Geoff."
"Alex."
"So, do you want to come in and wait? He should be here soon." Geoff opened the door.
"I don't know..." I hesitated.
"It's alright, come on." He let me in. "You'd better sit in my chair," he grinned. Mike's half of the room was a mess of books and clothes.
"But where will you...?"
"I'll just take the bed. Sit down." He sat on his bed. "I'm afraid I only have beer, and you look a little young for that. I could make some tea, if...?"
"No no, I'm fine." I looked around. It was a nice room, if messy. It smelled faintly of Mike.
"Mike isn't dating your sister any more, is he?" Geoff started, when Mike opened the door and burst in.
"Hey G, I..." He stopped when he saw me. "Alex..."
"Um... hi." I smiled, but it took him a while to smile back. "I was just passing by," I said, knowing he wouldn't buy that.
"Oh. How's it going?" he asked, glancing at Geoff as if to see if I'd told him anything about... us.
"OK." I looked down. His smile was still strained, and he hadn't touched me. Clearly he wasn't glad to see me at all. I'd somehow deep down hoped that he'd want me, that I'd walk through the door and he'd jump up and hug me and kiss me.
Not so.
When I looked back up he was staring at me with a frown.
"I guess it's a bad time," I stammered. "I'll just see you some other day." I got up from the chair, careful not to look at Geoff so he wouldn't see the tears brimming in my eyes.
"No, wait, Alex." Mike sighed. "I'm sorry. I just didn't expect to see you, that's all." He reached out with his arm and held me back. "Let me clear you some space on my bed."
He blushed when he thought about what he'd said, but I don't think Geoff caught it.
"Are you OK, kid?" Geoff asked. I guess I didn't look too hot.
"Actually he's 16," Mike said. "He's not a kid." He grinned at me. It was the first time I'd seen him smile that day.
I smiled back, relieved.
He sat down next to me. I longed for him to put his arm around me. I think Geoff could tell there was something there. He stared at me in a funny way. I blushed and looked down.
Then I felt it. Mike's arm around me.
It felt amazing.
"I'm glad you came," he said. "It's good to see you."
I almost cried just from that. I was a sorry mess.
"I--I thought maybe you didn't want me to come."
"No, Alex. You're always welcome." He squeezed me a little.
"Thanks." I smiled a little.
"I should have called you. I just..." He paused.
"I understand," I said, and I did.
"Listen, guys, I'm going to go shopping. Do you need anything?"
"No, we're fine," Mike replied. "Thanks." I think he winked at Geoff when he said it, but I'm not sure.
"Did he leave us alone on purpose?" I asked.
Mike looked at me a second, then nodded.
I was still enjoying his arm around me, but I knew I'd forced myself on him a little.
"Mike... do you... would you... is it better if I just left?" I stuttered. I blushed. God, let him say no.
"No, Alex. Please stay. I just... I was surprised to see you. I've had to think a lot about what happened. I mean... you know."
I nodded. "I thought so." I lifted my head and looked at him. His warm brown eyes were on mine. "Mike... even if you say I can never kiss you again I'll always remember what we did. To me it was wonderful, just wonderful, even if maybe for you it wasn't..." I faltered.
"Alex, buddy. I like you. A lot. But we can't kiss again. Or anything else."
I swallowed and nodded. Tears welled up again, and this time one fell.
"All I ever do is cry," I muttered angrily when I wiped it away.
"I'm sorry, but I just can't." He looked genuinely sorry.
"But you could very well when we... you know," I protested.
"Yeah, but... I don't know. I was expecting to have sex with your sister." He shook his head. "Geez. But you did know that she has sex with her boyfriends, didn't you?"
"I'm not a fool," I snapped, my hurt spilling over.
"Sorry," he mumbled.
"So it was just because you didn't get to fuck my sister?" I asked. "I mean, I know I pushed you, but I still thought you liked me a little at least." My hands shook I was so upset.
"I do like you, Alex, but I really do just prefer girls."
I didn't hear his words. "Is it because I'm hideous?"
"No, Alex! You're very pretty." He smiled weakly. "If you walk into a gay bar somewhere I bet you there isn't a man there who wouldn't love to fuck you. You look like you were made for it."
I didn't believe him. I thought he was making it up, but he was right. I've learned that later. If I wasn't so monogamous I could have a lot of men. But I only need one.
"Whatever," I mumbled, turning away from him. Then I started resenting myself for acting like a spoiled kid. I turned to face him. "Sorry. I guess I had impossible dreams."
He tightened his grip on me. "About me?"
I nodded, embarrassed. "I guess I hoped you'd hug me and kiss me and... want me." He started to speak, but I interrupted him. "Don't say anything. I know you don't want me. I understand."
I stood up. "I think I should go. You've been great to me, Mike. Even if it hurts now..." I wanted to say I'd remember him for good things, but I suddenly couldn't speak.
"Oh Alex." He hugged me to him, and I sniffled a little, trying hard to regain control.
I looked up at him. His brown eyes met mine. He smelled wonderful and looked great. I wanted him very much. The knowledge that he didn't want me covered my eyes in wetness, but the desire was underneath. I guess that was a powerful combination, because he stared at me for moment before groaning "aww FUCK!" and leaning down to kiss me.
It came unexpected for me, but I was aflame at once. I clung to him and sucked on his tongue with great concentration. He whimpered.
My arms locked round his neck where I'd found they fit very well. I moaned in ecstasy.
He led me back toward the bed and lay me down, falling on top of me. He broke the kiss in the process and licked his lips.
"I'd promised myself not to do this," he smiled, his eyes blazing with desire. "If I do it twice I'll be doing it a lifetime."
I hardly heard what he said, I wanted him so bad. I would later realize that my desire was irresistible to him, much more than anything else.
I tugged and tore at his clothes, gasping.
"Please, please," I whispered.
"Yeah, baby, it's OK. We're going to do it." He pulled off his shirt, sending buttons flying everywhere. I could see his chest rising and falling with his rapid breaths.
I sat up and started to help peel off his shoes and socks and jeans. No doubt it would have been faster for him to do it himself, because we were both so anxious, but undressing him was very erotic.
We didn't stop until he was naked. I admired his tan (almost all over) leanness, his strength. And I wanted his erect, hard dick in me.
He'd paused when I looked at him allowing me to do it, but when the pause was over he sprung into action, ripping my clothes off and getting me naked in record time. One moment I was dressed, the next naked. Not that I minded. I always preferred to be naked with him, rather than clothed.
"You're so fucking cute," he mumbled hoarsely.
I purred, enjoying his words. His hands were all over me, but when I began to whimper in protest he got the message and zoomed in on the target. He knew the procedure now and proceeded to open me up, before slowly pushing his latex covered dick inside.
"Next time I'll have bought some lube," he promised.
The words 'next time' sent me into orbit.
There was no doubt in him any longer. His eyes were melting, liquid when they looked at me. While he still worked to get all they way into me he just stared into my eyes like he was looking for something. I don't know what.
"How do you do that?" he asked in wonder.
"What?" I croaked.
"Look so... sexual. It's like you cast a spell. I swear, there's not a man alive who wouldn't gladly rip your clothes off and fuck you silly if you gave him that look."
I shook my head at him.
"It's very powerful," he mumbled. "Sweet."
Then finally he was all the way in and he could apply all his skill. After a few minutes I was babbling incoherently, my legs locked high up his back, while he sucked my neck and fucked me. I never felt more alive.
Afterwards we cuddled, and that was almost even better. He smelled wonderful. That smell screams 'sex' to me even today. And his arms were strong, and I felt so safe and loved there in his arms, in his bed, under all the clothes and with piles of books around us. I fell asleep, happy.
About an hour later I slipped out of bed and put on my boxer briefs.
"Where are you going, baby?" Mike asked drowsily from the bed.
"Nowhere, I'm just going to tidy up this mess," I told him. It had been driving me crazy to look at it from the bed.
"No, just leave it," he mumbled. "I'll do it. Sleep." He closed his eyes.
I smiled. "That's OK, you put in a great effort. You sleep." There was still evidence of that effort in the slight pain when I moved, but I was floating so high on after-sex I hardly felt it. I began organizing the clothes on the floor and desk.
Neither of us had thought about Geoff.
He came barging in a few minutes later. There was really nothing we could do. I mean, I was in my boxer briefs and nothing else. I'd still not picked up all our discarded clothes among all of Mike's other stuff, and Mike was still in bed, naked. The room must have smelled like sex. And if that wasn't enough he could have just looked at me. I was practically GLOWING with it. Everybody can always see when I've been fucked, even now. It's very obvious.
"Adela, you bad boy," he grinned. "Pussy not enough for you?"
Mike sat up, wide awake in an instant. "Fuck!" he mumbled.
"Looks like that already happened," Geoff grinned. He'd closed the door, and now he locked it.
Mike jumped out of bed, stark naked, and put his arm around me. He then looked at Geoff as if to challenge him to say anything.
"Relax, man, I'm cool. I knew the minute I saw that sweet piece of sugar that you'd be fucking him today," Geoff grinned. "If anybody ever screamed 'fuck me' it's him when he saw you." He sat down on the end of his own bed. "And he has a nice ass."
Mike's hand cupped my ass possessively. "This ass is mine, all mine, G. No one else's."
I swelled. I thought I would burst. Love pulsed through me.
When I came to I saw Geoff grin at me, but not in an unpleasant way. "Boy," he said. "You in LOVE."
I blushed and nodded. I was afraid to look at Mike, but I heard his voice.
"So am I. I love him."
I looked up at him, the man I loved. The man I still love. He smiled tenderly at me and bent down to hug me and kiss me.
"I love you, Alexander," he said.
"I love you too," I gasped, gloriously happy and not used to it.
"Aww," Geoff grinned. That's how he still is, always. Thank God he finally found himself a wife to keep him in line. "I don't normally hug naked men, but I think this calls for it," he continued, pulling Mike into a hug. "Good work, buddy. He's just what you need."
"Actually he seduced me," Mike grinned, winking at me.
"And you," Geoff said, releasing Mike and smiling at me. "He's just what you need too, if I'm not wrong." He scooped me into a hug. I liked him already. Syllie never did. She claims he took all the good women from her.
"Hey!" Mike yelled, pulling Geoff away when his big hands slid down to grab my ass. Geoff grinned. So did I. I knew already that Geoff had no interest in me sexually, he was just teasing Mike who was always a little jealous. He guards me like an angry lion. Of course I love it.
"Now if you don't mind we were in the middle of something," Mike said.
"He was cleaning your mess and you were sleeping," Geoff pointed out.
Mike smiled. "But now I believe he needs a good fucking. But you're welcome to stay and watch..."
"Ugh, no thanks," Geoff grinned. "One more hour. Both of you be decent when I come back."
"Yeah, yeah," I nodded, already shaking with desire.
"Mike, buddy, I think you're right that he needs it," Geoff laughed before leaving.
Mike was right about it. I did need it. And I've needed it many times since.
I still remember lying in Mike's bed in his messy room with him. It marked the beginning of something new in my life. I started spending more and more time there with him because I liked it better than my own house, and thanks to me it ended up tidy and clean. There was no way we could keep me secret and the other people in the dorm soon found out, and they teased Mike mercilessly about being my 'daddy'. He took it in a stride. When we met people there he'd always make a point of grabbing my hand or squeezing my shoulder or something, showing me off. At first I thought it was because he refused to be cowed, but one day I realized it was because he was proud of me. I was very happy that day.
My parents never said anything, and they never acknowledged that they'd seen Mike before I brought him to my house. Today I rarely see them. My sister was shocked for a little while, but she had other things to do and it didn't interest her much. She went on to get her degree in record time. We never speak. I met her by accident once not long ago. Both of us pretended not to know the other.
There was a good distance from my school to our dorm room, but I still preferred it to my parents' house, and they never restricted me in that way. They were just as happy when I was out of the house, maybe happier, as when I was in it. I traveled the distance to school in the morning on my bike, which was good for me. The only bad thing about moving was it took me away from Syllie, and she never really liked the dorm. We would meet at her place and she'd bitch about how it was nauseating to see her once pleasantly bitter friend turned into a happy housewife. It was her way of telling me she was happy for me.
We lived in the dorm room for almost two years before Mike graduated and got a job. We got a nice little semi-detached house with a big garden. Sounds boring or banal, maybe, but it's all I ever wanted. When I'm in that garden with Mike I marvel at the way my life changed. It was like the needle flew out from the haystack into my hand, because I don't think I did much searching for it. And what are the odds? I'm grateful though.
That afternoon in Mike's dorm room bed when he thought I was asleep he felt my fingers with his in a loving way, stretching mine against the sheet.
"So this is what my life will be," I heard him mumble. There was no regret in his voice.
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That was a little bit about Alex. If you enjoyed it please let me know at
AdelhardtH@hotmail.com
That way I'll know if I should write another story some day or just drop it. Thanks :-)