This story is a work of FICTION. The events described are my own invention. Any similarities to actual events or persons are strictly coincidental. The author retains the copyright, and any other rights, to this original story. You may not publish it or any part of it without my explicit authorization.
This story contains depictions of consensual sexual acts between teenage males. It is intended for mature audiences only. If you find this type of material offensive or if you are under the legal age to read said material; please proceed no further.
Comments are always welcome at: hailcaesar2011@hotmail.com
A Light in Dark Places Chapter 2
I stayed with Connor's body until the paramedics pulled me away. I don't even know how long it took for someone to find us and call them; it felt like time had just stopped. The police took me down to the station and questioned me about what had happened, after telling them everything about the day before, and how I'd found Connor that morning, I sat on a bench while they contacted the academy. I don't know how long I sat there, hours or minutes, it didn't matter, Connor was gone and there was no more purpose in time.
"Peter," said a familiar voice.
I looked up, when I heard the familiar voice, to see Mr. Allen, my dorm advisor and his wife.
"Peter, are you alright?" asked Mr. Allen.
All I could do was nod my head. I'd been hysterical, when we'd been found on the beach; I'd calmed down enough to talk to the police and then settled into numbness and shock. Seeing the Allen's compassionate and concerned faces, eased me out of my shock and I felt my bottom lip start to quiver.
"Oh, Peter, come here sweetheart," said Mrs. Allen.
I stood up and walked over to her, a soon as she hugged me, the tears started falling from my eyes.
"There, there," said Mrs. Allen, rocking me in her arms, "it's going to be alright."
"I spoke with the officer at the front desk, you're free to go," said Mr. Allen, "come on, let's get you back to school."
Mrs. Allen put her arm around my shoulder, to support me, then guided me out to the parking lot. They put me in the backseat of their SUV and I cried the entire drive back to Exeter. I couldn't stop, tears just rained relentlessly from my eyes. When we pulled up in front of my dormitory, the headmaster was standing out front, waiting for us.
"Peter, I'm so sorry about everything you've been through," said the headmaster, gently, "but I'm going to need you to tell me exactly what happened to Mr. McCarthy."
"I don't think he's in any condition to do that, sir," said Mr. Allen, "I spoke to the police in Portsmouth, why don't you let us take him inside and I'll come to your office and fill you in."
"Right, that'll do, thank you Mr. Allen," said the headmaster, "and Peter, I truly am sorry for you."
The headmaster patted me on the shoulder and then we went inside. I walked into my room and found Cromwell sitting at his desk. It must have been third period, he had it free and usually came back to our room, to study.
"Oh, there you are, where ya been?" said Cromwell, with his slight southern twang.
I didn't answer him, I went straight to my bed. I didn't even bother to take my clothes off, I just laid down and curled up in the fetal position.
"What's wrong with you?" Cromwell asked gently.
"Alex, can you come out into the hall for a moment," said Mr. Allen.
Cromwell stepped outside and the Allen's told him what had happened. Alex Cromwell became the first student to learn that Connor McCarthy was dead. When he came back to the room, he sounded as if he was in shock and on the verge of tears himself, after all, Connor had been his friend to.
"My God, Peter, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say," said Cromwell.
Though Connor and I kept the true nature of our relationship a secret, it was no secret that he was my best friend. Cromwell knew I would be devastated, more so for having been the one to find him on that beach.
"It's ok Alex, you don't have to say anything, can you just leave me alone for a while, please?" I sniffled.
"Yeah, sure, just, well, if you need anything, let me know?" said Cromwell.
"Ok," I croaked.
Cromwell left after that, I curled up on the mattress and tried to sleep. Eventually my mother called, she was in tears, her little boy had been involved in a tragedy and she couldn't be there to comfort me, she was also fond of Connor. Connor and I had been friends since my freshman year, he'd come home with me for a few four day weekends, and of course, my parents, like everyone else, loved him for his good cheer and easy charm.
The problem with New Hampshire is that it's a small state and traveling can be a bit of a problem. My mom wanted to bring me home immediately, or come up herself, but there were no flights scheduled. It was Thursday morning and I was supposed to leave the next day, to spend my spring break at home, so it was decided that I would just have to stay at the academy until my regularly scheduled flight. When I hung up with mom, I went back to my room and tried to sleep again. Cromwell eventually came back to the room and at Mr. Allen's urging, he coaxed me into coming down to dinner.
By now, everyone at school knew what had happened. Connor was a popular guy and I wasn't surprised to see many tear stained faces in the dining hall, both students and teachers alike. All eyes were on me, when I walked in, people were whispering, some concerned, knowing how much I must be hurting, others curious, wondering just what had happened on that beach and how things had gone so terribly wrong. I sat at my usual table with Cromwell and my friends but the tyranny of Connor's empty chair was too much to take. I got up before the food was even served, returned to my room and fell into a deep, dream filled, sleep.
I was fourteen the first time I ever saw Connor, it was opening day at Philips Academy and he was seated next to me in the chapel, while the headmaster gave his start of term speech. Even then, I thought he was handsome, with his blond hair and big green eyes, but I didn't want him to see me checking him out, I didn't want to be labeled a fag on the first day of school, so I tried to concentrate on the speech. That's when Connor started to poke me in the ribs with his elbow. He wasn't doing it hard, and he wasn't looking at me, so I wondered if it might be a nervous tic, maybe he didn't realize he was doing it. I bumped him back with my elbow and he stopped for a moment, before he again poked me in the ribs.
"What is it?" I whispered.
"Hi, my names Connor, what's yours?"
"Uh, Peter," I whispered.
"Cool, where are you from Peter?"
"Pennsylvania and Washington D.C., you?"
"Michigan," he replied, "How are you from two places?"
"My dad's a senator, we're from Pennsylvania but I spend a lot of time in Washington," I explained.
"That's cool, my dad owns a construction company," said Connor.
We whispered back and forth until a teacher tapped me on the shoulder and told us to be quiet. Connor and I looked at each other sheepishly, then turned our attention back toward the headmaster. After the speech, we were given our dorm assignments and I discovered that Connor was going to live just down the hall from me. I was a serious little bookworm at the time and though he was friendly, I kind of ignored him. It wasn't that I didn't want to be his friend, it's just that this was a serious school and I wanted to do well, Connor seemed like he'd make that difficult with his distractions.
The thing about Connor was that he'd decided I was going to be his friend and once he got an idea in his head, he didn't give up easily. He was in most of my classes and sat with me at lunch, every time I turned around, he was there with one of his big, friendly smiles. I found myself hiding whenever I saw him, just so I could have a moment's privacy to think.
In addition to Connor's antics, our first week of school was plagued by a series of pranks. They started off simple, someone rigged a bunch of alarm clocks to go off at three in the morning, the next day several beds were short sheeted but the worst took place that first Thursday. I got up, stretched, put on my glasses and headed for the shower, when I spotted my roommate, Cromwell, coming towards me from the direction of the bathroom. His usually blond hair was a fierce blue and he didn't look very happy about it.
"Alex, what happened to you?" I asked.
"Some joker put dye in the shampoo," he explained.
As he said that, I looked past him and saw a number of other boys, coming from the bathroom, with different shades of blue hair, the result of the dye combined with their natural color. I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Thanks for the warning," I giggled.
"Yeah, yeah," Cromwell grumped, as he padded back to our room.
That night I woke up around midnight, with a tingling in my penis, I had to pee. I got up and walked to the bathroom, still half asleep, to relieve myself. When I was done with the urinal, I yawned and started back towards my room, when I spotted a boy tiptoeing through the hall. I'd left my glasses on my nightstand, I'm not blind without them, I didn't need them to pee or to recognize Connor.
"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, taking him by surprise.
"Shhhh," whispered Connor, putting his hand over my mouth.
I rolled my eyes, he smiled and pulled his hand away.
"What are you doing?" I whispered.
He held up a small bottle of nail polish and grinned wickedly.
"You, you've been the one pulling all these pranks?" I asked.
"Well, someone had to spice things up around here," said Connor.
"Dude, you're going to get so busted when you get caught," I informed him.
"You're not going to tell are you?" he asked.
"Well, no, I guess not," I stated, "I'm not a snitch."
"Good, then you can help me," said Connor.
"Oh no, I'm going back to bed," I said, shaking my head.
"Ah, come on Petey, live a little," said Connor.
"Ok, I'll help you but on one condition," I stated.
"Sure, what?" asked Connor.
"Never call me Petey again."
"Deal," smiled Connor, "come on."
"What exactly are we doing anyway," I asked, as I tiptoed behind him.
"Painting everyone's toenails," Connor explained.
"Uh huh, and what if someone wakes up?" I asked.
"No one has yet," said Connor.
"How many have you done?"
"Everyone on my side of the hall, I was just about to start on yours," he giggled.
I rolled my eyes and followed him into Tony Parker and Chad Johnson's room. It wasn't locked and Connor slipped right in, I stood outside the door, then he grabbed my t-shirt and pulled me in with him. I held his flashlight while he peeled back Tony's covers and set about painting his toenails a bright pink. Finished with him, he moved on to Chad and I was actually starting to have fun. I'd never done anything naughty before and this was kind of a thrill. Connor was just about finished with Chad's toes when he suddenly woke up.
"Hey, what the fuck?" yawned Chad.
"Oh shit, run," said Connor, grabbing my t-shirt again and dragging me behind him.
It was no use though, Chad was a big senior, a long legged track star and he bounded after us. He had us both by the scruff of our necks before we even made it into the hallway.
"Ok what are you little shits up to?" asked Chad.
I didn't answer him, my mouth was flopping open like a fish out of water. I hadn't done anything naughty before, therefore I'd never experienced the terror of getting caught. Connor made the mistake of looking down at Chad's toes and giggling. Tony heard the commotion and joined us out in the hall.
"What's going on?" he asked with a yawn.
"I think I caught our pranksters," said Chad, "look what they did to my toes."
Tony covered his mouth to stifle his laughter.
"Oh, think it's funny?" said Chad, "look at yours."
"God damn it," said Tony, when he looked down at his bright pink nails.
"Ok, that's it," said Chad, "wake everyone up, it's time for these two to pay."
Quietly, so as not to wake our dorm advisor, Tony went from room to room, waking the other boys. This wasn't something you woke a teacher about; in this case, justice would be dispensed by our peers. There were more than a few disgruntled faces, in the hall, as they discovered their pink toes. I was terrified, I thought we were about to be beaten to a pulp, but Connor was serene as always. I hadn't participated in any of his other pranks, all I'd wanted to do was pee and now I was going to pay the price. They didn't beat us up though, instead, they lead us out to the main quad, stripped us down to our socks and underwear and then tied us to the flag pole. To add insult to injury, some smartass stuffed a pair of underwear in my mouth as a gag.
"Well, I hope you're happy," I exclaimed, once I'd spit the underpants out of my mouth.
"Things didn't go as planned but this is still pretty funny," said Connor.
"Funny, funny!" I exclaimed, "We're tied to a flag pole in our underwear, what's so damn funny about that?"
"Well, come on, think about it," said Connor.
I rolled my eyes and stood there, starting to shiver in the breeze.
"Look, I'm sorry you got in trouble, but you have to admit, you were having fun, I saw you smiling," said Connor.
"Well, yeah, ok, it was kind of fun," I admitted.
Satisfied with that, Connor was quiet but only for a moment.
"You can snuggle up against me if you want," said Connor.
"Excuse me?" I stated.
"I can feel you shaking, it's cold out here, you can snuggle against me, you know, for warmth," Connor explained.
"Oh, uh, thanks," I replied, as I cuddled up against him.
The next morning, we were discovered side by side, shoulder to shoulder, heads resting against each other, sound asleep. From then on, Connor and I were inseparable. Our dorm mates eventually forgave us for the pranks but only after we agreed to use our talents for good, not evil.
I woke up with a start, was it all just a dream? I climbed out of bed and padded down the hall to Connor's room. I tried the knob but the door was locked, that's when reality set back in. Of course it was locked, Connor's roommate had been so upset when he heard the news, that his parents, who lived in Concord, which wasn't even an hour away, had come to get him. I envied him that, being able to cry in his mother's arms. I placed my cheek against the door, then slid down on the ground and curled up at its base. In the morning, I woke up surrounded by my dorm mates.
"Come on Peter," said Alex, helping me to my feet and leading me back to our room.
"H-he's not there Alex," I mumbled.
"I know buddy, I know," said Cromwell.
That morning I showered and dressed by rote. There was an assembly that morning and then the school would be dismissed so that we could all return to our homes, in various states across the country, for spring break. Cromwell stayed close to me, he forced me to eat a piece of toast and then led me to the chapel, where assemblies were held. I noticed that the flag was at half staff and then the headmaster started speaking. He was talking about Connor and what a fine student and athlete he'd been. While the headmaster spoke, my eyes locked on the piano.
I'd always played the piano and I was a little surprised last year, when the day after we got back from summer break, Connor asked me if I'd give him lessons. He'd come to plenty of my recitals, as a supportive friend, but never expressed any interest in learning to play. He explained that his mother's birthday would take place during our next break and he wanted to surprise her by being able to play a song on the old grand piano that had sat in their family room since before he was born.
I thought that was a great idea and from then on, we would spend our evenings in the academy chapel. Connor wasn't learning much from our lessons, usually he would goof around or just listen to me play, but one night during the week of Halloween, he sat next to me on the bench, his face a mask of deep concentration. He'd been so quiet that night; it startled me when he finally spoke.
"Peter," said Connor, causing me to jump slightly.
"Hmm," I asked, keeping my eyes on my sheet music.
"Peter, look at me," said Connor.
"What is it?" I said as I turned to face him.
And then he kissed me. He placed his hands on the sides of my face and gently kissed my lips. I was shocked and tried to pull back at first but he held tight.
"Don't fight it," said Connor, "I've waited for this for a long time."
I had never for a moment entertained the idea that Connor could be gay, it just didn't compute, it was too good to be true. Then again, I'm not sure what signs I would have looked for in another boy. I didn't know any gay people and the only information I had to go on; were media stereotypes. At that point, I stopped over thinking it and kissed back. Connor was my dream boy, I'd been in love with him from the moment I first met him, even if it had taken me a while to figure that out, and if he wanted to kiss me, the last thing I wanted to do was be too busy, over analyzing it, to enjoy it.
I was like putty in Connors hands. After I relaxed and started to welcome his probing tongue into my mouth, he put his arms around me and caressed my back tenderly. We kissed for some time, before we both pulled back to catch our breath.
"Wow," I said, "I had no idea that you were..."
"Gay," Connor finished for me.
"Yeah, that's the word," I replied.
"Yeah, I'm pretty good at hiding it," said Connor, "but you're my best friend Peter and I've wanted to try that for a while. And, it felt right."
"Yeah, I liked it to," I admitted.
Connor leaned in for another kiss and started to loosen the knot in my tie. Next he began to pull the buttons open on my shirt.
"Connor, I don't know," I whispered, "do you think we should be doing this, you know, in a church?"
"Don't think," said Connor, "just go with it."
How could I argue with logic like that?
I welcomed Connor back into my mouth and kissed him passionately as he stripped off my shirt and his own. Our hands moved all over each other's chests. His was firm and toned from all the running up and down the football field that he did. Mine was lean and toned from swimming laps and running track. He placed his hands on my knees then started to rub up and down my thighs until he worked up the courage to pull my belt off and work the button on my khakis, then lower the zipper.
I stood up and let my uniform pants drop to the floor. I kicked off my shoes and stood there in my boxerbriefs and argyle socks. Connor stood up and added his own pants to the growing pile of clothes then laid me gently on the carpet. We resumed our making out and I ran my hands up and down his slender back then over his tight buns which felt warm even through his boxers. I could feel his hardness pressing into me and pushed his underwear down his legs as far as I could. We took another break to get totally naked and then Connor began to work on my nipples. He nipped at them like an expert, gently circling the small buds with his tongue then nibbling them softly. He kissed down the center of my chest, past my belly button and took my 4 inch boy cock into his mouth.
I'd never felt a feeling more wonderful then Connor sucking on my manhood. I moaned in pleasure, thankful that no one could hear us. I looked down at Connor and he smiled back at me around my cock, I pulled him off of me and eagerly slipped between his legs so that I could show him how good this felt. Connor seemed to enjoy my blow job as much as I enjoyed his.
"Peter, Peter stop," Connor panted.
"What is it, did I do something wrong," I asked, disappointed to let his cock slip from my mouth.
"No, it feels great, it's just, if you don't stop, I'm gonna cum," said Connor.
I gave him a wicked grin and resumed my sucking. I felt the vein on the underside of his penis start to throb. I took my own penis in my hand and stroked it rapidly so that when Connor filled my mouth with his release, I filled my hand with mine. When it was over, we smiled and held each other under the piano. We were exhausted after the exciting new direction our relationship had taken and before we knew it, we'd nodded off to sleep. An hour later, we were woken by the sound of the bell announcing 11 o' clock and lights out. We scrambled to get into our clothes then raced for our dorm. We found ourselves alone in the hall, everyone else having retired for the night, and traded one last kiss for the evening.
I was pulled away from my memory, when the headmaster opened the microphone to any student who wanted to say something in remembrance of Connor. The first person to stand up was Andy Parker, he played baseball with Connor and talked about what a fielder he was and how he'd miss him when the season started. After him, Hilary Crane talked about having history with Connor and how he always made her laugh. A few more students spoke and that's when I started to get upset. I stood up and walked to the podium, pushing a couple of student's out of my way as I went.
"None of you knew Connor, not the real Connor," I began, "He wasn't just some stupid jock or class clown. He was sweet and kind and wonderful and special and perfect and I loved him!"
"You're all sitting here like you've lost someone and you don't even know what loss is," I continued, tears streaming down my face "he was everything to me and I'm never going to see him again. His soul was to beautiful for this world and I wish I'd died with him."
"Ok Peter that's enough," said the headmaster, covering the microphone and putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I'm not done yet," I sniffled.
"Son, I think you've said all you need to say," said Mr. Allen, who had joined us and was now trying to lead me away.
I walked off the steps with the headmaster on one side, Mr. Allen on the other, each with a hand on one of my shoulders. I couldn't take it, I just wanted to run away, so I broke out of their grasp and ran for the door.
"Peter, come back," shouted Mr. Allen, but I ignored him.
I burst out of the chapel and ran, I didn't know where I was going, didn't have a destination in mind, I just ran. I was overcome with despair, life had no meaning without Connor, he was my everything, all I ever wanted. I loved him completely and he returned my love without any kind of agenda, he was all heart. I ran until I couldn't breathe, eventually reaching the gym. That's when everything became clear, without Connor, my life was bleak and cold and not worth living. I tried to open the gym door but it was locked, so I grabbed a brick from a flowerbed and smashed the glass. I picked up another brick and then walked through the labyrinth of tunnels leading to the pool.
If you've never stood on the edge of the abyss, never felt your life come crashing down around you, never known what it feels like to be without love or hope, then you can't understand what drives someone to try and take his own life. You can be concerned, sympathetic and you can even try to help, but how can you know what it feels like if you've never been there? Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. The only problem with that argument is its rational and if you're at the point where you're about to swallow a bullet or jump from the nearest tall building, then you've already abandoned rational thought.
I took off my jacked and folded it neatly, then set it on a bench. I placed my glasses on the jacket, then picked up my bricks and climbed onto the platform that the divers used. I put the bricks into my pockets and stepped to the edge, this was the right decision, I couldn't handle a world without Connor in it, I simply closed my eyes, spread my arms and tumbled forward.
I splashed into the water and thanks to the bricks I'd stuffed in my pockets, I sank to the bottom. I had to fight the urge to scramble to the surface for breath. I thought of Connor, pictured him waiting for me in heaven and felt at peace. I was distracted by a splash above me, just before everything went black.