A Girl's Story Chapter 39
This part of the story tells how our lovely protagonist dealt with two terrible losses in her life. She comes through because she has a woman who loves her and friends who supported her.
Part 39: More Loss, Just Not Out of the Blue this Time.
I got up at three in the morning on September 6th to watch Diana's funeral. I could remember, though the memory was a bit fuzzy, of sitting with Mom and watching her wedding on TV, I was just six at the time and so now I felt I needed to watch her funeral to close the circle. Lisa got up with me and we sat on the couch along with our friend Carrie. Both girls took turns holding onto me because much of the time I was a hot mess. There were two times I totally lost it, taking Lisa and Carrie right down with me: the first was the image in the procession of her coffin with the card on it from her boys that simply read "Mummy," the other was Elton John singing "Goodbye England's Rose." I wasn't much use to anyone for the rest of the day, I was even too upset to fuck. At some point I fell asleep on the couch and when I woke up I could hear Lisa and Carrie fucking each other but I just didn't feel like joining them.
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I made lasagna to take over to Owen and Dennis' house for our Sunday dinner. I was glad to see Abigail was there and, to my surprise, she had a guy with her. Grannie T was smiling, as her sister put it, "Like a possum eating a sweet potato," leading me to think she had some role in introducing the two of them.
"Andre, these are my friends Lisa and Cindy. Lisa and I have had many classes together and Cindy is her girlfriend; she's also the cook."
Andre was about the same height as Lisa but he was a very solid looking guy. He had light brown skin and masses of freckles along with light brown curly hair. Lisa, who was a much better judge of these things, told me she thought he was quite handsome and I was happy to go along with her assessment.
"Abigail has told me a lot about you girls. Lisa, were you in the same vocal performance class that I was last spring?"
Lisa nodded, "I remember you. You have quite the bass voice."
He turned to me, "I've heard tell of your legendary Cajun food, Dr. Harrison speaks highly of your talents."
"Thanks." I did my best not to mumble, which got me a pat on the butt from Lisa and a whispered "Good girl."
"Andre's in the university acapella men's group; they have a concert this week if you want to come."
Andre certainly loved to eat because there was not much lasagna left. Rita let him know that he was expected to help clean up while she packed up the leftovers for Grannie T and Auntie A to have for dinner in the coming week.
Back at home Lisa gave me a long kiss right there in the kitchen. "That's for accepting Andre's compliment. You're getting so much better at that baby." She said that as she was unbuttoning my jeans and sliding her hand inside. I could feel her warm fingers brushing against my pussy which made me nice and tingly. I reached up under her shirt to unhook her bra, letting it fall to the floor so that I could squeeze her warm breasts and play with her very hard nipples.
I almost fell getting into the bed because my jeans were down around my ankles, along with my panties. Lisa got those off of me and, very seductively, wriggled out of her jeans, before she pushed me onto the bed. I pressed her now naked body on top of mine and, starting very slowly, proceeded to rub her pussy and tits and against mine. I was wriggling under her, rubbing back against her with my slightly fatter tits. I got my thick legs wrapped around her, holding her body tight to mine as I jerked under her, she gave me a nice bite on my shoulder as she shivered with her orgasm.
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I was sitting in the parish hall after church, as usual, sipping my tea and waiting for Lisa to come down from the choir loft. I waved to Dr. H's wife, Eileen, and she came over to me.
"I'm afraid I can't stay and chat Cindy, I need to go soon; Ira is in the hospital."
I am sure my face went pale, "What? What's wrong?"
"The doctors are working on that. He has been getting weaker and weaker over the past few years and in the last few months he has found it getting harder to breathe. He's not up to seeing visitors right now but when he feels better I will let you know. It would lift his spirits to see you."
I told Lisa the news when she came down. She took me by the hand and we went back into the church to light a candle for our friend. Mrs. Hirschhorn had been very vague about Dr. H's condition and that left me worried.
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Owen had a party to celebrate his new batch of beer. He had been going on and on about how he wanted to duplicate Anchor Steam beer, and to be honest I had trouble following all the details of the process. Lisa reminded me to listen politely to remind me that not everyone was as interested in things like trains and motorcycles as I was; she had a point. The beer, however, was very good. I did like that Owen had named it "Locomotive Breath," after the Jethro Tull song. He had even made his own labels for the bottles; Dennis told me when Owen takes up a hobby he goes all-in and this was certainly true about brewing.
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The IWU music school fall program was in late September. There was one night for vocal music and one for instrumental music and I went to both. Lisa was singing with the university chorus and Andre would be with the acapella group. I was very excited when I saw Dr. H arrive, I had been worried about him; me hugging him in his wheelchair made him blush a little and his wife found that quite funny. It was hard for him to talk, it was like he couldn't catch his breath, but he did take the time to tell me about the sky this time of year. I introduced him to Abigail (she would be playing with the orchestra the next night), she remembered him from her astronomy class her first year at IWU. Dennis was there as well with his great-aunt and grandmother, they had both played a bit of a matchmaker role with Andre and Abigail and they both also loved music.
Lisa reminded me that she would not always be a soloist, sometimes you are just part of the group, but I still thought she was the best; she was certainly the sexiest with her white hair cascading over her shoulder. I did really like the acapella group, they did a song I had heard done by The Nylons called "This Island Earth." Dr. H found it very moving, I saw him wiping away tears.
The next night I was there to hear Abigail with the orchestra and Amber playing with a jazz quintet. I guess I hadn't realized how good Amber was on the saxophone but she was really good. Amber had always gone back and forth between guys and girls and currently she was dating a girl who worked in a bar near the campus. We got to meet her, she was quite cute and had a wicked sense of humor, I liked her even if it meant I didn't get to eat Amber's pussy as often as I would like to.
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We went home for several weekends in a row in October to help with Mrs. Graff's school board campaign. Lisa and I actually went door to door passing out campaign literature and that was really hard for both of us, without a big push from somewhere or someone we are both pretty shy. I much preferred delivering yard signs, those I could just stick in the yards of people who requested them and move on. We did encounter some nasty people who somehow knew we were the two lesbians who had "Caused so much trouble." We would get away from them pretty fast, it wasn't like they would vote for Mrs. G anyway.
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We were on our way home, we were in Lisa's car, when my phone rang.
"Cindy? This is Donna." Donna was one of Dr. H's younger granddaughters, she was a couple of years older than me and Lisa. I remembered Donna was being almost "Bubbly" so hearing her voice being so serious got me worried.
"Hi Donna. How is your granddad?" Dr. H had been in the hospital for a while but he had been able to come home and to go see the musical performances.
"Cindy, he's not good. He's back at home now and we have a hospice nurse for him. His doctor doesn't think he has much longer."
That was it, the tears were running down my face. I had known, somewhere in my head, that Dr. Hirschhorn was an old man, he was in his eighties, but I had never thought a lot about him actually dying. Lisa looked over at me, "Dr. H?" I nodded and I could see those amazing blue eyes filling with tears too.
"Can you and Lisa come by the house? He's been asking for you and I think it would make him happy to see you girls."
"We're on our way home. We will come straight to his house when we get into town."
Lisa held my hand all the way home. She was upset but she had told me she had her faith to fall back on, she once told me "If Dr. H doesn't make it into heaven none of the rest of us will either." It was times like this I wished I had a faith like hers.
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We went into the house and Dr. H was in a recliner, propped up with lots of pillows. "Cynthia! Lisa! I am so glad to see you girls." I did something I rarely did, I gave him a hug.
"I'm glad to see you too Dr. H."
He looked at me, that twinkle was still there in his eyes, "You've been crying, haven't you?"
I nodded, "I'm not ready for you to go yet, you silly old man."
"I know my dear. I know you will miss me, but everything comes to an end eventually, even the universe itself has an end date."
I sat there with him for a long time, listening to stories I had heard many times before; about his growing up here in Illinois, being drafted in 1942, surviving Saipan, meeting his life-long friend Hiram Chee and spending long months in the bed next to him in an Australian hospital. He told me about using his GI Bill benefits to come to IWU to major in physics and then being accepted into the graduate program at New Mexico State in Las Cruces. We talked for a long time, being interrupted by the Hirschhorn's two rather fat cats, Caroline and Annie (named for famous female astronomers) demanding attention. Caroline, in particular, liked plopping herself in my lap; Lisa often commented on how animals just seemed to like me and, to her, that was proof I was a good person.
This went on all week. I would go over to the house and sit with Dr. H, mostly listening and petting the cats. I did ask him some things and he would give pretty long answers, he was one of those people who knew something about everything and he was a natural teacher.
"Are you scared? I mean, you seem to be so calm about dying; I'd be totally freaking out."
"Maybe it was all the time I spent with Native people during my life; I know that there is one thing true for every life on this planet, eventually it ends. Hiram and I talked a lot about this when we were recovering in the hospital, and we had lots of time to talk. I mean, if that Japanese mortar round had landed a few feet closer to us neither one of us would have survived. Hiram took that as a sign that there was more he needed to do in his life and that rubbed off on me. He told me how many tribes have an idea called the Barefoot Trail; how that when this part of our life ends there will be a whole new journey for us."
"Do you think there is something after this life?"
"I'm too much of a scientist to make any definitive statement. I know what I believe; I believe there is a life after this one and my faith tells me I will see all my friends again and personally think I will see all my animal friends who have also gone before me. I don't know what the answer is but I will be finding out soon."
I started to cry again, "I don't want you to go!"
He chuckled softly, "Given my choice I wouldn't want to either. But my time is coming soon, or so my nurse Olivia says. She's been wonderful; she's made all this easier for Eileen and the girls."
The next night I came over and Dr. H was sleeping. I just sat in the chair next to him with Annie demanding my attention. He gave a raspy snore and woke up; his voice was very thin and raspy now. "Hello Cynthia. It's good to see you again."
"I'm glad to see you too Dr. H."
"Cynthia, I will need you to do something for me."
"Anything. What do you need?"
"I want you to read something at my service," this made me tear up again, "I am sure the rector will be vexed with me insisting on the Rite One service but I love how that service is closer to Archbishop Cranmer's original work. Anyway, I want you to read a poem. I always thought I would have one of my students do this, I've thought a lot about this since my heart attack back in 1990, but you have been a wonderful student and so I want you to do it. It's a poem called `The Old Astronomer,' I am sure Lisa can help you find it. I want you to read it and I want you to think of me when you look up at the sky."
I was holding Annie tighter than she liked and she was getting annoyed with me but I was desperately trying to not start bawling again. "I'll go to the library and find it and I'll even practice it."
He patted my hand, "Thank you my dear."
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Back at the apartment I was a sloppy mess. Lisa let me lay on the bed with my head on her boob and she just let me cry it out; she had grabbed some dishtowels to keep from getting too gross. She was crying a fair amount too when I recounted all the stories Dr. H had told me.
I knew it was coming, but when Jennifer (his oldest daughter) called me the next day I knew what she was going to say. She said he had died early that morning, with his family and the cats there. She told me had woken up, smiled broadly, "Just like his old self" and said, "Hello Hiram," and then he closed his eyes and exhaled and he was gone. The service would be the next Saturday and that gave me time to find something to wear.
We picked up Holly, I trust her and Lisa to dress me properly (and to undress me). They didn't push anything too crazy and I appreciated that. We found a black dress with the Mandarin collar that I like. Lisa totally agreed that I should wear my black high-tops, Holly rolled her eyes at that. I was feeling kind of guilty that I felt a since of relief now; Lisa understood, she said with the terrible waiting being over we could now look at life with new eyes. I kissed her right there in the store, whispering in her ear how unbelievably horny I was. She grabbed my hand and Holly's and practically pulled us out to the car.
Holly and Lisa had me naked and on the bed in short order. Lisa was between my legs, two fingers into my pussy while she spanked my clit with her other hand (this always drove me wild). Holly was sitting on my face, her damp, hairless pussy pressed to my mouth so I could push my tongue up inside her. I reached up, feeling for her big, firm tits and squeezing them hard (Holly has very sensitive tits). Lisa got to safety when I started thrashing and she held on to Holly to keep her from being thrown off the bed.
I pulled Lisa up against me so that her back was mashing my tits, getting her graceful neck in the crook of my elbow with my free hand pinching her hard, pink nipples. Holly was between her legs, looking up with those pretty green eyes and pushing her tongue into Lisa's pussy. I started squeezing tighter on Lisa's neck as I felt her warm naked body quivering and soon enough Holly's red hair was soaking wet as Lisa exploded, moaning loudly as she did.
We took turns between Holly's legs, licking her very wet pussy while both of us inwardly wished she still had her soft, red bush. Holly was close to the edge and it didn't take long at all for her to emerge into a towering, moaning orgasm that I was sure scared the customers at the head show next door.
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The morning of Dr. Hirschhorn's service Lisa pretty much had to dress me, I was a total emotional train wreck. I had found several versions of the poem "The Old Astronomer," all of them made me cry but Lisa helped me pick out the one that I felt flowed the best. It's an old poem so without any copyrights people have modified it a lot over the years. I had practiced it a lot, even subjected my friends at The Mersey Ferry to it; Owen told me I had a good voice for reading poetry and it made Donna and Dennis both cry.
The church was totally full. Lisa was up with the choir so I was sitting in the second row feeling quite alone. I was lost enough in my thoughts that I didn't notice Katherine and Erin slide in next to me, both wearing their full-dress uniforms. Katherine told me, with both of them no longer being active duty Marines that this was against protocol, but they had agreed that Dr. Hirschhorn was a hero and they were here to bear witness to that. I was a little shocked when Katherine held my hand, but I was glad she did.
One of the reasons I had decided on my dress was that it had pockets and I put them to use, I had a red bandanna tucked in each one to try to keep myself presentable. I had a hard time looking at the urn with Dr. H's ashes in it so I looked around the church a lot. There was an Army honor guard there and I noticed two other men in Marine Corps uniforms who certainly looked to be Native Americans. The service was a very tradition Episcopal liturgy, and I was holding together pretty well until the choir sang one of Dr. H's favorite hymns, "All Things Bright and Beautiful." I was good until we got to the chorus and I could hear Lisa's voices ringing out with the other sopranos:
All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
After than came several people talking about Dr. Hirschhorn, the first was a woman who introduced herself as Hiram Chee's daughter. She told us how Ira (she called him Ira, I never was able to bring myself to do that) had helped her get into New Mexico State and how he and Eileen had welcomed students from many different tribes into their home and that they made sure they always had a dinner on Sunday. She credited him with inspiring Navajo tribal members to establish the Diné College, where she was now a chemistry instructor. She spoke about his respect for the star knowledge of her ancestors and his work, along with her father, to help other veterans on the reservation. I looked over and saw Erin trying wipe away some tears and Katherine struggling hard to maintain her composure.
Another speaker was from the Vatican Observatory in Arizona. He talked of Dr. Hirschhorn welcoming a young Jesuit brother to the NMSU campus and how they spent many hours discussing science and faith. I knew Dr. H had been a man of science and a man of faith and so learning that he had been invited to speak at a conference at the Vatican on the faith of scientists did not surprise me at all. He also told us all that he brought with him the prayers of the staff of the observatory, both in Arizona and in Italy, as well as a message of condolence from the pope himself, who also had an interest in astronomy.
Then it was my turn; Katherine patted me on the thigh, "Honor your friend Cynthia."
I got up to the lectern, I had the poem printed out because I was sure there was no way I could memorize it. I did like Lisa does before she sings; I looked down, took a deep breath, and then looked up. I could see Lisa in the choir loft, she was standing up, with the Sun coming through the stained glass and shining on her white hair.
"Good morning. My name is Cindy Manning and Dr. Hirschhorn was my friend." I started off pretty good,
Reach me down my Tycho Brahe, for I would know him when we meet
The poem tells of a dying Galileo saying farewell to his student; I did my best not to let my voice break but when I got to the middle (which is the part most people have heard) it was hard for me to get through,
Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Then came the last line,
God will mercifully guide me on my way amongst the stars.
I tried not to mumble but my voice was really shaky, "Good-bye Dr. Hirschhorn. I will miss you."
As I went to sit back down I was utterly shocked when Katherine got up and hugged me.
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Lisa had decided that I would be too much of a mess to drive, so we were in her white Subaru, Alcyone. We drove along to the city cemetery and that took us through the IWU campus, right past the observatory. I once again began bawling because, as we passed through the campus gate, I saw almost the entire faculty wearing their academic robes like it was graduation, standing along the sidewalks on both side of the street along with a large number of students.
Katherine told me the two Marines were Hiram's grandsons. Once was stationed in Georgia, the other was in California. They had both followed their grandfather's example and volunteered, one right out of high school, the other went through ROTC in college. Lisa and I were standing close to the Hirschhorn family as the rector led the prayers, then came the military honors. An Army sergeant came over to Eileen with a carefully folded American flag; his words made me start crying again.
"On behalf of the president of the United State, the United States Army, and with the thanks of a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation of your husband's honorable and faithful service."
The soldiers, along with Katherine, Erin, and Hiram's grandsons all saluted Eileen; then came the rifle volley. Lisa and I both flinched; Katherine and Erin (naturally) did not.
After that the acapella ensemble sang on of Dr. H's favorite songs, "This Island Earth," that got me to crying again. This was the first time someone I knew well had died and it was a hard time for me. I was glad that there had been time to prepare myself, and I was even more glad I had Lisa, and my friends, to help me through it. I spent the rest of the day on the couch with Lisa listening to Pink Floyd's Wish You Were Here.
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I still felt sad when I would look up in the sky at night and think, "I should ask Dr. H what that is," only to remember I couldn't do that now. Lisa would hug me tight and tell me, "Someday you will get to be the one explaining something in the sky to someone and you will remember that sweet man and think about how proud he would be of you." She was right, that helped.
Right before Halloween I got a letter from a law firm asking me to set up a meeting with the executor of the Dr. Hirschhorn's estate, along with the family attorney, as soon as possible. I wasn't sure to do with this, but we were heading home for Election Day, hopefully to celebrate Mrs. Graff getting elected to the school board and I decided I would ask her.
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We didn't see a lot of Carrie, which we both agreed was a good thing. We missed her luscious naked body but we both wanted her to be her own woman. I would see her at the QSA meetings, and she was certainly popular with the other girls, but Carrie was picky and I was proud of her for that. She was so cute she could have her pick of girls but she really wanted to find someone where she could have a relationship like me and Lisa.
I invited her to our place on the night of her birthday, she was turning 19, for dinner, cake, and pussy. She really liked the last one. I had asked Holly if she could make a small cake and she was happy to do that since it meant Carrie could eat her pussy too. Holly did a circus-themed cake since Carrie had told us she had joined the campus circus group. ISU's Gamma Phi circus had been a running thing since 1929 and Carries was going to be one of the acrobats. She had taken gymnastics classes for several years and she was very flexible.
After dinner and cake, it was time to spank the birthday girl. We were all naked now and sitting on the couch. Carrie started by laying across Lisa's lap and Lisa gave her six good swats with her hand before kissing her for a long time and passing her off to Holly. Holly did the same, finishing with pressing Carrie's cute face to her big tit to suck on her hard nipple. I went last, spanking Carrie's adorable pink bottom seven times to get to a total of nineteen.
Carrie was kneeling on the floor, her little finger in the corner of her mouth and looking sexy as hell. "May I have my birthday pussy now?"
I grabbed her by her red hair, "Yes you can, you sexy little bitch," and I pulled her in between my legs, moaning as she went to work on my pussy. I could feel her warm tongue caressing my lips and clit and she had her hand under me to stick her finger up into my butt. Carries was, and still is, a pain slut so when I started thrashing my heel smashing her firm tit actually brought out a happy moan.
Next, she pushed apart Lisa's strong legs and buried her cute face in Lisa's wet white bush. I got down on the floor behind Carrie and started licking her butthole. She had told us that she loved feeling a girl's tongue in her butt, but that Charlotte (her bitch of a sister) rarely cared about her little sister's pleasure. Lisa got Carrie's red hair nice and wet with her strong orgasm.
Carries ate Holly's bald pussy last, her tongue flicking across Holly's swollen clit. Holly was close to orgasm and she was sucking on her boobs, I was so jealous she could do that, when she climaxed. She then got down on the floor between Carrie's legs, which were also nice and muscular, and brought her to orgasm with her hard nipple.
Carrie was one cute, happy lesbian; she told us this was the best birthday she had had in years. We talked for a while, still naked, and she told us all about how she got to "Run away and join the circus." It was good to see her so happy.
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We drove home on Election night to be with everyone to (hopefully) celebrate Mrs. Graff's victory. Mr. G, Katherine, Erin, Rita, and Jan were all there and Ellie drove down from Mattoon to be there too. Mrs. Graff was talking to a reporter so I took the letter I had gotten in the mail over to show to Mr. Graff.
"I got this in the mail and I'm not sure what it means. Maybe I'm just paranoid but I wanted to make sure I'm not in trouble."
He read it over and smiled at me, "You're not in trouble Cindy. This letter is telling you that someone left you something in their will and so you need to meet with the executor of the estate, probably a member of their family, and this attorney to sign some papers to accept the bequest. Did someone you know die?"
I was tearing up, I tended to do that when I thought of my friend Dr. Hirschhorn, and I nodded. Katherine, who had been listening, spoke up for me, "I went to the service; Cynthia's friend was a very good man and a hero also. She did a good job honoring his memory; he sounded like he was a good friend."
My voice was very quiet, "He was and I miss him a lot."
Mr. Graff smiled warmly (unusual for him), "He sounds like an amazing person; he certainly seems to have made an impression on you and Ms Nettleford."
At about nine o'clock Mrs. Graff got a phone call from the county clerk's office informing her that she had won, and by a sizeable margin at that. There was a lot of cheering; Lisa and I would have love to have seen Mrs. Cohn's sour face when she heard this news. We both hoped that it would not be too many years before gay students would be at least accepted at school, maybe even welcomed.
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Lisa went with me to the lawyer's office. Jennifer, Dr. H's oldest daughter, was there as the executor of his estate as well as the family's attorney and a grandmotherly-looking secretary.
Jennifer gave me a big hug, "You did a nice job reading Dad's favorite poem. He always tried to get us kids, and his grandkids, interested in astronomy, but none of us were that excited about it. He loved talking to you because you really had an interest. He would have loved to have had you as one of his students. Lisa was holding me tight as I struggled not to start bawling yet again.
We sat down and the lawyer read out the part of the will that applied to me, "To my young friend Miss Cynthia Manning I leave my 4 ½-inch Edmund reflecting telescope, as well as my star maps and my copy of Burnham's Celestial Handbook. I hope that in the years to come she will use these gifts to explore the heavens and to think of this silly old man whenever she does"
It was hard for me to sign the papers because my eyes were filled with tears. Lisa had thoughtfully brought one of my red bandannas which I put to good use.
The man who inspired the character of Dr. Hirschhorn was a good friend to me and his death was a huge blow to me. I've experienced other losses in my life, but these were the first and they were terribly hard. I got through because I had friends who cared for me and refused to let me wallow in grief. I love hearing from you (cattingcindy@yahoo.com) and please donate to Nifty (https://donate.nifty.org)