A Day at the Beach

Shane Spiers is sitting on a bench waiting for the bus to come and carry him back to a place he hasn't seen in years; a place he ran away from as a boy and is returning to as a man. He runs his fingers through his curly brown hair that has natural blonde highlights thanks to his summer at the beach and he watches a young family walking by. The little boy is holding his father's hand and all of them are smiling. `The lucky ones have fathers,' he thinks. The thought brings memories of a childhood filled with broken promises and lost moments. A childhood where people, especially men, came and went like interchangeable pieces and no one stayed long enough to become irreplaceable. Even his mother had come and gone as she pleased, passing in and out of his life at random times. He loved her and he knew she couldn't stay with him so he always forgave her for leaving. After a while, he learned to accept her returns as the precious gifts they were. She would just show up one day and the two of them would instantly be mother and son again.

Shane spent a good deal of his first sixteen years of life being her son when she remembered she had one and covering for her during the times when she forgot. He knew she needed help but he didn't want her to be sent away so he kept her secret. He couldn't have friends over for fear that they would ask why his mother was acting so weird and he couldn't correct her lovers when they told him they didn't want to be with some junkie with a kid. He knew she wasn't on drugs, but he also knew that eliminating drugs as an excuse would lead to more questions. It amused him to think of how so many men failed to report that a young child was living in a dangerous situation.

He had to get away after his mother died. It was too hard to be in the same city as her decaying body and deal with knowing that she wasn't coming back anymore, so he left. He went to her funeral to say goodbye then he walked to the bus station and bought a ticket for the furthest city he could afford. He was smart though, he knew how to disappear. The bus made four stops on the way to its final destination. He got off on the second stop and didn't get back on, instead, he hitched a ride with a trucker who was headed south. He left behind everything; his clothes, his family, his home. He didn't want reminders of her.

Shane hears the first call for boarding and he goes and gets on the line. He left with nothing but he is returning with a bag full of possessions and the belief that he can face anything. He stands in the line and wonders what everyone will say when they see him. The skinny sixteen year-old boy who only had to shave once a week is returning as a twenty-two year old man who shaves every day. There is no denying he's changed.

He boards the bus and takes a seat a few rows behind the driver. A man dressed like a biker sits next to him.

"Where's your bike?" Shane jokes.

"Where's your mother?"

Shane bites his lower lip and decides that small talk with the stranger next to him has just been eliminated as an option. He pulls out a small book that Josh gave to him and he opens the book and reads the dedication:

TO THE BOY WHO MAKES THE SUN SHINE, FROM THE MAN WHO SOAKS UP THE RAYS

• Love Josh

Shane's fingers glide over the words hoping to make contact with a part of Josh, but Josh is gone. He closes the book and puts it back in his pocket, close to his heart, where it belongs.

If Shane could paint a picture of Josh it would be of a light skinned black man with the face of an angel. His brown eyes would be filled with joy and love. His lips would form a smile that was made to be shared. His dimples would be pronounced and offer a hint of his mischievous spirit. His shoulders would be broad and built to carry the weight of the world. His arms and his body wouldn't be overly muscular, but rather toned and defined in a way that announced he was a man.

Shane takes a deep breath as he imagines looking at a painting of Josh. He wonders if the brush-strokes would be able to capture Josh's essence. He reaches for his wallet and pulls out a picture of him and Josh. It was taken shortly after they met, during the first of many trips to the beach. They're standing close to each other wearing only their swim trunks. Josh's arm is around Shane and Josh towers over Shane, like a protector.

"Who's the black guy?" the biker asks.

"My friend."

"Oh. He looks a little old to be your friend. Is he slow or something?" Shane becomes visibly distraught. He wipes his eyes and puts the picture back in his wallet. "Hey kid, whatever it is, it will be okay. I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm not a kid," he states, flatly and simply. He turns his head and looks directly at the biker, "And he wasn't slow. He was fucking brilliant."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

Shane sits back in his seat and shuts his eyes in the hopes that the man will stop speaking to him. His plan works. The man watches him for a moment, wondering what his story is, then the man loses interest and tries to take a nap himself.

Shane remembers the day he first met Josh. The trucker had dropped Shane off at a gas station. Shane went inside and spent his last dollar buying a candy bar then he went outside and sat on the curb trying to decide his next move. A large shadow suddenly appeared.

"You know hitchhiking is dangerous?"

Shane looked up at the man. "Yeah, I know."

"So why'd you do it?"

"Who says I did it?"

"I've been watching you since you got off the truck. Now the truck is gone and you're still here, sitting on the curb, roasting in the sun with that suit on, while you think of your next move because you haven't planned that far ahead. Everything about you says runaway and everything about this situation says you hitched your way here." The man sat down next to Shane. "Well no one comes to the middle of no where to get away unless they're running from something big, so what do you say I buy you lunch and you tell me what you're running from?" Shane didn't answer. "You can plan your next move while you eat some real food. If you're running away, who knows when your next good meal may be." The man stood. "Look, I don't want anything from you. I've been where you are and I'm just trying to help. I came here to play my number so I'm going to go in and do that. When I come out, I'll ask for your decision, but before I go, is there anything I can get you, like a bottle of water or something?"

"Yes please. Water."

"Your trucker friend didn't give you anything to drink?" Shane shook his head. "See that's the trouble with riding with strangers. Some of them don't know a damn thing about hospitality. I'll be back in a minute." The man walked in the store and came back a few minutes later. He handed Shane a bottle of water. "So what's it going to be? Are you coming?" Shane stood and followed the man to his car. Once they were inside the car, the man said, "It's okay this time, but you really need to stop accepting rides from strangers. You never know when your luck might run out. Everyone on the road isn't nice."

Shane began to feel a little scared. "Where are we going?"

"There's a street with a lot or food joints about three blocks away from here. When we get there you can tell me what you'd like to eat and we'll get that."

"How am I supposed to pay you back?"

The man laughed. "Now you ask that question? You're going to pay me back by telling me what brings you here. That's all you have to do." The man focused on the road for a moment. "You don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable, but how did you pay the trucker?"

"I gave him ten dollars that I was saving for an emergency and I," Shane hesitated for a second, "I told him thank you." Shane and the man driving both knew Shane did more than tell the trucker thank you.

The man felt sorry for Shane so he tried to change the subject. "My name is Robert, by the way. Everyone calls me Rob." Shane didn't say anything. "So what's your name?"

"Shane," he responded without thinking.

"Is that your real name?"

"Yes, sir."

"Well it's nice to meet you, Shane."

"Nice to meet you, too, Rob."

"Who taught you to be so polite?" Rob was fishing for information, but Shane wasn't biting. Shane stared out his window and ignored the question. Rob decided he would wait until Shane had a plate of food in front of him before he asked more questions. Rob turned on the street and drove by about six restaurants, then he pulled in to a parking lot and stopped. "Those are the options. Where do you want to eat?"

"Waffle House."

"Waffle House it is. I haven't been there in a long time. My wife doesn't want me eating that kind of food." Rob drove to the Waffle House and the two went inside and got a table. "Order whatever you'd like, but make sure your eyes aren't bigger than your stomach. They give large portions down here."

Rob talked about the different meals he had tried and which ones he recommended. It wasn't long before Shane realized that Rob had tried almost every dish on the menu. "Is there anything on the menu, you haven't tried?" Shane asked.

"I haven't tried their new specials, because MaryEllen hasn't let me come here in three months, but today I have a business meeting with my new associate, so I had no choice."

"Is that what you're going to tell her?"

"No, that's what I'm going to tell her sister, who is headed this way."

A heavy set black woman walked over to the table. "Rob what are you doing here? You know MaryEllen will kill me if I serve you!" She gave Shane a quick once over. "And who is this boy you got with you?"

"Shane, this is my sister-in-law Hattie, and Hattie, this is Shane."

"First of all, don't come in my restaurant and refer to me as your sister-in-law. You and MaryEllen have been married forever. I'm your sister. Period. And second of all, you need to stop picking up strays before I tell MaryEllen."

"Shane isn't a stray. This is a business meeting and he is my new associate."

Hattie had a hearty laugh. "If this boy is your associate then I'm Halle Berry and we both know I aint Halle."

"You're just as pretty as she is," Rob said.

"And you're just as good at lying as you've ever been." Hattie looked at Shane, "Rob can't lie worth a dime. I don't know why he tries. He's not supposed to be here but I'll feed him because he's with you and you look like you haven't had a good meal in days. I can't send y'all away with you looking the way you do." She took a pencil out from behind her ear and held up her little notepad. "So what will it be Sweetie?" Rob began saying his order. "Now hush! You know I wasn't talking to you." She put her hand gently on Shane's arm. "What would you like, Honey?"

Shane placed his order and then Hattie turned to leave. "What about me?" Rob yelled.

"What about you? I'm going to call MaryEllen and find out what we have that fits in to that diet the doctor has you on and that's what you're going to eat."

"I should have known Hattie would be a problem if I ever did come in here," Rob whispered to Shane.

"We can go some where else," Shane offered.

"No, I promised you we would eat wherever you decided and this is it. I can live with what Hattie brings me." Rob took a quick look around. "You know I stumbled in to this town almost twenty years ago? I was probably a bit younger than you. You look about what, sixteen, seventeen?"

"Sixteen."

"I figured as much. I was fourteen. So I got you beat by two years."

"Yeah."

"I had my twelve year old brother with me though. You're traveling alone, right?"

"Yes."

"Did you start out traveling alone or were you with someone?"

"Alone."

"Yeah, most runaways usually start out alone. Have you thought about where you want to go after this?"

"I want to go to the beach. I've never been to a beach before."

"Where you're from doesn't have beaches?"

"We had one, but it was like a two hour drive."

"Oh." Hattie came out with the food and the conversation paused while Hattie distributed the food and warned Shane not to share his food with Rob. Rob waited until Shane had taken his first bite, then he asked, "So what are you running away from?"

"My mother died," Shane said between bites.

"I'm sorry to hear that. So she died and you didn't want to stay with your father?"

"My father wasn't around. He left when I was five. Probably because that's when mom started" Shane's sentence dropped off suddenly and he shoveled some food in his mouth hoping he could somehow stuff the words back in.

"Started what?"

Shane tried to think of a way to say it without really saying it and having to explain anything. "Started changing."

"Changing how?"

"I don't know," Shane lied. "I guess she stopped needing him."

"Do you have any other family?"

"No," Shane quickly responded. His years of covering for her with elaborate lies, had made it easy for him to shade the truth to the colors he wanted people to see. His mother was his immediate family, everyone else had been secondary.

"Did you run away to keep from going in to the system?"

"Yes, sir."

"I'll never understand you kids. Why would you run away from free housing and food until you're eighteen just to end up on the streets with no housing and no food?"

"You ran away, too," Shane argued.

"I wasn't running from the foster care system. I was running from the devil."

"Does the devil have a name?"

"Yes. His name was Chester Lee. He was my stepfather and he was an evil bitter old man and Josh and I were not his real kids."

"Did he beat you?" Shane asked.

"This meal isn't supposed to be about me, but yes. He beat us and he did his damndest to break us, but we ran away before he could."

"What about your mother?"

"She died shortly after Chester Lee officially adopted us. He didn't really want us as his sons, but he had to have a way of owning us in case something ever happened to her because we made his life easier. He could take out all his troubles on us and then he could go back in to the regular world and pretend to be a sweet old man." Rob took a swallow of his water. "Now you know a lot about me, tell me something about you."

"I love waffles."

Rob smiled. "I guess I left myself open for that one." Rob took another swallow of his water then said, "You should stop running. I won't force you to go back where you came from, because I know I can't, but maybe you should stop here for a while and get yourself together. The people here are nice for the most part. They're not as observant as I am, but they also haven't had the experiences that I've had. For me, this was the last stop on a road filled with so many places I wish I could forget. When I got here, it was like God gave me my own piece of heaven, then I saw MaryEllen and I knew I had to stay."

"So you and MaryEllen have been together since you were fourteen?"

"Only in my dreams. I was smitten with her the moment I laid eyes on her, but she didn't notice me until I was nineteen." Rob leaned forward and whispered, "She stole me from Rosetta Pearlman." Shane smiled. "You should come meet my MaryEllen. Today is Saturday, which means she's at home baking something or the other to take to church with her tomorrow. She always makes a little extra. I can't eat it, but Josh and the kids can and if you come, I'm sure she'll let you sample some."

"I wouldn't want to impose."

"You won't be imposing. You'll be doing me favor because I'll know that you're safe for at least another hour."

"I can't eat anything right now."

"That's fine. We can go fishing until you get hungry. I usually go fishing with Josh on Saturday anyway. He's probably wondering why I'm so late."

"Let me think about it."

"What's there to think about? You don't have somewhere else you have to be. What's a few more hours in this small town?"

"Fine."

"Great!"

Hattie came over to check on the guys. "Rob, what are you so excited about?"

"Shane is going to go meet MaryEllen, then he's going fishing with me."

"So you're staying?" she asked Shane.

"For a few more hours," Shane responded.

"Okay, but if you don't plan on staying longer than that, then you best be long gone before Rob wakes up in the morning."

"Hattie!" Rob exclaimed.

"Don't Hattie me. That last stray you took in broke your heart and MaryEllen's. I'm just telling the boy that if he don't want to stay here he shouldn't prolong his visit, because you'll get attached and then he'll leave just like the others and you're going to cry about another one you couldn't save."

"Hattie, please!"

"I've said my piece." Rob stood and Shane followed suit. "Tell MaryEllen, I said be careful."

"Yes Hattie." Rob and Shane walked to the car.

"You know you forgot to pay." Shane stated as he opened his door.

"Hattie doesn't charge me. I'm her brother! Besides, I don't charge her when she eats at my restaurant."

"You have a restaurant?"

"Yes. It's on the other side of town. My son, Michael runs it for me."

"How old is he?"

"He's twenty four."

"You said you were fourteen when you ran away and you've been here for twenty years so doesn't that make you like thirty four?"

"Yes."

"And you have a twenty four year old son?"

"MaryEllen and I adopted Mike when he was seventeen. We didn't want him to age out of the system and not have a family." Rob turned on the ignition. "We're foster parents. God hasn't blessed us with biological children, but he's given us many blessings. We have Mike and right now we have three boys and two girls staying with us. They're spending the weekend at Hattie's farm with her kids. If you stay until tomorrow evening, you'll get to meet them."

Rob thought that Shane hadn't noticed that he was carefully giving Shane reasons to extend his stay, but Shane had noticed and Shane had decided to take Hattie's advice and be long gone before Sunday morning.

Rob drove Shane away from the city, to a place where dirt roads were the only type of roads you could turn on to. Eventually, they turned on one of the dirt roads and drove down. There were two houses in front of them and they pulled up to the house on the left. Rob stopped the car and got out. Shane followed him. The screen door on the house was unlocked so Rob walked right in and headed towards the smell of fresh apple pie. Rob walked in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around his wife.

"Honey, I'm home," he teased as he lovingly kissed her on the neck.

"I hear you've had quite a day."

"Yeah. I brought a present home for you."

MaryEllen rubbed her hands on her apron and turned around. She spotted Shane standing in the doorway. "Come over here so I can get a good look at you," she ordered. Shane slowly walked over and stood in front of her. She eyed him up and down, then asked, "Would you like some apple pie?"

"No thank you, ma'am."

"What about peach cobbler?"

"No thank you. I just ate."

"You're a young man, you're supposed to eat all day. My boys eat like their stomachs are bottomless pits and don't get me started on Robert. He'd eat like that too if I didn't keep a close eye on him. The doctor wants him to lose twenty pounds so he can be heathier."

"Shane doesn't need to know about that." Rob protested.

MaryEllen kept her attention on Shane. "So how long you staying?"

"Not long. A few hours maybe."

"A few hours? Nonsense. You should stay for dinner and then it will probably be too late to leave so you might as well stay until the morning. Some of Mike's old clothes should fit you." MaryEllen put her hands on her hip. "You look like the type that likes to play hardball. What will it be, apple pie and a huge scoop of ice cream for a yes ma'am I'll stay until morning?"

"Maybe Shane doesn't like ice cream," Rob said.

"I like ice cream," Shane told them.

"Well then it's settled. I'll see you two at dinner time."

Shane kind of nodded his head and surrendered. Rob and his wife had a way of bulldozing people with a gentleness that made the people lay down in front of the bulldozer and accept what was coming. Shane didn't want to stay, but he couldn't say no.

Rob led Shane upstairs so he could put on some of Mike's old clothes then they went outside and walked down a small trail to the left of the house. The trail led to a fishing pond. When Rob and Shane arrived, Josh was already there, sitting in a chair, waiting for something to nibble on his bait. Josh had a hat pulled down on his head and he was half asleep when Rob put his hand on his shoulder. Josh dropped his fishing pole and his eyes opened.

"You're late," he said as he reached down and picked up the pole.

"I brought company," Rob replied.

"Company?" Josh turned around and saw Shane standing next to Rob. "Who's this?"

"This is Shane." Rod answered.

Josh extended his hand. "Nice to meet you Shane."

"Nice to meet you, too sir."

"Call me Josh."

"Okay, Josh."

Josh held Shane's hand for a few seconds longer than necessary as he tried to dismiss his initial reaction that the boy was very attractive and replace it with a more appropriate reaction such as the boy was adorable in a little puppy kind of way. "So where did my brother pick you up at?"

"The gas station."

"Why am I not surprised? Do all the runaways stop at the gas station?"

"No," Rob answered. "I'm sure most of them don't stop at all."

Josh was unable to take his eyes off of Shane. "Do you know how to fish?" he asked.

"No."

"Well I only have one extra rod and that's for my brother, but I can teach you with mine if you'd like."

"I think I should teach him," Rob said.

"If you let Rob teach you, I guarantee you'll be walking back with an empty bucket."

Rob hit Josh on his arm. "I caught a fish last week."

"One fish to my six."

Shane laughed. "Oh, you think that's funny," Rob asked with a smile on his face. "Fine let him teach you and we'll see how many fish you catch today."

Rob grabbed his fishing pole and got it ready, then he sat in a chair on the other side of Josh and cast his line. Josh was about to reel his line in, when he got a nibble. He stood and had Shane stand in front of him and hold the pole, then he talked Shane through reeling in the fish. They put the fish in Josh's bucket and Josh announced, "That's one for Shane! How many do you have Rob?"

"I'm just getting started," Rob said.

Over the next few hours, Josh taught Shane about fishing and Shane caught four fish in total. While Rob caught nothing. Josh and Shane had a natural rapport with each other. Rob noticed that the two were really getting along, but he thought little of his thirty two year old brother being friendly with sixteen year old Shane because Josh was always friendly to everyone.

They took the fish back to Rob's house and MaryEllen put the fish away while the guys relaxed on the porch drinking ice cold lemonade. Shane found himself understanding how other runaways had gotten lost in Rob and MaryEllen's vortex for a while. Their home was a place no one would want to leave and they were two of the kindest people he had ever met.

While on the porch talking with Rob and Josh, Shane found out that MaryEllen volunteered at the elementary school during the week and spent most of her evenings trying to keep up with the kids and their various activities. He learned that Rob gave all of the food that was leftover in the evenings at the restaurant to people who needed it. MaryEllen and Rob were the type of people who found joy in giving and didn't feel the need to brag about what they did. Josh did feel that need though. It was clear that Josh admired Rob and MaryEllen and he was proud of both of them. They gave so much of themselves and asked for so little in return.

After eating dinner and enjoying dessert, Josh said he was going home to catch some shut eye. Shane walked Josh to the door and thanked him for showing him how to fish, then Shane watched in amusement as Josh made the short walk to the house next door and waved goodbye in the dark.

Josh made Shane feel a way that Shane hadn't felt since his first time with Bobby Coller and Shane made Josh feel as if his deepest fears were going to come true. Josh did not want to have a thing for a boy who was not only half his age, but also, his brother's latest rescue project.

Shane went to sleep wondering what it would be like to experiment with Josh. He had wonderful dreams and that, combined with his exhaustion from staying up all the night before, caused Shane to sleep late in to the afternoon. When Shane finally did bounce down the stairs, Josh was sitting in the livingroom.

"The sun has decided to rise and bless me with it's presence," Josh announced. Shane looked confused. "Sorry. I don't like waiting on people. I'm impatient by nature. That's why I can't get married."

"You don't want to get married?"

"No, not really."

"Why not?"

Josh had an opening to tell Shane that he might be gay, but he chickened out. "I haven't met the right person, I guess."

"When I get married. I'm going to marry a man," Shane stated. He said it as if there was nothing out of the ordinary about his words.

"You're gay?" Josh asked.

"Yes, sir. Do you think Rob will still want me around after I tell him?"

"He's had gay foster children before. He'll be okay with it." Josh paused. "Does that mean you're staying for a while?"

"No. I was just wondering."

"Well you should stay. Rob and MaryEllen couldn't say no to someone in your situation." Shane sat in a chair. "So what are you running away from?" Josh asked.

"Everything and everyone, but mostly my family," Shane responded.

"Is that the reason you gave Rob?"

"No."

"I figured that. Otherwise he would have been on the phone yesterday trying to track down your family."

"Are you going to tell him?"

"No. They must be pretty bad if you ran away. I wouldn't send you back." They sat for a moment. "Do you want some breakfast? MaryEllen left food for you."

"Sure."

Shane opens his eyes on the bus and he still can see images of him sitting across the table from Josh on the first morning of the start of his new life. Shane checks his watch to see how much time has passed, then he closes his eyes again and tries to work his way through his memories to the first time he kissed Josh.

Sunday evening, Shane met Rob's foster children. The three boys: Kenny, Deonte and Jonathon were 14, 13 and 12, and the two girls, Bertha and Jocelyn were 13 and 11. They all seemed unfazed by his sudden arrival. The children went about their business so Shane spent most of his time talking with the adults. Rob and MaryEllen offered him Mike's old room for as long as he wished to stay, but he politely declined.

After dinner, Josh offered to give Shane a ride to town before it got too dark outside. Shane changed in to his suit. It was clean thanks to MaryEllen. He took a moment to smell his dress shirt then he put it on and buttoned it. He carried his tie and blazer in his hand. MaryEllen and Rob tried to get him to take some of Mike's old clothes, but he didn't want to leave with anything that wasn't his.

Josh and Shane headed down the road in Josh's truck. Josh was trying hard to keep his eyes on the road and off of Shane, but he couldn't resist stealing peeks at the handsome boy that he might never see again. He wondered why the boy would choose to keep running when he had a place he could stay for a while.

Josh finally asked, "Are you sure you want to go? You could stay with Rob and MaryEllen."

"I know."

"Why are you leaving then?"

"I want to go to the beach."

"I can take you to the beach." Shane bit his lower lip. "Do you want me to take you?"

"When? Now? It's almost dark."

"We can go back to Rob's house and I'll take you in the morning."

"I"

"Don't say no. I'm not supposed to come back without you."

Shane thought about Josh's words. "So this was a setup?"

"Yes."

"Why do you guys want me to stay?"

"Rob and MaryEllen want to help you and I, well I want to help you too."

"I'll stay one more night, but that's it. Tomorrow when you take me to the beach, I'll move on from there."

"Okay."

Josh turned the truck around and drove back to Rob's house. MaryEllen and Rob were waiting on the porch when Josh and Shane returned. MaryEllen hugged Shane and walked him in the house.

"I knew you were coming back," she said as she led him up the stairs. "Is there anything I can get you before you go to bed?"

"No thank you ma'am."

Shane was changing in to some of Mike's pajamas when there was a knock at the door. "Come in," he said.

Josh opened the door. Shane was in the process of buttoning his pajama top. "You're going to be hot in that," Josh warned.

Shane started undoing the buttons. "I don't usually wear a shirt to bed, but MaryEllen gave it to me."

"What did you sleep in last night?"

"Underwear."

"Oh." Josh tried to shake the image of Shane in his underwear but he couldn't. The image hovered in his mind and distracted him from saying his next sentence.

"Did you come up to say goodnight?" Shane asked. Josh watched Shane pull the shirt open and take it off then walk over and hang it up in the closet.

"You're neat." Josh stated.

"I've always been good at keeping things in their place." Shane said it in a way that revealed he was good at cleaning up all kinds of messes and a way that implied he had lots of experience cleaning up after people. There was something about his words that resonated with Josh.

"Things and people, or just things?" Josh asked, hoping to pry in to Shane's past a little more.

"Both," Josh replied.

"You're a fixer. Rob's a fixer too. He lives to make life better for other people and to fix the messes they make. He's fixed more of my messes than I care to count." Josh sighed and decided he should remove himself from Shane's presence because he was having trouble keeping his eyes on Shane's face. "I came up to tell you I'll be here at dawn."

"What time is dawn?"

"Just listen for the rooster. If that doesn't wake you up then the sound of those boys running around getting ready for school sure will."

"Okay." Josh said goodnight and turned his back to walk down the hallway. Shane called after him, "Josh."

Josh turned around. "Yes."

"I don't have anything to wear to the beach."

"Neither do I. We'll stop and buy something on the way."

Shane approached Josh and hugged him. "Thanks for convincing me to spend another night here."

"You weren't too hard to convince," Josh joked. Josh's hands were making contact with the bare flesh of Shane's back and Josh experienced the urge to let his hands indulge in the smoothness of Shane's skin. The urge scared Josh so he pushed Shane away and said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." Shane closed the door and held the doorknob for a moment as he remembered how good it felt to be wrapped in Josh's arms. Shane wondered if Josh pushed away so suddenly because he felt his heartbeat increase or because he could tell that Shane had stopped breathing. Shane had held his breath in an attempt to keep from breathing too hard and as a way of making the moment seem longer than it was. The hug had ended sooner than Shane wanted and he didn't know how to ask Josh to keep holding him so he let go.

Shane wasn't sure what he felt for Josh. There was no denying that Josh was attractive. That was something Shane had noticed immediately, but there was something else. He liked talking to Rob and MaryEllen, but he liked talking to Josh more. Shane got in bed and thought about going to the beach with Josh. He wondered if Josh would wear a tiny speedo.

The next morning, Shane woke to the sound of knocking on the door. "It's open," he said.

Josh walked in. Shane sat up in the bed and quickly ran his fingers through his hair. Josh sat on the side of the bed. "You sure are a sound sleeper."

"I heard you knocking on the door," Shane said.

"Yeah, but you didn't hear the rooster or the boys. Everyone is downstairs in the kitchen eating breakfast and you're still up here."

"I must have overslept."

"You slept in yesterday as well. Is that usual for you?"

"No. Why do you ask? Is there something wrong with me sleeping past sunrise?"

"Don't get defensive. I don't know anything about you and I was wondering if its normal for you to sleep in late or if you're not feeling well."

"Oh. I'm feeling fine."

"Good. I'll be downstairs when you're ready." Josh moved to stand up, but Shane grabbed his arm.

"May I have a good morning hug?"

Josh cleared his throat. "Sure." Josh wrapped his arms around Shane. Shane squeezed him closer and tenderly kissed Josh's neck. Josh pulled back to get away from the embrace and Shane stole a quick peck on the lips. He knew it could blow up in his face but he had to do it. Josh froze for a second and caught himself staring at Shane's lips and thinking about the kiss. When his senses returned to him, Josh thought it would be best to act as if the kiss was nothing. "I'll be downstairs," he said.

Shane remembers how their first kiss happened so naturally. It was spontaneous, just like all the other best moments of their relationship. He takes out the book and reads the words again: TO THE BOY WHO MAKES THE SUN SHINE, FROM THE MAN WHO SOAKS UP THE RAYS- Love Josh. Shane knows he can read those words a million times and it won't bring Josh back to life, but he's been reading those words a lot since he lost Josh.

Shane shifts in his seat and rests his head against the window. He thinks about the uncomfortable ride to the beach after their first kiss. Josh was unable to come up with much to say to Shane. His mind was too preoccupied replaying the kiss that he should have never let happen. He was the adult and he had given Shane control for a few seconds but he refused to do that again. He decided to be stricter with Shane because he figured keeping Shane at an arm's length or more was the safest bet.

Shane was riding in the truck thinking about the kiss and plotting ways for them to kiss again. He failed to see anything wrong with what he could feel happening between them. He was attracted to Josh and he was confident that Josh was attracted to him too. The kiss had eliminated all of his doubts.

After thirty minutes of riding in silence, Shane asked, "Are things weird between us because we kissed?"

"We didn't kiss. Well we did kiss, but not that kind of kiss. You're a kid. I kissed you like I would kiss a child." Josh hoped that the words came out sounding true, but Shane's reaction didn't give away if he accepted the explanation or not.

Shane mulled over Josh's words. "I'm not a child, but let's say it was an innocent kiss. If the kiss was nothing, why are you acting strange?"

"I'm not acting strange. I'm thinking."

"About what? The meaningless kiss you shared with a child?"

Josh didn't answer. He found it easier to ignore the question and turn on the radio. Shane considered asking again, but he wanted his trip to the beach and he had decided that he wanted to share his first time at the beach with Josh so he didn't want to do anything to ruin his plans.

Josh stopped at a store to buy swim wear and sandals for both of them. They managed strained conversations as they tried on different outfits and modeled for each other. Josh was constantly reminding himself that he was not attracted to a sixteen year old boy. Shane was chastising himself for being foolish enough to believe something more would happen with Josh when it was clear that Josh was doing his best to build a wall between them. Josh and Shane changed in to their swim wear and sandals at a rest area. Shane wanted to just wear his swimming trunks, but Josh insisted they both put their regular clothes on over their trunks.

When they reached the beach, Shane stood in awe of the sand. He quickly lost his sandals and shed his clothes while he ran towards the water. Josh watched in amusement as Shane and his red swimming trunks jumped in the water and splashed around. Seeing Shane being a child affirmed Josh's belief that a relationship with Shane would be inappropriate.

Josh slipped off his sandals and walked to the shore. "Are you having fun?" he asked. The tide came in and covered Josh's feet and ankles.

Shane stopped splashing for a minute. "Yes!" he screamed. "This is the most fun I've had since fishing with you yesterday!" Shane stepped closer to Josh and the water began to go lower until it was only up to his calves.

"And when was the last time you had fun before that?" Josh questioned.

"I don't know. I was always worried about my mother so I didn't have time to really enjoy anything. I spent most of my life covering up for her."

"What was wrong with her?"

Shane frowned then took a few steps backwards and dropped in the water. He dunked his head beneath the surface. It was an immature way of telling Josh that the conversation was over. Shane emerged from the water and slicked his wet hair back with his hands. He looked at Josh, "Are you going to get in the water?"

"I will, after I find a spot to put down our towels and leave the cooler."

Shane looked at the scarcely populated beach. There were three other people besides them. There was no need to find a spot. All Josh needed to do was grab the towels and the cooler and drop them some where. Shane pointed to a place in middle of the sand. "How about there?"

Josh turned and looked. Seeing as how no one was even remotely near that particular spot, he said, "That looks fine. I'll go set up."

Shane watched as Josh walked towards the truck, picking up his shoes and Shane's discarded clothes along the way. Shane wasn't accustomed to having people do things for him so he had to help Josh. Josh tossed their sandals and Shane's clothes on the back of the truck and reached in the truck to grab the cooler and the towels and by the time he closed the door, Shane was standing next to him, dripping wet with a smile on his face.

"Do you need any help?" Shane asked.

"No thank you, I can manage."

"Shouldn't you take off your clothes and leave them here?"

"That's probably a good idea," Josh admitted. He sat the cooler down and took off his shirt. Shane stood still and watched. Josh reached to pull down his shorts, but he suddenly felt the need to be modest. He turned to the side and pulled his shorts down, revealing his black trunks.

"You know I already saw you when you tried those on." Josh smiled to himself because Shane was right. Josh wasn't hiding anything Shane hadn't already seen at the store and to make the situation more embarrassing, Shane was going to see him in his trunks no matter what, so it was ridiculous to turn to the side and try to shield himself from Shane's scrutinizing gaze. Shane grabbed Josh's arm. "You look so strong. Do you workout?" Shane asked.

Josh's eyes focused on Shane's hand on his arm. The contact was making him question if he would be able to maintain an appropriate relationship with Shane. He pulled his arm away. "You try working on the farm from sun up to sun down and you'll have muscles, too," Josh said.

Josh picked up the cooler and walked towards the beach. Shane took a moment to soak up the way Josh's back and butt looked. He was tempted to run to Josh and grab his ass, but he wasn't sure how Josh would react, so he settled for walking two steps behind Josh and watching his butt move.

Shane hadn't needed to pursue sex with someone before. The guys, both young and old, had always drifted to him. Age wasn't an issue with any of Shane's previous lovers, but Josh seemed to view age as the most important issue. Josh bent to drop the cooler and Shane placed his hand on the small of Josh's back. He could have easily lowered his hand and touched Josh but he knew Josh couldn't handle that. Josh instantly tensed up. He couldn't tell if Shane was aware of the effect his touch had on him or if Shane's touches were merely innocent actions that his adult mind was contorting to meet his own illicit fantasies.

Josh stood up straight and stepped to the side in an attempt to get away from Shane's hand, but Shane moved with him. "Is something wrong?" Shane asked.

"No."

"You feel tense. Do you want me to give you a massage?"

"No thank you." Josh started running towards the water. "Last one in is a rotten egg!" he shouted.

Josh was about to reach the water when Shane went flying by him. Shane swam out a few feet then turned to see what Josh was doing. Josh was right next to him. "I'll race you to the buoy," Shane said.

"Okay."

"1, 2, 3, go!" Shane said. He took off as fast as he could and reached the buoy before Josh. Josh arrived and held on to the buoy breathing heavily. "What do I get for winning?" Shane asked.

"You're fast!" Josh said.

"Oh, did I forget to mention I was on the swim team at my local rec and we trained every morning?"

"If you had told me that, I never would have raced you!"

"I know, that's why I didn't tell you. Now what do I get for winning?"

Josh looked at Shane in disbelief. Shane looked amazing as he gave Josh a self satisfied smile. "I'll buy you lunch."

"You have lunch in the cooler, so that doesn't work. I want something else."

"Like what?"

"Would you let me stay with you for a while?"

"I don't think that's a good idea. I don't have any kids for you to play with."

"I can walk next door if I want to play with someone closer to my age. Rob and MaryEllen are nice, but they have too many people living with them. I'm used to being on my own most of the time. I know I won't be happy at their house."

"I'll think about it."

"Isn't the purpose of this trip to get me to stay longer?"

"Yes."

"Well I'm offering to stay for a really long time, but only if you let me stay with you."

"Why do you want to stay with me?"

"Because I would prefer to live with one other person and because I like you."

"I'll talk it over with Rob and MaryEllen. If they think it's okay, then I guess it's fine with me."

Shane closed the distance between them and put his arms around Josh. "Thank you."

Josh pushed him away. "I haven't said yes."

"But you will."

"We'll see. Now let's swim back to shore." Josh began swimming towards the beach. He knew it was a bad idea for Shane to move in with him, especially given his attraction to the boy, but he had a feeling Rob and MaryEllen would support Shane staying with him. Rob and MaryEllen wanted to make sure Shane was safe and they knew he would be if he was right next door. Shane and Josh took the towels off the cooler and spread them out on the sand. "We can't stay out here too long," Josh warned.

"Why not?"

"I forgot to buy sunscreen."

"We'll be fine."

"If I'm going to help take care of you for a while, I need to look out for your best interests and burning in the sun is definitely not on the list."

Shane saw a woman squeezing sunscreen lotion in her hand. "I'll be right back," he said. Shane returned with the woman by his side. Josh stood to be polite. "She didn't have enough lotion left for me. I told her that meant I had to leave soon and that this was my first time at the beach and she said I should document it. She has a Polaroid camera so I asked her to take a picture of me and my step-father." He turned to the lady. "This is Josh, my stepfather. Josh, this is Mrs. Sinclair. She's here enjoying the sun."

Josh held out his hand. "Nice to meet you ma'am."

"Nice to meet you too, sir. Now why don't you two move so that you're standing in front of the lake." Shane and Josh moved around the lady and posed in front of the water. "Come on you two, get a little closer." Shane put his arm around Josh's waist and Josh put his arm around Shane's shoulder. "That's better," she said. "Say cheese."

"Cheese!" Shane shouted. Josh simply smiled for the picture. The lady took the picture and handed the photograph to Shane. "I'm sorry I ran out of lotion. You know there's a store about a mile away. They always have sunscreen."

"Thanks."

She looked at Josh, "It was nice meeting you and your step- son."

"Nice meeting you as well, ma'am."

She smiled then walked back to her blanket on the beach. Shane sat on his towel and reached for the cooler. "We should eat lunch before we leave."

"Okay." Josh sat on his towel. Josh watched as Shane used one hand to open the cooler and take out two bottles of tea and the tupperware container with their sandwiches in it. "You can sit the picture down while you do that," Josh teased.

"I want to see how it develops." Shane stared at the picture as it slowly began to take shape. "We look good together," he said then he turned to Josh and held the picture up for him to see. "We both look happy."

Josh took the picture and stared at it for a long minute. "Yeah, we do," he admitted. Shane wasn't sure if Josh was admitting that they looked good together or that they both looked happy. Josh wasn't sure which one he meant either. He handed the picture back to Shane. "Let's eat."

Josh and Shane ate turkey sandwiches and Josh explained what would be expected of Shane if he stayed. Josh told Shane he would have to go to school, but Shane asked if he could take his GED instead. Josh agreed they'd talk about it later, but he warned Shane that Rob and MaryEllen would probably insist he enroll in the local high school so he could make some friends.

Shane turned the conversation to Josh and his childhood. Josh went in to great detail explaining that he had been a happy child until his mother married Mr. Lee. He skimmed over the details of life with Mr. Lee and his time on the run with Rob, then he talked about hitching a ride with an elderly man headed to Rustic and ending up settling there permanently. He described how the man and his wife had convinced the boys to stay and how wonderful they had been.

"What happened to them?" Shane asked.

"Old age. They both died eight years ago. Bob went in April and Alice went in May." Josh turned to look at Shane and ended up looking directly in to Shane's eyes. He quickly looked away. "I guess she couldn't bear to live without him."

"They sound like great people."

"They were. I think they saved our lives." Josh cleared his throat and stood. "It's time to go now."

Shane carried the towels and the photograph. Josh carried the cooler. They put the things in the truck and Shane asked, "Where are we going to change?"

"Our trunks are almost dry. I say we put the cooler on the back, throw our clothes and sandals on the inside and put the towels on the seats and head home."

"Riding in your trunks isn't going to bother you?"

"No. I've been in them half the day."

Shane wasn't going to keep asking questions and accidentally force Josh to change his mind. Shane liked the idea of riding back with their shirts off because he knew he could sneak peeks at Josh's body. Josh was in a hurry and not thinking straight or he would have realized that a half naked Shane sitting on the other side of the truck might cause him to look away from the road a few times more than usual.

They had been on the road for five minutes when Josh realized he was looking over at Shane too much. That made Josh uncomfortable and he spent the rest of the drive forcing himself to only look in Shane's direction when he was checking the mirror. Shane and Josh talked about farming for a while, then Shane turned the discussion to moving in with Josh. Josh kept reminding Shane that he needed to speak with Rob and MaryEllen before any final decisions could be made.

"Would you really turn me away if Rob and MaryEllen said it wasn't a good idea?"

"I'm not sure. I value Rob's opinion a lot. He's always pointed me in the right direction."

"You make it sound like he's a lot older than you. He's only two years older."

"How do you know that?"

"Because when Rob was fourteen, you were twelve."

"Oh, he told you part of the runaway story?"

"Yeah."

Shane hears the snoring of the biker next to him. He laughs to himself because he had pegged the guy for a snorer and that makes him think of Josh. Josh used to snore lightly when he slept on his back. Shane remembers waking Josh up and telling him to turn on his side. Josh would always turn on his side and wrap his arm around Shane. Shane closes his eyes so he can think about Josh some more.

Rob and MaryEllen were all for Shane staying with Josh. They gave Shane some of Mike's old clothes and helped him get situated at school. Shane was surprised he didn't need his old records. The school gave him a few tests and put him in class. Over the next few weeks, his days quickly became filled with activities. He and Josh began every day by having breakfast with Rob and his family. During the week, Shane went to school and then came home and did homework or studied until Josh came home from Hattie's farm. They ate dinner with Rob and his family virtually everyday. Saturdays, Shane, Rob and Josh went fishing.

Josh and Shane had tiptoed around what was happening between for over a month when things came to a head one rainy Sunday. Shane and Josh were sitting on the sofa in Josh's home talking. Shane leaned his head on Josh's shoulder as he often did.

There was something that had been bothering Shane, "Why don't you ever go to church?" he asked out of the blue.

"God and I parted ways a long time ago," Josh said.

"Why?"

"There are a lot of reasons. Mostly because of Mr. Lee. He stole God away from me."

Shane kicked his feet up and moved so that his head was in Josh's lap and he was looking up at Josh. "How come Rob still believes?"

"I guess his faith is stronger than mine."

"My mother and I never talked about God, and we never went to church, but I know he exists." Shane stared in Josh's eyes. "Do you want to know how I know?"

"Yeah."

"Because I could have ended up anywhere and I ended up here with you."

Josh cleared his throat and looked away. "Maybe you should sit up." Shane put his hands on the arm of the sofa and pulled himself backwards until his butt was in Josh's lap, then he sat up. His face was really close to Josh's face. "What are you doing?" Josh asked.

"I see the way you look at me. You like me and most of the time when you look at me, you don't look at me like I'm a kid and you don't talk to me like I'm a kid. You look at me like you want me, like I'm an attractive man."

Josh took a deep breath. "You know Rob said you need to spend more time with the boys. You stay in the house too much. I'm almost the only person you talk to."

"You're the only person I want to talk to."

"That's the problem. If you were more social with people your own age, I'm sure you'd find a boy you liked."

Shane repositioned himself so he was straddling Josh. "I'm old enough to consent to sex in this state, so why don't you want to be with me? You wouldn't be my first, or the oldest guy I've been with, but you would be the first one that mattered. I really want to be with you like that." He gazed in to Josh's eyes then whispered, "Just be with me. Please."

Shane leaned in tentatively and used his lips to connect their bodies. Shane stuck out his tongue and pushed against Josh's lips, which promptly parted and gave Shane an entrance. Josh allowed himself to be lost in the moment. He returned Shane's kiss with unrestrained passion. All the nights of wishing he could walk in to Shane's room and be with him became like memories of a distant past. Josh pulled Shane as close as they could physically be with their clothes still on and he attacked Shane's mouth until his conscience finally caught up with his body and forced him to stop.

Josh practically picked Shane up and sat him on the sofa. "I can't do this," he said then he left and went to his room and slammed the door. He wasn't angry with Shane, he was angry with himself for allowing things to go further than they should have and disappointed that he didn't stop Shane when it became apparent where Shane was headed.

Shane sat on the sofa and licked his lips trying to find the taste of Josh but there was nothing left but the memory of how intensely Josh had kissed him and how complete it made him feel. When licking his lips failed to make the memory seem real, he opened his mouth, slightly stuck out his tongue and used a combination of his index finger and his middle finger to gently caress his lips then he let his index finger graze his tongue before he slipped his finger in his mouth and sucked on it for a minute then he grudgingly conceded that a finger was not a good enough substitute for the real thing. He wanted Josh more than he had ever wanted any man, but he couldn't wait forever to have sex again and he didn't know what he would do if Josh kept rejecting him.

After a while, Shane got up and went to his room so he could get himself off while he fantasized about a happier ending to the kiss on the sofa. Behind his locked door, Josh was doing the same thing. He imagined what would have happened if things had gone further on the sofa and he allowed himself to indulge in thoughts about Shane's naked body laying beneath him.

The next morning Josh was wrought with guilt from kissing Shane and from spending a good part of the night having thoughts about Shane that he shouldn't have been having. Josh was supposed to be a father figure to Shane, which meant he couldn't be with him in a sexual way. He tried to think of possibilities but every one ended with him having a weak moment and giving in to Shane. Josh decided that he and Shane couldn't live together. It had been hard to be near Shane before they shared that amazing kiss and he knew the kiss had only made it harder because he wouldn't be able to look at Shane and not imagine their lips locked together.

Josh rushed to get ready and sat in the livingroom. Shane came down a few minutes later with his backpack in tow. Shane behaved normally like nothing had changed, but Josh couldn't play along. Josh asked Shane to have a seat. "We need to talk," he said. Shane sat next to Josh and Josh stood and moved to another chair. "After breakfast, I'm going to talk to Rob about you moving in with them."

"What?"

"You staying here isn't working out. We've developed this thing between us that has no right to exist."

"It does have a right to exist or else it wouldn't. There's nothing wrong with us wanting to be together. I don't get why you're treating this like a big deal."

"Because it is a big deal. I'm 32 and you're 16! You're half my age!"

"I'm old enough!"

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you! What kind of person would I be if I took advantage of you?"

"You're not taking advantage of me! I want to be with you! I'm old enough to decide what I want!" Shane stood and started taking off his clothes.

Josh averted his eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I want you to look at me."

"I don't want to look at you naked." Shane finished taking off his clothes then walked over to Josh. Josh stood. "This is why we can't live together."

Shane tried to hug Josh, but Josh pushed him away. "I'm offering myself to you! What do you want me to do, put a bow on and tell you I'm your early Christmas present or something? You like me and I like you. It's that simple. Fuck everybody else and what they think!"

Josh grabbed Shane and shook him. "I'm trying to do the right thing here! Why won't you let me?"

"Because I love you!"

Josh released Shane and stood there looking at him for a minute as he decided what to do. "Put on your clothes so we can go to breakfast. We'll discuss this later."

Josh and Shane went to breakfast at Rob's house. Rob and MaryEllen could sense the tension between Josh and Shane because there was something off in how they related to each other. Rob pulled Josh aside and asked him what was wrong. Josh said he and Shane had an argument but he was going to deal with it when Shane got back from school.

"Can Shane stay with you and MaryEllen for a while?" Josh whispered.

"Are things between you two that bad? You always seemed to be getting along fine before today."

"We were. I just think we need a little space to cool down."

"You know it's okay with me. The more the merrier, right?"

Shane spent the school day distracted by memories of his kiss with Josh and hurt by Josh's most recent rejection of him. Josh spent the day on the farm, taking out his frustration on inanimate objects and grappling with the horrifying truth that all he wanted to do was kiss Shane again.

Josh left work early so he could be home when Shane arrived. Shane walked in an hour later and flung his bag across the livingroom. Josh walked in from the kitchen. "You know better than to throw things in the house," he warned.

Shane sat down on the sofa and sighed. "I knew you were home. I saw your truck, so when do I move?"

Josh sat next to Shane. "Rob and MaryEllen will let you move in whenever you want to, but I've been thinking about it all day and I thought I made a decision, but then I came home and I remembered how it felt before you were here, when I used to come home to an empty house, and I didn't like that feeling too much. I wanted you to be here." He grabs Shane's hand and gives it a soft squeeze. "If we're going to do this, and by this, I mean us, it has to stay between us. You can't tell anyone."

Shane looked at Josh, "I won't tell. I promise." He took his hand away. "Now can I kiss you?"

"I guess."

Shane lunged at Josh and assaulted his lips with kisses. "You won't be sorry," Shane said. Shane reached for Josh's zipper and Josh swatted his hand away.

"We don't have to do anything but kiss."

"Yes we do. I need to be with you." Shane kissed him, "We've waited long enough."

Josh wanted to argue the point, but he wanted to be with Shane more than he wanted to win an argument so he let Shane's hand slip inside his pants. Josh knew Shane wasn't going to stop and neither was he. "Let's go to my room." Josh and Shane raced up to Josh's room. Shane jumped on the bed and laid on his back. Josh laid on top of him and kissed him. "I've been thinking about this all day."

"Me too." The kissing stretched out across the minutes as Josh and Shane pulled off their clothes while trying to keep their lips touching. Soon they were naked and rubbing against each other. Shane wanted more. He grabbed one of Josh's hands and sucked on his fingers for a couple of seconds, then guided Josh's hand to his hole. "Why don't you touch me down there," he suggested. It wasn't long before Josh was finger fucking Shane with three fingers. Shane kept breaking their kiss because he needed to moan. The sound of Shane's moans were turning Josh on. Josh's 8 inch cock was as hard as it was capable of being. "Your fingers feel good, but I think I'm ready for the real thing."

Josh reached in his top drawer and grabbed a condom and some lube. "Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Josh put the condom on and then put lube on two of his fingers and stuck them inside Shane and twisted them around a little. Josh withdrew his fingers and put some more lube on Shane's hole then he lined up and started pushing against Shane's hole. He finally broke past the ring and was able to slowly feed Shane more and more cock until he was all the way inside him.

Josh pulled out and pushed back in, which elicited an extremely loud shout from Shane. Shane was making a lot of odd noises as he screamed and moaned. Josh was so turned on by the moans that he pounded away at Shane's ass like a jackhammer. Josh pumped even harder and Shane continued to get louder until he said, "Oh shit, I'm cumming."

"Cum for me," Josh urged as he began a frantic pace. Josh literally fucked the cum out of Shane. Shane came hard, his body tensed and his eyes rolled back in his head for a second. He shot cum all over himself then he got glassy eyed.

Josh realized he was close. "I'm almost there," he warned.

"Take the condom off and cum on me," Shane ordered.

Josh pulled out of Shane and ripped the condom off. His hand was a blur as it jerked his dick and pushed him towards the edge. "Where do you want it?" he asked.

"Wherever you put it, but make sure I get to taste some of it." Josh scooted up the bed some then went back to furiously jerking until he began to shoot. He aimed for Shane's face. The first shot landed on Shane's nose, the next one landed near Shane's mouth and the last one landed inside Shane's open mouth. Shane closed his mouth and licked the cum off his lips, then swallowed. He put his finger to his nose and rescued the cum from there. He stuck his finger in his mouth and licked it clean.

"Damn!" Josh shouted as he collapsed on his side. "That was some good shit!"

"Thanks." Shane wanted to tell Josh he was the best he'd ever had but he thought that might sound phony. "I'm going to go shower and get cleaned up for dinner." Shane was almost standing when Josh pulled him back on the bed. "Wait. Let me hold you for a few minutes." They settled in to a spooning position with Josh spooning Shane. They laid that way for around four minutes then Shane said, "This feels nice."

"It does." They both drifted off to sleep and were awaken by the phone ringing. Josh answered, "Hello."

"What are you two doing? Do I need to send one of the kids over there to get you? Dinner is almost ready."

"MaryEllen we'll be there in a couple of minutes."

Shane had cum that had dried on his skin and Josh told him to take a quick shower. Shane jumped in the shower and was out in about two seconds. They walked over to eat dinner with huge grins on their faces. Rob and MaryEllen were happy that Shane and Josh had worked things out.

Shane wakes from a quick nap and looks at his watch. There is still a lot of time left on the trip. He closes his eyes and thinks about his first ride on a bus. He had to go away so he could find himself.

Shane wouldn't tell anyone when his birthday was so they decided to celebrate his seventeenth birthday on the one year anniversary of the day he came to town. Josh, MaryEllen and Rob showered him with presents, especially new clothes that were all his. After MaryEllen, Rob and the children left Josh's house, Josh handed Shane a small book. "I had this made for you," he said. Shane flips through the pages and sees photographs of them together and looking happy. "Read the dedication."

Shane turned to the beginning and read the dedication: TO THE BOY WHO MAKES THE SUN SHINE, FROM THE MAN WHO SOAKS UP THE RAYS- Love Josh. Shane put his arms around Josh and turned his head up to wait for a kiss. Josh leaned down and gave Shane a very passionate kiss.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Rob asked.

Josh and Shane looked over to see Rob standing in the doorway. "What are you doing here?" Josh said.

"I forgot to give Shane the present Mike sent over for him, I wasn't trying to catch the two of you. Honestly, I can't believe my eyes just saw what I think they saw."

"What do you think you saw?" Josh asked.

"The two of you were kissing."

"Well then your eyes are fine."

"Why? How? How could you do this?"

"It just happened."

"You're an adult for crying out loud. Kissing a teenage boy is not something that just happens. You're not supposed to let it happen."

"I tried to fight it."

"And what, you couldn't resist? That's bullshit! You're a grown man. You know how to say no." Rob's eyes moved to Shane then back to Josh. "Shane can't stay here anymore, not now that you've proven you can't keep your hands to yourself. Is that why you wanted him here? Were you plotting how to manipulate him in to having a relationship with you?"

"No. It was nothing like that."

"How can I believe you? Do you remember when you were twenty and I caught you fooling around with Randy McClintock in Hattie's barn? You said it was a one time thing. You told me you weren't queer. You wanted a wife and kids. Do you remember that?"

"Yes."

"At least Randy was over eighteen! Look at you! Fooling around with a boy! Exactly how far have you gone with him?"

"That's none of your business."

"It is my business! I brought him here so he would be safe and now I find out that my own brother is abusing him. I need to know how much damage you've done! Now tell me how far this thing has gone!"

Shane finally waded through the shock long enough to find his voice. "He didn't damage me. I'm not the innocent little boy you seem to think I am. I went after him and now we're in love. I don't care what you or anyone else says. We're going to be together!"

"The two of you won't be together on my property!"

"Fine!" Josh shouted. "We won't live on your property!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'm tired of you treating me like I'm your child. You're not my father! You never have been! I love Shane. He's the first person I felt this way about since Randy and I refuse to give him up just because my relationship with him offends you! I know he's young. I did my best not to fall for him but sometimes you can't help who you love. If you don't want us to be together here, then we'll leave."

"Where will you go?"

"Bob left you this land and he left me that land over in Grove."

"You said you weren't going to move there until you had a family of your own."

Josh put his arm around Shane. "I do have a family now."

Rob tossed the present in the closest chair then angrily waved his hands. "You know what? Go! It's probably for the best anyway!"

"Hey Rob wait!" Josh yelled.

"What?" Rob screamed as he turned around.

"For the record, Randy and I were together until three years ago when he up and got married. Besides Shane, Randy is the only other thing I've ever lied to you about."

"I don't care," Rob said.

"We'll be gone by morning!" Josh shouted before the door slammed behind Rob. Josh looked at Shane and saw that he was crying. He wrapped his arms around him and softly whispered, "It's okay."

"I'm sorry," Shane cried.

"Sorry for what? You didn't do anything."

"I'm sorry for causing this to happen."

"You didn't cause anything. I was going to have to separate from Rob eventually. It's fine. We'll be fine."

Josh told Shane to go pack his things and he went to his room to pack. There was a knock on the door about an hour later. Josh thought Rob had calmed down. He walked downstairs and opened the door. MaryEllen walked in. "I only know a little about what happened between you, Rob and Shane, but that's no reason for you to leave. We're a family. Just give Rob some time to relax and remember how much he loves you. I'm sure he'll come around. It just caught him by surprise is all."

"You don't think there's anything wrong with my relationship with Shane?"

"Josh, I saw it coming a mile away. If your brother paid more attention to you he would have seen it too." She sat down on the sofa. "Don't leave because of this. We'll work this out."

"I've been thinking about leaving for a while and tonight just proved that it's time. I can't live on Rob's land forever."

"Rob doesn't mind and it's not like you're mooching off of him. You help out a lot and you know he loves your company."

"MaryEllen I'm ready to move on. I know things will settle down, but I don't want to wait around until they do. You act as if I'm going to be gone for good. I'm just moving to the next county."

"Why go when you don't have to?"

"I want to, that's why."

"You had already made up your mind hadn't you? You were just waiting for the right excuse." Josh half smiled. "Will you at least stop by for breakfast in the morning?"

"I was planning on leaving tonight."

"Nonsense. That house will be pitch black by the time you get there tonight. You can leave in the morning after dawn." She stood. "I'll see you for breakfast." Josh was no stranger to being steamrolled by MaryEllen. He nodded his head in defeat.

The next morning, Josh and Shane were both slow about getting out of bed. Josh kissed the top of Shane's head, "Come on, we have to go face them."

Shane kissed Josh's chest. "Can't we just hide out in bed until you're ready to go to Grove?"

"Do you want MaryEllen to knock the door down?"

Shane smirked. "No. I'll start getting ready."

Shane and Josh walked in to Rob's kitchen hand in hand. MaryEllen put her hand on Rob's shoulder to remind him to keep his mouth shut. Rob sipped his coffee and stayed quiet throughout breakfast. Josh finished his breakfast and said, "Well I guess we bests be going now." Josh looked at Rob to gauge his reaction. Rob was staring at Josh like there was so much he wanted to say but couldn't. Josh smiled at his brother and stood at the table. Rob didn't say a word as Josh and Shane left.

Josh and Shane built a life for themselves in Grove. Shane finished high school and enrolled in the local college and Josh still worked on Hattie's farm. The only thing that hadn't changed was the strain on Josh and Rob's relationship. They talked, but they were never the same. Rob saw Josh's relationship with Shane as a betrayal of his trust. He had given his blessing to Josh taking care of Shane only to have the situation turn in to something it shouldn't have been. Josh crossed the line and Rob couldn't forgive him for that.

In his last year of college, his life began to take a turn for the worse. Josh became sick and Shane took him to the hospital. The doctors thought it was the flu at first, but Josh started coughing up blood so they ran a few tests and did some x- rays. The doctors told Josh a few masses had shown up on th x- rays and they might be cancerous. It turned out they were. Cancer cells had spread throughout Josh's body and the doctor's told him there was nothing they could do and he had less than six months to live.

When Josh and Shane got home, they curled up in bed and cried together. After the tears dried up, Shane started talking. "My real name isn't Shane Sutton, its Shane Spiers. The social security number I use, I stole from the truck driver who dropped me off in Rustic. My real birthday is September 7th, not September 19th. My mother died on my birthday. It was my fault. She was always forgetting things. A lot of times she forgot who she was, but she remembered that day. I went to the store to get her favorite food because I wanted to fix it for her. I didn't check to make sure everything dangerous was put away and when I got close to home, I saw that our house was on fire. The firefighters wouldn't let me go in so I had to wait and watch as they came out with her body hidden beneath a sheet on a stretcher. She died from smoke inhalation. She had placed all the matches on the couch and lit them. She probably thought the couch was a cake. They found her sitting in her favorite chair. She was less than five feet from the door. If I had been there, she would still be alive."

"It's not your fault," Josh said.

"It is my fault. I just wanted you to know the truth about me. We've been together for five years and you didn't even know my real name. Now I'm going to lose you and all I can think about are the things I've been too afraid to tell you."

"I'm not dying tomorrow. I promise we'll have time to fix things. I've been trying to track down your family for years. No wonder I never found them. I had the wrong information."

"Why were you trying to track them down?"

"Because I knew they had to be looking for you and wondering what happened to you. You're too wonderful not to be missed."

"They live in Montana, but I can't go back."

"You can always go back." Josh kissed Shane. "I love you."

"I love you too," Shane whispered.

Six months later, Josh was still kicking. He asked Shane to take him to the beach to celebrate. "But I don't want to go to the usual beach," he said, "I want to see the ocean before I die. Take me to the coast."

"That's too far of a drive for you."

"I'm fine. I can make it." Shane couldn't turn down the request of a dying man, so he agreed. He drove Josh to the ocean. Josh was quiet for most of the trip. Shane had to help Josh take off his shoes so he could walk on the beach. "I need to sit," Josh said. Shane opened up the beach chair he brought so Josh could sit comfortably. Shane placed a towel on the sand and he sat on it. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Shane looked out at the ocean. "Yeah, it is. It's the most beautiful beach I've ever seen."

"I hoped it would be. I wanted this to be special for you." Josh cleared his throat. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Okay."

"You know I've getting my affairs in order and I've been seeing a lawyer."

"Yeah, I know."

"Well, I wasn't only seeing him about my affairs. I had him hire someone to find your family and he found them. They've been looking for you ever since you left and they want you to come home."

"Did you tell them where I was?"

"No, I haven't spoken to them. The private investigator tracked them down. He told them he had a friend who thought they knew where you were, but he needed to know more about you. They showed him pictures of you and told him all about how you walked out your grandmother's house after your mother's funeral and never came back. You should go see them. If you don't want to go by yourself, I'll go with you."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Family means everything, especially a loving family and they love you. I know you had your reasons for running away, but it's not fair to them to stay gone forever. You didn't kill your mother. From what you've told me, you helped her a lot, but you weren't equipped to deal with her problem. I still don't know how her family didn't notice."

"They thought she was an air head so they overlooked her mental mistakes, and I made sure we didn't spend much time with them, unless she was being herself."

"You were a good son." Josh put his hand on Shane's head. "I can tell by the way that you take care of me that you must have taken good care of your mother and now you've grown in to such a handsome man, let your family get a look at who you've become."

"Maybe I'll go after I graduate."

"Okay."

Shane didn't want to see his family, but if it was important to Josh then he would do it. They spent an hour at the beach and then went back home. Shane had two months of college left, so he and Josh made arrangements to fly to Montana and see his family. Josh didn't live long enough to take the trip. He died two days after Shane graduated.

Shane couldn't deal with losing the man he loved, so he ran away and left Rob and MaryEllen to deal with everything. Shane decided he wasn't going to say goodbye to Josh because he didn't want to admit that Josh was gone and he didn't want to be there as a reminder of why Rob and Josh had lost the core of their relationship. He thought he owed Rob and MaryEllen the right to grieve alone.

Shane made the drive to the coast and spent the summer being a beach bum. He went to the beach everyday, rain or shine and stared at the ocean. Towards the end of the summer, there was a warning of a hurricane and no one was allowed on the beach. Shane found himself driving back to the house he had shared with Josh in Grove. He sat on the steps, but couldn't bring himself to go in. He slept on the porch and woke up the next morning and drove directly to the bus station.

Shane gets off the bus in Mucksville, Montana and grabs his bag. He walks the short distance from the bus stop to his grandmother's old house and he knocks on the door. His grandmother opens the door. She looks older and smaller than he remembers. She smiles at him. "Shane," she says as she opens her arms.

Shane falls in to her arms and cries. "It's me Grandma."

They embrace for five minutes before his grandmother pulls back and holds his hand. He grabs his bag and walks in the house. "I always knew you'd come back," she says. His grandmother makes a big fuss about him and peppers him with questions about where he's been while she fixes lunch for him. She stares at him while he eats then comments, "You still look the same, I mean you're taller and a little bigger, but you still look the same although there's something different about you. You look so tired. You've been through a lot, haven't you baby?"

"My boyfriend died in May," he states. His sexuality was never a question in his family, everyone just kind of knew.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry." She walks around to him and hugs him from behind. "Is that why you've come back?"

"Yes. It meant a lot to him that I come back here and face what happened." Shane grabs her hand. "Grandma, there's something I need to tell you."

Shane tells her how life was with his mother and how the fire started that day. "Lily was always forgetful, I didn't know it was more than that. I'm sorry I didn't see what was going on with her, but it wasn't your fault. Her death was an accident. Now let's talk about something else." She returned to her seat. "How long are you staying?"

"I haven't decided."

"Okay. You can stay with me as long as you need to."

Shane takes out his wallet and hands her the polaroid of him and Josh at the beach. "That's my Josh," he says.

His grandmother looks at the picture. "He sure was cute. Looks quite a bit older than you though."

"He was sixteen years older than me."

His grandmother smiles. "Your grandfather was twenty years older than me." She hands the picture back to him. "I'm happy you're home," she whispers.

Shane spends the next few days reconnecting with his old family. He goes to visit the rec center where he used to swim and he sees his old coach, Mr. Magnuson. Mr. Magnuson was the first older guy Shane had sex with. Shane was fourteen at the time. Mr. Magnuson is happy to see Shane. He hugs him and kisses him on his cheek then asks him how long he's going to be in town.

"I don't know," Shane says.

"Well if you stay, you could come here and work for me as an assistant coach. It looks like you're still in great shape."

"I was on the swim team in college."

"Couldn't stay away from the water, huh?"

"No, I guess I couldn't." Shane tells him he'll think about the position if he stays then Shane returns to his grandmother's house. Rob is the first person he sees when he walks in, then he sees MaryEllen. "What are you doing here?" he asks.

"We told your grandmother if you ever got in contact with her to give us a call," Rob said.

"Why?"

"Because you're as much our family now, as you are hers. You can't just run away from us. Plus we have some unfinished business." Rob hands Shane a large envelope.

"What is this?" Shane asks.

"Its what you left behind." Shane opens the envelope and takes out a stack of papers. "Josh left everything to you," Rob says before Shane can read the paperwork. "You have to sign everything and send it back, then you'll get the insurance money and the house you shared will be officially yours."

"What am I supposed to do with the house?"

"That's up to you. It's yours."

"I can't stay there."

"You can sell it if you want. You don't have to decide anything right now. I just wanted to give you what was rightfully yours. I may have had my problems with you and Josh but I never doubted how much you loved each other. He wanted you to have everything and you deserve it."

Shane has a sudden thought. "How'd you find me?"

"Josh's attorney had all the information about who you really were and he had your grandmother's phone number. We had to do everything we could to find you."

Shane's grandmother invites Rob and MaryEllen to stay for dinner. Shane has a good time talking with them and sharing memories of funny things Josh had done. When Rob and MaryEllen prepare to leave to go to their hotel, Shane tells them he doesn't think he will be coming back to the south anytime soon.

MaryEllen hugs him and say, "You don't have to come to stay, but you better come visit because you're family now, whether you like it or not."

"Yes ma'am," he replies as he hugs her.

That night, Shane is in his room, looking at the polaroid of him and Josh at the beach that day so many years before. He kisses the picture then tucks it in the small book Josh had given him. He falls asleep wondering where life will lead him and just as he's falling asleep, he thinks about the dedication:

TO THE BOY WHO MAKES THE SUN SHINE, FROM THE MAN WHO SOAKS UP THE RAYS - Love Josh

and he thinks about the photograph of them at the beach. Those are two of his most cherished possessions. He closes his eyes and has a pleasant dream about their first day at the beach. He and Josh are always together in his dreams.

Copyright Lustyville 2008 Please send comments to lustyville@yahoo.com and check out my other stories at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/lustyville and my website at www.lustyville.com