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Chapter 6: Going deeper
What followed was two or three days of miserable weather; it poured rain on and off and it put a dampener on my plans to get out and enjoy the city. On Tuesday I had planned to go to some museums but the showers were so heavy every time I left the apartment I found myself running back inside soaking wet after only a few minutes. To pass the time, I was spending ever more time on Grindr. A few guys enquired about the gloryhole, but I think the weather put anyone off moving around the neighbourhood and I couldn't blame them. I chatted online, talking dirty to local guys and edging myself for hours throughout the afternoon.
Finally after dinner the showers seemed to have passed, and when night fell I had worked myself up so much I grabbed a jacket, my trusty pouch with the poppers and lube, and headed out to the woods. It was cold and miserable, but I couldn't shake the hunger that had been growing inside me all afternoon to suck some cock and swallow a hot cumload. I traipsed around the park and headed further into the woods, taking the dirt paths into the bushes hoping to meet someone. The ground was muddy and soggy, and on more than one occasion I almost slipped. Then it started raining again; I quickly took shelter under a tree and looked around. "Has it come to this?" I thought to myself, feeling ashamed that my newly urgent thirst for cock had driven me out in this weather. "I'll have to head back," I decided.
I started back towards the path just as the heavens really opened. Not far away I saw a cabin and noticed a man was sheltering below the overhanging roof, smoking a cigarette. I ran under and stood a little distance away from him - hoping the rain would pass fairly soon. I smelled it right away - the fragrant but strong smell of weed. I turned to see a dark-skinned man, in his early fifties, smoking what I now knew was a spliff. He had a hat on and a big, oversized coat and jeans. I was trying to work out what his body was like underneath his clothes when he turned and held out the spliff towards me at arms-length. It had been a while since I smoked and I never had been a big weed smoker, so after only two tokes I handed it back to him, holding my breath and enjoying the strong hit that took me quite by surprise. I attempted to make some small talk, but I could sense that the guy was high and I pretty quickly joined him. We passed the spliff between us a few more times until he threw it to the ground. I learnt that his name was Tom, or Tommy, and he was holding out for the rain to stop too.
I stood beside him super high, and wondered how I could work out if he was there for the same reason as me. All of a sudden, out of nowhere I blurted out, "You got a big dick, man?", he laughed and we laughed together for a moment. "Yeah, man," he replied and we stood a little longer watching out at the rain in silent contemplation. As the rain slowly eased off I knew I was really stoned, higher than I had been for a long time and I wasn't at all able to take lead of the situation. I was watching Tommy patiently as he seemed to be packing the few things he had with him into his pockets. "Let's go!" he said turning to me and gesturing off further down the path into the woods. He started walking slowly and I followed almost on auto-pilot as he led us down the path and into some bushes enclosed by wide fencing.
As I walked, I felt a little nervous that I had smoked too much too soon and couldn't shake my head out of the daze I was feeling, but another part of me was fixated on him and an image in my mind like a film formed of me knelt in front of him sucking his cock. When he reached alongside the fencing, he waited for me patiently and without any verbal communication between us I assumed my position kneeling before him. He slowly unbuttoned his belt and, pulling down his underwear, revealed a beautiful, large cock. I felt a grin forming on my face as I leant forward and put my cheek up against his warm crotch. Like one of the guys from a previous blowjob, he smelled clean like he had prepared to come here for that purpose and I appreciated it. The familiar feeling washed over me and the thought came again that we were each here for our divine reasons; his to offer his ample manhood and relieve the strain from his heavy balls, and mine to fulfil my duty to these men in the woods. To offer my mouth as a fuckhole for men in need. The weed only intensified my feelings.
His cock was now firm in my hands and it comfortably measured 8 inches, thankfully with a wide girth to match its length. I took him into my mouth and gently sucked him back and forth. His hands guided me into a rhythm that suited us both and once locked in place - I continued sucking him in my daydream state for a long time. The images in my head were intensified, and I kept running over and over the thoughts of each of the men I have sucked off over the past week. Each one had come either into my mouth or directly down my throat and I pictured a surreal image of all of their cum in my stomach - becoming ever more voluminous. I dreamed about having a glass of these men's cum and drinking from it like a long glass of water. I was in ecstasy. The idea of so much cum, and of having swallowed so much cum turned me on and I wanted to make Tommy ejaculate.
I pulled out and got out my poppers for an extra hit to focus me even more. "WOW!", when the poppers swirl hit me, it made my mind fly high and I wanted nothing more than to feel Tommy's thick cock inside my throat. I started taking longer strokes and took him as deeply as I could. The poppers suppressed my gag and for a time I was able to hold him deep in my oesophagus until my throat muscles began tensing and preparing to heave. I could hear the intenseness in Tommy's moans and wanted to hold him there as long as I could. Eventually, I let off a little - gasping for breath, but keeping his fat dick in my mouth - sucking his beautiful bell-end and jerking the shaft with my hand.
After a moment, I suddenly became aware of the damp and cold surroundings as if my mind had just crashed back down to earth, and I heard him calling me a whore and other filthy names. "How long has he been saying that?" I wondered to myself, enveloping his cock in my mouth anew. I so wanted to taste his sperm on my tongue - it's what I had been thinking about constantly since waking up that morning, but I gradually began to notice that he seemed to be losing his pace. I felt him lean over and put his hand on my ass. His fingers grabbed at me, searching frantically for a warm, snug place to invade. Finally he found it, and I felt his index finger roughly penetrate my hole. He was finger fucking me as I continued to suckle on his swollen bell-end. Then a second finger went in.
Usually an uninvited finger, let alone two, would cause me to tense up and for pain to shoot through my ass, but I was relaxed from the weed. I had felt it as soon as I knelt down to start sucking him, my asslips were beginning to pucker and I had liked how it felt. It was a combination of the weed and of the aggressive fuck I had endured at the hand of Bobby's cock; 9 big inches with an engorged girth from his cock ring. Ever since that night, I had noticed under the shower the previous couple of days that the absolute tightness of my sphincter was now gone. It was something special that I had wanted to guard preciously up until then. With previous boyfriends I ensured they were gentle and took the time to open me up - coupled with the fact that none of them had been that hung - I had remained tight almost like a virgin each time it came to bottoming. "Bobby stole that away from me," I said to myself in my mind as I felt Tommy's fingers probe deeper with much less resistance. I knew that my sphincter would never be absolutely the same again, but I no longer felt ashamed about it. "I had to give my pussy to Bobby, it's what he needed", I thought calmly.
Tommy lifted me up and swiftly stepped around so he was behind me lined up to fuck my asshole. I was a little dazed about what was going on, but I managed to reach into the pouch and take out the anal lube. I squeezed some out onto his cock and reached back to rub it in. I then wiped the excess from my hands onto my hole and fingered myself gently to push it inside. I took a hit on the poppers and pushed my ass out to meet Tommy's cock. He was squeezing it firmly at the base to keep it as rigid as possible and with a deep breath I pushed my sphincter out and back on his invading meat as far I could in one thrust. It stung for a moment, but my mind only seemed to register the discomfort for a second. A psychological wave of pleasure washed over me as I thought about this man's large appendage filling up my colon. I pictured it inside my head pushing inside and my asshole physically transforming into a welcoming pussy for his huge cock. When I felt he was fully embedded in my guts I held him there as long as I could, as I sensed his meat growing and becoming fully erect for the first time. He began thrusting and enjoyed touching the opening to my cunt with his fingers. I followed his lead and reached down to feel my stretched asshole lips wrapped around his rigid cock. The sensation of his thrusts plus the feeling on my finger tips of my stretched out lips made my dick ache as it got hard and began spewing pre-cum. I started to edge myself slowly as he fucked me and we matched each other's pace. I wanted to cum at the same time as him, while concentrating on holding my hole wide open for him.
When being fucked in the past I had always needed breaks when my hole began to feel too tender or it just needed a moment to close up and pause before being dilated again. It had always felt so unnatural to me for my sphincter to be open and untensed for long periods of time, but now I felt a kind of thrill that my hole was opened and subconsciously I had disabled the part of my brain that tried constantly to tense the muscle closed. I could squeeze it of course, on demand to grab onto the dick, but I felt open, gaping and whole as the thrusts picked up pace. I matched the pace on my own dick to keep the rhythm and when I finally heard Tommy moan loudly, I started to jerk frantically. I wanted the anal spasms of my own orgasm to squeeze tightly on his cock as he shot his load and that was exactly what happened.
He stayed inside me as he dick lost its firmness and when finally he let his thick, flaccid cock drop sloppily out of my hole and my ring ached a little, I still resisted the urge to tense it closed - savouring the openness for as long as possible. We wiped ourselves down with tissues and I walked gingerly towards the path. I'd enjoyed it so much, I asked him if we could exchange numbers which he was happy to do. We walked side by side through the damp woods, both still quite stoned and said farewell as we reached the main street. I was so exhausted, I couldn't think of anything but my bed.
The next couple of days and nights passed off fairly quietly. The weather continued to be miserable and I realised that the woods were generally much quieter during the week nights. I managed a few Grindr meets, and found myself less interested in the men and more interested in the cocks. Some guys were fine with that, they just wanted or needed to unload, others wanted more of a connection. Anyway, from Thursday I began looking forward to the coming weekend. Thankfully, the weather was giving sun and warmth, and my orgasmic experience being fucked after smoking weed inspired me to go on the hunt for my own small stash. So that afternoon, I set off back to Pigalle and close by the Moulin Rouge, remembering the guy who'd asked me in the street if I wanted to buy some.
I found him easily in the same spot, a handsome young Moroccan; beautiful matt skin and dark, thick, curly hair. I'd already found him attractive the first time I saw him; it's what had given me the courage to go up to him. This time he wasn't alone so I waited a few minutes, loitering close by. Finally one of the group came towards me and asked me if I wanted to buy cheap cigarettes, but I declined and asked if he had any weed. He said he couldn't help me and walked off. I still didn't have the courage to go up to the young Moroccan, so when I was almost considering walking away I was surprised when he came up to me and asked if I was really looking to buy. I told him I was and he immediately asked me to follow him and set off down the boulevard. We walked only a few hundred yards, perhaps not even that, before turning into a small alley between two buildings and he turned towards me and asked me what I wanted. I was a little nervous doing this in the street and when I was taking out the 20 euro note to pay him, I ripped it slightly and felt embarrassed. He was smiling though, and I found myself staring at his crotch - wondering what lay beneath his jeans. We made the exchange, and something inside me just said "Go for it!" - I grabbed visibly at my dick through my jogging bottoms - not too obviously, so that I could pass it off as an itch if needed, then I looked up at him. He raised his eyebrow and so I did it again. He brushed it off, and I decided not to push it - feeling that this brazen approach could get me into trouble. The problem was now I had cock on my mind and I wanted to suck someone's dick; anyone's dick.
I sought out the bench I had sat on two or three days prior and feeling more daring allowed myself to get hard and for the bulge to be visible in my pants where I was sitting with my legs splayed out in front of me. Finally after 10 minutes, I caught a glance. It was an older man with a wrinkled face, but I could tell he was younger than his face showed; he was quite short and dressed reasonably well. He scurried back and forth nearby watching but not wanting to come over. I stared at him and reached down to touch myself - the signal that I was looking for sex. He did the same and slowly started walking away, looking back over his shoulder to watch me. I followed him down the street a few hundred yards, he turned up Boulevard Barbes and walked a few hundred meters to a run-down area that I had never been to before. I finally saw him duck into an apartment building and when I arrived he was holding the door for me. I slipped inside. We climbed two flights of stairs and into an old apartment; he led me to a bedroom at the back and he started undoing his trousers. He gestured to me and said something, but it wasn't a language I understood. I sat down on the bed. He lay down and pulled out his hard cock. It was big and I felt relieved to have followed him in here. I took it in my hand, it was long, thick, cut and curved sharply to the right. For an older man, I was surprised that his erection was raging hard. I leaned forward and took him into my mouth. I sucked him like this for some time, but it was an awkward angle and the curve in his cock meant that I couldn't take it far into my mouth. Eventually, he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me down so we were both lying on the bed but with me much lower - my mouth at the level of his dick. He took hold of my head and forced his cock into my mouth turning my head and guiding it so that, despite the curve, with effort he was able to push it into my throat. His dick was so rigid that it hurt and I gagged numerous times. Each time he forced his cockhead back into my throat until finally I calmed down.
We lay side by side, facing one another on the bed with my head in his crotch as he began fucking my face deeply. It went on for so long that my throat ached. I longed for him to cum, not only to relieve the pain in my throat, but I wanted to taste his cum on my tongue. I wanted to tell him, but I knew he wouldn't understand me. He continued moaning and fucking my throat for some time until I gradually sensed the pace speeding up and the thrusts becoming more violent. Then with a deep and hard ram he held himself deep inside my stretched out oesophagus and I knew from his body spasms that he was ejaculating deep into my throat. He pulled out without a word and I got up and let myself out of the apartment. I was satisfied, but left wanting more. I could only faintly taste his sperm in the back of my throat, as it had been shot straight into my stomach.
Later that evening I went back into the woods, but after another day of heavy showers there was no-one really around. "I need a night off!" I told myself, and my throat was still sore from the pounding earlier in the day. Deep down, I would have liked nothing more than to suck another cock though - nonetheless I watched a movie and managed to get an early night.
All through Friday, I kept promising myself that I wouldn't go to the woods that night, "This is getting out of hand!", I admonished myself, and felt annoyed that I had focused so little that week on getting out to meet people. I wanted a drink and to go out dancing, but I still hadn't made any friends, and I knew drinking would lead me back to the woods. I had a slight regret in my mind about picking up the weed the previous day, so I packed it away in my suitcase and told myself that I could only have it as a reward if I behaved myself over the weekend. In order for a distraction I decided to go to an early show at the cinema, and thought a beer after and another early night would be a good start to the weekend.
When I left the cinema it was still not that late and I sat for a beer as the good weather had finally made a comeback. There was a couple sitting beside me smoking and I longed for a drag as I drank my beer. "Damn, this was not the best idea," I thought to myself and knew I would not be able to stop myself from smoking a joint when I got back to the apartment. Like clockwork, when I got in I rolled a joint and told myself just one to help me relax before bed. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect, and as soon as I started to feel stoned I found myself trawling through the profiles on Grindr, absolutely fixated on the next cock I would suck. I decided the easiest would be to go into the woods. It was just past midnight and I might get the chance for several loads. I grabbed my pouch with the lube and poppers, slipped on my jacket and headed out, still feeling really high.
It was a new feeling; I had a new purpose. I cared less about what guy I might meet and I was more focused on it being a big cock, a guy with a big cumload, or better yet, someone who barely acknowledged me - just used me to service his needs. In truth, the blowjob I had performed earlier in the day had turned me on so much because I couldn't even communicate with the guy; it was non-verbal - we both knew why I was there and what my purpose was; to suck his cock and swallow his sperm. As I walked, I got out my phone and decided to send Dou a message as back-up and headed up the path to my now familiar hunting ground.
I walked deep into the woods, by-passing the enclosed park and further to the area between the paths with the bushes. I passed a number of guys on the way and pulled down my hood - not caring who saw my face. When I came to the dirt path I headed for the area that I had been in before, where I knew it was open, but shielded from the path. When I arrived I didn't immediately see anyone, but I was stoned and didn't mind standing for a little to let it wear off a while. After a short time, I could see a silhouette coming down the path, I was sure he saw me loitering by the tree when he slowed down and started approaching more cautiously. When he was close, I knelt down with my back against the tree to be comfortable and I waited. It was a clear sign of what I was there for. He gradually drew closer and I looked up at him. I was pleased to see a black man, albeit middle-aged and a little overweight, who reached out and stroked his hand across my face. Without a word, he unbuttoned his jeans and took out his manhood. When I took his cock into my mouth I smelled that it was musty from a day being trapped away, his pubic hair was unkempt and it tickled my face as I swallowed him as deeply as I could. I withdrew and pulled out the poppers which I knew would mask the odour and I craved the feeling of sucking as my mind began to drift off. I sucked him and concentrated on doing everything I could to draw out his cumload. I tried to react to every moan and groan to make him cum sooner. After a few minutes, he ejaculated his sweet, warm juices into my mouth and I swallowed them down. He walked away silently and it was over without a single word exchanged. It should have satisfied me, but it actually made me thirstier for more.
Two more men followed. I can't remember much about them, only that they both came quickly and I enjoyed the minimal nature of our exchanges. If they spoke to me at all it was to call me a "fag" or a "whore", there was no need for conversation - the balance of power was clear when they saw me knelt down beside the tree. I was finishing the second man and I could sense he was getting ready to cum, when I opened my eyes and noticed someone close by watching. I presumed he would step up after, so I swallowed and waited for the man to leave. When I was able to get a better look I noticed that it was Bobby standing close by. He walked away acting like I didn't exist. "FUCK!", I hadn't wanted him to see like that and I felt annoyed with myself that he had seen me - "how long had he been there?" I wondered to myself if he had watched me swallow three men's cumloads in quick succession. I started off down the path after him, hoping he would talk to me or maybe have some fun together - I'm not sure what I thought would happen.
I crossed him in the enclosed park, and he purposely did not acknowledge me again. It hurt me and I made a beeline across, so that I would be stood by the exit as he came through the gate. When he passed me, he looked over very briefly and I knew he had definitely recognised me - he started walking further into the woods and I followed him a few meters behind fixated on his path - still stoned from the joint I had smoked. He was walking further than I had ever been into the woods, and I wanted to call his name but I just kept following a few meters behind. After what seemed like an eternity he led us into some bushes and he stood and turned around. I approached him and he immediately reached around and grabbed me on the ass. His hand then went into my underwear and he roughly fingered at my asshole; a little too roughly that it stung. "Ouuuuchhh," I gaped and pulled away. "What do you want?" he asked me. I felt shy and said nothing until he asked me again more aggressively. "I wanna suck your cock," I told him looking down at his impressive bulge - I knew he must already be wearing his cock ring. "And?!" he demanded to know. "And I want you to fuck me..." I said sheepishly. With that he reached out and started fingering my hole again roughly. When I pulled back this time, he didn't allow me to and pushed his finger deeper inside. "Ahh Owww," I moaned again, making it clear he was hurting me.
He made me lick his fingers and then started to aggressively force open my asshole: "You want me to fuck you, you just said", he grinned. The atmosphere was tense between us, but the weed made me feel calm, and I didn't feel too ill at ease. I thought to myself that his cock would actually be less invasive than his fingers, so I reached down to open up his belt and jeans buckle and started to squeeze his cock with my hand, "Good boy...see you do want it," he continued, fucking me now aggressively with his thumb. I pulled out the lube and squeezed some on to his dick, took a hit on the poppers and turned myself hoping he would replace his rough hand with his now throbbing penis. I was jerking his dick trying to get him as far along as I could - I had a feeling this was going to be a wild ride. He pushed me forward so I was bent over with my hands out in front of me pushing against the trunk of a tree. He began lining his dick up against my hole and grabbing me by the hips, forcing me to bend my knees slightly. I was squatting forward and I knew that my legs would become very tired in this position quickly. I took a long hit on the poppers and could feel instantly that my legs quivering. I wasn't sure how long I could stay standing like this.
Then he began pushing forward. My instant reflex was to move forward too, to try to escape the huge pressure being exerted on my asshole by his massive cockhead. He was holding me by the hips though with both hands and didn't let me move, in fact he started pulling me closer towards him. His bell-end penetrated my sphincter and pushed it wide open with a short, sharp burning running through my ass. For 10 seconds it was agony and I wanted him to pull out, but he held firm. He had a much greater urgency this time, and without further ado, he began pushing forward with ever increasing pressure. My hole burned and the pain shot up through my abdomen - my asshole felt like it would tear wide open and I yelled out in pain; "GENTLY, PLEASE...please, baby" I tried to plead, but he continued deeper and I felt my hole stretch out further as the girthy base of his dick finally began to enter me. It was all over in around 25 seconds, I felt his full 10-inch, girthy meat filling up my gut and he waited for only a split-second before withdrawing almost completely. It felt like he ripped out my entire insides before ramming fully back inside to the hilt. I begged him again to go gentle or to allow me a second for my sphincter to relax, "You asked me to fuck you!" he said angrily and continued his painful attack. I pulled back my hand reached frantically for the poppers; I felt like my legs would give way without the support of my hands on the tree but I needed some relief. I somehow managed to take a few long hits between thrusts on the bottle of poppers, but this only served to unleash an even more determined Bobby.
He was fucking my manhole as hard and as deep as he could muster, and I sensed that his aim at that moment was to cause me as much discomfort as possible - I wasn't sure why, but the more he stretched me out and ruined my cunt, the more he seemed to get off. For some reason he was angry, and he wanted to take it out on me by annihilating my asshole. I was taking hits on the poppers at every opportunity I could, and though it seemed to take forever, I gradually felt that my hole was easing up and relaxing. The discomfort began to pass and although the position he forced me to stand in was hard to hold, I slowly found myself pushing into the thrusts and enjoying his extreme size inside my pussy. It was faster and harder than I had ever been fucked before, and I couldn't resist the temptation to reach round and feel my sphincter with my fingers; it was stretched to the absolute max around his thick meat. He began to periodically swing side to side between strokes as if he was trying to dig out my hole and loosen it as much as possible with his heavy meat cleaver.
Eventually he pulled out and began fingering me much deeper again, this time I could feel the openness of my hole. Without warning he rammed his penis back inside me, and began fucking me in hard long thrusts again. Now, even with poppers, my hole ached and I could feel the lips protruding further out than before, yet I wanted nothing more than for his cock to fill me up and for him to breed me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and used them to leverage his thrusts harder now than before. His cockhead was ramming up against my colon and each thrust sent a sharp pain into my abdomen. I could feel pressure building with every thrust and each time he pulled out I was forced to let the wind exit in loud, sloppy queefs. I took more hits on the poppers and felt stoned and in a daze as I thought about how at that moment, my hole was more wrecked than it had ever been before. I thought that if it never closed up again that would be OK because Bobby had needed to use it for his mammoth cock. I heard him now in my ear, "Squeeze my cock as hard as you can," as he thrust violently in and out, "Squeeze it!" he shouted. But he had done everything he could to open me wider than ever before, and with all my energy I couldn't squeeze my hole shut around he fat manhood, "I'm too loose," I moaned "you've ruined me," and it was the truth.
It seemed to be what Bobby wanted to hear and he thrust as deep as he could, the sharp pain shooting through me again each time. I wanted it to be over but he seemed to have thrust after thrust still inside him. I started to beg for him to cum inside me: "Please breed me!" I pleaded as the pain became overwhelming. Finally he crashed forward and I was pushed against the tree as he unloaded wad after wad of his cum inside my ruined fuckhole.
He pulled out just as abruptly and began wiping himself down with a tissue, as I stood there dazed and waited for the poppers haze to wear off a little. I didn't even pull my underwear up as I felt cum dripping uncontrollably out of my open hole. Bobby was tucking himself in, he threw his tissue down on the grown, looked at me and grunted as he walked away. I was still standing with my raw and bruised ass out against the tree. I slowly began to come to, and tried as best I could to clean myself up before walking back towards the main path.
It was clear to me that Bobby had no respect for me either. He saw a man-cunt that deserve to be ruined. I had never before been fucked so totally in my life. Being stoned from the weed and hazy from the poppers as I walked, I had an acute sense that in my underwear the wet, sloppy hole between my legs had been transformed; it was gaping open and it had been used for its true purpose.