A Christmas Knight

DISCLAIMER: This story is fiction. Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidence and is not intended by the author. This work contains homoerotic and sexual behavior between males of disparate ages and/or close familiar relationships and may not be legal for reading or publication depending on local or national laws. Therefore the reader is forewarned to read at their own risk.

Copyright 2006 by RimPig. All rights reserved. Permission is granted to Nifty Archives, to archive and display this work. All other uses are expressly forbidden unless explicit arrangement has been made with the author. This copyright applies to all chapters and pages of this work. It may not be reproduced, posted, stored electronically, or archived, except for personal, non-public use, without the express written permission of the author.

DEDICATION: To all the modern day "Knights" - the men and women of the American Armed Forces at home and abroad. Here's wishing that next year, there will be peace and none of them will be in harms way.

A CHRISTMAS KNIGHT by RimPig 2006

Chapter One

I pulled my cloak tighter around me as I trudged through the woods towards the thatched-roofed cottage that once had been home but now was more a place of ghosts and loneliness. Day after day, night after lonely night, I existed there, seeing no one, speaking to no one but the memories of those who had been my world. Now that world I had known was gone, flown off like the wild geese that I had seen over head months ago, heading for wherever they went when the earth turned cold and desolate.

It was cold, bitterly cold and if the dull, grey skies could be foretold, there would be snow soon. I remember when my little brother and I had looked forward to snow. Looked forward to the white covering which seemed to turn our simple, rustic world into a fairy land of sparkling white. We would run and fall into it, form it into balls and throw it at each other and do all manner of things that boys do. If it snowed now, there would be no throwing of it, there would be no running and falling into it. Indeed, I doubted that it would bring me any joy at all.

My life had never been easy, but it had never been lonely. I was born of two parents whose life was one of hard labor with little to show for it. We farmed, as did all of the families who lived on the land of the great nobleman, the Earl of Northampton. It was hard land to farm, however, with oftentimes severe and inclement weather. Because the land bordered the great northern sea, storms would lash the country-side, destroying houses and crops. One did not grow rich or fat off the land. If one was lucky then you did not starve.

I looked at the prospect of just exactly that - starvation. The previous winter, my father had died from some mysterious fever. This summer, a plague hit the countryside, carrying off my mother and my younger brother to join my father in death. This left me, at only sixteen summers, alone. While I was able at harvest time, barely, to bring in the crops that we had planted, I did not know if I would be able to plant again next year. Since I had not reached majority, it was up to the Earl as to whether or not I would be allowed to keep the land that my family had farmed. It did not seem likely that the Earl would throw me off the land since it was a parcel at the edge of his domain and not of any great size or value but one never knew what nobility was liable to do.

Now, in the dead of winter, with the Feast of the Birth of Our Lord but a mere few days away, there was little to do but to hunt what little game existed to augment my meager food stuffs of grain and tubers. Luckily, one thing my father had taught me was the fermenting of mead from honey and the brewing of ale from grain which added some variety to my diet. To be honest, the pleasurable feelings that came from the ale and mead were of a comfort in my loneliness as well.

Hunting was what I was doing that day and I had been moderately successful having caught not just one but two nice-sized hares which I would make into a stew. I had only just returned to the small thatched-roof cottage that was my one-room home when I saw at a distance, a horse and rider heading slowly toward me. This was not a usual occurrence. In fact, in my whole life, I could not remember a rider approaching our cottage. I had only seen a rider on a horse, or a horse at all, when I had traveled on foot to the village with my father a couple of years before.

I stood there in the doorway of the cottage until the rider and horse approached. I could see the man was bent over in the saddle but whether from illness, injury or just sheer exhaustion, I could not tell. When he tried to dismount, however, he nearly fell and only by grabbing hold of the leather harness surrounding the horse's head was he able to remain erect. I dropped the hares I had been holding and ran to him to see if I render assistance.

"My lord, do you need help?" I asked.

At this, he raised his head and looked at me. I was all but struck dumb. While he was apparently only a few summers older than I, he was, without doubt, the most beautiful male I had ever seen in my life. His face was not only handsome, he had incredibly arresting eyes of deep blue which seemed to pierce me down to my very soul. His hair was the same dark, reddish brown of the horse which he rode. His body was taller and more powerful than my own though it was obvious that he was tired and weak at the moment.

"I need to rest, boy." was all that he said, reaching out his arm and clasping it across my shoulders.

I helped him into the house and to the bed which had been my parents. Since the death of my mother and brother, I had continued to sleep on the pallet that my brother and I had shared near the cook-fire. But this was a gentle-man of some kind and deserved better than a pallet on the floor. As I sat him down on the bed, he unbuckled his sword-belt and hung it, along with his sword, from the head of the bed, close at his hand. The sword was huge and it was obvious that the heavily muscled arms of the man were necessary to fight with it. As I helped him to remove his cloak and outer garments, I was surprised to find that underneath he had a full covering of chain mail with a gambeson beneath, a gambeson being a quilted padding worn under chain mail to help to bear the weight of the metal.

All of this told me one thing, whoever this man was, he was a knight. Perhaps even a knight of the Crusade, of which the priest in the village had told everyone, that had been called to reclaim the Holy City of Jerusalem from the infidels and non-believers. However, he apparently was a knight in hiding for he did not wear armor and his chain mail was hidden beneath ordinary garments, though his sword was obviously visible. Indeed, there seemed to be an air of mystery about this young knight, a mystery which I did not have time to think about as I helped him finally to remove his lower garments and boots so that he was left in nothing but a loincloth. His body was as beautiful as his face with strong muscles but with several large scars from battle-wounds. He had evidently been in a number of battles somewhere.

He finally lay back on the bed and I covered him with the quilted blankets. I went to go over and pick up my dropped hares but he grabbed my arm, gently but firmly holding it in his strong hand.

"Thank you, boy. What is your name? I can not keep calling you 'boy'." he said, his voice deep but soft.

"I am called Caelin, my lord."

"And how old are you, Caelin?"

"I am sixteen summers, my lord."

"Sixteen summers, eh? A ripe age for a male. You will soon be a man." At this he grinned at me.

His smile was completely unexpected and surprising in what it did to his face. It made him look so much younger. His face before had been that of a man who had seen too much of the hardness of the world but with his smile, he seemed again a boy - a boy of not much greater age than my own. I could not help but to smile back at him.

"You have a beautiful smile, Caelin," he said softly.

"As do you, my lord." I looked down at my feet in embarrassment. I did not know what had come over me to speak in such a way to someone so obviously high above my own lowly station.

"Thank you, Caelin," I heard him say. "But please, do not call me 'my lord'. You have given me your bed - surely that, at least, must open the door to us being friends. My friends call me Ceolwulf."

I raised my eyes from the floor so that I was looking into his. He was gently smiling at me.

"Yes, Ceolwulf," I agreed quietly.

At that point, he still had hold of my arm. He looked down as just noticing that and opened his hand and let me go. There was a part of me that didn't want him to - part of me that wanted to feel some type of connection to him but I could not have told you then what form that connection would take.

"Are you hungry, my...uhh...Ceolwulf?"

"Nay, but I have a powerful thirst."

"I have ale, if you wish."

"Ale? Surely you are not a brewer as well as a hunter?" he smiled and pointed at the hares I had dropped in the doorway.

"My father taught me to brew as well as to hunt and plant."

"An accomplished young man." He smiled. "And where is your father?"

"He is dead. He died last winter of fever. My mother and brother were taken by plague this summer. I am alone here." I said, sadly, dropping my head again.

I felt his hand again on my arm, not grasping this time but more gently touching me. I looked up and I could see deep sadness in his eyes.

"I am sorry, Caelin. I, too, lost my family when I was about your age. Had it not been for my uncle, I don't know what would have happened to me. Do you have other family?"

"No. At least not that I know of. I know that my mother's parents are dead as are my father's. If either of them had brothers or sisters, it was never spoken of."

"So what will you do? Continue to farm here alone?"

"If the Earl allows it. It is his land and his decision."

"Is that what you want to do with your life, Caelin? Farm?"

"What else is there for one such as me? I have no learning. I cannot read or write. I am too old to apprentice for a trade, even if someone would take me on. I have no desire to enter the Church as a monk. There is only the land left to me."

"Well, I cannot blame you for not wanting to be a monk. That life never appealed to me either. As to having a trade, I guess my only 'trade' is my sword."

"Then...then...you are a knight, Ceolwulf?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I guess you could say that I am but I have not acted or felt like one in a long time."

This was said almost to himself. He turned his face from me and looked out, as if seeing things far away that I could not. I did not understand what he meant but, at the same time, did not feel like I had the right to ask him to explain.

"If you have thirst, let me get you some ale," I said, not knowing what else I could say at that point.

He looked at me, coming out of his reverie, almost as if he was first seeing me for a moment.

"Yes. Thank you. Ale would be very welcome."

I went over to the barrel and drew a cup of ale for him, bringing it back to the bed. He drank it and then said that he would sleep for a while, first asking me to see to his horse. He had to explain to me what to do for the horse, as I had never dealt with one but since I had grain I was able to feed it and there was a small stream behind the cottage where it could drink if it was thirsty. Ceolwulf told me that the horse could be left loose, that it would not run away. He told me that the horse and he were devoted to one another and, while I found this a strange description for a relationship with an animal, in some ways I found myself envying the horse. At Ceolwulf's instructions I also unsaddled the horse and removed Ceolwulf's leather saddle bags and brought them inside the cottage.

Finishing that, I busied myself with preparing the hares stew in the pot over the cook-fire while he slept. While it cooked, I lay down by the fire and was almost asleep myself when I heard him stirring in the bed. I looked over and he suddenly rose up, screaming as if the spirits of Hell were after him, his arms stretched out before him and his eyes wide open and yet, somehow, I knew he still was asleep, locked in a nightmare.

I went over to the bed, putting my arms around his shoulders and calling his name, trying to make him awaken. He finally must have heard me for he stopped screaming and his body slumped in my arms against me. The feel of his warm, strong, muscular body in my arms and his very male scent was causing my own male-stalk to harden and rise in the way that it did more and more often these days. While usually it hardened for no apparent reason, I was sure that this time it had something to do with the way I was holding and touching Ceolwulf as well as the scent of Ceolwulf which surrounded me. The odor was not at all unpleasant. In fact, I greatly liked it. Indeed, it would seem my whole body tingled with each deep breath of it I took and my stalk grew more and more hard.

"I'm sorry, Caelin. Did I frighten you?" Ceolwulf asked.

"No. My little brother would have nightmares at times and I would take him in my arms and hold him until he woke up and they went away."

"Like you are holding me now?"

"Uhh...yes. Like I am holding you now. I am sorry. I did not know what else to do." With this, I took my arms from around him and tried to pull away and off the bed where I was sitting.

Ceolwulf, for his part, would have none of this. He quickly turned and took me in his arms, holding me there. I did not know what to do. It had been so long since anyone had held me. Indeed, not since I was a little boy and my father would hold me but he had stopped holding me many years before.

There was a difference to the feeling of this. It did not feel the way my father held me. It was almost like the tender way I would sometime see my father hold my mother. And while it felt different and was unexpected, I realized quickly that I loved being held like this. It sent feelings through me of safety and completeness that I had not felt since I had been left alone by the death of my family.

"Do not run off. I liked the feeling of you holding me...almost as much as I like the feeling of now holding you. I am just glad I did not frighten you. These nightmares come when I am exhausted."

"No, it did not frighten me though you did sound like you were being chased by all the demons in Hell."

"Indeed, that is a good way to describe it. But the Hell is not beyond this world but was the world I lived in. I promise I will tell you of it, if you truly wish to know but not now. I would rest more now but methinks that I should not do that alone. Will you stay with me, Caelin? Will you let me hold you so that I may rest peacefully?"

I did not trust my voice to answer and so I merely nodded my assent. Indeed, I was overwhelmed by the feelings inside me as Ceolwulf held me in his strong arms. I had no desire to leave the shelter of their muscular protection. In fact, I had no desire to ever be physically parted from Ceolwulf for any reason but I did not understand then what those feelings meant.

Ceolwulf let me go long enough for me to climb under the coverlet. However, before I could do so, he stopped me.

"Do you wear your clothes to bed?" Ceolwulf asked.

I looked at him in confusion.

"In winter, of course," I answered. "The fire cannot keep me warm all night without them."

"But you have these quilts to keep you warm," Ceolwulf said, indicating those that covered him.

"Oh, no," I said, realizing the mistake Ceolwulf had made. "This is not where I sleep. This was my parent's bed. I sleep on the pallet on the floor beside the cook-fire over there. That is where I and my younger brother slept."

"But now that they are gone, why do you not sleep in the bed?"

"It just seemed...if I continued to sleep on the pallet, it felt less like I was all alone." I tried to explain something I had not completely understood myself.

"I think I understand but you are not alone now. I am here. So take off your clothing and join me in the bed."

I did as Ceolwulf said, undressing down to my loincloth. It seemed that Ceolwulf looked as intensely at my body as I undressed as I had looked at his, but I could not imagine why. I did have some muscular development that came from the hard work of planting and harvesting but I was slender in comparison to Ceolwulf and his was the body of a man while mine was still mostly that of a boy who was coming into manhood but had not fully achieved that state.

I moved as quickly as possible to get under the bed coverings which Ceolwulf held open for me, hoping to hide the embarrassment of my randy stalk which, once again, had become stiff for no apparent reason ever since the moment that I touched Ceolwulf. When I slid into the bed, however, Ceolwulf reached out and, putting his arms around me again, pulled me close to him so that our bodies were pressed up against each other and my hard stalk was against his side where he could not help but notice it.

The way that Ceolwulf held me next to him, there was no place for me to lay my head except on his muscular chest - which seemed to be exactly what he had in mind for he took one of his hands and gently pressed down on my head until it was laying there. His other hand gently stroked up and down my back, on one hand gently lulling me to sleep but, on the other, causing my stalk to stiffen even more. There I lay, held gently by Ceolwulf's muscular body and surrounded by his scent. I don't think I had ever felt in my entire life the joy and contentment which was flowing through my body as I lay there. Without being aware of it, however, I soon drifted off to a deep and dreamless sleep.

Chapter Two

When I awoke, it was dark outside. I could tell this from the fact that the only light in the cottage was coming from the cook-fire which still burned in the hearth but not as brightly as when I had gone to sleep with Ceolwulf. I knew that I was in my parent's bed and I knew where Ceolwulf was because it was he who awakened me. We were lying on our sides facing each other and he was gently stroking my cheek with the back of his hand while my head rested lightly in the crook of his shoulder.

"Ahh...there you are. I wondered if you were going to ever awaken," Ceolwulf said gently.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to sleep so long."

"Do not worry. I was rather enjoying lying here looking at you. You are quite beautiful, you know."

I looked at him in surprise while my face heated up in embarrassment. No one had ever called me 'beautiful' in my life and I did not believe for one moment that I was - particularly not while I was looking up into the most incredibly handsome male face I had ever seen in my life.

"No, I am not beautiful."

"I have traveled over much of the known world and, believe me when I tell you, you are indeed very beautiful, Caelin."

"I am not nearly as beautiful as you are."

This I said softly, almost hoping he would not hear.

"Ahh! So that is why you stared at me so much at first. I thought I had somehow repulsed you."

While he said this with a rather serious look on his face, he quickly began grinning at me which caused me to laugh. When Ceolwulf smiled, it was almost impossible for me not to smile or laugh as well, for his smile filled me with such good feelings.

Unfortunately, those good feelings were effecting yet another part of my body. My stalk was once again has hard as the stout limb of a forest oak and pressing into the equally hard muscles of Ceolwulf's stomach. I knew that there was no way he could not feel it and my face became even more inflamed with embarrassment. I felt Ceolwulf shift and move so that suddenly I felt something equally hard pressing back against my stalk. I looked down to see that both of our stalks were stiff and pressing out our loincloths. Because of the way that Ceolwulf had moved, they were now pressed up against each other.

"It is natural for a male to be in this condition. Do not be embarrassed, Caelin. Indeed, you appear to have a very hefty and healthy maleness. Quite a good size for someone of only sixteen summers." Ceolwulf's voice was quiet and calming to me.

I had to admit, that when his stalk pressed against mine, a thrill went through me the likes of which I had never felt before. Ceolwulf stopped smiling and the look that came over his face I can only describe as 'hungry' - but for what, I knew not. It was then that he placed his hand behind my head, pulling me closer and closer to him. He leaned forward and his mouth pressed against mine in a kiss. But not the chaste kiss like a father or mother bestows upon a child but more like the wanton kiss that a man gives a maid who he wishes to bed or wed.

My head spun. I did not know what to do, how to respond to this. On one hand, I was shocked beyond belief at what Ceolwulf was doing. On the other hand, I was thrilled to no end by it. I would have dreamed of it, if I had known such things existed. I did not know what to do, how to respond but my body seemed to take care of that for me. Without knowing how or why, I found my arms wrapped around Ceolwulf's neck and my own mouth pressing back against his. And so we stayed for the longest time, our mouths, our bodies pressed against each other, our arms wrapped around each other, lost in the warmth of each other.

When Ceolwulf finally pulled his mouth from mine, I moaned in frustration for I did not want to lose the feeling of his lips pressed to mine. Ceolwulf looked down at me with a impish smile on his face at my frustration.

"Do not worry. There will be more, my young wanton. But first I want you to tell me what you know of the ways of pleasure," Ceolwulf said.

"The ways of pleasure?" I asked, completely confused.

"The ways in which two people can give each other pleasure."

"I know nothing of this at all." I answered.

"Nothing? Did your father never talk to you about the ways of a man and a maid and how children are conceived?"

"He told me that my stalk getting hard and letting out milk in the night was because I was growing into a man and he would soon explain all of this to me but he died before he ever explained."

"I see...so you know nothing about women or males."

"No. Nothing. Well, I do know about mating. I have watched animals do that. I know that is how offspring are born. I have figured out on my own that it is probably how men and maids make babies."

"Well, at least you know that," he smiled gently at me. "But are you aware that when men and women mate, it is not like the animals. They actually care for one another. They love one another."

"I only know that this was true of my mother and father. They loved each other. I am sure of that. It almost killed my mother when my father died. I think, had she been able, she would have followed him right into the grave then. As it was, she had to wait less than a year to follow him. I felt when she died that it was partly because she wanted to be with him so badly."

"Yes, love can be like that. You are right in believing that. However, are you aware that with some men, that love, that desire, is not directed towards women but towards other males?" Ceolwulf asked quietly.

"You mean like between us?" I asked naively.

Ceolwulf looked at me in shock.

"How do you know that I desire you? How do you know this?"

"I do not. I only know that I desire you. Or at least I think I do. I have never had feelings like this before in my life, so I am not really sure what I am feeling. All I know is that there is something inside me that wants to be close to you, to touch you and I feel like I want to do so forever. Is that wrong?" I asked, fearfully.

Rather than answering me right away, Ceolwulf pulled me close to him and wrapped his arms around me. My face was pressed against the smooth skin of his muscular chest and I could smell his male scent strongly. His arms held me tightly against him and I could feel his stalk rigidly pressed against my own.

"No, Caelin, it is not wrong - though a lot of people think that it is. God is the author of all love so, therefore, all love comes from God, including what we are feeling for each other. I knew that I wanted you the moment I saw you but I did not know if you could feel the same way. It was not until I woke up in your arms from my nightmare that I knew there was any chance that you felt the same way."

At this point, I had no notion of what to do. To be honest, while I felt that there was more that needed to happen between Ceolwulf and me, I was perfectly content to be there in his arms and being held close to his body. Indeed, when I had awoken that morning, I did not even know just that simple, incredible pleasure existed.

But there was more and Ceolwulf knew what it was. I think he was hesitant, at first because I was so ignorant. Indeed, I did not even know how to pleasure myself at that point. Ceolwulf pulled back slightly from me and looked down. I looked up into his deep blue eyes and his mouth came down and again pressed itself to my own. This time, however, Ceolwulf's mouth opened and his tongue began to lick at my upper lip. I did not know how to react. I decided that perhaps I was supposed to open my mouth as well and so I did. The moment that I did, Ceolwulf's tongue invaded my mouth and I was soon sucking on it and moaning. The sensations that this was causing in me were even more intense than the previous kiss had caused. Now my stalk was not only hard but it was leaking wetness into my loincloth.

This had only happened on a couple of occasions and I had no idea what it was my body was getting ready to do. Luckily, Ceolwulf was more wise to the ways of males and he knew exactly what was happening when he felt my wetness soaking through my own loincloth and into his. He reached down between our bodies and gently grasp my stalk. I groaned loudly and then felt as though I had lost all control over my body. My hips began to jerk and rushes of feeling spread from my stalk to my whole body. All the while my stalk was quivering and shooting forth the milk that I had previously only ejected from my body during sleep. This time I was doing it while awake and the feeling was incredibly more intense.

"Yes, just so, Caelin. Let go. Let it go," Ceolwulf murmured to me.

He held me as my body thrashed in his arms, continuing to gently squeeze my stalk with his hand. Each time he did so, I could feel more milk shoot from my stalk until there was no more milk for my body to give up. I collapsed in Ceolwulf's arms, exhausted as though I had run for many furlongs through the woods.

When I finally stopped panting, I looked up into Ceolwulf's eyes.

"What was that?" I asked.

"What? You've never had that happen before?"

"No. Never. I've had milk come from my stalk in the night before, but it was never like that. Never that intense."

"Have you never milked your stalk yourself?"

"No. How do you do that?"

With that, Ceolwulf began to chuckle. Evidently, this was more of the things I did not know. My face began heating up again in embarrassment at my ignorance. Ceolwulf saw this and immediately stopped laughing. He got a very loving look on his face.

"That is something that most boys discover for themselves or from another boy. Perhaps your father meant to tell you about it but never had the chance. I will show you how it is done but it is very similar to what I did to you just now - only you do it to yourself."

"Oh...can I do it to you?"

"Yes. I would love to have you do it to me." Ceolwulf smiled. "But let me take off my loincloth first. It is better without it."

He loosed the cord which held his loincloth and I saw his stalk for the first time. Up to that point, other than my own, I had only seen my father's and my little brother's stalks and they were soft at the time. I had only seen my own stiff. Ceolwulf, however, had a stalk that, when stiff, was much longer than my own but the same thickness. It was beautiful, if such can be called beautiful, just like he was. Without even thinking, the moment it came into view, I reached out for it, wrapping my hand around it. It was warm and hard but the skin of it was soft and pale. It trembled in my hand as if it liked me to touch it.

Ceolwulf put his hand over mine and began moving it up and down his stalk, causing the skin to cover and uncover the rounded, purple-colored head. I loved doing this and I loved the feeling of his stalk in my hand. I noticed, however, that his stalk soon began to give out liquid just as mine had. Clear liquid which was not piss, but I had no idea what it was. Some of it dripped over my hand and I took my other fingers and wiped it away. I then brought those fingers to my nose and smelled of it. It has a very faint, rather masculine scent to it. Without even thinking, I then proceeded to place my fingers in my mouth and taste this liquid. It has a sweet taste and yet with just a hint of saltiness.

Ceolwulf watched me doing all of this. When I looked up, I could see his eyes peering curiously at me. My face heated up in embarrassment though, if you had asked me why, I could not have told you. Ceolwulf saw my reaction and reached down with his hand, gathered up more of the liquid on his own fingers and then licked it from them himself, showing me that there was nothing wrong with what I had done. When he had sucked all the liquid from his fingers, he again gathered more from his stalk, only this time, he offered his wet fingers to me. I opened my mouth and licked the liquid from his fingers, causing him to groan. I was frightened at first that I had somehow hurt him but he just smiled at me, letting me know that it was a groan of pleasure, not of pain.

I continued to stroke my hand up and down his stalk as he had showed me but now, I had an idea. It seemed like such a waste to only gather what my fingers could carry to my mouth of this liquid which his body gave so freely. Instead, I decided that I would drink it from the source. I leaned down and gently began to lick the head of his stalk with my tongue, gathering the liquid directly into my mouth.

This caused several things to happen at once. First, Ceolwulf grabbed my head and held it tightly to his groin. Second, his stalk thrust up into my mouth until as much of it as could fit inside was there. Third, his stalk began to release his milk in torrents, causing me to cough and choke until I realized that all I really needed to do was swallow it. The taste was similar to the clear liquid but was stronger and saltier. I loved it, however, because it was a part of Ceolwulf. It was a gift from his body and I gratefully swallowed as much as he would give.

Ceolwulf let go of my head and collapsed back on the bed in the same way that I had after my body emptied itself of my milk. It dawned on me that Ceolwulf must have been having those same intense feelings that I had while this was happening. I was proud that I had been able to give those feelings to him, just as his hand had given them to me. Ceolwulf reached down and took my hand which had been around his stalk and brought it to his mouth, kissing my fingers gently.

"Caelin, why did you do that?" he asked quietly.

"Was I not supposed to?" Not knowing anything, I was afraid I had somehow transgressed some rule or law I was not aware of.

"It is not that you were not supposed to, I am extremely grateful that you would want to, but how did you know to do that?"

"I did not know, I only thought that it would be easier to taste you that way." I said, quietly. I was not sure if I should be embarrassed by this or not.

"Yes, it is easier that way. In fact, I would have done the same to you but I was afraid that it would frighten you for me to do so."

"So it is a good thing for me to do?"

"Yes. It is a very good thing and I will prove that to you."

Saying this, he rose and again took me in his arms, pushing me back on the bed until I was laying as he had been. He moved so that he was on top of me. He then began moving down my body, using his mouth to lick and suck at my skin as he did so. I cannot say exactly all that he did because I was so overwhelmed by the feelings that came but finally, I was lying there, naked before him. Somehow he had removed my loincloth but I do not remember him doing so. He leaned down and began to lick my stalk, sending such intense feelings through me that I could not help but raise myself from the bed, my body arching in pleasure.

Ceolwulf pressed his hands to my hips, holding me down while he took my stalk deep into his mouth. The warmth, the wetness, the tightness was so completely unexpected but so completely wonderful. It was only moments and that feeling exploded through my body once again and I was ejecting milk from my body and into Ceolwulf's mouth. The intense pleasure I felt finally had me collapsed back on the bed in exhaustion once again with Ceolwulf looking down at me and grinning.

I reached up with my hands and gently stroked his smiling face. He leaned down and gently pressed his mouth to mine as I slipped my arms around his neck. He rested his body on mine and I could feel the warmth and strength of him, making me feel so protected and so loved in a way I had never felt before in my young life.

"Are you hungry?" I asked.

"Starving."

"The stew is done. Let me get up and get some for you."

He rolled over in the bed and allowed me to get up. I went to grab my breeches and he leaned over and took them out of my hand.

"You are so much more beautiful with nothing on," Ceolwulf said quietly.

I dished up two bowls of the stew and took them back to the bed. I poured each of us a cup of ale and we sat there, eating and gently touching and smiling at each other. We did not talk, our need for food far outstripped our desire for words from each other. Besides, what need for words was there? We had shared a communication with our bodies which was more intoxicating than any words could ever hope to be.

When we finished, we lay in each other's arms, gently kissing and finally yawning to the point that we just fell asleep in each other's arms. I had never slept with my head on another male's chest before that day but it took nothing for me to become more than used to it.

Chapter Three

I awoke the next morning before Ceolwulf. This gave me a chance to look at him while he slept. I could see the remnants of the young boy he had been in his face as he slept. He was so beautiful, my heart became so filled with love for him that tears filled my eyes. I also noticed that his stalk was once again quite hard and I could see a mounding of the bed clothes over it. I decided that I wanted yet another taste of him and so I gently pulled down the covers until I exposed his chest, then his stomach and then his hard stalk. I leaned over and took his stalk into my mouth, tasting the sweaty, saltiness of him and the musky scent of his maleness. The aromas and tastes had my stalk hard and leaking as well.

I had only been tasting him for a short time when I felt his hand on my head and then moving down my back. I groaned at the feelings he was giving me. I was surprised, however, when he pushed me over on my back and went to climb over me. He turned around so that he was facing my feet and took my stalk into his mouth. His own stalk was hanging hard above me. All I had to do was open my mouth and he moved his hips so that he was once again in my mouth. There we lay, each of us gently nursing on the other's stalk. It was an amazing experience to me. I was looking at his stalk and the hairy center of his body, smelling his man-scent and tasting the muskiness of him but, at the same time, it felt as if I was somehow licking my own stalk - something I did not think possible.

It did not take a long time for me to reach the point where my milk threatened to explode from me once again. What I did not realize was that Ceolwulf was near to that time himself and was holding back, waiting for me. It was his intention that we should each surrender our milk to the other as close to the same time as he could manage. I felt my body begin to jerk as the intense feelings began to flow through me and my stalk surrendered my milk to Ceolwulf's eagerly sucking mouth. At the same time, Ceolwulf's stalk trembled in my mouth and began to spit out his milk, which I eagerly swallowed, tasting the salty-sweet pungency of it.

We drank from each other until we had both given all that we had to give before Ceolwulf pulled his stalk from my mouth and then turned once more and planted his mouth upon my own. As our tongues caressed each other, I could taste my own seed as I'm sure that Ceolwulf could taste his. It was, indeed, a heady experience.

Ceolwulf rolled to his side, pulling me along with him so that I was wrapped in his arms and my head on his chest. We lay there without speaking, and slowly drifted back to sleep. When I awoke again, it was because I could feel a hand gently stroking my buttocks. The feeling of this had me quivering. No one had ever touched me like that and it sent thrills through me. I moved my head so that I was looking into Ceolwulf's beautiful blue eyes.

"I love the way you touch me," I said softly.

"I love to touch you."

"Do you...do you wish to mate with me?"

"How do you know of such mating?" Ceolwulf asked, seemingly startled by my request.

"I saw two rams mate once. Methinks that it would not be so different for us?"

"No, it would not be so different. But it is painful the first time."

"I had surmised that but I am willing if that is what you want. I would please you any way I can." I said, lowering my eyes.

"Please, Caelin, look at me." It was said softly but it was a command nonetheless.

I looked up into his eyes and was immediately almost lost in the depth of them. I had never in my life seen eyes more beautiful or more compelling. To look in them caused me to all but lose whatever wits I had.

"I would love to mate with you but it would not be fair. I cannot stay with you. I would not make love to you and then leave. That would be cruel - to both of us. You have not asked why I have found my way here. You have not asked anything at all. You have instead offered me everything you have: food, drink, even yourself. Do you not even wonder about me?" Ceolwulf asked gently.

"Yes, I have wondered but I did not think it my place to request such answers from a knight. More, what answers do I need? You have touched me in such marvelous and wondrous ways. You have made me feel things that I have never known. You have given me of your own body. What more could I, a mere peasant, ask for?"

Ceolwulf did not answer for the longest time. He lay there just looking at me until finally, he reached out and gently stroked his fingers against my cheek. It was then I saw the most amazing thing - tears, gently rolling down his beautiful face. I did not know what I had done to cause him such pain. I tried to ask what it was I could do to make up for this but he placed his thumb over my lips and bade me to be silent with a look.

"It has been a very long time since anyone has offered me their trust as easily as you do, Caelin. I do not even know if, at this point, I am worthy of it. You need to know, however, that I absolutely cannot stay. There are men are seeking me even now. I cannot allow them to find me. I must be gone before they realize that I have come this way. I can tarry but one or two days more at the most."

"Will be here for Christmas" I asked eagerly.

"I do not know if I will be or not. Why? Is that important?"

Again, I looked down, away from his eyes for I did not want to appear to impose any kind of burden on him.

"If you are here, I will not be all alone," I said quietly.

Ceolwulf pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me and hold me against his muscular chest.

"Oh, Caelin, I would not have you ever be alone again. Would that I could remain here with you and simply farm the land and lie each night in this bed and make love to you but it cannot be."

I could not say what was in my heart. I wanted to say to him that I would, for my part, give anything for him to take me with him. I would follow him no matter where he went. But I did not feel that I was worthy to say this, feeling that I would most likely be a hindrance rather than any help in his travels. Where I got the courage to ask him what I did, I have no idea. Perhaps it was because the thought of him leaving was already starting to tear me apart inside. My life had been so lonely since the death of my mother and brother and now, here was this wonderful, beautiful stranger who held me in his arms and made me feeling things I could have never dreamed of on my own. And now I was to lose him in just two days time.

"If you cannot remain, could you do one thing for me?" I asked, hesitantly.

"Ask, my beautiful young love and, if it is within my power, I will give you anything."

"Would you mate with me before you leave?"

He didn't say anything at first. In fact, he almost seemed to stop breathing entirely at my request. Finally, in a husky voice he said to me, "You need to know that when humans do this, they call it making love, not just mating. If that is what you really want, I will be more than honored to make love to you."

I looked up at him and smiled.

"But not now. Now, I think we should eat and then head into the woods to hunt for more meat, for surely we will have eaten all your good stew by then."

And with this, Ceolwulf kissed me soundly and then leaped from the bed. I watched as he headed over to the fire. I had no idea that one could find such joy in simply watching another man's body move when he merely walked across a room. Indeed, my unruly stalk began to harden just at the sight of Ceolwulf's body. I got up from the bed and joined him, squatting before the cook-fire as he used a stick to poke and coax the fire to greater strength.

We heated the last of the stew and then, somewhat reluctantly dressed and headed out into the cold day. It still looked as if it would snow but as yet none had fallen. When we got outside the cottage, Ceolwulf's horse came trotting over to him. Now, seeing the horse again, I realized how huge an animal it was, his shoulder coming almost to Ceolwulf's head. The horse came up to Ceolwulf and nuzzled him in the face, almost as if he were kissing him. At the same time, Ceolwulf reached up and with his hands and appeared to gently scratch behind the horses ears and to stroke the shaggy coat of the horse's body that had obviously grown thick for winter. The obvious joy with which they greeted one another made me believe what Ceolwulf had told me, he and the horse were evidently extremely 'devoted' to one another.

"Does the horse have a name?" I asked.

"Yes. Zafir, which in the tongue of the infidels means 'Victorious'. He is a destrier, bread to be a fierce war-horse. Were I not here with you, he would probably attack you with his hooves and teeth. That's why I can let him roam in your field at night without fear of anyone stealing him."

"He did not attack when I unsaddled and fed him last night."

"No, but he had seen me put my arm around you when you helped me into the cottage. That is how I taught him to recognize someone that is a friend and not to be attacked."

"I'm glad. He looks as if he is really strong."

"Indeed he is. He could carry the both of us all day long and hardly even notice the strain." Ceolwulf said proudly.

I thought to myself that I only wished that Zafir would do exactly that, carry Ceolwulf and I away to wherever he was going but I held my tongue.

We hunted the rest of that day and came home with two more hares, five or six squirrels and a number of wild onions, carrots and other tubers from which I would make stew. Ceolwulf insisted on roasting two of the squirrels over the open cook fire. I will admit, I had never eaten squirrel meat this way but it was very good. Ceolwulf opened his saddlebags and pulled small pouches of spices from them and added them to the stew. It gave the simple fare such flavor as I had never dreamed possible and the smell of the spices and cooking meat blended together to fill the entire cottage with a most heavenly odor. It was then that I knew the Ceolwulf must have been part of the Crusade for only in the east were such spices available.

We ate that night, sitting at the table that my family had sat at. I did not say anything, but I had Ceolwulf sit where my father had always sat. I am not sure why I did this. Maybe because he was a stronger, older male. Maybe it was the fact that, as a knight, he deserved the honor. What it did do was make dinner a more comfortable and comforting meal for me than it had been for a long time.

After eating, Ceolwulf banked the fire for the night. He then took my hand and drew me to the bed. He sat down and began to undress me, not allowing me to do anything. He looked up at me.

"I love undressing you. It is like opening a chest where a sultan keeps his treasure or perhaps more like watching one of the sultan's boy concubines being undressed as he dances." Ceolwulf gave me a wolfish grin.

"Have you seen such things?"

"Yes. I have seen things that you cannot dream of and things that are more horrible than any can imagine."

"Were...were you part of the Crusade?" I asked hesitantly.

"I was. I was your age when I left for the Holy Land. I thought I knew what the world was about. I was an incredibly ignorant boy. By the time I was eighteen, I had been made a knight and nearly lost my life twice. I have stood knee deep in blood and the bodies of infidels and Christians and have made love to beautiful Persian boys and handsome knight-monks. I had adventures the like of which they make stories of that pass from village to village."

"So why did you leave? Why come back?"

"Because I was still a fool. I thought that I was needed here. I thought that I could be of use to my uncle. But he does not need me. More, I do not need this place anymore. I thought it home. It is not."

"So what will you do?"

"I will find my way to the coast and I will find a ship to take me to France. From there I will make my way back to the Kingdom of Jerusalem where I now know I belong."

"Then if that is the case, will you make love to me now?"

"No, Caelin. Not tonight. Tonight I am going to do something to perhaps ease the passage of my stalk within you so that I might cause you as little pain as possible. On the morrow will I make love to you. It will be our parting gift to each other."

By this point, I was standing naked before him. He pulled me close and kissed my belly. He then told me to lie on the bed on my stomach. He got up and I saw him go over to the cook-fire. He brought back a small bowl which I had seen him earlier put the rendered fat from the roasting squirrels. He brought it over to the bed and sat down. He began by gently stroking my buttocks as he had done that morn. I moaned in joy as he did so because sent thrills up my body. But he began to move his hand so that his fingers were soon sliding into the cleft between my buttocks and gently stroking against my nether hole itself.

Ceolwulf bade me to kneel on the bed on my hands and knees. This put my buttocks into prominent aspect to him and opened my cleft. I then felt him behind me, taking some of the rendered fat and slowly anointing my hole and cleft. He actually slowly inserted a finger in my hole. At first I did not know what to do but Ceolwulf's voice kept soothing me, calming me until his finger was all the way inside of me. Once it was in, he waited, moving it slowly and gently around inside of me. Gradually, I could feel myself relax and loosen. It was then that Ceolwulf began to slowly slide his finger in and out of my body. At first the feeling was entirely strange to me but, as he continued, it became first pleasant, then enjoyable and finally left me wanting more - wanting something larger to slide deep within me.

Ceolwulf was evidently quite experienced in this type of pleasure for no more than I had reached the point of begging him to add more fingers, he did exactly that - withdrawing and then pressing back in with two fingers. As much as I wanted it, the addition of another of his thick fingers caused some amount of pain.

"Just breathe. Take slow, deep breaths. The pain will disappear," he murmured to me.

I did as he said and, just as he said, the pain began to disappear. He slowly slid his two fingers fully inside me and, as I continued to take deep, slow breaths, he then began to gradually move them in and out. Now the feeling was becoming pleasurable. So pleasurable, in fact, that my stalk - which had wilted when I was in pain, now became so hard that it almost was painful in itself. The movement of Ceolwulf's fingers ceased for a moment while fully inside me and I could feel him moving them around in search of something. I could not imagine what he was searching for but, suddenly, his fingers grazed something within me that sent a huge jolt of pleasure throughout my entire body. Pleasure so intense that I cried out as I thought my stalk was about to spend my milk. Instead, some of the clear wetness that precedes the milk flowed out and dripped down onto the bed.

"Ahh! There it is," Ceolwulf exclaimed as if making a momentous discovery.

"I do not know what 'it' is but I nearly lost my milk when you touched it." I panted.

"As you are meant to, eventually." Ceolwulf said, withdrawing his fingers from me. "That is the seat of a man's pleasure. It is what makes worthwhile the pain of taking another's manhood inside you. Indeed, if he is skilled, he can cause you to spend just from his manhood stroking over it."

"I can attest to that. I nearly did." I turned my head to look back at Ceolwulf. "Are you not going to continue?"

I was feeling so much in need of spending by that point, I thought I would lose my wits. Ceolwulf, however, moved around and lay down beside me.

"No need. We've done enough for this night. You will be able to accept my manhood on the morrow," he said.

I rolled over on my side and looked at him in shock.

"Do you mean we will not...well..." I was at a loss for words.

"No, not tonight, my randy young stallion. In order to overcome any resistance or fear of pain you might have, I want you fairly desperate to spend."

With this he gave me a grin and rolled over, still clothed, and made as if to go to sleep.

"You are not going to sleep in your cloths, are you?" I asked

"I most clearly am. I would not tempt you in the night." he said.

I lay there, no saying anything. Not only was I aching to experience the pleasure I had become accustomed to since Ceolwulf's arrival but, more importantly, I did not relish the idea of sleeping without being in his arms. After all, when he left, I would return to my state of loneliness which he roused me from. I wanted...no - I needed - his closeness for as long as he remained. Desiring this, I moved over in the bed until I was huddled against his back, mournfully woebegone at having only this touch of him without his strong arms to shelter me.

I think he must have somehow realized my pain because, shortly, he turned over and looked down at me. He reached out and gently stroked my hair and I buried my face in his chest, all but begging him to embrace me.

"I told you that we will not make love this night," he said gently.

"I only wish your arms around me. Please, Ceolwulf. I know you say you must leave and I will then, again, be alone but only hold me until you have to go."

He sighed and gathered me in his arms. My spirits instantly lifted at the touch, the warmth, the scent of him and I snuggled against him, wiggling my entire body until as much of me was touching as much of him as I could. Ceolwulf chuckled.

"I believe that, were it possible, you would crawl inside of me."

"If it were possible, I would."

We spoke no more words that night, merely slept wrapped in each other's warmth.

Chapter Four

When I awoke the next morning, I was alone in the bed. Indeed I was alone completely. Ceolwulf was not in the cottage. I rose in panic, afraid that he had left in the night without saying good-bye. Clutching the bed covers around me, I ran to the door and threw it open. I could not see Ceolwulf.

I knew I could not go out without boots so I ran back into the cottage, pulling on my breeches and jerkin as quickly as I could, I grabbed my cloak from the peg by the door while struggling into my boots. At the same time, the fear at the loss of Ceolwulf being gone caused my eyes to fill with tears that streamed down my face. I ran out of the cottage and began to search for what way Ceolwulf had gone. It did not take me long. Indeed he was behind the cottage with Zafir, feeding the horse and stroking it. I came close and it was Zafir that first noticed my presence, giving a low whinny and thrusting his nose toward me. Ceolwulf turned at this and, seeing me, smiled.

"I did not wish to wake you, you were sleeping so peacefully, but I needed to feed Zafir."

It was then, methinks, that he noted the tears that still streamed from my eyes for he reached out and pulled me to him, wrapping me in his arms.

"What is wrong? Did you think I had gone?"

I could not answer, I could only nod my head against his chest.

"Did you not see that my saddlebags are still there? I would not leave without saying good-bye. Nay, now I cannot leave without making love to you as I promised I would."

I continued to bury my face in his chest, letting him hold me in his arms while I tried to calm down. Eventually, I felt something nudge me in the back. I raised my head and looked around only to find myself looking directly into the muzzle of Zafir. He then nuzzled my face as I had seen him do to Ceolwulf. In response, I reached up stroked his nose.

"By the Savior's Blood, I have never seen Zafir do that, before!" Ceolwulf said, wonder in his voice. "I have never seen him take to another person like that. Should I be jealous, my old battle companion?"

This last Ceolwulf addressed to Zafir and, as if he understood the words, Zafir then nuzzled Ceolwulf who chuckled. I chuckled as well. It somehow felt as if the three of us, two males and a horse, had somehow formed a family. I wished for nothing more than for the three of us to remain standing like this, together, forever.

"It would seem that Zafir has somehow decided that he likes you. Believe me, he has only tolerated other people before this. In fact, for the first year that I owned him, he barely tolerated me."

"But he seems so gentle."

"Do not let that fool you. Zafir is a warrior, just as I am. But we are both gentle with the people we care about."

Saying this, Ceolwulf leaned down and kissed me gently. He then held me to him and we again just stood there, basking in the warmth of each other's bodies for a time.

"How far is the village?" Ceolwulf broke the silence.

"It is about half a days walk."

"Well, I do not want to take half the day getting there and then another half back. We will saddle Zafir and ride there together."

A thrill went through me. I had never ridden on a horse before. I was also somewhat afraid. After all, Zafir was a very big horse and I was afraid I would fall off. Had I known what Ceolwulf had in mind, I would not have worried at all, however.

Ceolwulf put the saddle on Zafir, who seemed eager to be going somewhere. I guess when you are used to traveling as much as Zafir and Ceolwulf were, it was hard to just stay put in one place for very long. I, who had never been anywhere, was excited just to be going to the village. I eagerly watched as Ceolwulf put Zafir's saddle on him. He then put his booted foot into what he called a 'stirrup' and rose up and onto the saddle on Zafir's back. He took his foot out of the stirrup and then looked down at me.

"Give me your arm, Caelin. I want you to put your foot in the stirrup and I will help you swing up behind the saddle."

I put my foot where Ceolwulf indicated and then felt him pull me so that I swung up and my leg went over Zafir's back. The next thing I knew, I was seated on Zafir's rump, directly behind Ceolwulf.

"That is good. Now, Caelin, wrap your arms around me and hang on."

I had no more grabbed Ceolwulf around the waist when he nudged Zafir's flanks with his booted heels and Zafir took off, moving far faster down the path leading to the village than I ever thought that anyone could travel. It was exciting but it was a bit frightening, too, at first. I clung to Ceolwulf, my arms around his waist. For his part, Ceolwulf held the reins, by which he guided Zafir, in one hand and the other he locked over my hands which were clasped around his middle. In this way, Ceolwulf calmed my fears as we moved swiftly over the ground.

"Do you like the feeling?" Ceolwulf yelled back to me.

"Yes! I love it!" I yelled back.

And I did. As frightening as it was, the excitement of traveling in this way far outshone the fear. And the feeling of Ceolwulf's muscular, warm body in my arms at the same time, made the travel incredibly stimulating. So much so, that I could feel my stalk hard in my breeches and pressed up against the back of Ceolwulf's saddle. The saddle, however, was so hard and uncomfortable that soon my unruly stalk was softened again and remained so. In what seemed almost no time at all, Ceolwulf was slowing Zafir and, when I looked around, we were entering the village.

The village, I realize now, was not large but to me then, it was huge. There were maybe twenty or so cottages, a small inn, a smithy and a small church. Ceolwulf stopped before the inn and helped me to dismount before dismounting himself. I followed him inside where he purchased several loaves of bread, some cheese and sausages from the innkeeper. The innkeeper wrapped the purchases in sacking while Ceolwulf counted out coins from his purse. I could see the smile on the innkeeper's face at the purchase and who was even more overjoyed when Ceolwulf asked about wine.

While, like most peasants, I had drunk ale all of my life, I had never had wine. Indeed, I was not aware of anyone who had drank wine except for the priest who drank it from the chalice during mass. The innkeeper went into a back room and came back with a clay jar that was sealed with wax. Ceolwulf gave him several silver coins in exchange for it. This was a huge amount, indeed, I had never seen silver coin in my life.

Gathering his purchases, Ceolwulf handed the bundle of food to me but kept the flagon of wine himself. Heading back outside, Ceolwulf climbed back into the saddle on Zafir and then had me hand him the bundle I carried. Reaching down, he again helped me onto Zafir's back behind him and hung the bundle from the saddle. This time he somehow indicated to Zafir to take a more leisurely pace back to the cottage. This gave me more chance to view the scenery on the way from the very different perspective of horse-back.

As we rode, I day dreamed about what it would be like to travel with Ceolwulf back to the Kingdom of Jerusalem. I dreamed of the nights we would spend in that exotic land, perhaps in a tent in what Ceolwulf called "the desert" - a place of little or no water and covered with something he called "sand". I dreamed of seeing the ocean that Ceolwulf said he would cross to get there. Most of all, I dreamed about what it would be like to be with Ceolwulf, to make love to him, for the rest of my life. It was something I wanted but I knew it was a foolish dream. If Ceolwulf would choose a companion, it would not be an unlearned serf. It would be another knight, a knight as brave and strong as he.

When we got back to the cottage, I was in a melancholy mood knowing that Ceolwulf would soon be leaving and I would, once again be all alone. Worse, when would I ever find another male to do the things that Ceolwulf and I did with each other? And, worst of all, where would I ever find another man to love as I had come to love Ceolwulf?

I knew, somehow, within me that Ceolwulf was, in many ways, as lonely as I. Somehow I knew that he wanted a companion, someone to be with him and to love him. More he wanted someone to look up to him and trust him. For some reason, that I could not fathom, Ceolwulf had come to believe himself of no consequence and untrustworthy. I knew that, given enough time, I could make him see what I saw when I looked at him - a brave and bold knight. A man so wonderful that none could compare to him.

Ceolwulf noted my mood, asking me what was wrong. I told him that naught was wrong, how could anything be wrong? He gave me a funny look but did not pursue the question further. I busied myself with the cook-fire, heating up the stew for us. Ceolwulf took the packages of bread, cheese and sausage he had purchased and put them in his saddle-bags to take with him. From them, he drew a small, beautifully carved alabaster jar and placed it on the bed. I wondered what it was but did not ask. I knew that Ceolwulf would tell me when he wanted me to know.

I could not seem to unburden myself of the deep feeling of melancholy which had taken over my mind and heart. As much as I looked forward to Ceolwulf taking me to bed and breeding me - or "making love", as he had put it - I knew it would be one of the last things that Ceolwulf would do before leaving.

Ceolwulf was aware of my mood and the meal was a very silent one, at least until the end. When Ceolwulf had finished eating, he reached over and put his hand on mine.

"It is time I told you why it is that I am here and why I have to leave." Ceolwulf's voice was low and gentle.

"There is no need."

"Yes, I think there is. I returned from Jerusalem because I received word that my uncle was gravely ill and might die. Since I was supposedly his heir, I felt that it was my place to be by his side before that happened. But what I didn't know was that in the mean time, my uncle had found a scullery maid quite to his liking and he had bred a bastard from her. While on the face of things, this meant nothing as the child was not legitimate, some very powerful men at the court of King William decided to interfere and took on the cause of the bastard. More, as soon as my uncle died, they attempted to kill me to get me out of the way, one of them having married the maid and taken on the bastard as his own. I only found out about the plot by luck and escaped before they could do as they planned. So you see, I have to leave. I have to go back to Jerusalem. At least there, I can live out my life in comparative comfort."

"But what is your uncle that there should be such fervor over his heir?"

"He is Simon, Earl of Northampton."

I stared at him in awe. I knew what an earl was only because my father once explained to me how our land was handed down from the King. I knew that earls were the most powerful of men - next to the King himself. That Ceolwulf was the nephew and heir of an earl made him even further above my station than I had believed.

"Caelin, I am a Saxon, the same as you. It was a Norman who wanted my uncle's title and has it by now, I would wager since our King is a Norman as well. I did not truly want to be an earl. I wanted only to see that my uncle's wishes were carried out. Since they cannot be, I'm perfectly content to leave England and never return. Now, do you understand why I must leave?"

"Yes," I replied. "I think I do, though this is all very confusing to me."

"Trust me, it all means nothing in the end. All it means is that I must get out of England and back to Jerusalem. Were it not for the threat against my life, I would never leave you. But if the men who hunt me were to find me here, they would kill not only me, but you as well."

This came as shocking news to me.

"But why? I have done nothing. I have no knowledge of earls and kings and bastards."

"To truly secure my uncle's inheritance, they must eliminate me but there can be no witness of the murder. Therefore, as long as I am with you, you are a threat to them as well."

I still did not clearly understand what it was all about. All I knew is that Ceolwulf would leave and go back to Jerusalem and I would never see him again. I thought to myself that if I knew more of the world and was older, perhaps I could follow him but I quickly realized that this was foolish. There was no way that I could follow. I had no great steed, such as Zafir nor did I know how to get to the sea - or to cross it.

"Will you still make love to me before you go?"

"This I swore to you that I would do so. Believe me, Caelin, I want to make love to you even more than you seem to wish it."

I smiled shyly at him thinking that this was not possible. I wanted Ceolwulf with all my heart and soul, even if just for this one night. This one night would have to suffice for all the nights that would follow it without him.

Ceolwulf then busied himself opening the jar of wine he had purchased and poured a glass of the purplish-red liquid for me. It had a taste somewhat like wild grapes but more sour tang to it. Like ale, it has spirit to it but evidently a great deal more because after several glasses, I was feeling very relaxed and happy. In fact, I began to giggle at almost anything that Ceolwulf said.

It was at that point that Ceolwulf stood up and, lifting me up off the stool on which I was sitting, carried me to the bed. I was absolutely amazed at his strength. While not as big as he, no one had carried me in a very long time. I seemed to weigh nothing in his arms the way he gently placed me on the bed. Ceolwulf than began undressing me, pulling off my jerkin and my breeches along with my boots. When I was naked, he stood there, silently looking at me, almost as if he were trying to memorize what I looked like. Then he began to slowly undress himself. I did stare at him in order to remember what he looked like. I knew that memory would be all that I would have of him by the morrow when he was gone.

Once naked, I thought that Ceolwulf would get in the bed and begin to make love to me but, instead, he took the alabaster jar that he had placed on the bed earlier and opened the carved lid of it. He then with his hands, rolled me over so that I was on my stomach in the middle of the bed. I felt Ceolwulf climb onto the bed but, when I turned, it was his naked back that I was looking at. He was bent over my nether regions, gently stroking my buttocks. I groaned at the feelings that went through me. His hands moved slowly over my buttocks until they were gently stroking in the crevice between them, his finger-tips just barely brushing my tender opening.

His hand left the crevice of my buttocks for a moment and then his fingers were back, but this time, with some kind of ointment that felt like the rendered fat he had used the night before but was more soothing and smelled better. The fat had the smell of cooked squirrel, this had a scent of sweet herbs and meadow flowers. He used the ointment in the same way as he had used the fat, he began to rub it slowly into my opening, sliding first one and then two fingers inside of me. He kept at the massaging of my hole for a much longer time than he had. Eventually, he introduced yet a third thick finger within me. At first, this hurt and burned and I cried out. Ceolwulf reminded me to take deep breaths and gradually the pain and the burning went away and the pleasure returned as he slowly slid his fingers in and out of me.

Finally, Ceolwulf told me to turn over onto my back again. I looked at him in the dim light of the cook-fire and I could see how much his need of me was. His maleness stood tall and proud between his legs and his eyes glittered in rut and need. If this were any other man, I might be afraid of the look he gave me but this was Ceolwulf. I knew he would not hurt me. I reached up my arms, begging him to lay on me, to let me put my arms around him and feel his body covering mine once more. He answered my plea by climbing fully on the bed and then on top of me as I wanted. But before he leaned over me, he grabbed my legs and raised them so that they were wrapped around his hips.

What I did not realize at first was that he had placed his stalk pointing directly at the opening of my body. He leaned over me and moved closer and it was then I could feel his hard maleness pressing into me. For a moment, there was fear of what he was about to do but then his mouth came down on mine and his kiss was savage and passionate. It was while he kissed me that I felt his hips push forward with force and speed and my hole was breached.

As soon as his stalk's head was inside me, Ceolwulf stopped and held his position, allowing my body to become adjusted to having him inside it. I could feel myself relaxing more easily than I had the night before. Of course, the night before I had not had more than half a jar of wine which I then realized was part of Ceolwulf's plan for my deflowering. As I relaxed, Ceolwulf pushed slowly but inevitably forward until, in less time than I would have imagined, the center of his body was pressed against me and his maleness was completely inside my body.

Then Ceolwulf leaned down and kissed me again. This kiss, while passionate was more loving and shorter. He pulled back and looked down into my eyes.

"Are you in pain?" he asked quietly.

"No. There is no pain."

"Good. I had hoped there would be none. When you have relaxed more, then I will make love to you."

I did not really understand what he meant but in a short while I did. I could feel myself relax inside and his stalk did not feel as huge as when it first entered me. Ceolwulf began to slide it back out and I cried out, not wanting to loose the feeling of him inside me. He chuckled at this for, even as I cried out for him not to leave my body, his hips had changed direction and were once again driving his stalk deep within me.

This time, he shifted his hips somehow so that when his stalk slid back inside me, it rubbed against that place that Ceolwulf had touched last night. The place that almost had me losing my milk without him touching my stalk. This time, when his maleness rubbed against it, I groaned at the almost unbearable pleasure that it gave me. I looked up and could see joy and pride glittering in Ceolwulf's eyes at his ability to cause these feelings within me.

I reached up, grabbing Ceolwulf around the neck and pulled him back down so that our mouths could join as our bodies were joined. He began to thrust in and out of me more quickly and with greater power until his body was crashing into mine. It was as if we were engaged in some kind of battle with each other, blow after blow, ramming himself deep within me and then withdrawing until he was almost free of my body only to ram deep again.

The most amazing thing to me was the fact that the harder and more violently his body slammed into mine, the better it felt and the more I loved it. Indeed, I was quickly crying out, urging him to do it harder and harder until my voice uttered a high pitched scream as my milk was violently thrust from my body, spraying itself all over me. I could feel Ceolwulf take two or three more lunges into me and then he yelled out like a warrior going into battle while jamming his stalk as far inside me as he could. I could feel his body convulse as his milk was emptied inside of me.

With this, Ceolwulf collapsed on me and we both fell deeply asleep for a while. I cannot say how long but I think not very long because the cook-fire was almost as bright as before. Ceolwulf nuzzled his face into my neck, kissing and licking me. For my part, I stroked his back and flanks, wanting to never leave that bed or have his stalk leave my body.

Ceolwulf bred me two more times that night. I do not know where the strength and stamina he showed came from. Nor do I know how I was able to keep up with him. When we finally collapsed in sleep, neither of our stalks could rise and my nether hole was sore and tender and leaking Ceolwulf's milk.

Chapter Five

That next morning was the Eve of Our Savior's Birth. I awoke to Ceolwulf's kiss. He was dressed and I could tell he was ready to leave. I quickly rose, though my body felt battered and bruised from the rather strenuous way Ceolwulf had bred me the night before. I pulled on my boots, breeches and jerkin.

I gave him a last cup of ale and had some myself. We sat in silence. I did not know what to say and was afraid that either I would make a fool of myself by crying like a mewling child or I would fall at his feet, begging him to stay - an equally embarrassing idea.

"If anyone should come asking of me, you have not seen me. You have seen no one. No matter what they say, you must not admit that I was here. Do you understand, Caelin?" Ceolwulf finally broke the silence with this warning.

"Yes, I understand. I am to tell no one that you were here. I am to say nothing."

"That should spare you. I would not have anything happen to you on my account."

"Will I ever see you again?" I asked quietly, barely able to get the words out.

"I will not lie to you...no. I go back to Jerusalem and I have no intention of ever returning. But I want you to know that I will miss you. I have found in you someone of rare and sterling qualities. You are honest and good, not to mention generous. I only hope that someday you find someone who is worthy of those qualities."

"It will be hard to find someone again."

He looked at me strangely as I said this. He reached out and brushed my cheek with his knuckles.

"I only wish I truly could live up to who you see in me."

And saying this, he turned, grabbed up his saddle bag and pulled open the door. I followed him, grabbing my cloak and throwing it around me. He mounted Zafir who nuzzled me and I stroked his nose. Ceolwulf then leaned over and handed me a small purse. It jingled with coin.

"Hide these until you have need of them. I would not have you to suffer starvation. With them, you should be able to buy seed or whatever you need." Ceolwulf said.

I did not want his coins but he insisted. He then leaned way over and kissed my forehead. I stood there, tears flowing down my face as he spurred Zafir and rode off down the road headed away from the village.

I stood there watching until he disappeared and then I went back into the cottage. I did as he told me and removed a stone from the floor of the fireplace and put the purse of coins there. I then gathered my bow and arrows and headed out into the forest to hunt, hoping against hope that this activity would at least keep the pain of Ceolwulf's leaving at bay for a few hours.

But nothing could do that. I thought about Ceolwulf all day and, that night, when I lay once again upon the small pallet in front of the cook-fire, I had no muscular, strong, warm body to curl up to or arms to hold me. I lay there miserable most of the night, mostly crying for all that I had lost - my father, my mother, my brother and now the only man that I could ever love. It seemed so unfair to me that God would bring Ceolwulf into my life and show me what love could be for such a short time and then have it snatched away again.

When I awoke the next morning, I realized it was the morning of Our Savior's Birth. I knew I should go into the village, to the church and hear mass but I had no desire to walk all that way or to be around other people. I knelt by the hearth and prayed on my own. I asked the little Lord Jesus to send Ceolwulf back to me or to let me go where he was. I begged the newly-born savior to return Ceolwulf to me, as he had taken everyone else that I loved already. I suppose the prayer was somewhat blasphemous but it was honestly how I felt.

I decided to slide naked into the bed that Ceolwulf and I had shared and spend the day there. After all, there was nothing else for me to do. I was all alone so there would be no Yule feast. I spent most of the day either sleeping or reliving the time that Ceolwulf and I had together. I will admit that I also purposely milked my stalk several times, thinking about the things that Ceolwulf had taught me.

It was late in the day when I heard something that had me flying from the bed and quickly throwing on my clothing. I ran to the door, pulling it open because I had heard the sound of a rider on a horse. Thinking that Ceolwulf had returned, I was terribly disappointed to see another rider on a horse much smaller than Zafir. It was then I remembered Ceolwulf's warning about men who were hunting him and who wished to kill him and anyone who sheltered him.

The stranger stopped in front of the cottage and dismounted. His hair and beard were dark and he had a mean and cruel look in his eyes.

"Hail, boy! Come here!" he ordered me, as if he were used to giving orders and having them obeyed.

I approached warily, not knowing who he was or what he wanted.

"Yes, my lord. What can I do for you?"

"Have you seen another rider, boy? On a horse much larger than mine?"

"No, my lord. I have seen no one."

"What about the rest of your family?"

"I am all alone, my lord. My family is all dead."

"Then you will not mind if I see inside your cottage for myself."

Without even waiting for an answer, he strode past me, pushing me out of the way. He went into the cottage and I followed. He stood in the middle of the single room, looking around. Suddenly, his arm shot out and he grabbed me by the neck, choking me.

"I thought you said that you were all alone, boy!" he spat into my face.

"I am, my lord!" I said, grabbing hold of his hand and trying to loosen his hold on my neck.

"Then why are there two cups on the table? Who has been here? Where are they now?" he screamed at me.

"There is no one, my lord." I croaked.

With his other hand, he drew forth a dagger and put the point under my chin.

"You are trying my patience, boy. Either you tell me who has been here or you will forfeit you life."

The point of the blade dug into my skin and I could feel it cutting me. I could also feel a trickle of warm blood - my blood - running down my neck. I didn't know what to do! I could not tell him about Ceolwulf. I decided that if I must die, to die for the man I loved was not such a bad way to go. Instead of answering, I spit into the man's face!

"Why you dirty little whelp!" the man cried out.

With a roar, he wiped the spittle from his eyes, which removed the knife from my throat for a moment. But I could see him drawing it back, getting ready to plunge it into my body when, suddenly, his eyes went wide and I could see all the blood drain from his face. His hold on my neck loosened and, with a groan, he fell forward onto his face, a dagger protruding from the middle of his back.

I looked up and there was someone standing in the open doorway of the cottage. However, with the sunlight behind him, I could not see who it was.

"You have courage, Caelin. To spit into the face of death is, indeed either very brave...or very foolhardy," Ceolwulf's voice came to me.

I ran to him, throwing my arms around him and feeling his arms envelop me.

"Ceolwulf! You came back. But...but why?"

"Because I had a feeling that someone was following me and I see I was right. That is Cedric deNavaro, a murderous knave in the service of the man who would take over my uncle's title and lands." Ceolwulf indicated the now dead man laying on the floor of the cottage.

"Thank you, Ceolwulf, for saving my life." I said rather listlessly.

"I would think you would be somewhat happier for that fact."

"Oh yes, I am happy," I said, pulling from his arms and turning away from him. "Now I can go back to living alone, sleeping alone, being without someone to love and to love me."

I heard Ceolwulf approach me from behind and felt his arms slide around me in embrace.

"I am sorry, Caelin. I did not ever intend to leave you alone. Had not deNavaro come, I would have come for you tomorrow. I want you to come with me. I do not want to live without you. I want to take you back to Jerusalem with me. There we can live in peace and no one will gainsay our love for each other."

I spun in his arms and looked at him, accusingly.

"You mean you knew he would come and threaten me?"

"Not for sure. I did however have a strong feeling that someone was following me."

"So what if he had killed me?"

" I apologize. I did not mean for things to advance as they did. I had no idea that you had the courage to stand up to him that way. Indeed, I should have warned you not to. He was an evil, hot-tempered brute. I am only grateful that I can still throw a knife. But I am so very, very proud of you."

At this, he smiled down at me. His smile melted whatever anger or fear was left and I reached up and put my arms around his neck, kissing him deeply.

"Now, gather your things." Ceolwulf said, breaking the kiss. "We need to leave before someone comes looking for him. While you do that, I'll drag his body into the woods. Hopefully, he will be a meal for some of the wild creatures before anyone thinks to look for him."

I gathered what few things I had that I wanted to keep. I did remember to move the stone in the hearth and grab the purse of coins that Ceolwulf had given me. By that time, Ceolwulf returned and we went out of the cottage. Zafir whinnied when he saw me and I went up to him and he nuzzled me.

"It would seem you now have a horse of your own to ride." Ceolwulf said, nodding toward the horse that deNavaro had ridden.

"But is not that horse-stealing?" I asked.

"I do not think that deNavaro has further use of him and I am sure you will be a much kinder master for the poor horse than deNavaro ever was."

I walked over to the other horse who stood placidly while I grabbed the reins, put my foot into the stirrup and swung up into the saddle as I had seen Ceolwulf do.

"Well done!" Ceolwulf grinned at me. "On to the coast and then to France. Then, my love, home to Jerusalem."

"Home to Jerusalem."

"Next Christmas we will spend together in Bethlehem where the Savior was born." Ceolwulf promised.

And so we did.

THE END OF A CHRISTMAS KNIGHT

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