The following fantasia utilizes characters invented by A.A. Milne. It is not intended as commentary on them or on his wonderful work or on any of the people or corporations who may now own the franchises involving Miilne's characters or stories or E.H.Shepard's indelible illustrations or their variations of them.
It does, rather, represent the mental associations of a particular reader -- me -- to the original Milne stories. It reflects, consequently, nothing about Milne, Shepard, or any current, past, or future franchise holder, but, undoubtedly, a great deal about the current writer and the currents of this writer's fantasies.
A Bear of Very Little Brain
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
"The Jabberwocky," Lewis Carroll
Despite all my efforts, all my efforts, my eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, heavier and heavier, falling shut and I couldn't sleep them open, keep them open, though I was trying, I couldn't keep them open, keep them up, up, open, and Daddy's voice was trailing off into cloudy distances even as I was trying so hard to listen because he was (hard) reading my favorite story, and I was trying to hold (hard) on to the words and not sink in to the sleep, deep, but I couldn't keep my eyes open. Sleep! I could hear faintly. But cotton was in my ears. And my eyes filled with cotton.
Eyeore was repeating, it goes in and out like anything, in and out like anything, just like me and sleep. I was going in and out like anything and Daddy was going in (deep) in (deep) and out (deep) like anything, in and out of me like anything, his voice was going in and out like anything, in and out like anything.
And then I was in the hundred acre wood and it was leafy green and the snow was falling all around me, and Christopher Robin was nowhere to be seen and I so longed to see him walking around in his short pants, thigh-high boots, and slicker. It began to rain, a warm gentle rain. Christopher Robin was up on the hillside, surrounded by water but safe in the rain, his slicker open and revealing his buff chest, but in a far distance I heard Daddy's voice calling to me through my closed ears, going in and out like anything, and I scampered on all four over the forest floor to get to him, and the exertion went to my head, and I felt a rush of pleasure, and found that I had grown a penis where there had only been a crotch of furry flesh before, and it was hard and stiff on the forest floor. I was in the hundred acre wood and full of wood, and when I pulled my new stiff dangle a bell chimed, just like it was a bell rope, and I kept pulling it and the bell kept ringing.
Who is making that infernal racket? I saw Eyore out of the corner of my eye, springing out from his house of sticks at the corner, full of tricks. He said, Can't they be a little considerate? Don't they know that some people are trying to sleep? No, I guess they don't, he said. How like them! he said.
And then he turned around three times, lowered his head and saw me.
Why Pooh, he said, what are you doing with my tail?
Is it your tail Eyore? I asked mystified.
It must be, he said, because Owl hasn't got a bell rope anymore.
But Owl did not need a bell-rope, I said, because he can fly though the wood at night in the dark and watch as the lovers suck cock in the park.
But I don't think it is your tail, Eyore, I said, looking down at my beautiful, new hard-on.
And sure enough, Eyore's tail was securely fastened behind him, but standing up board stiff, just like my entire wood.
I looked into his eyes and saw what I never saw deep in them there before and became so frightened I cast off my clothes and ran through the hundred acre wood squealing so shrilly anyone would have thought I was Piglet and not only bare.
Eyore just stood where he stood and mused to himself, They blame me for everything.
But Pooh in his panic ran straight into Christopher Robin who was distractedly wandering through the hundred acre wood carrying his open umbrella, his chest bare, wearing his short pants, his rain slicker half hanging open and his calf-high boots showing off his nicely shaped legs to advantage, and he knocked him down flat.
The two tumbled together rolling one on top of the other, rolling now joint, time after time, down down down to the bottom of the open pit, in and out of it, the very deep pit, in it, which Pooh and Piglet had never filled after they caught a heffalump. In and out like anything. My favorite pit.
Silly old Bear, said Christopher Robin, get off me.
Pooh realized that the end of their tumble had left him sprawled out on top of the supine boy, and he rose confused.
Christopher Robin stood and closed his umbrella and looked at Pooh who was blushing a deep scarlet all the way down to the tips of his eyes.
Silly old Bear he repeated, and then he saw Pooh's new addition and took hold of the hard rod, and Pooh felt such feelings he had never felt before that he became fuzzy and gooshy all over and it was just like his head was in a pot of honey and he was full of condensed milk and he felt himself all ajar.
I do love you bear, Christopher Robin said rubbing Pooh's rod.
The wood began to spin and Christopher Robin and Pooh began to dance and Daddy began to sing going in and out like anything, in an out like anything, as he roughed the rubbed nipples of Buddy's bare chest, of Christopher Robin's buff chest, off Pooh's bear breast.
He called him my little boy as his cock slid in and out of him like anything, in and out like anything, and the lad lay under him eyes glazing and gazing up into his, caught in the wonder of the story. Up into his. In and out like anything.
Oh Daddy come into my wood. Take me to your wood; take me to your wood. Take me to you good. Oh, you're so good, and I'll be good. Just take me in hand, take me, take me in and out like anything.
And it was then that Pooh made up his Song of the Spill, which he sang every time he grew excited and his tail turned to wood.
What would you say if on a good day -- When everything was going as it should, was going good -- The thing that wasn't there before between your legs turned to wood?
How would you feel if you lay down after your meal -- To take a long nap, like a happy, contented chap -- And found something unexpected in your lap?
What would you do if your name was Pooh And -- without a doubt, giving a shout -- Something kept going in and out?
Daddy was crooning, and I was groaning.
Open my eyes. I opened my eyes and felt his surprise, his powerful thighs pressing my thighs, holding my eyes.
The bees from the trees tickled by nose. My head that day was stuck all the way down in Rabbit's hole, by Piglet's bole, with a hanging pole, and my back in the air, for all to share, and Piglet was there with his eyes in his shoes, singing the blues in a high falsetto.
O Daddy, Daddy, take me I'm yours. Beat me again if I don't do my chores. Take me, o take me. I know I am yours.
The light was suddenly blinding. The moon hung in the sky, irradiating my eyes. He tied me to the bed, and I began to cry. That day light broke, and then he spoke. The night is mine. The day is yours.
We took off our boots and put on our suits and each took the train and maxed out our brain doing things that we ought not to have done. But the money was good, and if you're going to play, you better have hay, or you'll hurt yourself bad when you fall. And soon enough the train goes backward again and the brain goes to sleep on its own.
I knelt and leaned and pressed my cheeks between his rugged thighs, took him hard into my mouth and recalled that those were pearls that were his eyes. The time was later. The time was water. I had gone and I had come, and I was a boy but over twenty-one.
We danced in sequins and a shimmering chest. The glitter ball flung the light as it hung from the rotor that turned it around. The club spun around and I fell to the ground. I knew I was his with my cock in his fist as he turned me around and around.
I slept in his bed and I gave him head. My mind felt like lead. But Daddy said he wanted it. I did two. ^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å^Å..
Another morning came, and another night fell down.
Eyore looked around, but from everywhere he stood, it was plain to see there was no one in the hundred acre wood. He turned and looked the other way.
I told you it would happen one or another day. Everyone would go away and you'd be left alone to pay.
Don't rub it in, Bear said. Christopher Robin's gone off to school. And he will rue it for no one you know comes back from there.
He leaned back in his chair and listened as Owl perched on the air,
There's nothing under me anymore, he said.
But Owl appeared with his beak in the air and hovered above me at the top of the stair.
Then I woke up and began to stare.
Do you want to watch me take my bath?
Gee, said Pooh, I really do.
I kissed him again and he came all goo.