Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional and not intended for minors or those judged unable by law to read this material. Any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental and unintended.
The author reserves all rights to this work.
15 HARTFORD
The story so far: Martin is behaving differently after his visits to the counselor. He has become more 'human', as his technicians call him. He had Michael and his family over his mother's house for Christmas and was opening up to Michael when they were interrupted.
Part 7 - Love
Martin drove them back home the next day. It was already Friday but because Michael had made arrangements to see Martin, so Martin stayed back in his flat instead of going back to his mother's.
"I'm sorry for last night, my brother and sister were so rude," Michael apologised to Martin when he had arrived at the flat and sat down in the living room.
"Don't apologise. They are still young. What happened?"
"Charlene decided to look up Adam but did not bother to knock and she caught Adam without his pants and underpants."
Martin chuckled, "How strange that when children are children, they look at each other innocently and do not really care but when they become teenagers, they become very aware of their differences and react strongly at any hint of exposure."
"I was hoping that we could continue our conversation from last night," said Michael, "before we were rudely interrupted."
Martin kept quiet. Michael reassured him, "I did not mean to pressurize you. If you do not want to say anything, it is fine by me."
"No. I know I have to. My fear is putting it off," Martin retorted.
After a short pause, Martin continued, "Michael, I've accepted that I'm gay. I admitted that I lusted after you. Fortunately, I have also come to treasure your friendship. It has put a perspective on the kind of relationship I am having with you. Accepting me as a friend, you have helped me to realise that my lust can only hurt the relationship." Martin then paused. Michael could see that he had tears in his eyes. "What I am going to say next is hard for me because I am afraid ... afraid that you will just get angry with me."
"Martin, I promise I won't react. Please continue," Michael knew that Martin was going through a terrible time at the moment. He also knew that the moment he let whatever he had to say out, it would also mean a burden lifted off the older man's shoulders.
Martin paused for about a minute, calming himself before he continued, "I think that knowing and being with you these past months has made me very happy. I'll always remember that first bowl of soup you bought. You just did not take no for an answer. When you ran away, I was very hurt. I was angry with myself for chasing you away. It cut deep when you said that I hired you because I lusted after you. I knew you hated me because of the way I had reacted when you hugged me that morning. I wanted to hate you but I couldn't. I was hurt but not by you. When I mentioned this to my counselor, he asked me if I was falling in love with you. At first I said maybe. It took me a few sessions for me to come to a definite answer. But I am old enough to be your father, Michael, and so this is an impossible love. I cannot hope for you to love me the same way I know I love you. I am slowly coming to terms with it. At the moment, I am working with my counselor to accept this. At first I had wanted to just keep away from you, but the counselor said that I am not facing my fear, that I am just running away from reality. There is a pain in here, Michael and I hope you will understand when sometimes I keep quiet when I see you happy. I cannot explain it but it is there."
Michael stood up and walked over to Martin. He sat on the ground beside Martin and put his head on Martin's thigh. There were tears in his eyes.
"What's wrong, Michael?" Martin asked.
"I've got a confession to make, too."
"What is it?" Martin asked bravely, but his voice had wavered a little, indicating that he was also fearful.
Michael looked up and gazed into Martin's face. "Slightly more than one month ago, a girl in the swimming club came on to me. She expressed her interest in me, more than just swimming."
"She did not know you were gay, then," Martin said, more like a statement than a question.
"No she did not. I thought that it would be a nice charade to use so that people won't be suspicious. However, I soon realised that I'll be just using her and then I though of someone else."
"Who?"
"You, Martin. I started thinking about you and how you would feel if I started to go with someone else. At first, I thought that I was just trying not to disappoint you but the more I thought about it, I realised that there was something deeper. I did not want to betray you. I wasn't even thinking of the love that Jimmy and I had. I was thinking of how much I would betray you and hurt you if I had gone with someone else."
"Perhaps, you are thinking this because I am helping you out with your studies. You were just considering how I would feel," Martin offered.
"You don't understand, do you? I wasn't thinking about Jimmy. I was thinking about you."
"What are you saying, Michael?"
"That I think I am falling in love with you too!"
Martin stood up. He had a troubled look. "Don't mix up love with gratitude young man. I am a forty year old man. I am old enough to be your father. Please don't do this to me. I am slowly going to accept the fact that I shouldn't hope about love with you and you throw me this! You could have any of the cute guys in school. Any of the good-looking ones. Look at me, I am just a plain-looking man going into middle age. How can you possibly be in love with me?" Martin argued. He stood up and moved towards a wall, away from the window.
Martin was confused. He was glad inside that Michael loved him, but at the same time he was not sure. He wondered if Michael was just subsitituting him for Jimmy. If someone else like Jimmy came along, he wondered whether Michael would just abandon him and go off with that someone.
"I don't know. All that I know that after that incident with the girl, I was thinking a lot about you. At first, I thought that I was just substituting Jimmy for you, but my feelings for you even surpassed what I felt for Jimmy. Day after day, I wanted so much to share my feelings with you but I could not. I was afraid that you would run away. I was afraid that if you left, I will never know if you still had the same feelings for me. I did not want to have to live my life not knowing what it what it could have been like to be together with you."
Martin started crying. Michael saw the man he loved sobbing. He stood up and moved to Martin. He took Martin into his arms and held the man. He removed Martin's spectacles and placed them off on the coffee table. Then he grasped hold of Martin's head and tilted it so that he was looking at Martin.
Martin could tell that Michael looking at him but the image was not very clear. He saw Michael leaning forward and he felt Michael kissing him on the forehead. His tears were coming to a halt. Then he saw Michael face tilting slightly downwards and he felt his lips covered by Michael's. Martin did not resist. He was experiencing his first kiss. It seemed like he was in heaven. However, all too soon, that heavenly feeling ended when Michael released him.
"Martin," Michael said, "When you did not make any indications to me, I told myself that perhaps you no longer felt the same way about me. I told myself to let you go. I told myself that I had to let my feelings for you die. But everytime I see you smile, I hear your voice in my heart. I wanted so much to tell you but had not the courage."
Martin touched Michael's face and found it wet with tears.
"When you were pouring your heart to me, I realised that I had to choose between letting you go and telling you. I decided to tell you because if I let you go, I will never know what it would be like to love you and to be loved by you. I'd be just taking the easy way out."
There were tears in Martin's eyes. He had begun to realise that Michael's feelings for him were real and that Michael had a struggle too.
"Remember that I had gone up to see Jimmy alone?"
Martin nodded.
"I went there to talk it out with him. I realise that what I really did was to talk it out with myself. I spent two hours there, Martin. Two hours in the cold talking to him. I know I am not mixing up gratitude with love. All I know is that although our ages are worlds apart, I have fallen in love with you. Don't ask me why or how, I don't know. All I know is that you are in my heart."
Michael placed his lips on Martin's. It was a passionate kiss, and Martin was experiencing something new. Martin was enjoying the new sensations but he was also confused. He did not know whether to carry on or to stop Michael. When he felt Michael's tongue there was yet another sensation that was invading his being. Martin stopped fighting the feelings and let his body respond. His tongue sought Michael's and when they made contact, there was an intertwining of tongues.
The kiss was a long one and for Michael, it was excruciatingly long. He wanted to go somewhere else but he knew that Martin was experiencing this for the first time and so whatever happened should not be rushed. Soon they released each other and both men were gasping for air. Michael then took the opportunity to kiss Martin's neck. Martin breathed in sharply as he felt Michael's lips on his neck. Michael moved lower and began to kiss Martin through his shirt. He found Martin's nipple and gave the older man another new sensation.
Martin spoke out, "I know what we will be doing. If I am going to be loved by you, I would like to be presentable; I would like to clean myself up."
Michael broke into a wide grin. "Can we shower together?"
They got into the bathroom. Michael stripped off his clothes. Then he notice that Martin was a little apprehensive.
"If you would like to shower alone, I can wait for you?"
"No, I'd like to shower with you but I just saw your young lithe body and began to be very aware of my old flabby body."
Michael smiled. He stood in front of Martin and said, "I love you for you, not for your looks ... No, that doesn't sound right. ... I mean I don't really care if you are flabby, I love you and I love everything that is you, including your body, flabby or otherwise. ... Oh dear, that didn't sound right either ..."
Martin started to laugh. "Alright Michael, I understand."
Michael was disappointed that he did not bring the little hose that Jimmy had used to clean him. He would love to have Martin make love to him the way that Jimmy used to. "Just as well," Michael thought, "I'll just have to show him one step at a time." He helped Martin to remove the rest of his clothes. Then they stepped into the bath-tub and drew the shower curtains. Michael turned on the water and then took the soap in his hands.
"Enjoy this first. I want to feel every part of you," Michael said stressing the word 'every'. He got Martin to stand with his back to him. Then he soaped Martin's back and used a circular motion to rub Martin's back muscles. Martin felt relaxed as Michael ended at the lower back. Michael was not only washing but massaging him as well. Michael's hands moved to Martin's chest and did the same circular motions. His hands went down as far as his abdomen just above the pubic region. Martin's dick was erect. There were sensations that he had never felt before.
Then Michael turned Martin around and planted a kiss on Martin's lips, his hands were going down to Martin's bum. There Michael sensuously massaged the two biggest muscles of Martin's body. His fingers went into that groove between the two muscles and touched Martin's arsehole. Martin jumped a little but soon started to moan as Michael started to stroke the entrance of the hole gently. Then Michael released Martin and turned him around once more. Martin felt Michael's hands moving down the length of his legs and reaching his feet. Michael massaged him and he began to feel relaxed. The last part of the body that Michael touched were his genitals. Michael gingerly pulled back his foreskin and then started to wash the sensitive glans. Martin was overcome with pleasure. Michael's hands were stimulating but not pushing him over the edge. Then he felt Michael's hands massaging his balls. He found himself leaning backwards on to Michael. Then Michael stopped, took off the shower head and rinsed Martin. When he was rinsed off the soap, he still had not lost his hardness.
"Let me clean you, now," Martin whispered to Michael. "I can only soap but not massage. I do not know how. Is it okay?" Martin asked.
Michael said, "So long as it is you doing it, I am happy."
Martin started to soap Michael and felt the curves of Michael's developed swimming muscles. However, his insecurities started to pop up as soon as he thought of the shape his body was in. He began to question why Michael was thinking of having sex with him. It was as if Michael was doing all this for Martin's sake. He began to think that Michael was just being kind, paying back for the favours that he had received from Martin. By the time Martin started rinsing Michael, the younger man noticed something amiss. They dried each other in silence and both of them had lost their erections.
After they had laid the towels on the rack, Michael came into the bedroom first. He sat down on the bed, waiting for Martin to appear. Martin walked in slowly.
"What is wrong, Martin? Did I do something to hurt you?"
"No. It just doesn't feel right doing what we are doing."
"Oh," Michael said although he did not understand. "What doesn't feel right?"
"You don't have to force yourself on me. I know I am not attractive maybe ugly. I know that you are grateful for what I have done ..."
"Martin," Michael said with a hurt voice, realising what Martin was saying. "Do you look at me like some kind of prostitute? Don't you remember what happened on the day I left the company?"
Martin nodded. "I remember. You hated me then. How can you start wanting to have sex with me?" Martin sounded very distressed; he was worried if this conversation was going to enter into another flare up from Michael.
"Don't you remember what I said. I will not sleep with you because of something you did. Don't you understand? I want you for you, not for what you've done for me. I want to make love with you, I want to express my love for you, not just mechanical sex."
Michael took Martin in his arms and kissed him. The kiss got more passionate as they drew even closer, their hands were roaming around each other's bodies, caressing and stroking. Martin was thoroughly enjoying the closeness he felt to Michael.
They broke off the kiss to get onto the bed. Then they began to kiss and caress each other. Michael took the lead, he started kissing Martin all over which made him groan. There were no other preliminaries. As soon as Michael reached Martin's crotch, he took Martin into his mouth. Martin was squirming in pleasure. Michael was caressing his balls at the same time and felt them rising up the sac. He heard Martin's breathing increase and the glans in his mouth expand ever so slightly. Michael knew that Martin had reached the point of no return. He took Martin's dick up to the base. Martin gasped as he felt his whole dick swallowed by Michael and started moaning when he felt the first rush of semen move through his dick into Michael's mouth. The pleasure that he was feeling concentrated at his crotch was moving through his body and his heart was beating hard.
Michael swallowed as Martin gushed into his mouth. His hands were stroking Martin's upper thighs which were tensed with each pulse of the orgasm. He kept Martin in his mouth until he was soft.
When Martin recovered from the experience, he lay back with tears in his eyes. It was the best feeling he had ever experienced. He was totally relaxed. Michael moved up to see the tears and became concerned.
"You're not regretting what happened are you?"
"No. I just so happy. This is so dream-like. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I want to do the same to you."
Martin put Michael's dick into his mouth, he started sucking and his teeth came into contact with the skin of the organ.
"Ouch! Martin. Be careful of your teeth. Use your lips to cover your teeth, like this ..." Michael showed Martin how to use his mouth. "Use your tongue to stimulate the glans. You are not supposed to be sucking like sucking a straw."
Martin tried again and this time it was better. He was not as good as Jimmy, but Michael knew that he was trying and in time, he will improve. Slowly, Martin stimulated Michael. Michael closed his eyes to enjoy the pleasure. Then Martin took MIchael down his throat. Michael was surprised. He opened his eyes to see Martin's nose reaching his pubic bush. Then Martin did something surprising, at least to Michael. Michael had never experienced this before. Even Jimmy had never done this. Michael was pushed over the edge and said in an urgent voice, "Martin, I am going to come!" Martin only did what he did faster and Michael gushed forth. Martin tried to swallow as much as he could but Michael could see some of his semen flowing down the sides of Martin's mouth. When the orgasm subsided, Michael's dick remained in Martin's mouth until it became soft. Then Martin went to the bathroom.
"What did you just do?" Michael asked.
"I read the internet!" Martin grinned. "Someone said that when he could get his lover's dick down his throat, he would swallow, as if trying to swallow his lover's dick. I tried it just now. Was it okay?"
"I have never come like this in my life!" Michael replied. "Though I would like a repeat performance, it would be just a performance, not really making love."
"You know what I'd really like?" Martin asked.
"What?"
"Falling asleep with you in my arms."
"Then what are you waiting for?"
They got into bed and under the covers. They kissed and Michael put his head on Martin's chest and they fell asleep with one of Martin's arm wrapped around Michael.
Michael awoke with the sound of the heartbeat of Martin. As he stirred and opened his eyes, he heard Martin say, "You are awake at last."
"Did you sleep well with my head on your chest?" Michael asked.
"Yes, but I woke up earlier," replied Martin. He turned to look at the clock at the bedside table. "It's almost seven now. I must have been up since six. I felt your breathing and your head on my chest and I felt loved."
"You are loved," Michael answered. He got up and looked into Martin's eyes and said, "I love you." Then he leaned forward and gave Martin a peck on his lips. "Sorry Martin," he continued. "Nature calls." He got up and ran to the bathroom.
Martin could hear the sound of urine flowing into the water closet. He got up himself and thought of getting rid of the full bladder he was also having. He heard the flushing of the toilet as he entered the bathroom. He went opened the cupboard under the wash-basin and brought out a toothbrush.
"Here use this to brush your teeth. I need to use the toilet too."
"Thanks, but I think you'll need to wait a while before flushing. I'd just used it," Michael said.
"No matter."
After they had brushed their teeth and washed up, they went back into the bedroom hand in hand. Lips found lips and they kissed again. Their tongues met and their hands wandered all over their bodies. Michael broke off and started to kiss Martin's neck and then went down his chest. He found Martin's nipple and caressed it with his tongue. Martin thoroughly enjoyed the attention Michael was giving him. However, he wanted to pay attention to Michael also and started to caress MIchael's shoulder with his hands. They started to move their bodies, arms and legs and soon, each was kissing one part of the other's body. Each was enjoying the sensations that the other gave. At one point, they found each other's dicks. Kissing, licking and stroking each other dicks caused both to give out muted moans. Soon they were just paying attention to their dicks. Michael tried to do what Martin did but found it hard to do the swallowing thing that Martin was doing at the same time. There was too much pleasure there. Michael started to moan with Martin's dick in his mouth and Martin's tongue action on Michael's dick became more urgent. Martin came first. Michael swallowed each spurt as Martin came. The throbbing of Martin's dick in his mouth triggered off his own organ and he also began to come too.
When their organs started to shrink, Michael released Martin's organ and eased himself out of Martin's mouth. His mouth found Martins and they began to taste the remnants found in each other's mouths. Michael was soon hard again and he reached for Martin. He was not soft but he was not fully hard.
Martin broke the kiss and apologised, "Sorry Michael. I take a longer time to recover."
Michael looked into Martin's eyes and said, "There is nothing to apologise about. We are built differently. I am not at all disappointed." With that he resumed his kiss with Martin.
Martin's hand found Michael and started to masturbate him. Michael's kisses became more urgent and Martin knew that he was getting near. Martin stopped and moved his hands away.
"Heh, now I'm disappointed. What did you do that for?" Michael asked.
Martin grinned. "I want you to enjoy this for a longer time. I was not going to let you come that fast!"
Michael just moved forward to kiss Martin. His hands started to move over Martin's back and he found Martin's dick hardening in his hands. He started to stroke Martin's dick slowly and Martin gave a moan.
"That is nice."
Martin started to stroke Michael again. When one started to get near, the other would stop and then start after a while. This continued until the times between when they would start and when they would stop was getting shorter. As that happened they got more and more excited and more and more urgent in their kissing. Then, instead of stopping, both of them carried on. This time, Michael came first followed by Martin. They continued to kiss after they had stopped shooting.
When they were satisfied, Martin said, "Come on Michael. I think we need to wash ourselves of this mess."
Michael laughed as he took his semen-coated hands and rubbed them into the small of Martin's back. Martin took his hands and rubbed Michael's pecs. Both came together for another kiss.
"Perhaps we'd better get out of bed and remove the bedsheet. Let's not stain the mattress," Michael said.
They got up immediately and removed the bedsheets. Using the bed sheets, they wiped away most of the semen from their bodies.
Martin took the bedsheets and popped them into his new washing machine. He had decided to buy one two months before. He found that having one in the flat was more convenient than moving his clothes to and from the city.
Looking at the bed-side clock, they found that it was already eleven. They had been at each other for slightly less than four hours. They were surprised. They did not know that so much time had passed.
"No point making breakfast. Why don't we shower and then go outside for lunch?" suggested Martin.
"Sounds good to me."
Martin decided to do some grocery shopping after lunch, but Michael suggested that they shop a little later and spend the early afternoon together somewhere. They spent the afternoon walking in the park and then in a shopping centre. Most of the shops were closed for the Christmas holidays. Fortunately the supermarket was still open. The stocks were low, however, and so Martin could not get everything he wanted.
Dinner was at a fast food restaurant and they went back to Martin's flat. They spent the early part of the night in darkness making love. When they were spent, they took a shower together and got into bed. Sleep took them easily.
Michael woke with a start. He looked around, it was still dark. He took a look at the clock next to the bed: it was four o'clock in the morning. Michael got up and went to the bathroom to take a pee. When he got back to the bed, he lay beside Martin and pulled up the covers. The events of the previous nights were still fresh in his mind. He felt happy but he was not too sure about Martin. After all, this was Martin's first time. He knew that Martin had a lot of insecurities and that would pop up at one time or another. He lay there looking at the ceiling, wondering how he could help Martin to get over those insecurities. Michael was sure that he loved Martin and he knew that Martin loved him. What were Martin's thoughts? Michael slipped back to slumber as he was thinking of what he could do.
After the Christmas holidays, things quickly got back to normal. Michael was back in his flat and studying. Martin returned to his usual routine. They had to be careful not to let anyone know that they had become lovers. Michael wanted to come out and tell his family but Martin thought that he should finish his studies before letting the family know. That would eliminate the idea that Michael was paying for his studies through having sex with Martin. Michael did not like hiding things from his family, but he knew that Martin was right. His family may not understand and make things very difficult for them.
Having talked to his counselor, Martin became a more confident lover. His counselor had tried to advise Martin to come out to more people, but after discussing that with Michael, Martin felt that it was not wise. The counselor had to concede that the final decision rested on Martin himself. He also agreed that Michael would also be affected if Martin's coming out was premature.
Michael and Martin settled on a compromise regarding meeting each other. The only night that they could spend together was Thursday because Friday was the only day of the week when Michael had afternoon classes and could go to school late. As Martin's flat was more private, it was the safest place for them to be together. Unfortunately, Thursday night was also the night when Michael had his study group meetings. So, it was decided that Michael would go to Martin's flat after study group meetings except the last Thursday when Martin would stay the night in Michael's flat instead. With this arrangement, it was hoped that there would be no one suspecting anything.
It worked fine for almost a month until Michael's family had tried to get him one Thursday night when Martin was at Michael's. It was the end of January. Martin and Michael were in the midst of their lovemaking when the telephone rang. Michael wanted to let it ring but Martin insisted that Michael answer it. Reluctantly, Michael got up from the bed and answered the telephone.
"Hello, Michael?" Charlene's voice on on the other side.
"Yes, Charlene."
"Please come back. Mom is not feeling well. She said her head was giddy. She insisted on going off to work, but Adam and I managed to tell her otherwise. Please, we don't know what to do?"
"How serious is she?"
"She is still awake and she can talk, but she is breathing very hard."
"Okay, call the restaurant and tell Auntie Chow what has happened and that Mom can't come to work tonight. I'll get Mr. McBain to drive Mom to the hospital."
"Okay. Come quickly!"
"Yes. I will."
Michael told Martin what happened and they rushed to the Watsons'.
One look at the colour of Mrs. Watson's face, Martin thought that it was probably the heart.
"Let's get her into the car immediately."
Mrs. Watson was helped into the back seat of Martin's car.
"Michael, can you see if you can get your mother's identification papers, insurance card and, if she has, her medical card."
"Charlene sit with your mother."
When Michael came back, Martin asked him, "Have you locked up?"
"Yes."
"Good sit with your mother in the back." To Adam, Martin instructed, "Adam, you'll sit up front with me."
After Adam got back into the car, Martin drove off. He reached the hospital and explained what had happened to the nurse attending. The nurse moved Mrs. Watson into a closed room and told the family and Martin to wait outside and to fill in some forms at the adminstration counter.
After about twenty minutes, the nurse came out. "Mr. Watson," she addressed Martin, "your wife is fine."
"I am not Mr. Watson. Mr. Watson died quite a number of years ago. I am a family friend." Martin asked Michael to come beside him. "This is Mrs. Watson's eldest son."
"Sorry," the nurse replied. Turning to Michael she said, "Your mother had a fainting spell due to high blood pressure. We would like to keep her in for a few days for observation and some tests."
"Can we see her now?"
"I suppose that you can pop in for a second to take a look. She will be sent to a ward later. We have sedated her and she is asleep.
They all peeped in to look at her and the nurse advised them to go home. If they wanted to see her the next day, but they would have to call first to see if she was in the ward or outside doing her tests.
----- to be continued.
Author's note: Part of the above story was inspired by a song from an Irish group. Do you know which it is? Email me if you know the answer. Comments are also welcome, positive and negative. Thanks. solark36@yahoo.co.uk