Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional and not intended for minors or those judged unable by law to read this material. Any resemblance to actual people is purely coincidental.
The author reserves all rights to this work.
LONDON ROMANCE
PART FOUR
WILL: LONELY AMONG FRIENDS
I woke up early in the morning because my friends wanted to pay me a visit in the afternoon. I went out to do shopping. My little flat was already small and to have six more people in would be claustophobic, but they insisted on coming. I bought some ready made pastry to be baked for tea. I had already a nice cake and plenty of biscuits in the larder. I also bought some milk.
After all the foodstuff were stored away, I began to straighten up the house. Though Mrs. Lowry comes in to clean the house, I had to move the furniture around to accomodate seven people in the house. I pushed the small dining table against the wall. I looked at the living room set I had and decided to move the single seaters and the sofa against the wall too. They were going to be a tight squeeze. I had to remove the television first. Thankfully, the television and my video player were on a trolley with wheels. I moved the whole thing into the bedroom. Then, I set to work on the living room set. I managed to get them all in without removing the two side tables. Then I placed the coffee table in the centre and removed the vases and pictures from the side tables. There was enough space to put the teapot and the cups and saucers for everyone. I knew I didn't need to be so formal, but if I was going to entertain friends for tea, I'd better do it properly. Lastly, I added the two chairs from the dining set to complete the seven places.
I had to contend with a sandwich lunch. I didn't want to disturb my arrangement of the furniture and so wasn't able to have a steak lunch that I usually had on Sundays. After all the trouble that I'd gone through, I hope my friends had a smashing afternoon for me.
After the light lunch, I proceeded to clean up the house a little. There wasn't much to clean as Mrs Lowry did a good job. I tidied up stray magazines and newspapers and placed them on the dining table that was against the wall. I spotted a pair of shorts draped in a corner and quickly removed them. When I had finished, I scanned the room with my eyes and hoped that I didn't miss anything.
I quickly took out the frozen pastries and popped them into the oven. I'd have to do this in three batches because I only had a small oven. Each batch, according to the instructions would take twenty minutes, which meant a little over an hour for the whole thing. So, after I popped in the first batch, I went to have a quick shower. I came out in my bathrobe just in time to see the first batch browning. I had just a few minutes to wait before removing them from the oven. During the second batch, I shaved and combed my hair. I dressed during the third batch.
Just as I was finishing arranging the pastries on the serving plate, the doorbell rang. The first of my guests had arrived. I answered the door and welcomed my cousin Gabe and his wife Francine. When Francine saw me busy in the kitchen she insisted that she help me with the tea. I thanked her and showed her where the tea and kettle was. I took out the largest teapot I had and placed it on the kitchen counter. Then I took out the cups and saucers and placed them on two trays. Gabe also offered to help, but I told him to mind the door. I arranged everything on the dining table except the cups and saucers which I placed on the coffee table.
Martin and Michael came next. If I had any friends, these two would be them. I'd hurt them terribly eight years ago and they'd forgiven me. It took them a while to come up to see me but their presence healed a lot of hurt in me as well. They've been encouraging me and coming to see me often. They each gave me a hug like they always do. However, before they could start talking to me, in came Donald and Sally Taylor. Along with them came their seven-year old son, Kenny. I'd only seen Kenny a few times when I went back home. But he had grown. Then I realised that I hadn't set a place for him. I greeted them in turn, trying to think of a chair I could get Kenny at the same time.
"You seem pre-occupied, Will. Is everything okay?" Sally asked. She was always the first to see and say.
"Oh! I didn't know Kenny was coming. So I was thinking of where I could get another chair."
"I'll get one from the kitchen," Francine offered. I thanked her.
When everyone was seated, with their tea and pastry, I asked, "Now. What's this all about? You don't come down to London together for no reason at all on a Sunday afternoon. Something's up and I want to know. After all, I'm the host but I've no idea what I'm hosting!"
They all looked around. I could sense something was up but no one seemed to want to say anything. Their eyes then focused on Gabe and he in turn looked at me. I was feeling a sense of dread as he opened his mouth.
"You see," he started. "Franny is pregnant ..." I looked at Francine, who was beaming. They had been married for four years and had been trying to have a child but were unsuccessful so far.
I grinned at the blushing Francine. "It's about time!" I turned to Gabe and gave him a hug, "Congratulations cuz. When is it due?"
"The doctor said about six months. We haven't done anything else except confirm that Franny is pregnant."
"They'll be busy alright," Sally added. "Well, I remember when Kenny was conceived ..."
I saw Donald nudge Sally and when Sally turned to Donald, he had a particular look that quieten Sally down. Donald is the only person I know who can keep Sally quiet.
"Well, when Gabe found out, he sent email to everyone from the company. That's how Sally and I found out," Martin said. "I called Gabe up at the office and he said he wanted to tell you when he came down to see you this weekend. I thought that it was about time Mike and I came down, too. And when Sally got wind of it, she wanted to be in."
"Yes Will, we haven't met for over a month," Mike said. "We should get together more often."
I smiled at all of them, "Thanks y'all! It's tough to have family and friends in another city. I'm glad that you think of me once in a while."
I got a friendly punch from Gabe. "Will, you make me sound like an absolute snob! Perhaps I'd better rethink my fortnightly visits."
"That's not fair Will, you could also make the trip home to see Gabe," Sally said her two cents worth. That made me feel a little guilty. I didn't want to go up because it made me slightly depressed to see all my friends with a family or at least with someone of their own.
Donald seemed to know what I was thinking. "Will, don't pay heed to my talkative wife." Sally started to blush. "How are you doing? You don't seem to have changed much. What's your secret? My three children are so stressful."
"I'm not that bad, am I, Dad?" Kenny asked. He had been listening to the conversation in interest and I could see he didn't like his father's last statement. This prompted everyone to laugh and Mike patted Kenny's back.
"You got yourself into that one Donny. You're not getting any help from me," Sally said with a grin.
"Kenny, how can I say this? ... When a couple have a child, there are a thousand and one things to think about. You don't have to worry about whether you'll have clothes to wear or food to eat. You don't have to worry where the money for your school uniforms and books are going to come from. Your mother and I have to worry about that. You see how little Michelle needs special food and all that? Well, Daddy and Mummy have to make sure that she'll have enough to eat. Do you understand?"
"I think so. But you'd better tell me slowly when we get home," Kenny said seriously. "I think you'd better explain to Marty, too." His serious tone brought about another bout of laughter. This time Kenny grinned and seemed to enjoy the attention that he was receiving.
The afternoon came and went. Sally and Donald left first to collect the rest of their children who were at their maternal grandparents. Then whilst Martin was engaging a conversation with Gabe and Francine, Mike helped me to clear up.
"Will, Martin and I have a day off tomorrow. We're staying over in London and are hoping that we could take you out for dinner."
"Oh Mike! Why do both of you go through all that trouble? I'm alright by myself."
"Will Duncan!" Mike started to sound serious. "We're friends and we're not here because we pity you. Perhaps we feel sorry that you are alone in London but we're not here just because of that. We had a day off and we decided to come down to London for a visit. You may have hurt us in the past, but we're friends now. Since we were in the neighbourhood, we wanted to invite you for dinner. If you'd other plans we wouldn't object. It was just an invitation. There's no obligation on your part."
Michael read me so well. My first assumption was that they were doing this out of pity but I realised then that they weren't.
"Sorry Mike. I didn't mean to offend you."
"I'm also sorry for bursting out this way. It's just that you've been putting yourself down since we first reconciled three months ago. Unlike Sally and Donny, we don't have children. So it's easier for us to go anywhere. We care, Will. Martin has looked past what happened eight years ago and we're moving forward. We just hope that you are doing so, too. We also know that it's not easy to move forward alone. That's why we want to show you that we support you and care for you. You're our friend and don't you ever forget that."
I was getting misty-eyed by what Michael had said. He must've noticed it because he said, "Let's get out there. I've gotten your mood down and out there is where it is going to come up again." He turned towards the door and then suddenly stopped, "So we'll come over at six to pick you up. I've already made reservations for three."
I smiled and followed him out. As soon as I got into the living room, Gabe rose up to leave.
"Will, we need to go to Franny's mom's for dinner."
Martin and Michael helped me move the furniture back after Gabe and Francine left. They, too, left to confirm the reservation they'd made for a Bed and Breakfast. I'd see them when they come to pick me up.
One of the things that Mike and Martin discovered during the dinner was that I had isolated myself in London. For the last eight years, I'd not gone out with a single person from the city. I've been out for dinner with Gabe and Francine when they visited and out with friends whenever I went home, but I've not made any friends outside the workplace in London. They had listened attentively to me when I made this revelation. The two of them had a way of listening and getting things out of me. Never would I have thought that I'd tell them my woes.
Eight years ago, I had been a civilian advisor on navy ships. My job was to liaise between the ship and the tour operators of different countries. It was something like a one-man tour operator and a lot like public relations. It was a pilot project of sorts but it didn't work out. When they wanted to transfer me to the main-stream tours, I discovered my infection in a medical checkup. On the legal side, I could have won if I fought to become a tour guide, but realistically, it wouldn't have been good for me. At the time, the first drugs for AIDS had just appeared and things were pretty unsure. Any sign of an illness was potential death and I felt I needed to have a clinic or hospital I could go to without any problem. Touring outside the country was not going to give me that kind of security. I was grateful that the company did not sack me on account of my infection. Of course they could've and I'd fight them in court, but they were understanding enough to even pay for my medical bills. Now, things are better and the drugs are helpful even though I tire easily. My doctor advised me to excercise a bit and I go for my daily jogs. I am happy that I'm still alive.
That virus living in me has forced me to change my outlook in life. Before, it was "go with the flow", "whatever feels right", "let's enjoy!" Now, I realise that life isn't invincible and I may die at any time. It may not even be AIDS! I've become more careful with what I do. My incident with Martin has thought me to look out for the people that come into contact with me. I still can't get over the guilt that I may have caused the deaths of so many people due to unprotected sex. I don't want to hurt any more people nor do I want to be the cause of their deaths.
What Michael and Martin have helped me with since that dinner was that I had brought my fear of hurting other people to the extreme. I had purposely cut myself off from making new friends because I was so afraid of hurting them. Worse, I was also afraid of being rejected because I was HIV positive. Mike and Martin encouraged me, telling me that people who ran away because of my condition weren't going to be good friends anyway. I understood, but I admit that the first step was not going to be easy.
My first friends made were actually already aquaintances of mine. They were the old couple that I usually met at Larry's. It took me a few meetings before I actually began to share something of my life with them. Fortunately for me, they were understanding and good listeners. I was eventually able to tell them that I was gay and that I was HIV positive. With regard to my office colleagues, I wasn't sure whether they were going to take the news well, I decided that I would only tell them when I feel ready. On the other hand, I also became more friendly with the people I see when I jog. Now there are five of us in a group that jog together. I haven't told them I was gay nor that I was HIV positive. I don't think they need to know yet. I may still have to reveal my medical status when the need arises.
Martin and Michael made me promise to visit them. We planned on meeting like this: they would come to London for one weekend; then two weeks later, I would spend the weekend at their place; then two weeks after that, they'd come to London again and so on. The schedule is not strict. If they or I had something to do, we could cancel and reschedule.
We decided after that first dinner that it was going to be more convenient if we were to eat at the same restaurant every time. The first weekend that I was scheduled to go to their place, they felt that I should go up to Edinburgh. During my stay there, they brought me to a gay pub! I wasn't feeling up to it, but they told me that it was just for the experience. I must say that it was not too bad there. We had our drinks and there were some activity at the centre, but we just kept to our tables and no one disturbed us.
Martin and Michae made every effort to get me to open up. They helped me tremendously. They understood that I wasn't ready for dating yet, but were happy just because I had become a happier person.
One Friday, I decided, against my better judgement, to go to one of the gay clubs in London. The music was loud and not really my cup of tea, but I could see that the gay scene in London was not quiet at all. I got a drink and sat at the bar. One good looking red head sat next to me and started to talk.
"Hi there, I've never seen you here before, you're new, aren't you?"
"Yes, my first time," I said. Then I became more courageous and said with a grin, "I may've been away from the scene for a while, but that is an old pick-up line."
He broke into a small smile, much like when one was blushing. However the lights in the place were not enough for me to be sure if he was really blushing.
"My name's Will."
"Hi, I'm Harry."
"What a coincidence!" I exclaimed rather superficially, "We are dead ringers for the royal family!"
He laughed. "Yeah, Will and Harry. Who would've thought?"
"You come here often?" I asked
"Yeah, every weekend. It gets pretty lonely if I stay at home."
"You look kind of young. Are you sure you're allowed in here?"
"Now look whose trying the pick-up lines," teased Harry.
"Aww! I just wanted to know your age. I'm thirty-two by the way."
"You're old!" he said with a grin. "I'm twenty-five."
"So you're going to leave me and look for a younger guy?" I teased.
"Well, I'll settle for you. An older guy is good once in a while."
I didn't like the sound of the last sentence because I had my suspicions on what he was getting at. I decided to change the topic.
"You look like you're the academic type. Doing post graduate studies?"
"No! I'm not that nerdy! I'm a mechanic. I work in South London. What do you do?"
"I'm a pencil pusher. I work as a filing clerk. You could call me a nerd."
"Wow! You certainly don't look like a clerk. You look more like you do physical work. You sure have the build of a soldier or some kind of worker."
"Well, we can't judge from appearances."
He drank his last portion of his drink and asked, "so do you want to go?"
"Go?" I asked.
"Yeah, let's get some action together. You're one hot man."
If it were eight years ago, I'd have jumped up and followed him. He was a looker as well. However, my mind was on one other thing. "No, Harry, I can't."
He looked disappointed. "What do you mean you can't? Aren't I good enough for you? You were coming on to me."
"I'm sorry if you thought ... I mean I like you ..."
"So let's go!"
"I want to be your friend, not just to fuck. I can't do it with you without knowing you."
"We can fuck first and then get to know each other," he said with a leer.
"I'm sorry, I can't. I'm HIV positive."
"So?! We'll use rubbers! We'll practise safe sex."
I must admit that I was tempted. My dick was telling me to follow him. Then he added something, "... anyway there're drugs. We don't have to worry much."
I suddenly felt sick. Sick of the attitude of this young man. What was with him?
I stood up and said, "No Harry. If you want a dick up your arse, you'll have to find someone else who has no respect at all for his life! I'm looking for someone who has some sense in his head. I'm looking for someone who is not reckless and throw away his life for an hour of passion, if it lasts that long. No, Harry, if you want to throw away your life, go ahead, I'm not stopping you but I'm not going to help you throw your life away."
"Suit yourself. Sheesh! You're one uptight arsehole."
I wasn't angry that he called me an arsehole. In fact, I began to pity him. Part of me wished that he'd go through what I went through eight years ago but another part of me prayed that he would be safe. I lost my interest in the pub and left my money on the counter and left.
I walked out and waited for a cab. About five minutes later, one came by and stopped. As I got into the cab, I saw Harry coming out with another boy. A boy ... I mean a boy in his mid-twenties. They reminded me of my reckless days when I was a 'boy'. I'm by no means a 'big man' compared to them, but I'd like to think that I've grown a little more mature. I hoped that Harry would find the man of his dreams that night and stop picking up strangers. Somehow, I doubted that it would be so.
I was behind a beautiful boy. He couldn't have been more than twenty. His skin was immaculately clear and tanned. His buttocks were muscular and tight. I was moving in and out of him. He was groaning, calling out for more. I moved faster and faster until the familiar feeling of fulfillment overcame me. He shouted in pleasure as I emptied myself in him. When I had stopped ejaculating, he moved and my dick came out of his beautiful behind. I felt my dick and I stopped breathing. I was not wearing a rubber. I had just infected the boy ...
I woke up panting. My bed was sticky with semen but the pleasure that came with that wet dream was not what was foremost in my mind. It was the horror that I had infected someone.
I calmed myself down and reminded myself that it was a dream. My mind was playing the prophecy game. What if this was a premonition? What if I actually succumb to the temptations? What if ... I pushed the thoughts out. I had to get my sheets changed and washed. I couldn't allow Mrs. Lowry to do the washing. It wouldn't be right. She shouldn't have to come into contact with my body fluids. I was glad that the doctor reminded me that I should have something to prevent semen from staining the bed. The plastic sheet that I put between the bed and the sponge comforter had helped.
I took all the bed linen and tossed it into my washer. I set the temperature to high and added my own special mixture of bleach, detergent and disinfectant into the washer and turned it on. Mrs. Lowry had commented once that I had no sense of colour. If only she knew why ...
to be continued